Glass Down

I’m not a big believer in the categories “good” or “bad” or “normal.” I think that there are very few things that 100 percent fall into any of these categories and a lot of that is relative to different perspectives. I believe that it is best to discern things and people and places by “Is exposure to this person/place/thing, healthy for me?” and also, “How much exposure to this people/place/thing is healthy for me?” The answers to these questions are only for me to decide. These questions also apply to social media. Social media is not in its essence, “good” or “evil.” It can be used for both. The question for any of us is, “Is how I am utilizing social media on a daily basis, healthy for me?” A good way to judge your health (mental, physical, spiritual) is to examine how you feel. Generally things that are all-of-the-way-around healthy for you will make you feel “alive”, energized, hopeful, grounded, peaceful, pain-free, rested, calm, creative, connected, even-keeled etc. So when I am starting the new year, and when I am considering the tweaks that I want to make in my life in this new year, I examine what is making me feel overall healthy, and also what is detracting from my overall health, and then I make adjustments accordingly.

The social media platform which I spend most of my time engaging on is X (formerly Twitter). This is because I’m an insatiably curious person. I like to learn more about things that I am interested in. One of my favorite accounts to follow is Vala Afshar, who is a business leader, scientist, and author. There is nothing controversial on his thread. Usually he posts videos of amazing robotic inventions, or fabulous works and marvels from the fields of engineering and architecture, or famous, inspiring speeches from business leaders like Warren Buffett, or sometimes he posts beautiful facts about nature (for instance, today he posted a video of a gorgeous, golden 1400 year-old gingko tree in China and he said that gingko trees existed in the days of the dinosaurs!) In short, following Vala Afshar’s X account is a reminder of just how incredibly amazing our natural world is, and just how ingenious humanity can be, when we put our minds to it.

Recently, Vala Afshar posted two different videos of the same professor teaching interesting, inspiring lessons to his students. Unfortunately, I can’t discern who this professor is, or what he teaches, or where he teaches (or taught), but the professor appears to be an American, he is charismatic and he puts me in mind of Dean Martin. In the first lesson, the professor offers up a $20 bill and asks the class who wants it. Of course, everyone raises their hands. He then puts the bill on the ground and stamps on it, and then he picks the $20 bill up and asks his students who wants it now. Not surprisingly, everyone still raises their hands. He then crinkles it into a ball and rubs it between his hands. When he offers it up, everyone still volunteers to take it. The professor says that this is a lesson in value. The $20 bill had the same value, despite everything it had gone through and what had worn it thin. He said to use this lesson to never forget your own intrinsic value, no matter what happens throughout your lifetime.

In the second video, the professor picks up a glass of water and asks his students to guess its absolute weight. They throw out their guesses: Eight ounces? Twelve ounces? The professor quiets his students down. He said that it really doesn’t matter how much the glass of water weighs. The professor says that what really matters is how long he holds on to it, up in the air. If he holds on to it for a few minutes , the glass of water is easy to hold, and not that heavy. However, the longer he holds on to the glass of water, the heavier it feels. The professor compares our stresses and worries in our lives, to the glass of water. If you spend a few minutes on them, you’ll be fine, but the longer you hold on to them, the more you’ll start to ache, and if you spend all of your day on your problems, the professor says that you feel “paralyzed and incapable of doing anything.” The professor ends his lesson by telling his students that when they start to worry: “Always remember to put the glass down.”

Both of these lessons are wonderful reminders and excellent visuals to put into our “tool box” for better, overall and invigorating health in 2024. I hope that you are enjoying the holiday season for its own everlasting intrinsic worth (no matter what it looks like on the outside), and when you are getting frazzled, you’re able to “Put that glass down!” Cheers! Now, put the glass down.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

2023 Part 2

Picture Credit: Gregorio Catarino, Twitter

Today is a playdate for me with some of my longtime playmates, so I’ll keep this post short. Happy July! Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit

Happy Birthday, G! You have always made your mama extremely proud. I love the man you have become. Your interests are vast which makes you so interesting. I love you.

The second half of the year is here. Make it amazing . . . . if you want to . . . .

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Today’s Mantra

Credit: @WholesomeMeme, Twitter
credit: @Mindset4_Life, Twitter

These are the memes that spoke to me from Twitter today. I read also on Twitter that Harry Styles is extremely upset about what people are putting out on social media about his girlfriend, Olivia Wilde. He said this about Twitter: โ€œa s***storm of people trying to be awful to people.”

I think Harry is right. Social media can be extremely negative, harmful, mean and bullying. It can also be filled with inspiration, beauty, and wisdom. It’s what you look for in anything, that makes it so. Most people, places, and things are just neutral. We put the meaning and stories and attention into/on the item, or the person, or the relationship to these people, places and things. What is terrible for me, might be wonderful for you. The key is to put the focus on what is wonderful for you.

Are you letting yourself be loved, you grumpy little shit? Earlier this week, I got a root canal and honestly, I haven’t felt this good in quite some time. I realize I had been walking around, ignoring a growing, gnawing problem (literally in my head) that I was hoping would magically just disappear. Most of the time, life doesn’t work this way though, right? Our bodies, and our emotions send signals which grow louder and louder, for a purpose. They are saying, “Let yourself be loved, you grumpy little shit!”

Truthfully, I have more energy and vitality than I have felt in a while. I had the infection removed and my whole body is sighing with relief. My husband read that in the 1800s, people had a higher average body temperature than we have these days, because many people walked around with low-lying infections and diseases that could not be remedied. We have so many remedies these days for so many problems. Are you utilizing the remedies that are needed for your own mind, your own body, and your own spirit?

Today’s mantra is “Let yourself be loved, your grumpy little shit.” (and this means putting a big emphasis on showing love to yourself in your every waking moment, and in every decision that you make for yourself. Love and gratitude radiates outward from a healthy, loving heart. We will all benefit from your healing.)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Sentience

“A person who leaves when they are angry, often returns. A person who leaves when they are calm, rarely returns.” – Wise Connector, Twitter

“The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.” – Elie Wiesel

Love and hate are often passionate and fueled with emotion. Many unhealthy relationships (romantic and otherwise) exist on the yo-yo spectrum of love and hate, because the parties involved are in love with the drama, and the excitement, and they are individually fueled by the passion and the spectacle of the relationship, not necessarily with each other. This yo-yo string keeps them connected, and the back and forth cycle continues ad nauseum, until someone finally burns out and the string is irretrievably broken.

Any time in my life that I came to a conclusion about leaving a place, a job, a relationship, a situation, a habit, etc. it always came with a quiet, calm, sincere fullness of knowing. The last drop fell into my already overflowing pitcher, and there was no more room left for me and my energy, to stay in an untenable situation. It is in these moments in my life when I fully came to understand what my own intuition really and truly feels like. The comfort of the wisdom of our intuition is other-worldly. Intuition doesn’t arrive with an highly detailed plan book and a guaranteed crystal ball prediction of the future. Instead, intuition comes with an assurance like you have never felt before. It assures you that all that you have to do is take the next right step, and you will be lead. Intuition is not necessarily fearless, but it is reassuringly affirming that you are more than able to rise above the fear and do what you must do. Intuition comes to us with an urgency that is not excitable, but is intense and persistent. Intuition is our best leader, but your intuition won’t force you to follow it. Intuition is much like love – patient, kind, understanding . . . . Perhaps our own intuition, is the best form of self-love which we can ever know. Substitute “intuition” for “love”, in the ever comforting love verses in the Bible. It makes complete sense. Love is an action. Following your intuition is the act of loving yourself.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Artsy Fartsy Friday

Good morning!! Happy Birthday to my second eldest baby, whose amazing curiosity and intellect and talent is only overshadowed by his huge, caring heart. I love you, G.

Friday is here!! It’s my favorite day of the week. I only discuss superfluous stuff on the blog on Fridays. We all need just one day of the week to just “Let it all be and just have some fun!” On Fridays, I mention one of my favorite things or songs or products or books or websites, etc. and I ask you to share your favorites in my Comments. (You guys tend to be a little stingy with your favorites. What gives? ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

When I was in college, my sorority would hold a yearly event called Destination Unknown. I loved it. It was one of my favorite events of the year. We would all get into a travel bus and head out to an event, not knowing where we were going to end up. The social chairs were excellent at keeping the destinations top secret. My husband and I are going on a road trip, starting tomorrow. Completely against our typical Type-A style of going about things, we haven’t even made hotel arrangements. Where we end up landing, will be up to our divine intuitions (hopefully our intuitions will be in sync). I can’t wait for the adventure! Try to do a Destination Unknown sometime soon. (even if it is just for a day trip). Destination Unknowns actually tend to help you to get to know your own self, a whole lot better. The seat of your pants is stronger and more interesting than you ever thought to explore. Trust me on this.

My favorite, for this Friday morning, gave me the lovely image posted above. I follow Gregorio Catarino on Twitter, and he posts absolutely beautiful and fanciful artwork from all sorts of artists every single day. He makes my Twitter feed look like an Art Gallery. I highly recommend that you check him out. Interspersed with so much interesting, thought-provoking fodder and written brilliance that work as writing prompts for me, I also make sure that my Twitter feed has plenty of artwork and animal videos to keep me even, and mystified, and full of awe.

Have a wonderful holiday weekend, friends!!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Never forget your power, my loves. And this comes from a woman who adores her amazing husband and her wonderful three sons every bit as much as she adores her incredible daughter and her magnificent self.

It’s interesting to me that Josie, our only female dog, rules the roost. Ralphie is bigger and older than her. Trip is more audacious than her. Neither of them has ever tried to usurp her authority. She has never had to raise her voice more than a gentle growl. They respect her. Ralphie and Trip tussle with one another all of the time. But ultimately, Josie rules the roost. She knows her worth and they respect that continually. Josie never gives her power away. She owns it. And everyone in the family adores Josie, including Ralphie and Trip. And even more interestingly, she is considered the favorite dog of ours, of anyone who isn’t in our family. She is continually called “the sweetie.” Sweeties, let’s rise. Have a great day. Never, ever forget your power.

Credit: Think Smarter, Twitter

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Warm >

I didn’t feel like watching TV last night, so the quotes below are what I ended up taking screenshots of, while I was scrolling through Twitter, while cuddling on the couch with my husband and our Boykin spaniel, Trip. We had just gotten back from our nightly walk, and it was humid as could be (summer in Florida, need I say more?), and I felt so hot and grimy and sticky. Trip was also panting heavily from walking in the heat, but that overheated feeling never stops Trip from cuddling. With Trip, snuggling beats staying cool, Every. Single. Time. Therefore, I happily welcomed hot dog fur on my leg, and equally hot air being panted on to my skin, as we both felt utterly refreshed by our restoring mutual love and appreciation. Trip is absolutely right, Snuggling > Cool and Aloof, every day, all of the time.

The first story which I clicked on, from my Twitter feed, was a tweet from one of my all time favorites, The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, which is a sanctuary located in Kenya, Africa. The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust rehabilitates orphaned elephant babies and other orphaned species, until they are ready to be on their own in the wild. The stories that The Sheldrick Wildlife Trust typically sends links to on Twitter, are usually stories about how the various orphans were rescued, and came to be at the sanctuary. Last night’s story was about baby Vaarti (which means “luck” in the local dialect). Most of the babies at the sanctuary are found out in the wild, by searchers who fly over the land, or by reports from locals who see babies, desperately trying to survive out in the wild, who have sadly lost their mothers, usually to poachers or due to drought and other natural disasters. Typically, these babies are brought to the sanctuary by rescue missions utilizing trucks, and planes and helicopters. However, Vaarti was actually delivered right up to the stockades by a young, wild female elephant, who was too young herself to be Vaarti’s mother, but who recognized that he needed help. This precious, young elephant had the innate sense to deliver Vaarti right up to the gates of the sanctuary. Once that she saw that Vaarti was in the hands of safekeeping at the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, she disappeared back into the bush, and was never seen again. Angels on Earth, come in so many different beautiful forms, don’t they? Big Hearts > Cold hearts, every day, all of the time.

This next little tweet is super sweet, and also quite heartwarming:


“This kid probably 8/10 years old asked politely if he could pet my dog, I said yes. After he pet her, he hopped on his bike, popped a wheelie and said, “that was for you, thanks for letting me pet your dog.” Highlight of my day, to be honest.” (maryxwetzel, Twitter)

This tweet has a 154,000 likes from a Twitter account that has about 5,000 followers. It seems to me that we are all pretty hungry, for the good, little heartwarming stories wherever we can find them, these days. Heartwarming little stuff, such as stories about pop wheelies > Cold hard facts, every day, all of the time.

And this last tweet, just cracked me up. As a middle-aged woman about to release her youngest little baby out into the wilds of college in a few weeks, my mood meter has, admittedly, been all over the map:

“I had a mood ring once. It died of confusion.” – (Anais Ninja, Twitter)

If I personally were wearing a mood ring lately, it most likely would explode and make a mess all over my hand. Giggles are great for mood regulation. Self deprecating, warm-hearted humor, and downhome funny > Cold and aloof and serious, every day, all of the time.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Much Needed Thread

I’ve been a little down the last couple of weeks. I was involved in a fender bender that seems to be taking on a life of its own, I’m feeling a lot of bittersweetness with all of the endings my youngest child is experiencing at the end of her senior year of high school, and there have been some dark and sad events occurring in our extended family. In short, my normal, everyday cheerfulness has felt a little more forced than it usually does. I’ve even gotten a little cynical, wondering if people are even kind anymore. But then, the Universe worked its magic (as it always does, look for the messages – they are always there):

This morning, after quickly scanning the news headlines, which helped to create an even sicker pit in my stomach, I started scrolling through Twitter and I happened upon a Tweet where a woman remembered and recounted a kindness that had happened to her on the NYC subway. It was late at night, she had just gotten on to the train, realizing that in her haste, she had dropped her keys which were connected to her wallet. A stranger, seeing this happen, quickly grabbed the keys and the wallet and hurled them on to the train, which landed right next to her, just as the doors to the subway were closing. She said that she thinks of this stranger and his quick thinking/acting and kindness often. This post has started an amazing thread that you can check out at the Tweeter’s Twitter handle (@amandamull). Amanda posted her story less than a day ago and already it has over 1000 comments, connected to it, telling similar stories of wonderful kindnesses strangers had done for other people. People talked about people going out of their way to return wallets, men who protected vulnerable young women, people going out of their way to show people directions, while being lost in foreign countries, people helping pregnant women stay steady, people paying for things or giving things away with smiles on their faces, people helping turtles flip over and cross busy roads, etc. One story that really brought a lump in my throat, was of a woman who had just found out that her three-year old child was diagnosed with leukemia. She was sitting on a bench outside of a concert hall crying. A teenager, who was attending the concert, saw her crying, and sat down on the bench with her, and for at least 10 minutes, cried with her. What I gleaned from this thread, is that it doesn’t take much to make a difference in a person’s life – a difference that they never forget. One man, David Lyall, wrote this:

I grew up in NYC. One day I was walking to school, maybe I was 12, my Dad had died a couple of years before, life was dark and I was depressed, and I looked over my shoulder and saw a young woman smiling an encouraging smile at me from the back of a bus.”

A smile, friends. A smile. How easy it is to give away a smile, and yet how much it can mean to someone! A smile.

Deep into this wonderful Twitter thread, I saw this exchange:

“nothing gets you high like an anonymous act of kindness

Giving and getting”

The people who were recounting their stories were not just on the receiving end of benevolence. People proudly wrote about kind and generous deeds that they had done for others. This reminded me of the time that I’ll never forget, when my late father-in-law framed a thank you letter that he had received from a stranded young woman, whose car tire, he had stopped and changed. He was so proud of his act and the beautiful note which she had written to him. He sheepishly said, “See, I’m not such a bad guy.”

When you go to read this growing thread on Twitter, I’ll forewarn you that there are a few stories of ungratefulness and haughtiness and nastiness, but overwhelmingly, the stories being told and remembered and recounted, are feel-good stories, the kind of stories that make you want to live by the mantra, “Be the reason someone believes in good people.”

I have to say that reading these stories made me remember countless kindnesses shown to me along the way, as well as many times which I can proudly boast of me or one of my family members doing benevolent acts for others. Right now, I am filled with more positive, loving energy than I have felt in weeks. It’s a wonderful feeling.

Luke Bryan: I Believe Most People are Good | Country music quotes, Luke  bryan quotes lyrics, Country song quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Better

Image

How can you not be in awe of Dolly Parton?! Besides her amazing creative talents, and her dedication to being purely and authentically herself, she has given millions away to pay for books for children, college educations for her employees, and for vaccine development during this heart wrenching pandemic. And yet Dolly remains humble, grateful, thoughtful and down-to-earth.

I think that this fan’s tweet, says it best:

There is a Dolly Parton hall of fame and itโ€™s the planet earth. Love you.”tanya tagaq@tagaq

In times of strife, the cream rises to the top. We love to focus on the villains and the bad guys, but just for today, let’s just be in awe of the people who make this world a better place. Let’s focus on the real-life superheroes who are all around us, making this world inspirational, hopeful and even more beautiful. Don’t focus on flaws. Don’t start with “yeah, but”. We’re humans. We’re all flawed. But there are certain people who have an incredible knack for doing what is in their hearts to do, and they make it happen. Make your list today of people who are alive today, who make you want to become a better version of yourself. Is it the Ukrainians? Is it Zelenskyy? Is it Dolly? Is it your neighbor? Your sister? Your mother? Your child? Your friend? Your doctor? Your teacher? Doesn’t just thinking about these people fill your heart with so much pride and hope and enthusiasm for life, and for all that this world is capable to be??? Think of moments in your own life that you stood up to the challenge, and you put out the best version of yourself, just because you felt the need and the drive and the inspiration to do so. These moments were not only your gift to yourself, but also your gift to the entire world. Don’t be stingy. Give us more of your truest, kindest, purest, heartfelt self. If we all did this on a regular basis, just imagine how fantastically beautiful this world would be. It is people like Dolly Parton who give us a hopeful glimpse.

you make me wanna be a better man โ€“ theQuotes.me

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.