style Archives - Adulting: Second- Half

The Boss

RIP – Iris Apfel (We lost a good one yesterday. What a strong inspiration to live your life fully, up until it is the time to pass on, at the ripe old age of 102 . . . . ) A fashion designer once said this about Iris Apfel’s trademark look: “It appeals to a certain kind of joy in everybody.” Thank you, Iris, for your bravery, your audacity and your authenticity. Thank you for your joy. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Here are some of Iris Apfel’s best quotes:

“When you don’t dress like everybody else, you don’t have to think like everybody else.”

“More is more and less is a bore.”

“Remember not to be bossy… be the boss!!”

“Get comfortable outside of your comfort zone.”

“Get old, but don’t get boring!”

“If your hair is done properly and you are wearing good shoes, you can get away with anything.”

“You don’t have to be an artist to be a creator, because creativity comes in a lot of forms, like cooking or keeping a house or dressing well. What you need is imagination, to make things up for yourself.”

“The worst fashion faux pas is looking in the mirror and seeing somebody else.”

“When you try too hard to have style, you look uncomfortable, like you’re wearing a costume, like the clothes are entering the room before you do. If you’re uptight, you won’t be able to carry off even a seemingly perfect outfit. If that’s happening, I say abandon the whole thing. It’s better to be happy than well dressed.”

“You can’t go home again. If an experience was wonderful, don’t try to re-create it. It will never be as beautiful as it was the first time.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

592. What is your favorite decorative piece or artwork that you own?

Seeds and Shoes

“All is temporary. Any effort to acquire or cling to things will be tempered by this wisdom. Accept the fleeting nature of ownership and make room for happiness with the things, people and time you have.” – Holiday Mathis

“I know when I buy something, fashion needs to speak to me emotionally. I look for a shoe that represents my individuality and personal style.” – Libby, from Sam & Libby shoe company

This past weekend I found out that one of my favorite “little town” stores was going out of business. I felt a little gut-punched and soul-crushed to be honest. I think that my husband, who was with me as we happened upon their unexpected going-out-of-business sale, was concerned that I might burst out in tears, in front of the other shoppers, digging through the final, few 75% off cast-offs from the store. I didn’t wail, but I was definitely crying on the inside. This store was a plant store with a unique urban edge to it. I can look around my house and see several pots, plants and accoutrements that I had purchased there, usually on date nights, because the town that the store sits in, has wonderful, low-key restaurants right by the water. This store contained things you just didn’t find anywhere else. I never left there without purchasing something which made my heart sing a little, and as a magic bonus, the item was usually tied to a little romantic memory with my husband.

I’m with Libby. I buy my fashion pieces, my jewelry, things for my home, my cars, souvenirs from my trips, definitely my shoes, because they speak to me emotionally. I delight in individuality in myself, and in others. I adore getting a glimpse of someone’s soul and overall being by the way that they dress themselves, hold themselves, comfort themselves in their homes, adorn themselves . . . . I “worship” at the places and at the feet of people that aren’t afraid to put it all out there, and who fully own who they are, and who proudly show it, for the whole world to see. And this looks different on everyone. And yet it is all so incredibly beautiful.

We all know that the only constant is change. So savor everything. Take nothing for granted. Buy the damn shoes. Wear them proudly. Wear your emotions on your sleeves. Say thank you to everything and everyone who has made your life the unique and wonderful experience that it is. Thank you, sweet little plant store and the persons who created you. You changed lives by being fully you, and your sui generis spirit lives on in a lot of homes, and gardens all over. Your emotions have been spoken and they are lovely.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1131. Are you a positive person?

Wisdoms Abound

This is Water’s Soul, an eighty foot sculpture unveiled in Jersey City, NJ back in October. She was designed by the artist, Jaume Plensa. When you look from a distance she appears to be shushing New York City.

It has been suggested that the sculpture is not just telling New York to quiet down, but more a message to all of us to remember to relax, quiet down and stop being in such a flurry of activity all of the time. I love the visual of a mothering spirit telling us to find our calm.

Here are some more wisdoms that I found as I explored shops and towns that are new to me: (Wisdoms are all around us if we are looking for them.)

It is so true, isn’t it? We all recognize style, but to describe it, is a very difficult thing to do. Style is just so innate, intrinsic and unique to each individual soul.

And my dear friend was at a Van Gogh exhibit yesterday and texted this:

It’s true! Beauty and wisdom abound. This world is a wondrous place. If we listen to Water’s Soul and we find our calm, we are more likely to notice the beauty and wisdom in everything. Have a wondrous weekend, friends! Find the beauty and the wisdom within and in the external! Soak it in.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Style

Someday maybe I’ll meet the creator of Think Smarter. (the creator of the above meme and many other memes which I have shared on the blog) I wonder what one of the wisest people in the world looks like, and acts like? How old is the creator of Think Smarter? I bet I might be surprised.

I love fashion. I’ve gotten really lazy about it with the pandemic situation. Staying in all of the time and letting my weight creep up, has put a cramp in my style, quite literally. I read recently that the poet Emily Dickinson once went through a time where she felt a little lost from herself. “I’m out with lanterns, looking for myself!” she joked. I get what she means. I feel a little rusty and out of practice in many facets of my life, my personal style being one of these areas.

I’m not above wearing flashy designer stuff. I have a pair of Gucci rainboots which my wonderful husband bought for me, that I’ll wear until they have holes in the bottoms, and I am walking around in them, Barney Rubble style. Whenever it is a dismal rainy day, I cheer myself up by saying, “Well, good, it’s a Gucci rainboot day!”

Still, I also have a top that I got from the clearance rack at Target that I’ll keep forever and ever, or until it also ends up with holes in all the wrong places. I get more compliments on that top, than anything I have in my large (and very overstuffed) closet. I wear that top with confidence and panache, even though it is getting a little faded and worn!

I think that is the main thing about fashion. It’s not what you wear. It’s how you wear it. Having good style is not being afraid to try different combinations. Fashion is not being afraid to be looked at and studied. I love the story about Sharon Stone wearing a Gap t-shirt to the Academy Awards, and being considered one of the best dressed attendees of the evening. Fashion is just a way to be yourself, on the outside. Fashion is allowing the most interesting parts of yourself to dangle from your ears and to adorn your feet. Fashion says this is who I am, without having to say a word. You will be your most fashionable self, when you dress for yourself and for nobody else. When you feel good, you look good.

20 Fashion Quotes That Will Leave You Feeling Inspired and Confident

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

What’s In Style

Image result for quotes on having your own style

I remember watching an interesting TV show several years ago. It was a follow-up show to free extreme makeovers people had gotten from the TV show, over a year prior. It was a talk show, maybe Oprah or something very similar to her show. They revisited the people they had given expensive makeovers to, in order to see if the changes had “stuck” and if the changes had made a difference in the people’s lives and self-confidence levels. Interestingly, very few people kept the new style given to them (in the ways of clothes, hairstyles, make-up etc.) Most reverted back to what felt more like “themselves.”

One woman stood out to me. She agreed to get a makeover because her children were embarrassed by her outlandish, sexy style. They were an affluent family. The woman’s original style could best be described as Dolly Parton/Pamela Anderson, on steroids. She had bleached blond hair done up very big, with lots of extensions. She had very long fingernails, all bejeweled. She wore very colorful make-up and plenty of it. She wore so much jewelry that she sounded like a one-person marching band when she walked. This woman seemed to be a very fun, friendly personality and she was “game” to trying a new look. Her kids wanted her to be “toned down.”

The makeover was amazing. The woman was a naturally attractive woman and with the modern, svelte clothes, her straightened, sleek hair, and her overall gorgeous sophistication, the audience couldn’t help but jump up and give her a standing ovation, when she sauntered out on the runway to show off her new look. She glowed in the adoration and seemed genuinely excited to give her look a run for it, in her normal everyday life. But a year later, when the show visited the woman, she was back to her sexy, bosom blonde bombshell self, maybe even more so. She told the host of the show that while it was fine to try on a new persona for a little while, it didn’t feel like it was herself. She missed what she felt was the “authentic her” when she looked in the mirror.

After A Star is Born, everyone raved about how lovely Lady Gaga looked in the movie, au naturel. Her toned-down hippie chick beauty was stunning, yet I read that being in that “form”, was her least favorite part of making the blockbuster movie. She couldn’t wait to get back to her over-the-top shock style that she is known for and what she feels is the essence of her.

Diana Vreeland, long time editor-in-chief of Vogue magazine had a very distinct style. Modeled after Japanese Kabuki theater, she liked to keep her skin very pale, and yet she wore her blush on her cheeks, like two very distinct pink circles. Apparently, while on a flight one time, a well-meaning flight attendant came over and started rubbing Ms. Vreeland’s cheeks, “Here dear, I’ll help you blend your make-up.” It was a story the bemused, authority on fashion, loved to share at dinner parties.

What I take from all of this, is that we all look best when we look in the mirror and we see “ourselves.” No one knows us, better than us and the way to feel totally alive is to be ourselves, completely, from the inside out. Now certainly, if you are representing a company or entity that you work for, you must wear the uniform, but when you are just representing yourself, wear YOUR uniform and wear it proudly with no apologies or explanations needed.