Blog - Adulting: Second- Half

Bubbling Water

“It is the beauty within us that makes it possible for us to recognize the beauty around us. The question is not what you look at but what you see.” – Henry David Thoreau

“Be a fountain, not a drain.” – from the movie The Forge

I see that the original Dr. Scholl’s sandals are making a comeback. I will not be participating. The worst sprained ankle that I ever got as a kid came from tripping while wearing my Dr. Scholl’s. Dr. Scholl’s sandals were a drain on me, not a fountain.

There are a lot of draining people, news, experiences, etc. happening around us these days. It is so easy to feel depleted and overwhelmed. So that is why it is vitally important to stay self-aware. What are you looking at? What are you “seeing”? Are you surrounding yourself with fountains or with drains? What about you? Are you a fountain, or are you a drain to others? Are you a fountain or a drain to yourself? Are your thoughts and actions replenishing, uplifting, refreshing, and coming from deep within yourself, like a fountain? Or are you choosing to do things and to think things that deplete you, leaving you feeling empty and exhausted?

I don’t spend much time on social media. I find it to be more of a drain than a fountain. However, when I want to be uplifted and inspired I like to look at Gregorio Catarino’s feed on X. He mostly posts beautiful, inspiring artwork. Every once in a while he posts captioned art. Gregorio recently posted this picture from Disney:

Be a fountain for yourself right now, and conjure up some of your favorite memories. I had a interesting conversation lately with a group of friends and we all came to the conclusion that our best memories rarely came from the big, well-planned, carefully orchestrated events or holidays in our lives, but more from the spontaneous, out-of-nowhere, surprise gifts of unexpected wonderful moments. When we were reflecting on each of our favorite memories, they tended to be the moments that unexpectedly came together, almost like magic, like gifts showered from above, when least expected. Likewise, when I reflect back on my many travels and vacations, my favorite memories are usually experiences with individuals, or the ambiance of a certain place, or happening upon things that I have never come close to experiencing anywhere else. The tours and the famous sites are interesting, but what sticks out to me, in my fondest memories, are the “fountains” of friendly restaurant owners, and artists whom I only shared the language of awe and appreciation with, or the times laughing with my loved ones, like the time our family was famished and we were all staring at a food elevator in a Chinese restaurant in New York City, salivating like dogs every time that the elevator’s bell rang, praying that the food being delivered was finally ours.

If you choose to be a fountain, and if you choose to look at things more deeply than with just your eyes, you have a better chance at having fun, which alchemizes into your treasure box of your most cherished, beautiful memories. Be a fountain. Be a fountain for others. Be a fountain for yourself. The world can never have enough fountains.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Milly, Freddy, Evie, and me

Recently, I was listening to a really interesting podcast about Internal Family Systems theory. Internal Family Systems focuses on the idea that each of us have many parts to our own selves, and many of these parts have been created by us, throughout our lives, from early childhood on, in order to protect our core selves from situations and emotions and personality traits that we deem as “bad” or “too much” or “overwhelming.” The counselor being interviewed suggested that in order to understand our own actions and reactions, and also to understand the ways in which we go about living our lives, we should try to notice these different parts of our own personalities. She stated that it is okay to even give these personality traits “names” as long as they weren’t derogatory, like calling one of your managers, “Judgy Judy”. Just “Judy” works. (She said that it is vitally important to be compassionate and understanding with each part of ourselves, in order to open up and to understand how we operate, in our everyday lives.) To be clear, the counselor claimed this is not the same as multiple personality disorder, as you fully understand that these are all just different parts and traits of your one true self. You have created these personality aspects, in order to protect, and to deal with, and to manage different situations and triggers that happen in your life.

Firefighters are the parts of us that see everything as an emergency. Firefighters want to diffuse the situation immediately. They want to numb us from big feelings immediately. They aren’t “bad”, they are just reactors (and sometimes over reactors). They are the parts of us who don’t think before we act. Firefighters like the immediate gratification of quick shut downs. Firefighters tend to bring our addictions and obsessions and distractions into the picture quickly.

Managers typically have the same voice as the biggest critics in our lives, such as a controlling parent, or a demanding boss, or an exacting teacher. They are the parts of us that believe that we are only good for what we give and for what we do. Managers aren’t “bad”, they are just controlling. They are the parts of us who believe that we must control everything, in order to be safe. The counselor being interviewed said that our managers tend to be super judgmental and critical of our own selves, and thus also tend to be overly judgmental and critical of everyone and everything else, creating a lonely void and disconnection in our lives. The managers are overly concerned with appearances and images and titles and yet get frustrated when we still feel empty and hollow inside after each achievement. The managers tend to cyclically chase the next big thing. They like to keep us “busy.”

Exiles are the parts of us which we have abandoned. Somewhere down the line, maybe because of past criticisms or experiences that brought us shame, we have decided that these parts of us were too shameful to own as part of ourselves, so we put these parts of ourselves in the dark recesses/dungeons of our minds and we pretend that these things don’t exist. But they do exist. They do not go away. And since we don’t acknowledge them, the exiles have a tendency to come out of nowhere. We then like to project these exiled parts of ourselves on to other people, and then we put our anger and hatred of our own exiled parts, on to the subjects of our projections.

It is important to note that none of these personality aspects are “bad.” We all have these different parts and they were all created out of good intentions. They all just believe that they need to “protect” the Core Self, which ironically is the most serene, safe, connected, pure, authentic, peaceful, aware, “real” part of us who really doesn’t need any protection. They key to using Internal Family Systems theory in order to help you better understand your own actions and interactions in your own life, is self-awareness. Notice and catalog the people and the situations which trigger you. Why is this a trigger? Who comes out the most when you are triggered, your firefighters or your managers? Do your firefighters come out for certain triggers, and do your managers come out for other triggers? Who is mostly leading you through your everyday life (ideally, through enough compassionate and open-minded introspection you will get to the point where your core self is the one who mostly runs the show)? Who or what do you detest the most in life? Can you find any part of our your own self that has some resemblance to that what which you utterly can’t stand (Remember, the opposite of love isn’t hate. The opposite of love is indifference.)? Is it possible that your “exiled parts” aren’t really bad but just need redirected or put into situations where they would be treasured and appreciated? (for instance, the counselor talked about working with a lot of ADHD clients, who had spent years being chastised for being the disruptors in their classrooms, and thus they took on the moniker of “f-up” and acted up accordingly. However, when the counselor changed the way that her clients saw their ADHD traits, and asked them to redirect these traits into fields that required manic energy and single-minded focus, many of them became highly successful, and soon embraced the idea of how being “different” actually became their unstoppable superpower.)

This is just an overview. I’m just relaying what I got from the conversation from the podcast. I found it helpful and worth some exploration. Milly, my manager, and Freddy, my firefighter, and Evie, my exile, seem to appreciate the newfound attention and acknowledgment. (wink)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

*******And here’s a bonus, from my lighter, less intense part of myself (yes, she does exist). I have a new favorite to share! I found the owl version of this cup at a local store, and of course, I had to get myself more (a lot more). Go to this website, if you want to have a fun surprise in your everyday cup of coffee or tea. Creature Cups have built in “company”, and fun surprises lurking just below the surface of your drink. Here is where to buy:

https://creaturecups.com/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAzba9BhBhEiwA7glbagoV6IRPaucLZ2JWnCWt1IoxSwiV0-VnmFpYqLYw5E3FRb-8vV0cLxoC7jwQAvD_BwE

Find Your People

Happy Monday after the Super Bowl. I heard on the radio that this is the least productive day of the year. This is not surprising. I am only here being “productive” because I heard a song on one of our regional commercials, (Publix) during the Super Bowl that I had to look up. And now I MUST archive it here at the blog. I now have a new favorite band. Here is the song by Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors:

Here are the lyrics:

You gotta find your people
The ones that make you feel alright
The kind you want to stay up with all night
You got to find your people
The ones that make you feel whole
That won’t leave your side when you lose control
The ones that don’t let you lose your soul

You gotta find your people
The ones that get the joke
Who understand what you’re saying before a word is spoke
You gotta find your people
That put the needle in the groove
When you’re together, you got nothing to prove
When you’re together, you got nothing to lose

In a world of strangers, you don’t know who to trust
All you see is danger, tryna find what you lost
You can’t go in alone, everybody needs help
You gotta find your people, then you’ll find yourself

You gotta find your people
That’ll call your bluff
Who’ll ride along when the road is rough
You gotta find your people
The ones that you feel equal
They pick you up and don’t put you down
Help you find your way in the lost and found

The ones that understand you
The ones that lend a hand to you
The ones that don’t demand anything from you

You got to find your people
The ones that make you feel alright
That tell you the truth then wish you well
You gotta find your people, then you’ll find yourself
You gotta find your people, then you’ll find yourself

As I was researching this, I found out that this band has a lot of amazing songs with amazing lyrics. Listen to “Gratitude” and watch the lyrics. So good.

One of my favorite parts of life is the happy surprises and the least expected, unlikely discoveries that seem to come to you, just when you need them. I never dreamed that this year’s Super Bowl would help me to find a new favorite band. Score!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Next Exhibit

“Nobody can drive you crazy unless you agree to sit in their passenger’s seat.” – Alan Cohen

^^^^^Here’s another one that I had to have for our shared thought museum, here at Adulting – Second Half. How true is this statement? As I am writing this, a squirrel is trying to get Trip (our excitable and infamous, and unfortunately proven, squirrel hunter/killer Boykin spaniel) to fully engage. The daredevil squirrel is tapping on the fence and slowly walking across it, twitching its tail tantalizingly, and frequently pausing and watching Trip, as he cheekily shows off his tricky little tightrope routine/show. Interestingly, Trip is watching calmly and alertly in the backyard, but he is not choosing to engage in what is usually (thank goodness) a fruitless game. Trip is enjoying the plush grass, the still cool air, and his full tummy from the hearty breakfast that he just consumed. He is taking a backseat and allowing the show to go on, without participating in it. The squirrel is annoyed with this, surprisingly. He seems agitated and keeps chirping incessantly at Trip. Apparently, Rocky the squirrel, likes high stakes games of putting his life on the line for the pure thrill and excitement of it. (I truly believe that much like free solo mountain climbers, there is something annoyingly unusual in squirrels’ brains which makes them relatively fearless and antagonizing. My apologies to squirrel lovers, but not really.)

It is nice and surprising to see Trip not jump shotgun into the squirrel’s Ferrari. It shows a healthy side of Trip seldom seen. I believe that this bodes well for a peaceful day for all of us.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

New Exhibit

Here is a new exhibit in the thought museum that I call, Adulting – Second Half: (Ladies, mothers, sisters, daughters, girlfriends, wives, boss ladies, this one is especially important for you to take your time with, and to ponder with open hearts and minds):

“If a problem isn’t yours to solve, to do so would be a robbery for the person who needs the accomplishment or the lesson.” – Holiday Mathis

Ooooof. Those of us who consider one of our superpowers as being “helpful”, don’t like to consider the idea that sometimes our “helping” could actually be labeled as “robbery.” We don’t like to think that sometimes what we consider to be helpful, might actually be something more like controlling, or enabling, or arrogant and presumptuous. In short, people who tend to “help” in a codependent manner need every bit as much help as the people whom they believe they are “helping.”

When we do other people’s work, we are stealing the pride and self confidence that they achieve from accomplishing the work on their own. When we swoop in and “fix” other people’s problems, we delay the lessons the Universe is trying to teach them. The irony of all of this is, most of us “helper” types can’t stand to be “helped.” We like to be lone wolves. We can do it all ourselves. Nobody can do it better than us. Don’t try to control us. (And then, if we are honest with ourselves, we sometimes then like to thrash our chests and to lament, “Who cares about me? Who’s “helping” me? I do everything for everybody else, and nobody cares about poor little me.” We rarely think to refocus some of our own “helpful” energy on to ourselves.)

Now help isn’t bad. It is kind and good and positive to support each other through this journey we call life. Life can be hard. We need each other. However, the key difference between “helping” and “enabling” is best explained by the Association of Intervention Specialists: “The key difference between helping and enabling someone is that helping supports positive change, while enabling mitigates the consequences of negative behavior without addressing the underlying issue.”

So, for example, if a friend who is in financial trouble, asks you to help them move to a cheaper apartment, it is helpful and kind for you to assist in that way. But if a friend who is in financial trouble, wants you to help them to continue to pay for expensive rent which is way beyond their means, that is enabling to do so.

True help lifts people up. It helps them to see that they are capable and able and resilient and strong. It supports their own ability to solve their own problems. True help is support that lasts. When we feel confused if we are helping someone, or instead, we may actually be enabling someone, it is always good to check our motivations for our “helping.” Are we trying to control the situation to settle our own fears and anxieties? Are we overly concerned with our image of being a “good” person and focused on what other people may think of us? Are we overly concerned with the outcome, so that if a person whom we are “helping” doesn’t respond to our “helping” in the way that we want them to, we seethe with resentment? Is “helping” someone causing problems and detriment in our own lives and health? If we answer “yes” to any of the questions above, we aren’t being helpful to anyone, ourselves included.

What do you think of the new exhibit? Is it a little bit of “shock art”? Do you recognize yourself in any of it? Are you a helper or a robber? If someone isn’t “helping” you in the way you think that they should help you, is it possible they are actually “helping” you more than you could ever know?

Another addition to this exhibit could be: “When you change perspective, everything changes.” – Jenny Colgan

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Once Again

I don’t know if I am alone in this sentiment, but my Januaries tend to be “fits and starts.” My intentions are always full speed, but then I get sidetracked and waylaid and confused and distracted by my bloodhound of a nose whom I call “Curiosity”, with a mix of affection and annoyance. As much as I feel like I should be taking the direct road ahead, full speed, non-stop into 2025, my self-driving car is quick to take the side roads, seemingly longing for the more interesting, intriguing scenic route.

For me, today feels like another one of those “true starts to the new year.” Today is a new moon and the official start of the Asian Lunar New Year. It is said to be an extremely auspicious day for casting out into the Universe, our deepest intentions for the new year ahead. This is supposed to be a highly transformational, spiritual year, by many beliefs and faiths. It’s a year to embrace mystery and wisdom in equal parts.

The other night when my husband and I were watching a football game that was going really, really south, really, really fast for one of the teams, the announcer, Tony Romo said that it is key in any football game/season, for any football team, to “learn from the past, but don’t live in it.” This is an excellent day to take this advice for ourselves. Take wisdom from our lessons of 2024 and from all of the years prior, but at the same time, look forward to, and embrace, the mystery that 2025 and the years beyond it, have to offer us.

On a different note, I recently read that “forests are the lungs of the Earth.” Isn’t that beautiful? When you are in a moment when you need to center yourself, and just get back to your breath, imagine deeply breathing in a beautiful, serene, ancient forest, and just breathe, along with the steady, wise lungs of the beautiful Earth.

Friends, Happy New Year, once again!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

It’s Friday, No Horsepucky

It’s Friday, the best day of the week!!! For old times’ sake, I promise to add a favorite thing of mine, for you to ponder purchasing, at the end of my post, but first, also for old times’ sake, I have a really cool No Horsepucky story that happened just last week:

My regular readers already know that we lost our big yellow Labrador retriever, Ralphie, during the holidays. He had an aggressive lymphoma, and was in a lot of pain, and so we had him euthanized in our home. This was understandably devastating for all of us in our family.

Now there is a field, by a church with some homes across the street, that we would take all three of our dogs to, on occasion. We would take them off of their leads and let them run their energy off, while they gleefully ran circles around us. We were always careful to make sure there that were no other dogs nor children around. Admittedly, there is a leash law in this town that holds this big, wide open field. And also admittedly, we were breaking the law when we did this. Last week, around dusk, we took our two remaining dogs, Josie, a tricolor rough collie, and Trip, a Boykin spaniel, (also known as “little brown dogs”) to this field and we let them off of their leads, in order to run around like mad and chase each other. Lo and behold, within minutes, out of nowhere, there appeared flashing red and blue lights. A young police officer came out of a police car, and so we immediately put the dogs back on their leashes.

The officer looked chagrined. “Guys, I’m sorry,” he said. “There is a regular, same, anonymous caller who probably retired too soon, who thinks that their new job is to enforce every ordinance in this town.” He sighed. “So, I am sure that they are watching me talk to you. I have to tell you that you can’t let your dogs off of their leashes.”

“Understood, officer,” I said respectfully. “We’ll keep our direwolves under control,” my husband muttered under his breath.

“It’s really weird, though,” the officer said, as he turned to get back into his patrol car. “The caller said that it was a big yellow lab running off lead.”

True story. No horsepucky.

Okay, and now here’s the promised favorite for this freezing Friday (even here in Florida – yikes!). I read an article in the WSJ before Christmas that this particular ice cream scoop is better than all others. Supposedly, the way that the scoop conducts heat from your hands, makes scooping ice cream particularly easy, smooth and simple. So, I stuffed my family’s stockings with them, and when my daughter opened hers she exclaimed that they were the exact same scoops that she had used when working at our local, beachy, well-known, famous-in-these-parts ice cream shop.

What is this marvelous, must have contraption? It’s the Zeroll, Size 20, Original Ice Cream Scoop, and you can order it from Amazon. Now, go buy your favorite ice cream so you can try it for yourself. Yum. (Some good things do come from freezing cold.)

Finally, here’s a great question that my husband (who played football his entire youth) posed to me recently when I was getting my panties in a knot over nothing really. He said to me, “Babe, what’s the long-game here?” It jolted me into perspective quickly. Most of our little aggravations with people and with situations, aren’t that big of a deal in the scheme of things. But relationships and events can be damaged and possibly even ruined if we let these little grievances get to us, and we react poorly. So when you find yourself in a frustrated state, take a pause and ask yourself, “What’s the long-game here?” I think that this question will come quite in handy, as our family has two weddings in the horizon. While we want these days to be incredibly special, we all know that things rarely go exactly as planned. The long-game in any wedding, is a special, warm celebration of two people’s love and commitment to one another. The long-game is supporting a happy, healthy union.

The next time that you are spiraling, take a beat, and ask yourself, “What is the long-game here?” And then decide whether your actions and choices are supporting the long-game in any endeavor or relationship that is important to you. And after careful consideration, if you are quite okay with the long-game being shortened or ended, by all means, have at it.

Have a great weekend, friends! Scoop some ice cream and play the long game.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

A Letter to my Soulmates

“Life is a song – sing it. Life is a game – play it. Life is a challenge – meet it. Life is a dream – realize it. Life is a sacrifice – offer it. Life is love – enjoy it.” – Sai Baba

Dear Friends,

I don’t know about you, but I usually love the start of the new year because it makes me feel inspired and energized and “raring to go.” But honestly, at this time, this year, I feel a little differently. I feel a little depleted. I feel a little confused, and a little out of sorts. I feel a little overwhelmed and undirected and not as confident as usual.

Our country has been through a lot of intensity, in the last six months or so, particularly. We have dealt (and are still dealing) with out-of-proportion natural events, out-of-proportion political events, and also, as we know that every personal life is a world unto its own, so many of us have dealt with out-of-proportion personal events going on at the same time as the major events around us swirl (storms within storms). Intensity is not necessarily “bad.” But even feeling intensely good is a stressor to our minds, and our bodies, and our souls. Intensity, by its very definition, is a lot.

We all know that we have very little to no control of people and of events outside of ourselves, but the beauty of it is, we DO have control of how we react and how we respond to everything. And no one else has control over these reactions and these responses, but us.

I have often thought that our responses to situations come out of two places – fear or love. This is confusing sometimes, because how can you love something that you deem as truly awful? How can you approach something terrible with love? Faith comes from love. Hope comes from love. Curiosity and openness comes from love. Community and service and generosity comes from love. Optimism comes from love. Fear breeds faithlessness, hopelessness, closed mindedness, isolation, suspicion and greed and pessimism. Loving someone or something doesn’t mean that you always agree with it, or like it, or enjoy it. Loving someone or something doesn’t mean that you don’t want the circumstances to change. Loving just means fully accepting something as it currently is, and choosing a faithful, hopeful, curious, open-minded, service-minded, generous, optimistic approach to the situation, and to yourself and to others, all at the same time.

We recently spent a lovely night with close friends of ours whose home was greatly damaged in the Florida hurricanes of last fall. Despite the sadness, and frustrations, and the awfulness of the situation, our friends talked of getting closer to their friends and neighbors. They talked of the joy and excitement of seeing a waterway opened that had long been closed to boats and activities. They talked of fun changes which they can make to their home, that they had long talked about doing. They spoke with faith, hope, curiosity, openness, and abundance. They spoke of love for each other, for their home, for their community and for their state. Would have they preferred to not go through the travesty of the hurricanes? Of course! But they are choosing to respond to the situation out of love, and not out of fear.

It is my belief, that our souls decided to experience this lifetime. It is my belief that our souls decided that we were up for the adventure, and also for the triumphs and even the travesties that could come from this daunting adventure. Our souls signed on to carry out Sai Baba’s quotation: “Life is a song – sing it. Life is a game – play it. Life is a challenge – meet it. Life is a dream – realize it. Life is a sacrifice – offer it. Life is love – enjoy it.” Our souls decided to take this roller coaster ride of our lifetimes, knowing that at the end of the ride, despite all of its thrills, and all of its ups and downs, we would end up safely at our port of entry. Our love of tactile, sensual, creative experiences overcame our fears of the unknown, as we stepped into the seats to take the rides of our lives.

Much love to you all, my dear soulmates,

Kelly

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Friday’s Frolics

+ I was listening to a podcast yesterday that suggested that instead of solving our problems, we have a tendency to “change” our problems. So, we allow ourselves to get distracted with other people’s problems, or with other smaller problems in our own lives, without tackling the biggest problems, which are wreaking havoc in our own lives. It’s a neat little trick that we play on ourselves. It’s the very definition of codependency to focus on taking care of, or “fixing” others, instead of what is ours to take care of and fix – ourselves. What are you avoiding in your own life, with the premise that you are too busy dealing with other problems (and often, other people’s problems)? What are you trying to distract yourself from, instead of facing the problem head on and looking for ways to solve it?

+ My husband was talking to an independently wealthy man at work who said that he thinks that he is a better employee because he chooses to work. He does not have to work, for money. My husband said that he sees that the opposite is true, too. If you have to work to provide for your family, and there is no other way, you will hustle like nobody’s business. So, what I take from this conversation, is that employees from both extremes will make your best employees. Self-motivated workers who are doing the job for the intrinsic qualities that it gives to their lives, and self-motivated workers who are desperate to provide a nice life for themselves and their families. The shared quality is “self-motivated.” And what I have heard from every business owner I have ever met, is that finding good, reliable, steady employees is the hardest part of the business. If I were a business owner, I would suss out what is deeply motivating (or not) to a potential employee.

+ And a quote that struck me from my readings this week: “Sometimes you have to end things before they end you.”

+ Okay, I have heard from many of you that you miss my Favorite Things Friday posts, so I will give you one of my favorites for today. I bought a small Tibetan singing bowl set for around $10 on Amazon and I strike it three times every morning. It soothes me. I love to hear the sound of it. I consider this to be my own personal reset button, to start my day. And even “the less woo-woo than me, i.e. my entire family” have stated that they like the sound of it, too. Enjoy your senses. This is the real meaning of being sensual.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

(((California)))

I know that I have a few loyal California readers, and I want to let you know that my heart and prayers are with you, and all whom you love. These last six months or so, in the United States particularly, it has been beyond proven that we are no match for the elements. May you all be safe and serene and find glimmers of hope in this horrible situation. If you get a chance, please let us know that you are okay.

Yesterday, marked the first real day of the new year for me. It was the first time I had my house completely to myself in over a month. (and as an introvert who craves solitude, this was deeply delicious) I went straight into a nesting instinct on steroids, and I cleaned every linen on every single bed in the house. I had saved our bed for the last, and so, way past our bedtime, our mattress pad was still drying in the drier. Therefore, I made up a makeshift pile of blankets on our bed and I told my husband that we were “camping.” We officially started the new year, “camping” in our own bed.

I no longer write a regular Favorite Things Friday blog post, but I do want to recommend a couple of fun little gadgets. The first one is one that I bought for myself, for my birthday:

Solareye Bird Feeder with Camera – This bird feeder is a joy. I am spying on all of my hungry little feathered friends with a close-up view. I’ve only had it up for a few weeks, and I have already “collected” 12 different species of birds, all captured on video, for me to view whenever I need a smile. This feeder turns “birds-eye view” on its heels! The Carolina Chickadee has proven to be my most frequent visitor so far. This hungry little guy has shown up 32 times already.

Also, my eldest son and his fiancee’ got us an Aura Digital Frame for Christmas and it is amazing! It was super easy to set up (with their help, of course. They’re young!) The best part of this frame is that all of us in the family can download pictures to a shared Aura App any time that we desire, and then the pictures (and videos) pop up on our frame. It’s such a lovely surprise to see a new picture of loved ones that we weren’t expecting, to suddenly pop up. I have owned other digital frames before, but the Aura takes things to a new level. I highly recommend it.

Spend those Amazon gift cards that you got for Christmas, on something good, that will continually bring a smile to your face. You can’t go wrong with either of these gadgets. Please share your gadget recommendations in my Comments, too.

Shifting gears, this was the daily peace quote:

“We must look at our life without sentimentality, exaggeration or idealism. Does what we are choosing reflect what we most deeply value?“

– Jack Kornfield

If you aren’t sure what you deeply value, look at what you do, and what you choose, in your everyday life. That is what you are showing yourself, and the world, what you truly value. If you are feeling unhappy or unsettled, chances are, you aren’t living your true values. Take some time for self-awareness at this beginning of this new year. If you value love, health, family, friends, security, using your talents, truth, joy, travel, service, nature, knowledge, hope, peace, loyalty, beauty, kindness, progress, adventure, faith etc. are your actions reflecting these values?

Okay, before I close, here’s another big hug to my readers from the beautiful state of California! May the best of today, be the worst of tomorrow for all of us in 2025. Onwards and upwards . . . . It’s all going to be okay.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.