As my regular readers know I keep this blog as a reference to thoughts that resonate with me and then I often share my thoughts about those thoughts. I read an excellent article this morning (and I just had my memory jogged when I read something about “boring”). Karen Nimmo is a writer and psychologist from New Zealand. I love her simple and no-nonsense style of writing and thinking. Her article is entitled “What To Know Before You Have a Mid-Life Crisis”. She starts the article with this quote:
“My old man shouts ‘Godammit, you should listen to my 58 years of experience’; but what he had was one year of experience repeated 58 times.” — writings of James A. Michener
Nimmo discusses that it is quite prevalent for people from the ages of 40-60 to start questioning all of their life choices which have brought them to this particular stage in their lives. She uses this article to warn people to tread carefully during a crisis time like this, and to not act too impulsively or aggressively. Crises times do not mean you need to “blow up” your current life. Your life might just need a little finessing. Nimmo makes these four points:
+ “The grass on the other side of the fence is often brown.”
+ “If you are bored, you may be boring.” Nimmo makes the point if you choose to make the goal of being less boring yourself, you may not need others to amuse you so much.
+ “If you want a magic fix, start saving for Disneyland.” Nimmo says that there is no such thing as a magical wand coming to save you. You must figure out what will be more satisfying to you and take steps towards that satisfaction.
+ “Pain has a very long tail (but not if you are mean).” In Nimmo’s words, “if you are a nice(ish) person, hit the pause button before you hurt people you care about — because it’ll hurt you too. It’s hard, if not impossible, to build a happy future on the back of other people’s pain.”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.