Tag: uplifting

Tuesday – Museday

+ I hope that this child never changes. What is better than a person who carries emergency confetti, because they are always anticipating something to celebrate? May this sweet child need tons and tons of brightly colored, glittery confetti throughout their entire lives, in order to have it for everything that they feel the need to celebrate.

+ My husband and I have been watching the True Detective series. We are currently in the middle of season 2. Vince Vaughn plays a gangster character named Frank Semyon who says this to a young boy who has just experienced the death of his father:

 “Sometimes, a thing happens, splits your life. There’s a before and after. I got like five of them at this point. And this is your first. But if you use it right, the bad thing, you use it right, and it makes you better. Stronger. It give you something most people don’t have. Bad as this is, wrong as it is, this hurt, it can make you a better man. That’s what pain does. It shows you what was on the inside. And inside of you, is pure gold. And I know that. Your father knew that, too.”

(On an aside, the main writer of the True Detective series is Nic Pizzolatto. He is an incredible writer. The True Detective series is gritty and dark, but the character development and the quotes from the series are also ‘pure gold’. I love a show or a movie that makes me think long after I have watched it. Even if the series is too uncomfortably dark for you to watch, read some of the quotes from the series, especially Season 1. It will get your brain whirling.)

The “split your life phenomenon” is something that I have heard before. It is usually said after an enormous, untimely tragedy. But the Frank Semyon character gets it right. By the time we are fortunate enough to reach middle age and beyond, we all usually have at least one event that has happened in our lives that splits our lives into before and after. And as much as we would have preferred not to experience this said event, it does make us stronger. The grievous event makes us more compassionate. These types of events tend to awaken us and to jar us into understanding what is most meaningful to us going forward. And the silver linings can be alchemized into “pure gold” if we let the process happen.

+ “So many people need you to behave in a certain way for them to feel good. They condemn you for your selfishness. ‘How dare you be so selfish as to follow what makes you feel good. You should follow what makes us feel good.” – Esther Hicks

This is a good one for the holiday season. Are you expecting others to make your holiday season wonderful, by expecting them to do your bidding? If this is the case, are they the selfish ones, or are you? Why would you let something as important as your own well-being rest in the hands of others and their actions? Why would you give away control of your own peace of mind? Are you trying to make others feel good by walking on eggshells, doing their bidding, spending the holiday season on “shoulds” and traditions of others, only to feel resentful that no one is doing the same for you? This holiday season make your own peace of mind of utmost importance. Only do things that feel good. (and yes, that can often mean doing things for others, but only doing them because it feels good to do them, not with some kind of expectation that they will respond accordingly) I assure you that the best gift that you can give your loved ones this year is an inner peace that permeates all around you. They will feel it. They will rest in it. They will emulate it. Only do things that add to your own inner peace. Don’t allow anyone to steal your peace. Don’t give others control of your peace. Don’t expect peace to come from anywhere, or from anyone else, than your own inner wellspring. That’s where your peace lies, eternally.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday-Funday

Meme Credit: Achalika, Twitter

Yesterday, I had an interesting observation. If you consider the idea that all living things are just various containers/receptacles/vehicles for Life Force, the energy that gives the spark of life and vitality to every living thing, then it occured to me, despite my human smugness, Life Force, in that very moment, was having a much better time being contained in my robust, leaning towards the sunshine bamboo plant, and also being contained inside of my contented, little brown dog, Trip, as he lay napping happily at my feet with one paw resting on my foot. I, at that time, was grumbling over my weekly calendar, all the while worrying about the people and the details of the upcoming week. So the Life Force inside of me got to feel tumult and angst and a little bit of agitation about things maybe not going exactly as I had hoped and planned. Maybe being in a human container, is not the highest goal for Life Force. Maybe Life Force is much happier being contained in a tree, or in a bird, or in a fish. These entities do a much better job of acceptance and joy of just being peacefully themselves, in the moment, than we humans ever do, that is for sure.

Later last evening, my husband started talking about his excitement for the upcoming football season and the Vuelta (which is a bike race in Spain that lasts 21 days. “We” just finished up watching the equally long Tour de France about a week ago.) So, I put my foot down and I announced that last night was my night to choose what we would watch. I was in the mood for an uplifting, heartwarming movie. So I Googled “uplifting, heartwarming movies”. Many websites that I looked at that contained lists of “uplifting, heartwarming movies” had overlaps of the same suggested movies, and we have already seen the majority of these movies, but what struck me the most, is the fact that most of the movies listed were from the year 2000 and below. Little Miss Sunshine (2006) and La La Land (2016) seemed to be the most modern movies on the lists. Despite having seen it several times, we chose Jerry Maguire (1996). It never disappoints. Still, using just this one example, it was a reminder that society desperately needs an infusion of “uplifting and heartwarming.” We’ve collectively been through a lot, particularly in the last few years, so maybe it’s time to set aside dark and depressing for a little bit. A large dose of “uplifting and heartwarming” would do us a world of good. Large doses of anything are made up of small particles of the same matter. Maybe if we each choose to be a small particle of “uplifting and heartwarming”, we will start seeing “uplifting and heartwarming” in masses, everywhere we go. Maybe we will even see “uplifting and heartwarming” in the movies, again.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Much Needed Thread

I’ve been a little down the last couple of weeks. I was involved in a fender bender that seems to be taking on a life of its own, I’m feeling a lot of bittersweetness with all of the endings my youngest child is experiencing at the end of her senior year of high school, and there have been some dark and sad events occurring in our extended family. In short, my normal, everyday cheerfulness has felt a little more forced than it usually does. I’ve even gotten a little cynical, wondering if people are even kind anymore. But then, the Universe worked its magic (as it always does, look for the messages – they are always there):

This morning, after quickly scanning the news headlines, which helped to create an even sicker pit in my stomach, I started scrolling through Twitter and I happened upon a Tweet where a woman remembered and recounted a kindness that had happened to her on the NYC subway. It was late at night, she had just gotten on to the train, realizing that in her haste, she had dropped her keys which were connected to her wallet. A stranger, seeing this happen, quickly grabbed the keys and the wallet and hurled them on to the train, which landed right next to her, just as the doors to the subway were closing. She said that she thinks of this stranger and his quick thinking/acting and kindness often. This post has started an amazing thread that you can check out at the Tweeter’s Twitter handle (@amandamull). Amanda posted her story less than a day ago and already it has over 1000 comments, connected to it, telling similar stories of wonderful kindnesses strangers had done for other people. People talked about people going out of their way to return wallets, men who protected vulnerable young women, people going out of their way to show people directions, while being lost in foreign countries, people helping pregnant women stay steady, people paying for things or giving things away with smiles on their faces, people helping turtles flip over and cross busy roads, etc. One story that really brought a lump in my throat, was of a woman who had just found out that her three-year old child was diagnosed with leukemia. She was sitting on a bench outside of a concert hall crying. A teenager, who was attending the concert, saw her crying, and sat down on the bench with her, and for at least 10 minutes, cried with her. What I gleaned from this thread, is that it doesn’t take much to make a difference in a person’s life – a difference that they never forget. One man, David Lyall, wrote this:

“I grew up in NYC. One day I was walking to school, maybe I was 12, my Dad had died a couple of years before, life was dark and I was depressed, and I looked over my shoulder and saw a young woman smiling an encouraging smile at me from the back of a bus.”

A smile, friends. A smile. How easy it is to give away a smile, and yet how much it can mean to someone! A smile.

Deep into this wonderful Twitter thread, I saw this exchange:

“nothing gets you high like an anonymous act of kindness

Giving and getting”

The people who were recounting their stories were not just on the receiving end of benevolence. People proudly wrote about kind and generous deeds that they had done for others. This reminded me of the time that I’ll never forget, when my late father-in-law framed a thank you letter that he had received from a stranded young woman, whose car tire, he had stopped and changed. He was so proud of his act and the beautiful note which she had written to him. He sheepishly said, “See, I’m not such a bad guy.”

When you go to read this growing thread on Twitter, I’ll forewarn you that there are a few stories of ungratefulness and haughtiness and nastiness, but overwhelmingly, the stories being told and remembered and recounted, are feel-good stories, the kind of stories that make you want to live by the mantra, “Be the reason someone believes in good people.”

I have to say that reading these stories made me remember countless kindnesses shown to me along the way, as well as many times which I can proudly boast of me or one of my family members doing benevolent acts for others. Right now, I am filled with more positive, loving energy than I have felt in weeks. It’s a wonderful feeling.

Luke Bryan: I Believe Most People are Good | Country music quotes, Luke bryan quotes lyrics, Country song quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Friday Partypants

(credit: Classy With a Kick, Pinterest)

Happy Friday!!! Happy weekend!!! My regular readers know how much I love Fridays. On Fridays, I take off my ruminating, philosophy pants and I put on my Friday Partypants. On Fridays, I typically list three favorite songs or products or websites, (basically anything that I really, really like) and I love it when you add your own favorites to my Comments section. I am always excited to have new things to try, or new movies to watch, or new books to read. Here are my favorites for today:

Uptime – This application for your phone is not cheap, (I think that it is about forty dollars a year) but for me, it is worth every cent. This app takes popular non-fiction books and documentaries and basically narrows them down to “the gist” of what you need to know about each source of information. I wish that I had time to read every book that I want to read, but that would take several lifetimes, and it would also create an extremely one-dimensional life for me. Uptime also works as a great tool to figure out what areas and books that I want to explore more about, and also figuring out areas, where settling for “the gist” is all that I need to do.

The Gift by Edith Eger – This book is outstanding. Written by an Auschwitz survivor who later became a successful psychologist (she got her doctorate in her fifties – it’s never too late!), The Gift is incredibly uplifting, inspiring and full of good sense. The theme of the book is to help people find freedom, which Edith Eger defines as “becoming who you truly are.” She says that freedom requires hope, knowing that all suffering is temporary, and staying curious about what comes next. You won’t regret the time you spend reading and soaking in this wonderful, empowering book.

Sharing Knowing Looks – This might be one of my most favorite human experiences. The communication that we share with others, without talking, and yet being able to feel that complete connection and understanding between each other, by just one knowing look, is totally priceless. Yesterday, I was in the middle of getting a pedicure in a part of town that I don’t know all that well. I was getting a pedicure in a shop that I had never been to before. And I was trying to reach my daughter by text, and then by calling her frantically, and I still couldn’t reach her. Thus, (this is the negative side of today’s instant gratification, “reach everybody and everything in one second flat” technology) I flew into a mini-panic attack. I yelled to my nail technician that I had to leave the shop immediately to get to my daughter. I flew out of the shop, dragging along a towel, as my technician was desperately trying to help me to dry my feet, and to help me put on my shoes, as I ran to my car, breathing heavily. My daughter turned out to be fine. It was all a big, scary misunderstanding, but after the fiasco, I knew that I needed to return the towel to the shop. I was horrified and I was utterly embarrassed by my previous “making quite the scene,” but I decided that the best thing, and the right thing for me to do in this situation, was go back to the shop, return the towel, and get pedicures for both me and my daughter, and to leave them a nice tip. The shop was filled with female Vietnamese-American workers and it seemed that many of them did not speak English, but the look of relief and happiness and kindness and understanding on their faces, when they looked at me, almost brought me to tears. Mamas know other mamas’ hearts, without ever having to say a word. Love is the real communication and connection between all of us. And this deep and wise communication doesn’t even require any words. Love and kindness is able to be communicated in a single glance. Love is. Love.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.