October 2020 - Adulting: Second- Half

The Road We Walk

Black and white landscapes trees fog mist The Mist roads monochrome path wallpaper | 1920x1080 | 186033 | Slenderman, Halloween memes, Scary facts

Happy Halloween! This week I was reminded of a beautiful quote by Ram Dass: “We are all just walking each other home.” This 2020 part of the walk has been rather scary. This 2020 part of the path has been reminiscent of the Haunted Forest in the Wizard of Oz. But we have each other. We are walking with each other and I believe that supernatural forces walk with us, too (and often carry us when needed). And so, with the love of the people walking with us, and the love surrounding us from our Higher Power while we trudge on, as scary as the path seems sometimes, we know that we will make it. We will make it home, to pure light and love and peace and we know this, because we each carry a small, but powerful glimmer of home in our hearts. This glimmering light, which shimmers in our beating hearts, is a guidance system or a compass, that shows us the way home. Always. So, as we travel, we must just Keep Calm and Carry On, as the English like to say.

And now, for some Halloween fun: Do you believe in ghosts? I do. I believe that I saw one, only one time in my life, when I was still a teen. But that story, my friends, will be a delicious, interesting story for another blog. If you have seen a ghost yourself, please share your story in my Comments section.

Have a hauntingly good and yet safe time, this Halloween night, under this stunning Full Blue Moon. I am closing this post with pictures that I took last night, in the same spot, within seconds of each other. One picture was of the sunset by the beach, and the other one, right across the causeway, was of the almost full moon. These were beautiful, natural instances, occurring at the very same time. Last night, this struck me as an awesome reminder that as the sun sets on one side of our journeys, on the other side, there lies a beautiful, ethereal light which leads us on to mysterious and intriguing new adventures, as we walk on, together.

Small Things Friday

If we think about it, life really is made up of all of “the small things” that eventually make up “the big things.” It is the bunch of all of the little things which end up making our days, our weeks, our years, our relationships, our legacies, our lives. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the overthinking of the so-called “big things” (which are usually in the past, or in the future), that we often forget to notice all of the beautiful details that make up our lives, our days and our moments. I don’t take Fridays seriously on the blog. I list three favorite things, songs, videos, books, products etc. that make life more fun, right in the moment. Please see previous Friday posts for more good stuff and please mention your own favorites in my Comments section. It’s all the little good stuff that makes up a good life. Here are my favorites for today:

RealClearPolitics – If you are still deciding who to vote for in this election, this website collects articles from every part of the political spectrum for you to peruse through, and it keeps a constant tab on the polls, and even the betting odds. I, for one, do not want to get mired in any more of this election mess, but I do appreciate a website that tries to be unbiased when it comes to politics. If you are enjoying the buildup to the election, this website is definitely one to check out.

CPFK Calming Pheromone Collars for Dogs – Our male dogs’ relationship has become a challenge, including neuters and trainers and a lot of hand wringing. Our trainer recommended these collars that mimic the pheromones released when a mother dog is nursing. The collars keep the pheromones right up by the dogs’ faces and are activated by their own body heat. These aren’t miracle workers (like an on/off switch) but I do sense that the dogs are feeling less anxiety and seem to have less reactivity, since we put the collars on them, just a few days ago.

Shabby Chic website – This website is a wonderful place to find personalized gifts for people that have that cozy, comforting vintage feel. I recently bought a Shabby Chic baby bunting for my husband’s coworker who just had a baby girl. They also sell monogram-able bibs and towels for infants. Honestly, the website sells all sorts of pretty furnishings and clothing for people of any age. It’s the kind of website that takes you back to simpler times, which feels so refreshing.

Repeat of My Favorite Story

On the morning of my 26th wedding anniversary, I looked back at what I had written on the blog in previous years. I decided that I couldn’t do better than last year’s letter to my children. This one bears repeating. On a funny aside, last year, in order to celebrate our big Silver Anniversary, we each got brand new cars (the first brand new cars we have ever purchased, in the entirety of our marriage). In 2020, the cars have become fabulous decorations in their resting places in the garage and remain very low mileage cars. (not exactly what we had intended – lol)

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life! Here’s my letter:

Dear Children,

I want to tell you a story. I think that you may have heard variations of this story before, but it’s a good story. It’s worth hearing again. Once upon a time, about thirty years ago, an eighteen-year-old girl met a twenty-year-old boy, up on a hill, on the girl’s first weekend, away at college. The attraction between the boy and the girl was instant. There was a fiery pull towards each other from the very start. The relationship was young, so of course, it had its fair share of dramas and petty break-ups and make-ups, as many young relationships, made up of passionate, stubborn, youthful people, often do. But somehow, the Universe knew what it was doing, and it did its part to keep the magnetic pull between these two people, a stronger force than any other kind of force that would ever try to keep them apart. Twenty-five years ago, on this very day, these two young people got married and started out on what would become an amazing shared life adventure, one like they could never have imagined.

Marriages are a co-creation of life with Life. This marriage had many co-creations: the marriage relationship itself, four incredible children, adventures in moving and exploring and vacationing, shared extended family, shared friendships, cozy homes and gardens, shared pets, shared championing of and patience for, each other’s individual personal growth, shared adversity and painful moments, and shared triumphs and glories. That is what marriage is, shared Life. I think what made this particular union so successful and loving for all of these years, was that the boy and the girl (now a man and a woman) understood the most important part of that sharing, that part being a shared devotion and appreciation and understanding of each other’s sacrifices and commitments that make the union a strong, powerful force to be reckoned with. This union is a safe haven for them and for their children, to always be able to come home to, and to rest and to renew in its kind, empowering nourishment. Nothing was more important to the man or to the woman than what they had created together. They understood that about each other and thus, the man and the woman both felt fiercely loved and treasured and honored and cared for, and there is no better feeling in the world, than that feeling. It is everything that these two lovers want for their children and their grandchildren and for the generations to follow them.

This story is still playing out, but I think the moral of the story will remain the same. Believe in love. Live love as an action. Be in awestruck gratitude when you find someone who is willing to give to you every part of their very self, for the rest of their lives. Know that there is no greater gift that they could give to you. Honor and respect and reciprocate that gift. The gift of Love grows and grows when it is nurtured, and that blooming of Love is where the greatest treasure, out of all of Life’s wonderful treasures, is truly found.

I hope that you enjoyed this story, my dear loves. I know that it is my favorite story of all time and for all of eternity.

Make It Stop

Without getting political, this is why I can’t wait for this election to be over:

+According to the battling commercials, no matter who wins, we are doomed to the worst fates which any of us have ever endured. Having been through most of 2020, that says a lot. I don’t do well in waiting rooms, let’s just get it over with. 😉

+The national “Do Not Call” list does not work. I get several calls (landline and cellular) every single day from every single state which I have ever lived in, telling me who to vote for in the upcoming election, including all of the different various state representatives and local sheriffs and tax collectors (where I no longer live).

+I am sick of people telling me to vote. I voted. I always vote. I don’t think I have ever missed voting. I don’t like the presumptuous assumption of not voting, when people use the phrase, “Vote.”

+I am completely over having to carefully weigh my every word ,when it comes to any political “issue”. I am a Sagittarius. Sag’s number one fault is constantly putting our feet in our mouths. We are known to drop brutal truths on the daily. Lately I feel like I have to use my mask as a gag, in order to avoid upsetting or offending anyone, from any side of the coin. (I am guessing some of my friends and family think that the gag/mask idea is a good one for me.)

+Election years tend to highlight the worst in all of us. I am eager for us to come together and to start showing each other what is the best in all of us. I understand that when the election is over, this isn’t going to instantly change people into healthy collaborators with the ability to see all of the good in each other and in each other’s intentions, but at least there won’t be the huge national platform exacerbating everyone’s most angry, hateful, suspicious, demonizing sides, everywhere you look.

If you choose to add to my rant in my Comments, I welcome that – please just keep it general and apolitical.

Tidbits

+ I wrote a blog post when I first started blogging about my love of throw pillows. To this day, it remains one of my most popular posts. Apparently those of us who love throw pillows are en masse, so much so, that the latest Progressive Insurance commercial pokes fun of that love of throw pillows in their latest segment of “you are turning into your parents” commercials. My family loves to give me the side-eye with sly smiles on their faces when that commercial comes on the TV. I pretend to not notice as I closely hug one of my gorgeous, soft, luxurious throw pillows into my body, with careful contemplation of how hard to throw it at the family member who dares to chuckle too loudly. They are called “throw pillows” for a reason.

+ I start mentoring my two mentees from last year again this week. The mentoring sessions will still be via Zoom, which is not my favorite, but it is better than nothing. I can’t wait to hear all about their summer adventures. I kind of expected to continue mentoring with my elementary student. We’ve bonded and I have met her family via Zoom. The volunteer coordinator at her school is very involved and dedicated. However, I honestly didn’t know what would happen with my high schooler. The mentoring program for her is more of a box that needs to be checked, so that she can keep a scholarship opportunity available to her, that will help her pay for college expenses in the future. Unfortunately, the volunteer coordinator at her school retired due to the coronavirus situation, and no one has been hired to fill the position yet. So you can only imagine how touched I felt yesterday, when the county-wide volunteer supervisor contacted me saying that my mentee had sought her out, asking for me to mentor her again!! Friends, that made my day! When I first met my mentee, I was told that she was shy and hard to connect with, but that was not the case for us. We connected immediately and when my very talented, artistic, empathetic and observant mentee, herself, told me that she was shy, I corrected her. “You are not shy, you are reserved, and that is a big difference,” I said. I distinctly remember her sitting up a little straighter after that conversation. We also talked a lot about going after what you want, and getting what you deserve. It seems that the lessons paid off and I am overjoyed that something that she wants, and made the effort to go after, is for me to mentor her again. My heart is filled.

+ I read something this morning about the term “emotional labor.” Emotional labor is usually used in the context of a work situation, such as when a customer service agent has to keep a smile on their face and a calm demeanor, with a frothing-at-the-mouth, beet-faced, candidate for anger management classes who is snarling at them, ferociously. Still, there is a broader sense of the word. We all have been putting in more hard emotional labor than usual, in this year so filled with anxiety and animosity and fear and divisiveness. We all have probably spent more time than usual, with false smiles on our faces (even when covered by masks), desperately trying to live with “the fake it ’til you make it” mantra, in many situations. There’s a reason why it’s called emotional LABOR. Labor is work. After you do hard physical labor, your body is exhausted. After you take a big exam or finish an intricate, puzzling project, you are mentally taxed. When you are having to work hard at keeping your emotions constantly in-check and regulated, due to circumstances outside of your control, that is when you have to realize that you are doing extensive emotional labor. What do we do when we are physically spent or mentally overloaded? We rest. So, remember this also applies to emotional labor. If you are emotionally fatigued, it is important to keep healthy boundaries with temperamental people, or overwhelming experiences, or overexposure to the news and social media, or to limit exposure to other kinds of upsetting circumstances, beyond your control. When we have spent a lot of energy on emotional labor, we need to rest. We need to prioritize and to do the actions which bring us to a peaceful, calm, balanced, centered state of being. Mind, Body, Spirit. All three elements are equally important for our overall health and well-being.

Monday Fun-Day

Happy Monday! Happy Fun-day from Florida, the capital of lawn flamingoes!! Now before getting on with your day, and on with your week, think of 3-5 things which you are grateful for, right in this moment. Next, think about why you are so thankful for these things, people, happenings, pets, etc., and feel how good you feel. Pause and bask in it. This is the good, warm fuzzy feeling that you are aiming for all week. You are meant to feel this good, all of the time. This good feeling is what being aligned with the Universe is all about. Any time you start getting frazzled or angry or sad, use this activity to get back on track. Have a great week!!

Soul Sunday

Good morning friends and readers. Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. On Sundays, I either write a poem or I share someone else’s poem and I would love to see some of your poems, too. I consider this spot to be a Doodle book, a poetry workshop where we just let the words and the emotions spill on the page, as they care to land. Here is my poem for the day:

Two Words is All

There is a reason why the pen is mightier than the sword.

The pen has a penchant for words,

While the sword just clumsily goes for blood.

Remember there are two words that are more powerful than anything.

The best prayer, the best spell, the best energy director in the world,

is found in two words. Get your most elegant weapon,

And write this phrase down:

Thank you.

Carry these words with you in your sacred sheath, and wield them often.

Direct them towards all of the bounties and all of the blessings,

Which create the arrangement of your every day life.

And then feel your energy and your power,

Soar to heights that you didn’t know were possible.

It really is that simple.

Two words: Thank you.

Use the incantation often and always and sincerely,

And feel, and soak, and marinate in their immense power,

And then submerge in the transformation of your own lasting peace.

Signs

What are things that you see or you experience in any one day, that make you feel protected and connected and loved and fulfilled, not by just what and who you love here on Earth, but by everyone you have ever loved, and by spiritual forces that don’t even exist on this plane? Here are some of mine:

Butterflies (blue in particular), cardinals, owls, lucky pennies, a flower seemingly blooming out of nowhere, softly tinkling windchimes, finding long lost items, dolphins, coincidences and synchronicities, the right words just at the right time, hawks, realization of living prayers answered, rainbows, constantly noticing 11:11 and 12:16 on the clock, luxurious smells that don’t seem to have a source, white feathers, the right books recommended to me just at the right time . . . .

These are just a few things that came to my mind, off hand. Take today to be on the lookout for your favorite signs and hugs and winks from the Universe. Let that be your scavenger hunt for the day, but don’t try too hard. Let these signs come to you. When you do see one, which I’m sure that you will, your whole day will seem to become even more magical and miraculous than you ever truly realized. Make looking for the signs a habit, and your weeks and your months and eventually, even your years, will become walking meditations of the sublime.

“Slow down, vow to do what’s best for your well-being at every moment of the day. Have a good understanding of where your attention goes.” – Valencia (Twitter)

Faking Adulthood Friday

Hi friends!! It’s Friday!! It’s Favorite Things Friday here at Adulting – Second Half. On Fridays, I forget about going deep. I leave “thought provoking” for the other days of the week. On Fridays, I typically list three favorite things or songs or books or food stuff that I particularly like. I ask you, my dear friends and readers, to share any of your special favorites in my Comments section. Focusing on favorite things is a great way to go into the weekend feeling good!

Here are my favorites for today:

Chick-Fil-A macaroni and cheese – This might be the best macaroni and cheese that I have ever eaten. Thinking that I was buying a large bowl of it the other day, we somehow ended up with a catering tray of it (subconscious “mistake” perhaps?), for just the three of us, at home. No one complained, and the whole tray of it only lasted us a few days. Just when you thought Chick-Fil-A couldn’t get any better, they perfected this delicacy. Eat more chicken (and eat more macaroni).

Delizza Patisserie Belgian Mini Cream Puffs – These cream puffs are divine. They have magnetic pull, they are that good. I haven’t purchased them in a while, and then my daughter talked me into buying them again, at Costco, the other day. I realize now why I try not to buy them, and bring them into the house. I just can’t leave them alone. The cream puffs are available in smaller sized boxes at Target. The cream inside of them is this achingly delicious concoction of just the perfect amount of sweet, sandwiched in flaky, tasty dough.

Philips Sonicare Rechargeable Toothbrushes – When you eat a lot of cream puffs, you need a good tooth brush. My son has been using his Sonicare toothbrush for about a year now and he has always raved about it. My husband and I finally broke down and bought ourselves each a Sonicare toothbrush and I am definitely hooked. It feels like I am polishing my teeth with a dentist’s tool. My teeth definitely feel incredibly clean after brushing. (Hint – don’t turn on the toothbrush until it is in your mouth. It took me a couple of times to get this straight and I ended up with gobs of toothpaste in my sink and on my shirt.)

Have a great weekend, my friends! See you tomorrow.

Witness to My Own Life

Unfortunately, instead of coming together during this pandemic, in some ways, there has been a fair amount of divisiveness and judgment and anger, coming from every angle, towards and against each other. Perhaps this is just a way to release a lot of pent-up angst over this very difficult year and the people around us, are our most easy targets. I know that many people have felt judged for being too carefree with their actions and their responses to the virus, but I also know that at the opposite side of the spectrum, many people feel judged for being too careful or too fearful. This post by C. Joybell C. made a lot of sense to me, for those of us who have felt judged for being cautious, at times.