It’s a surreal experience when you go through something that takes all (or at least most) of your attention and focus and energy and emotion, like preparing for the hurricane did for us, the early part of this week, and then, when the event is over, you just get back into your normal, everyday routine like nothing happened. In fact you feel an urgency to do so. It feels much better and more secure and in-control, to quickly clean up any messes (which serve as reminders of what you’ve been through), and to swiftly move on. We’ve all gone through this type of phenomenon in our lives, whether it be from a health crisis, or an accident, or a job loss, or something major breaking in our households, etc. Everyone else’s lives are carrying on as usual, and yours turns into this little microcosm of focus and anxiety, while “normal” life is happening all around you. It reminds me of something I watched on TV recently. My husband loves to watch road bike races, the most well-known being the Tour de France, and I watched some of it with him. During the race, which includes hundreds of bikers, riding closely together on narrow trails, at top speeds, inevitably someone will crash, or a tire will blow, etc. and the biker will stop (sometimes dramatically – like sometimes actually falling off of a cliff), and then the biker is quickly attended to by physicians and bike mechanics, and if the biker is able to, they pop right back on to a bike (even sometimes the ones who fell off cliffs!), and they do everything that they can to get back into the race, trying to forget that the annoying interruption ever even happened. It’s in our human nature not to dwell, and for the most part, I think this is good, as long as you give yourself a little acknowledgement and compassion for going through something tough and scary and sometimes traumatic. And after a little dose of self-compassion, you go to your proud “Atta Girl/Atta Boy” inner coach and you are reminded that you’ve just got another notch of confidence and experience on your tough, thick belt of resiliency, that is yours to rely on, as you wear it proudly, into the future events of your life.
Yesterday, I read the old adage “The more things change, the more things stay the same.” This is one of those wise, old sayings that I have heard, and read, and maybe even said a million times without really knowing what it means. I had to take some time to ponder this one. I even looked it up on Google. Apparently the saying speaks to our need for consistency and reliability, even if it is to our detriment. We resist change, so when things start to change, we do everything that we can to stop the change, in order to get back into and stay in our “normal state.” For any real change to occur, we must first have the most important of changes – a change of heart. Changes of heart are the hardest of all changes, because they require attention, introspection, humility, empathy, realism, and this all has to happen before any action can be taken.
“The more things change, the more things stay the same.” This adage is a good reminder and warning to us. The next time that you go through a “hurricane/bike crash” moment in your own life, take a pause before you just mindlessly clean everything up and jump right back on to the ride. See if any changes have occurred in your heart that need attending to, or if any poignant lessons from the experience, need to be integrated, because if you don’t check in with your heart, you will just be riding back on the path, with the large crowd to “Same Old/Same Old.” Make sure, with your heart as your compass, that “Same Old/Same Old” is really the destination that you want to keep heading towards.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.