Happy Labor Day. This is the right way to do a Monday, isn’t it? My family just woke up, fully rested and restored. The morning is bright and still and quiet and calm. I saw this meme the other day and I thought to myself, that is exactly what we are doing here in 2020. We have been assigned a whole range of seemingly insurmountable mountain tops. We have reached peaks of anger and frustration, and pinnacles of rage, in so many facets of our society. But on this day that reminds us about just how much we can achieve when we labor together, we realize that we are the chosen people, to move these mountains of fear, and pain, and shame, and anger, and inequalities, and sickness, to the side, in order to clear a path for all of us, to walk into a brighter tomorrow. We are the chosen people of 2020. We know this, because we are here. We are being trusted to move the mountains. Someone knows that we are strong enough, yet have malleable hearts and open, bright minds, in order to see beyond the terrifying heights, to the beautiful valleys that stretch beyond the rocky mountain ranges. As long as we all remember to see it as our sacred task and duty, for all of us to labor against the problems, instead of “us against each other”, we will make it. We will move mountains in 2020. We are the chosen people. It is time we start acting like it.
Hi! Sending love to all of my readers and friends. For new readers, Sundays are devoted to poetry. On Sunday, I shared a poem which I have written, or a poem written by a poet that has moved me, often to my core. I ask you to share your poems in my Comments section. Poetry is the bared soul. Poetry is about as real as it gets, and that is why it typically pulls at our strings, even the strings we didn’t know that we have which are daintily and hungrily, hanging from our hearts.
Today’s poem is a rough one. It doesn’t necessarily go with my typical peaceful, glowy, hopeful-toned poems, which I typically post. This poem was not written by me. It was written by Charles Bukowski, who was known to write about the darker and edgier sides of life, in a “nothing left out”, raw, “say it like it is” style. Still, this poem deeply, and completely spoke to me. It took me most of my life to get to this point, which the speaker of the poem is talking about. It took me almost all of my life to lose all of the pretensions, and the suppositions, and the fears and the shames, and “the rules”, and “the shoulds” to just put it all out there. “I had to lose it all, to gain myself,” as the saying the goes.
Friends, whatever your passions are, whatever your craft is, whatever burns the way to the same found path in your life, no matter how much you try to veer from it, that is your purpose. It doesn’t have to mean anything, it doesn’t have to give you fame or attention or money, or even have to be understood by anybody else. That passion, that fire that just won’t be put out, was put inside of you for a reason, so honor it, follow it, and just do it. We don’t have the views that God has, but it is God/Universe/Spirit who is weaving and has already woven what is, and what will always be. The big picture of Love and Life is the beautiful woven tapestry which is already made and perfected, in all of its glory. The sparks which we have inside of each of us, which incline us to do and to be, are our own individual parts, in the shimmering, perfect creation. Don’t live a formula. Live that which bursts forth from you. Live for what resonates within you. Don’t question it. Don’t judge it. Just know it. That which bubbles inside of you, that which is just dying to get out into living motion, is your true essence. That is your real beauty. That is your gift, your spark, the much needed, and co-created addition to the perfect, eternal tapestry of Life. Do what you can do, to take off all of the covers and shades and boxes, and just let that light inside of you, shine, in all of its glory. You, and the world, will be blessed for your actions. And the true tapestry will be closer to being revealed. Remember, You Shine. (and that is an order)
if it doesn’t come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don’t do it. unless it comes unasked out of your heart and your mind and your mouth and your gut, don’t do it. if you have to sit for hours staring at your computer screen or hunched over your typewriter searching for words, don’t do it. if you’re doing it for money or fame, don’t do it. if you’re doing it because you want women in your bed, don’t do it. if you have to sit there and rewrite it again and again, don’t do it. if it’s hard work just thinking about doing it, don’t do it. if you’re trying to write like somebody else, forget about it.
if you have to wait for it to roar out of you, then wait patiently. if it never does roar out of you, do something else.
if you first have to read it to your wife or your girlfriend or your boyfriend or your parents or to anybody at all, you’re not ready.
don’t be like so many writers, don’t be like so many thousands of people who call themselves writers, don’t be dull and boring and pretentious, don’t be consumed with self- love. the libraries of the world have yawned themselves to sleep over your kind. don’t add to that. don’t do it. unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket, unless being still would drive you to madness or suicide or murder, don’t do it. unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don’t do it.
when it is truly time, and if you have been chosen, it will do it by itself and it will keep on doing it until you die or it dies in you.
You can see Ralphie, the Labrador, trying to peek his head up over the rubble, in the right hand corner, like hope of life, peeking out of a war scene. I would like to take the time and space to thank the following creatives for making me feel good about my messy mess. First, a quote from the famed author, Anne Lamott:
“I absolutely don’t buy into the current mania for tidiness and decluttering. For a writer, piles of paper and notes are a fertile field.” – Anne Lamott
And a picture taken of the late, great fashion director, Karl Lagerfeld:
Thank you both, for allowing me the state of rationalizing my messiness, for today.
Good morning, friends and readers!! I was reading another blog the other day and I noticed that the blogger called her readers, “my wonderfuls”! I like that. I think that I am going to borrow that. Happy Friday, my wonderfuls!!! I had another good thought, earlier in the week, as I was gazing at my sagging jowls in the mirror. I thought to myself what is a inexpensive, non-intrusive way to cover up my middle-aged droopy jowls? I figured it out. On good days, smile, and on bad days, stay masked up. See, masks aren’t all bad. New readers, on Fridays, I don’t try to figure out any deep thoughts. I stay on the surface on Fridays to give me and you a break from my overthinking/overwriting about, just about everything. On Fridays, I list three favorite things, songs, apps, websites, food stuff, etc. and I strongly encourage you to list your favorites in my Comments section. Fridays are called Favorite Things Friday, here at Adulting – Second Half. Please check out my previous Friday posts for more favorites to enjoy. Here are my favorites for today:
Putta Tea – I discovered this tea on the Clearance shelf at my local grocery store. Now I know that a lot of people think, “There’s a reason why things are on clearance. Nobody wants them.” But, I disagree. It is more like “Nobody wants them AT THAT PRICE.” Further, sometimes things just need to be highlighted, and that is how I found this most delicious tea. I always check out the clearance rack and that is where I have found some of my most favorite things, Putta Tea being one of them. I have never tasted a more fragrant, delicious, unusual tea from tea bags, in my lifetime. Another plus, is that the boxes in which the tea comes in, are absolutely artistic and gorgeous. So far, I have tried Putta’s “Relax” and Putta’s “Tulsi Clarity” and both were fabulous. I saw that Amazon sells a variety pack of many other Putta Tea flavors. Enjoy! My British friends and family say that a cup of tea fixes everything.
Convertible Mask Chains – Fortunately, I am not one who needs to do much in public, so I have limited mask wearing time, but for those of you who have to wear masks frequently, I saw that they are now selling mask chains (similar to chains that hold your glasses around your neck). This seems like a much more sanitary way to carry around a mask, versus digging through your purse, praying that you still have a clean mask somewhere in there. I saw some pretty mask chains on Stephanie Wolf’s website. (https://stefaniewolf.com/collections/facemasks-and-headbands) And this website has a nice gold one: https://www.camillejewelry.com/products/convertible-oval-chain-necklace-for-masks
What makes the chains convertible is that they turn into necklaces when you don’t need a mask any longer, which hopefully, will be sooner than later. (On that note, I got my Barnes and Noble Desk Diary 2021 calendar delivered yesterday, this calendar being a longtime favorite of mine forever and ever, due to its sturdy, hard cover, big calendar squares and weekly pages. I have kept all of mine on a shelf, dating back to 2008, and you’d be surprised how handy it is to look information up, like when you had health care, or house work done, with phone numbers to boot, when I can read my own handwriting. Anyway, getting the calendar yesterday was exhilarating, like “Hope in a Box!”)
Nancy Meyers Kitchen playlist – I don’t have Spotify, but I have read about how great that this music play list is, more than once, so I just started playing some of the songs from the list, and it is wonderful!! This playlist has songs like La Vien Rose by Louis Armstrong., I’ve Got a Crush on You by Steve Tyrell and I Only Have Eyes for You by The Flamingos. Seriously, this is perfect, soothing background music, for almost any activity. If you have Spotify, start playing this now, you won’t be disappointed!
I’ve mentioned before that I cut out things out of magazines that are inspirational to me, and I tape them to the inside of my calendar covers to look at, here and again, to get rejuvenated and inspired. I saved this cutting from REAL SIMPLE magazine and it is going to get taped into my new 2021 calendar right after I publish my blog post. Have a wonderful weekend, my wonderfuls!!!!
I can’t wait to say, “Bye-bye 2020, don’t let the door hitcha on your way out!!”
I’ve mentioned it before, but I just have to do it again. Watch Street Food: Latin America (Netflix), if you need a good relaxing, heartwarming, reassuring, resonating show to watch before you go to bed at night. To be clear, I don’t really like to cook. I am not a particularly picky or discriminating eater. I don’t watch The Food Channel. I love to watch Street Food: Latin America for one major reason – the cooks in the show are absolutely passionate about what they do. They love their individual lives, each centered around cooking, and it glows out of their eyes and their whole faces beam and shine. You can’t help but feel warmed and touched by these chefs’ bursting bliss. Their happiness and contentment honestly seems to burst right out of them, like it can’t be contained in their bodies. Just like daily cooking and serving makes these cooks, in the show, buzz with delight, (and like eating their various concoctions does for their customers), I feel a complete and wholesome sensation of well-being, watching “love of life” in action. It is so utterly inspirational and uplifting.
None of the featured chefs in these shows are wealthy. In fact most of them live quite modest lives, and some of them created their shops and their street stalls out of total desperation, needing to save their families from starvation. Still, if you asked me to give you an example of a completely happy, satisfied, and totally alive person, I could quickly pick more than one of these street vendors from this delightful show, as a perfect, shining example. Honestly, it would be easier for me to show you one of these people, than most comfortable American suburbanites whom I know.
This show reminds us that real nourishment comes from living our passions. When we do this, we feed our own souls, and the by-product of being true to our own purposes and to own our selves, is that the souls of many other people are fed, as well. We are all inspired and nourished, by art, and by music, and by brilliant scientific discoveries, and by inventions, and by well-cared for, happy children, and by people who serve simple, delicious delicacies, from their well-loved stalls and carts (and hearts), every single day. We are inspired and comforted and blessed by others who are the embodiment of Love in motion. Love is an action. Our hunger and thirst for life is satiated by what we do, and what others do, all in the name of Love. Life flows so well that way, just like it was designed and intended to do.
Every day is a new day of a new version of ourselves. The experiences we had over the weekend, our emotional responses to those happenings, and the wisdom we gleaned from both our experiences and our responses, have added a new layer to this energy, we each call “me.” This morning I have curated quotes from my many inspirational quote journals that sort of go along with this same theme. I am sorry that I am not sure who to attribute these quotes to, but I don’t claim any of them as mine. I am just thankful for their inspiration and sagacity.
“You can’t go back and write a new beginning, but you can start from here and write a new ending.”
“I may not be there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday.”
“Today is a new day. Begin it well, and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”
“When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That is what the storm was all about.”
“When you are a better character in your story, your story gets better.”
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
“Your past is meant to be a guidepost, not a hitching post.”
“Believe with all of your heart that you will do what you are made to do.”
“I am my only project. Fully embracing this idea gives me so much freedom to do the many things that I have been born to do. Others are in our lives for a reason, but they are not present as our works in progress.”
“Never think of yourself as a self-made person. Thousands of hearts, souls, hopes and hands molded the form that became you.”
“Anything I can go through, I can grow through.”
“Don’t worry about what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
Good morning, my beautiful friends and readers. Thank you for coming by. I hope that today finds you to be in a peaceful, restorative place. New readers (and new subscribers – thank you, peek-a-boo, I see all of you and I appreciate you so much!), Sundays are poetry workshop days, here at Adulting- Second Half. Please write a poem today. You don’t have to share it with anyone if you don’t want to, but I would love to see your poetry in my Comments section. I consider poetry to be a rule-less purge of words. Poetry is the most free form of communication. It is seductive, mysterious, alluring, and pure, all at the same time. Give yourself the gift of a poem today. Just spill it out. You might happily surprise yourself, with what comes out of your heart, in word form. At the very least, you will feel relieved and more clear. Here’s my poem for today:
I’ve read that heroin addicts are always chasing after that initial first amazing high, and they can never seem to find it again. It is the memory of that first out-of-this-world high that keeps them hooked. I think that longing for things to be exactly as how I remembered them, is why I am always wanting to try new things. I often find my repeat visits to places, or to restaurants, or to shows or movies that I have already seen, or to old neighborhoods which I used to live in, to be somewhat disappointing. Then, I feel deflated. I’ve unfairly built the experience up in my head, and it’s floating around like a pink cloud, and then the reality of the place smacks me up side the head, and the pink cloud turns gray and starts raining.
Yesterday I had one of those experiences that reminded me of this quirk of mine. A couple of years ago, on a perfectly beautiful sunny day, my husband and I stopped at this quaint little shack, which holds very limited working hours. They sell mostly fried oyster po’boys, at this sweet little sea shanty. That day, I had the most amazing oyster sandwich that I have ever had, and most likely, will ever have again, in my lifetime. I have heard that oysters are aphrodisiacs. That day, that sandwich was so good, it was orgasmic. The perfectly cooked oysters were falling out of the fresh baked bread, just toppling out of it like marbles, there were so many of them. The remoulade sauce was precisely the consummate accent, to accentuate the incredible taste of the oysters. Finally, the farm fresh lettuce and tomato, was the perfect compliment to ease any guilt one may (fleetingly) have of the fried food orgy. I half expected a perfect pearl to be at the bottom of my little paper bowl, after I devoured this seafood ecstasy.
The next time we went to the oyster bar, my husband and I were sadly and yet, not really unexpectedly, disappointed. The sandwich was a poor substitute for what we had been dreaming about, since our last experience there. The cooks were stingy with the oysters in the sandwich this particular time, and there was too much, not so perfectly baked doughy bread, for the amount of meat on the sandwich. I hate when meatballs or hot dogs are overcome by their carbohydrate coverings. Do you remember Wendy’s “Where’s the beef?” commercials? This experience was easily, “Where’s the oyster bed?” My husband and I wrote that day off as an “off” day for the cook, and we let it go.
Now as I mentioned, this restaurant keeps strange hours, so it’s hard for people to get their fix when they want it. Memories of that first, perfect concoction had been swirling in my mind for quite sometime, so I called the shack, in the middle of the afternoon to make a takeout order, that we would have for our dinner. I couldn’t wait to open the white paper wrapping, expecting the oysters to burst forth, in all of their juicy glory, begging to be my physical and emotional rapture, to give me a glow that would last me the entire weekend, at least. Instead when I opened the wrapper, it was like a bag of chips that deflates with a “Whoosh!”, letting out all of the air it held, to keep a couple of broken chips of chips, floating around in the bag, like astronauts. This time the oyster sandwich was a minuscule helping of an over-breaded, over-fried oyster-like substance, slathered in goopy sauce, shredded brown iceberg lettuce, on stale bread. In short, it sucked.
I wonder if it’s not really so bad to go to the same places, and to do the same things, as it is more important, to keep my expectations in check. It is said that comparison is the thief of happiness. Why should I compare every experience with the same person, or the same place, or the same thing, with my best previous experience or encounter with these same entities? Is that fair? Maybe I should be more willing to look at things with fresh eyes, and an open mind and to drop my expectations (which are often built up to fantasy level, using my very clever, but not always realistic imagination)? Maybe in subsequent encounters, I should look for the hidden nuances which I may have missed, having been overwhelmed with speechless joy when trying something for the first time. I should also remind myself that I am no longer “the same me” who had this encounter, the first time. In that sense, everything is really “the first time” for anything, because a new layer of me, has shown up to the familiar experience, having gone through a lot of life, in between visits with a favorite person, or to a treasured place or with an adored thing.
So in the end, I didn’t get a great oyster sandwich yesterday. It wasn’t even a good oyster sandwich. But I do think that I got a little “pearl” of wisdom and self awareness that I’ll keep tucked in my pocket. It will be good to pull out this little pearl in my mind, to remind me, that the next time that I feel disappointed or let down, maybe I just need to look for what I am getting out of this particular experience, during this unique go around, with it. There’s always something unique to notice, or some lesson to be gleaned, from just about anybody or anything. My little pearly wisdom will remind me that pearls are hard and rare to find, in a pile of sand, being held in any one oyster shell. While I can enjoy and elate in the fleeting pearl moments of life, I am reminded that it is all of the common sand, that forms the pearls, in the end. And sand has its merits, too. Sand makes the pearls. All is needed to get a full appreciation of life. The common ordinary moments are the sands of time in life, and along the way, the pearly highlighted moments stand out, in order to remind us of how really, utterly breathtaking life can be.
Hi friends!!! HAPPY FRIDAY!!!! Happy Favorite Things Friday! On Friday, I stay at the surface. There’s nothing serious about Fridays, except for fun. On Fridays, I list three favorite things, songs, books, websites, videos, health products, etc. of mine, and I strongly encourage my readers to list some of your favorites in the Comments section. Please check out previous Friday listings for more fabulous, fun, fantastic things to enjoy on your flashy, and fearless Friday!
The video below is my first favorite. I just adore this little girl. I can completely empathize and commiserate with her. My friend sent this adorably cute clip to our text chat earlier this week and I was cry-laughing, while watching it. When I was in kindergarten, someone stole my Little Bo Peep birthday hat, at a birthday party and I got stuck with the Humpty Dumpty one. I can still feel the outrage and the injustice of it all. (and you are saying, Wow, this lady sure knows how to hold a grudge!) Apparently, I had one of the biggest temper tantrums of my life at that party. Here’s the video:
Blue Diamond Wasabi Soy Almonds – Oh my, are these yummies yummy!! It’s a standing joke in my house, when my kids look dubious about what I am cooking, and they ask “So, what’s for dinner?”, I always answer, pertly, calmly, succinctly and definitively, with one word, “Yum.” We have “Yum” almost every single night. These almonds are really and truly Yum. No they are YUM (in caps, they are that good.) I know that it is gross and terribly poor manners to lick your fingers (doubly so during a pandemic), but I still sneak and lick my fingers after eating these almonds, when I am sure that no one is looking. Yum. Yum. Yum.
Neutrogena Hydro Boost products – Walgreens is one the few stores that I still go into regularly these days. Sometimes I just wander around it aimlessly for lack of anything better to do, until I get spooked by anyone coughing. These Neutrogena brand skincare products were under a BOGO promotion there a few weeks ago, so I went all in. And I am so happy that I did! I like all of the products in this line, but I am particularly enamored with the Bright BoostResurfacing Micro Polish. I keep the tube of it in my shower and I exfoliate my facial skin while showering, being the multi-tasker that most of us women are, in this world. The product is not harsh but pretty effective. I like the simplicity and the reasonableness in price of the Neutrogena line.
My husband and I go about doing a lot of things, in two entirely different ways. My husband is methodical and analytical. I am intuitive and impulsive and impatient. He tends to do things more slowly and thoughtfully than me. My motto is “Get ‘er done fast, hope for the best, and we’re strong enough, and smart enough, to be able to deal with any related fallout.” My husband’s motto is “Get it done right the first time, no matter how long and boring of a process it takes.” We have made peace with each other’s differences . . . . for the most part. We get each other. We are yin and yang. On the rare times that we have been at the grocery store together, I toss things into the shopping cart with no rhyme or reason, until my cart looks the the Grinch’s overfilled sleigh, and he halts the whole production, to organize the food in the cart, like he was packing it with the precision of a nuclear engineer, avoiding detonation. When picking restaurants, my husband likes to study Yelp, with careful consideration of each and every review. My method is more, “Let’s just wing it, and stop at the next place that looks cute.”
Neither way is “right or wrong.” We have had amazing successes and utter failures, using both methodologies, going about our business. I distinctly remember sitting in a restaurant that we had picked using my “looks cute method” and my husband reading the Yelp reviews (after we had ordered our food) about how many people had been hospitalized with food poisoning after eating there. Overall though, when my husband and I work together, taking in consideration our mutual love and admiration for each other, making room for both of our ways to meld into one shared familial life, it has worked out happily and successfully, for both of us. This fact, is a good reminder for me right now, living in a world that feels like it is in such disillusioning disarray. So many of us are craving certainty right now. We are all craving the “the right answers” and “the right way” to fix everything, right now. We have to remain hopeful and optimistic and open-minded that there may be many effective processes to get us back to balance, and we have to have faith in one another, that while going at solutions differently, most of us want the same things. We all want a sense of security, a feeling of belonging and the confidence of mattering. If we make it our collective purpose for all of us to have the ability to achieve these important feelings for each of ourselves, how we get there, to this collective peace and balance, won’t be nearly as important as the end results.
