Author: admin

The Long Hike

I’ve decided that hiking brings the best out of people. Hikers are incredibly kind to one another. They always make way for people to pass through narrow pathways. They happily take pictures for other hikers. People come from all over the country, actually, people come from all over the world, to hike certain awe-inspiring trails, and the experience is always one of unified peace and pleasure, taking in the pure natural beauty of untouched nature.

Hikers never cut each other off, or jockey for positions on the resting rocks. The overall, unifying sense is one of unity, kindness, excitement, and care. There are all ages of people on hiking trails. I have seen babies in contraptions that didn’t exist when my kids were babies. The baby hikers are in containers that look like little Coleman tents strapped to their father’s or mother’s backs, and they all contain babbling or sleeping, precious, happy babies. Some people run the trails and some meander very slowly, their walking sticks poking at all the beautiful wildflowers and exposing what might be hidden underneath the blooms. Some hikers stop to take pictures at every bend, others hurry along, eager to make it to the highly anticipated destination in record time. And it is all okay. There is no one right way to hike a trail. The only thing every hiker seems to have in common, is an intellectual curiosity and an overwhelming joy to be beholding such unbelievable, marvelous sights. And then to look over at their fellow hikers and see that same joyous, anstonished awe-struck expression on their faces, reflecting their own feelings back to them.

I wish that we could live our lives like we were on an amazing, long, fascinating, sometimes harrowing, surprising, but always worthy adventure. If we hiked our lives with the same respect for other hikers, the same gratefulness for our natural world, and a genuine joy for the experience that one experiences when hiking one of many, many trails, life would be simple, but also grand.

Flocal

I bought this sign in an adorable little antique/curio shop yesterday. I’ll probably put it right above my desk. At the same shop, I also bought handmade earrings that I liked so well, I went to the etsy shop and bought a necklace made by the same local artist. The artist emailed me and we had a really fun exchange. In Florida, we call shopping the local little shops and farm markets, shopping Flocal. It is my favorite kind of shopping.

Your Soul is Alive

We are doing a lot of outdoorsy stuff this week, together as a family. It’s a good way to be together and yet be on our own, all at the same time. My second son asked us why people are in such awe of nature. We all had different answers. I said that nothing man has made can compare to the beauty and magnificence of nature. My eldest son disagreed. (He has always loved cities. On his fifth birthday, I had his birthday cake designed to be a tall building.) My son said that we are animals, too. So when we were all oohing and awing over a beaver dam, that is why we also marvel over the Hoover dam. I thought that it was a good point he made.

My husband said that we are in awe of untouched, wild nature because it is not something most of us see and experience in our every day lives. We all wondered if the park rangers are still in awe of the natural wonders they experience as part of their daily lives, work and experience. I hope so. I hope that the park rangers can view their work environment every day, the same way the rest of us are taking it in – with wonder, with amazement, with the breath-taking awe of an ecology living in synchronicity and teeming with a mass diversity of beautiful versions of Life.

“If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive. ” – Eleonora Duse

Their Roots Entwined

Last night I watched my four kids laughing, and joking, and teasing and talking and even squabbling a little bit, and I felt my heart soaked in gratefulness, awe and love for these most precious people, whom I have been privileged to raise. When they were little, I must have taken it for granted that they would always be this little band of four – the oldest, curly-headed ginger leading the pack, not far behind him, his brother, the adventurer and the instigator, followed by the youngest blue-eyed boy, (yet the biggest pup of the litter) and finally, keeping up and keeping them all in line, their brave and beautiful little sister. And then the growing up and the “growing beyond” happened, and it happened so fast.

Last night I got a glimpse. I got a glimpse of the roots that they all share which keep my children’s feet firmly planted on the Earth, even as their individual blossoms are spreading far and away. Those roots are strong. They have a base of roots entwined with a shared history, camaraderie, memories, and shared DNA. They all have had the shared experience of my husband and I, forging our perspectives and hopes and ideas, of what lives lived well, look like, and they will be able to nourish their own perspectives, hopes and ideas from the nutrients they share, from down deep under the surface of our family soil.

Here She Goes Again

I have a very busy day ahead, so I am taking the lazy way out. A couple of months ago, I answered a question on Quora, that has gotten a fair amount of positive attention. It relates to aging. So now people ask me all sorts of questions on Quora, all related to being old. It’s a little depressing, at the YOUTHFUL age of 48, to be considered old. I read this quote in Mister Roger’s book, The World According to Mr. Rogers. I liked this take on aging:

“All life events are formative. All contribute to what we become, year by year, as we go on growing. As my friend the poet Kenneth Koch once said, ‘You aren’t the age you are. You are all the ages you have ever been!’ “

Please forgive my redundancy if you have already read this answer on Quora. Here it is:

What screams “I’m getting older”?

When I was younger, I swore to myself that I would never be one of those “old fogies” who made cracks about the strangeness and ridiculousness of the younger generations. I have always prided myself on being open minded and I want to remain that way.

Still, as I age, I have found myself having to bite my tongue, more and more, on situations, attitudes, and proclivities of the younger generations. I have to remind myself more and more that the older generations felt the very same way about me and my generation, and I think my generation is just dandy. I guess it is that arrogant, condescending demeanor that I think can sometimes be a dead giveaway that screams, “I’m getting older.” It also screams of fear of change and a need for control.

That being said, trying to be part of the younger generations, just to prove that you are still “with it” and “hip” (those words probably age me right now, I know), like for instance, getting a bunch of tattoos, not because you want the tattoos, but you want people to think you are young at heart, also screams “I’m getting older”. These rash actions also scream, “And I’m Desperate to Stop Getting Older!”

The people who I like best, no matter what their age, are those people who are very comfortable in their own skin. They don’t need everyone to agree with their choices, and their likes and dislikes. They have a “live and let live attitude” and they wear their attitude with a lot of zest. These people age best, in my opinion.

Life Gets Better

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Happy Friday!!! Happy First Day of Summer Friday!!! Can it get any better than that?!? New readers, we keep it light and surface-y on Fridays, here at Adulting Second-Half. On Fridays, I discuss three favorite products, websites, songs, TV shows, foods, etc. that make my material life just a little more “Life gets better.” I strongly encourage you to add your favorites to share with us, in the Comments section. Please see previous Friday posts for more fun ideas. Here are today’s favorites:

Buxom Wanderlust Primer-Infused Blush – If you want blush with staying power, this will become your new holy grail. As I age, I now understand why older women’s make-up gets brighter. We get paler and ashier, as we age. This blush brings us back to our youthful glow and it stays on (even through summer perspiration)! I get mine at Ulta and Ibiza is my shade.

Red Clay Gourmet Pimiento Cheese – One of my guiltiest pleasures is pimiento cheese. I got addicted to it when I lived in North Carolina. (Shout out, Charlotte!) This brand is particularly tasty. My daughter mixed some up in her macaroni and cheese the other day and I have never seen her eat so fast and happily, in my life. I get it at Earth Fare, so it is free of all artificial anything. So yum!!

Medium – If you like reading my blog, and articles like my blog, you will love Medium. It is a writer’s/reader’s heaven, chock full of short, interesting articles tailored to your interests. When I go to Medium, it never fails, I start reading and then I look at the clock and at least, two hours have passed . . . .

Have an amazing weekend, guys!!! I get to spend the upcoming week with my awesome family! As I age, I understand that these are rare opportunities that I can no longer take for granted. I plan to savor every moment of just being in my family’s presence. If I end up being short and spotty with my blog, please forgive me and don’t worry about me. Know that I am in my bliss. Love to you all!! Happy Summer!!!

Siri Laughs

This was posted on Twitter’s Think Smarter a few days ago. This is so true, it’s scary. This is the kind of thing that makes me want to shrink up and hide in a little hole. I get the irony. I write a public blog every day where I spill my guts, yet I abhor the idea of being cyber-ly followed and tracked.

Privacy is such an independent, personal concept. When we were little, my cousin made up a song that we used to tease her about, yet I can still sing it. “PRIIIIIIVACY! If you want some . . . . close the door!! PRIIIIIVACY!”

I am perfectly comfortable with being very open about my feelings and perceptions on a public format, but I like my day-to-day happenings to be mostly private, and my own. I think most people are probably the opposite of that. Yet, there are the people who are willing to “let it all hang out”, like reality TV stars and the Kardasians. On the other hand, you have the entirely mysterious people who seem to leave no public footprint at all.

No matter what our privacy preferences are, one thing can be sure, if we have a cell phone, or a computer, or we spend any time in public places, someone/something is seeing us, recording us, tracking our preferences and keeping the data. It’s funny that I am comfortable with the idea of God and the angels doing this. Yet artificial intelligence makes me shiver in fear and disgust sometimes.

Angry Tears

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DON’T MESS WITH ME . . . . YOU MIGHT DROWN!

Confession: I’m a big cry baby when I am angry. I probably cry more when I am angry than when I am sad. It drives me crazy. It drives other people crazy. I think other people think that it is a manipulative thing on my part. Unfortunately, I’m not a good actress. I wish that I could automatically turn on the waterworks, when they could come in handy. There are times when I think to myself, “This IS the appropriate time to cry,” and yet, I can’t get any kind of tears to flow, to save me.

I don’t like to see myself as a weak person. I’m 48 years old and the mother of four almost grown children. I’ve taken my share of licks in life. I don’t get angry easily or often, but when I do, I admit that it isn’t pretty. I am a fire sign. My temper has been described as “fiery” by more than a dozen people in my life, throughout the years. Perhaps I need to cry the tears, in order to quell the fire.

I took an informal survey with some friends about the tendency to cry when you are angry. Luckily (I guess), I am not alone in this trait. Of course, I was only surveying women. An article in Psychology Today has this to say:

“It’s become increasingly common for therapists to note that underlying your anger are feelings of hurt. In fact the more pronounced your anger, the greater the hurt it conceals. So if the phrase “angry tears” sounds oxymoronic to you, that’s because it is: It’s profoundly descriptive of human experience yet, on the face of it, certainly sounds illogical. Still, it’s likely that at some point in your life you, too, have felt this deeply mixed emotion.”

Medical News Today offers these tips to control crying:

Tips for controlling crying

1. Walk away

2. Use words

3. Have props and use distractions

Having something to scribble on, a stress ball, or something to look at visually may be of use when heading into a situation that could trigger crying.

4. Think about something positive or funny instead

5. Concentrate on breathing

6. Blink and move the eyes

7. Relaxing facial muscles

8. Get rid of that throat lump

(Emotional crying also affects the nervous system. One way it reacts is by opening up the muscle at the back of the throat (called the glottis). This feels as though a lump is forming in the throat. Sipping water, swallowing, and yawning can help make the lump go away.)

9. Do some exercise

If all else fails, one article suggested that people should admit and address it up front that they are currently feeling angry, and when they feel angry, tears often come. It is not a trait they can control or like, but it shows the level of passion, hurt and anger they are feeling about the particular circumstance. In that sense, you can take control back in a situation, where you are feeling a little out of control.

I guess like all things, a level of acceptance probably would help the situation of me crying when I am an angry. What you resist, persists. If I own it, to myself and to others, and treat it as just my personal response to deeply felt emotion, it becomes less of a big deal. Maybe it will become even less of an occurrence, with that level of acceptance. I don’t know. Let’s test it. In the words of Clint Eastwood, “Go Ahead, Make My Day.” (but wear a raincoat, just in case.)

Promise Yourself

Does an optimist, hoping for a certain outcome, believe that the desired outcome is going to happen? Or does an optimist just believe that whatever is meant to be is going to happen, and what happens IS the best outcome, no matter how things seem?

I like to think of myself as an optimist, but I also don’t like to get my hopes up. Perhaps being an optimist, means always being able to see the bright side of things, no matter what happens. Maybe being an optimist, one just lets things happen, and sees the silver lining in everything that does happen.

Sometimes people see optimists as dumb “Pollyanna” type characters who don’t face life with realistic views. I wonder if there is a middle ground character between optimists and pessimists. I guess the middle characters would be considered to be “neutralists.” These are the people who hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. They never get too high with the highs, and too low with the lows.

Then there are the spiritualists that tell us to stay away from duality. They say that there really isn’t “good” or “bad”. Things just are. Life just is. These spiritualists say that it is our stories and perspectives that we place upon events, that turn these events into epic stories of good versus evil. They tell us to try to live our lives by just experiencing it, without judging it.

“Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.” 
― Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them