Being It

The son of one of my best friends from college is getting married tomorrow. He is the first of our group of friends’ babies to get married. It feels surreal. As you age, you get little markers along the way, reminding you that you are aging. (a lot of these markers have landed on my face in the form of wrinkles and bags) But every once in awhile, as you are moving along your life, you get big flashing lights that are determined to get your attention. They seem to scream: “You, my friend, are definitely in a different era of your life!”

I remember clearly going to this young man’s parents’ wedding. We all went to college together. There were a slew of weddings back then. And then, after a while, there weren’t many weddings to attend at all. Everything evolved to baby showers. And then there was a long period of supporting each other as we raised our families, sharing our joys and our griefs along the way. And not too many years ago, the graduation notices of the children of my friends starting coming into the mailbox more and more frequently. The Christmas cards we receive every year seem to have more wedding pictures on them, and now the darling babies featured on the front on the cards are often the adored grandbabies of our friends.

It is not lost on me that the major milestones that mark the turning of the seasons of our lives, are the milestones that show where all of our loving energy has been invested. The milestones in our lives show the growth of our relationships and of our endeavors, and the branches of where our lives have grown and spread. I’m not sad that I am crossing into this new era of my life. I am perhaps a little (naively) surprised, but I am not sad. I delight in everything that I have experienced and grown wiser about in my life. I am grateful for my life. I am grateful to share this journey with others who help me to reflect on, and help me to realize all that life really is, which is to say, can mostly be whittled down to one pure thing – experiencing, living, and being Love.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2101. Can you do any fake accents? If so, which one? (This reminds me of a “No Horse Pucky” story. Let me start by saying that my husband and I have power of attorney for each other, and I handle all of our monthly bills. One month, there was a problem on one of my husband’s credit card statements that I was trying to get rectified. The customer service people told me that my husband would have to call about it, but my husband was out of the country on business. So, I thought to myself, “I’ll just lower my voice and pretend to be my husband.” Simple. Problem solved. I practiced a few times and I called back. I did my spiel in my “man voice.” The patient customer service person listened and then said to me, “Ma’am, we really are going to need to speak to your husband.” So fake man accent, is clearly not one of my talents.)

The End of the Race

My amazing daughter turns eighteen today. This is a huge milestone for her, and it’s a big milestone for her father and I, as well. Today, all four of our children are legally adults. We have raised our big brood to adulthood.

Every single friend of mine, who is also a mother, has claimed not to fear death for herself, but more so, she fears the idea of not being there to raise her children. I have always shared that same sentiment. When we wrote our will, we had certain guardians in mind and we always knew that our kids would be there for each other, but selfishly, I wanted to raise my children. I wanted to be their biggest female influence, and I wanted their father to be their main male role model. I didn’t want to miss a thing.

So today, I thank God, with everything that I have, that I was able to complete this sometimes overwhelming task of bringing up four babies to their burgeoning adulthoods, along with the man whom I love. I thank God for this incredible experience of co-creating the entity which I most cherish in this world, our family. I certainly hope to have many more years to share in the expansion of our family as my adult children carry on their own journeys outward, into their own growing adventures, but today I am savoring the close of the childhood years. Today, before I get revved up for the new race soon to start (my empty nest phase), I am crossing the finish line, in glory. I am savoring the successful end of an incredible adventure – a race/adventure/run that I didn’t always feel prepared for, didn’t always run the strides I would have liked to, had a few stumbles along the way, but I always knew that the wind was at our back, giving us the stamina to keep on going. There were higher forces always helping us along the way. This I knew, and so I was always able to keep my breath and I was able to keep a steady pace forward, full on with my pack. Deep love has an energy that keeps you going, like no other force in this world can do. Today I am reveling in that love for a beautiful young woman whom I have always called the perfect exclamation point to our family. Today, I am savoring the overwhelming mix of feelings (pride/relief/happiness/wonder/excitement/melancholy/nostalgia/satisfaction) of finishing the longest, most fulfilling race of my life. Today I am grateful for finishing strong.

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Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.