love Archives - Page 17 of 18 - Adulting: Second- Half

Friday, you look Great!

Good morning friends! Today is my favorite day of the week and typically on “Favorite Things Friday” I list three favorite things or songs or books or movies, etc. that make the tactile world we live in, so much fun. My process is this: when I revel in a “favorite”, I run to my Barnes and Noble Desk Diary calendar (a previous, and still all-time favorite) and I scribble that particular favorite anything, on my nice large Friday space. Unfortunately, today’s space is filled with plenty of “to do” stuff, but alas, no favorites. This morning, I was lamenting this with my husband, scrambling to find “favorites” and asking him to brainstorm with me. My husband reminded me that I treasure my authentic connection with my readers, so I can’t be fake, and pretend to love and to adore anything that I have barely tried. So, today, I have no favorites to share. Please forgive me. As I have mentioned, I am in the midst of a three week period, crammed with “big ‘stuff’, events, celebrations, concerns, etc.” that in an ideal world, would be spread out a little more evenly throughout the year. It’s like having too much salt on one part of your meal. That salt tastes better when it is evenly spread, but such is life, sometimes! I’m rolling with it, and I’m trying to stay in the moment.

The other night, I was returning 18,000+ HomeGoods decorative items (only a slight exaggeration), because we are in the middle of changing around our bedrooms and as we all know, what looks good in the store, doesn’t necessarily translate at home. In trying to appease the understandably exasperated sales clerk, I started listing all of the things which we have going on in our family life (which precipitates me having to get my rooms in order, in a big hurry), all happening in this short time period. As I was doing this, I was incredibly annoyed with myself. It’s so lame to do this. The clerk isn’t going to remember any of that stuff, which has nothing to do with her, and frankly, she doesn’t care. Nor should she care. Yada yada yada. But I kept on rattling on and on. Eww. Yuck. I don’t owe the clerk an explanation. She doesn’t owe me anything but courteousness. So much nervous energy happening, as I spout out loud, what my frenzied, and emotionally charged calendar events look like throughout the rest of this month. But you know what? We were both wearing masks, but we caught each other’s eyes and our eyes smiled, knowingly and warmly, at each other. We got it. Two middle-aged women who have been around the block a few times, gave to each other, in just that one look, the feeling of understanding, humor, empathy and reassurance. That, my friends, is the beauty of our shared humanity. And that shared humanity will always, always be a favorite of mine. I revel in it! Have a great weekend!!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

And Then, My Response

“We can be good at approaching life with perspective. My husband says that ninety percent of what is beautiful, meaningful, and useful in the world is visible in a ten-minute walk. I love this, but it does not always ring true with my PhD in morbid reflection.” – Anne Lamott

I think that I may actually be Anne Lamott, and her husband, all wrapped up in one.

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” – Albert Camus

In Florida, winter is actually the easier, more temperate weather season. Summers can be brutal. It really does all come down to perspective, doesn’t it?

“At some point in life, the world’s beauty becomes enough. You don’t need to photograph, paint, or even remember it. It is enough.” – Toni Morrison

My photographs, artwork and short-term memory are all sorely lacking. This is an easy sell for me, Toni.

“Mom, Thank you for always being there for me whenever I need support or guidance. As I am about to leave the nest, it is nice to know that I can always count on you. (That particular period, ending the previous sentence is heavily bolded and accentuated. The phrase “for advice” follows this period, but the “for advice” part was decidedly and emphatically crossed out.) I feel very lucky to have you as my mother! Thanks for giving me my wings.” – my eldest son

I found the above quote, while cleaning out our office closet this past weekend. Needless to say, it was the highlight of the weekend, for me!! This quote was found in the middle of an old, used up notebook that belonged to my eldest son, filled with college graduation to-do lists, and trainee notes from his new job. My guess is that my son had been practicing writing me a card or a note?! I may have even gotten “said card” a few years ago, when my eldest son first left home for his new adult life, but it fully touched my heart to find his words, and to read the note again (and again and again and again). The Universe sends us exactly what we need, all of the time, if we really pay attention. Look for the signs. They are all around us, all of the time.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

I’m doing my best to pass on love. Passing on my pain, isn’t very pretty. It usually involves yelling, spewing nasty words, and doing these terrible actions while sitting firmly in my Imperial Victim Chair.

Under the Carpet

I think that a big thing about what is happening this year, is that so, so many things which we all have pushed away and swept under the pretty, little carpet, are springing out of the corners, left and right. Literally and figuratively. The carpet isn’t big enough anymore, to keep the ugly reality about some unpleasant things which we have all co-created, tamped down. The elephants in the room are charging at us, in a large herd, all at once, and we can’t help but to start talking about them, because they aren’t happy or satisfied about being ignored anymore. The elephants in the room are tired of being polite. We are all at “our pitchers are full” moments, in so many facets of our lives. There isn’t room for anything more to be held in, until we spill some of what we have been desperately containing inside of us, in order to get some relief. And this seems to be a universal thing, not just relegated to a particular race or religion or country or political party or sexual identity. We all have held too much in, for much too long, and Someone pressed the release valve. And it’s scary and it is overwhelming and it’s terrifying and we don’t know where it leads us. Still, it is necessary. In the end, it is this release that will open a cleared path, which will lead us to truth and to healing and to authenticity and to acceptance and ultimately, to the universal destination of Love.

I know that just in the little microcosm of my own family, it is painful to address our private little elephant issues. It is excruciating and fearful to lift off the dark cover of the pleasant familial rug, where a lot of feelings, and misunderstandings, and resentments, and anger, and frustration, gets swept under, and away. We often do everything that we can to avoid lifting the rug. Like my middle son says, “Oh no, we are not about to have one of those emotional family moments, are we? I hate those!” And we all agree with him. We like to stay on top of the rug, where things feel pleasant, and safe and contained and well behaved. Still when any of us in my family, either musters up the courage, or some kind of outside trigger lets the overwhelming, underlying emotions take the wheel, we are forced to pick up the rug and to really examine, and to clean, and to release, what is underneath it, if we want to remain an authentically close, and healthy family. Inevitably, even after some ferocious spewing and crying and screaming and emoting, and whimpering, and divulging, and humbling, we always feel better. Real always feels better than pretend because even though it isn’t always pretty, you can believe in “real”. Pretend is fake, and it is a poor substitute for real.

It’s only when we admit that we have a problem, that anything can ever really be done about it. We don’t always have all the right answers to solve everything that was unearthed, right in that present moment, but we aren’t dancing around and tiptoeing around, and trying to contain a growing, grumbling, sleeping giant anymore. And the relief is palpable. The anxiety and the fear that we had built up as a family, about facing and revealing the truths about our fears, and our hurts, and our broken parts, our disagreements, and our shame, and our loss for answers, is often much worse than actually dealing with the truth of our own humanity and our own vulnerability. And what we find, after the initial loud, overwhelming stampede of the ignored elephants in the room, and we all come to a quiet, whimpering, worn out, released state, is that at the core of it all, we are mostly the same, and we just love each other completely. We all just want the best for ourselves and for each other, and it hurts to hurt, and it hurts to see those who we love hurt, and we want a magic wand to fix it all. And in those curled up, raw moments when all of the elephants have been acknowledged and all of the dust-up has been exposed, is when we feel the most uncomfortable and vulnerable and unguarded. But let’s not forget, it is in these moments that the real magic can begin. The starting line has been revealed. All Life begins as a naked, fragile baby. After the greatly feared giant under the carpet, is unveiled, he is not so fearsome anymore. He is surmountable because we have looked him in the eye and we are draped in each other’s arms, staring him down, and he often disappears under the eyes of Love. Because the giant under the carpet has been exposed, and the giant is no longer unacknowledged, we quickly come to the realization that bigger than any of our problems, or our mistakes, or our individual and collective pains, is our Love for each other, and our desire for the best for all of us, as individuals and as a unit. It is in our most open, humbled moments, when we have no other choice than to love each other, and to sink into our collective embrace, admitting that we need help, that the real, cleansing miracles start to happen, in ways that we could never have imagined.

I believe this is exactly what is happening in the world right now. We are just in the ugly, scary stage of the uproarious, furious, pent-up release, which we all work so hard to avoid. We have lifted the carpet, and we have acknowledged the many elephants in the room. We have stopped pretending our perfection. And when all quiets down again, and we are all quivering, humbled, yet open to possibilities, the real miracles will be brought to light, and the world will move towards being authentically whole and healed and cleansed and shimmering in the material that makes it . . . . .Love. And if we can get honest with ourselves, in the end, that is all that any of us really want. Love.

Path of Least Resistance

When life gives you a crazy ride with a pandemic, make jeeps!

I loved reading this news story about teachers who are trying to make this school year a little less scary and a little more fun for their students. At the “meet the teacher” event at the elementary school pictured above, the teachers handed their students “keys” to their individual cars. What a gift teachers are to this world! Today, my daughter starts her junior year of high school, in her bedroom. I am so thankful to her teachers, who are doing their best to make this hybrid “in-person/online” classroom situation work out for everyone, the best that they can, on a daily basis.

I’ve been reflecting on the idea that it is the shared love that we have for things, and people and places and passions, in our lives that really connects us. Think of what a unifying feeling it is, to share love for the same people, the same team, the same country, the same pets, the same state, the same school, the same hobby, the same favorite musician or band, the same ideals, the same religion, the same books, the same home, the same beach, the same profession, the same car, the same food, the same restaurant . . . . It is so refreshing and happily reflective to find people who share in our loves. It multiplies our joy.

Love really is the connector that lifts us, and sustains us, and gets us through our journey of life. And just because we feel a special connection to the people who love a lot of the same things that we do, we can still have a respect and a happiness that other people get zeal and joy from the things and the people and the places and the passions, which speak to them. We don’t have to convert others to our loves. We can just feel gratefulness that other people have found their own loves and their own passions, because the bottom line of it all, is that if we stay in our own lanes, there is no traffic. (I read that quote on Twitter recently and it has become my much-needed daily reminder mantra, as a well-intentioned, but highly overprotective woman/mother/wife/friend/family member during these strange and ambiguous times.)

If we are all riding on the easy street of flowing with our own loves, and our own passions, and our own inspirations, and our own well-being, and we are all living in the faith and the trust that others are capable of doing the same for themselves, and that there are enough pathways for all of us in this world, traffic jams and accidents and mass casualties, are a lot less likely to happen. If we trust that we can find what sustains us, and allow others to do the same for themselves, love flows. I think that life is meant to flow along the easy, light, beautiful, nourishing, sustaining energy of Love. It’s certainly the path of least resistance. And the path of Love is always wide open.

Your Person

“You are the most perfect you, there is” – Meraki (Etsy)

Think of the most wonderful person in the world, to you (or your pet or your family group or your friend group, or your God, just think of the most meaningful relationship(s) of love to you, that you have in your life). Think about how much you love that person, you admire that person, you care for that person, you treasure that person, you feel gratitude for that person, you feel beyond lucky beyond belief, to have that person in your life. Feel all of those wonderful feelings that just the thought of that person brings into your heart. Feel how much you light up around that person. Feel how secure and comforted you feel around that person. Think about all of the kind things that you do for that person to take care of that person and show them how much you love them. Think of all of the lovely things you have said to that person, all of the lovely things that you have done for that person, how much you consider the thoughts and actions and feelings of that person. Think of all of the kind things that you say to that person, to uplift them and to cheer them up when they are down. Think about all of the wonderful things and experiences and happiness that you want for that person. Think about how much time and energy and thought, you put into that person. Your person(s). Your familia. Your heart.

Now, just for today, try letting “your person”, be you. Today, “your person” is yourself. Treat yourself to all of the love and admiration and care and adoration and gratitude and pride and comfort, that you typically feel and give to “your person.” Realize, the true and amazing fact, that all of the love and admiration and care and adoration and gratitude and pride and comfort that you give to others, doesn’t go away when you give the same to yourself. No, in fact, all of this wonderfulness, will be amplified because you won’t be needy or full of expectations or full of resentments towards others in your life. You will be satiated with the love which you are craving, the love which you are often trying to get outside of yourself. If today, you allow yourself to be “your person”, you will find that you are so full of love and peace, that these feelings can’t help but to over-spill on to everyone you meet.

Just for today, just for experiment’s sake, allow yourself to be “your person.” When you catch yourself being mean or neglectful or judg-y or demanding or demeaning to yourself, apologize immediately – just as you would do for your “your person” when you have hurt them. Then do something nice for yourself, for reparations – just as you would do for “your person.” Compliment yourself. Thank yourself. When you make a choice or decision today, ask yourself if this choice is one that you would make for “your person,” with their best interests at heart. When you feel yourself in need of advice, ask yourself what advice you would give to “your person” in this situation? When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, just as you would do for “your person”. Don’t admonish yourself, endlessly. Help yourself to do better, as you would do for “your person” . When you feel yourself feeling scared or down or lonely or sad or angry, cheer yourself up, like you would do for “your person.” Empathize with yourself. Don’t dismiss your feelings. Be kind to yourself just like you are kind to “your person.” Let yourself feel and visualize holding yourself, just as you would do for “your person.” Protect yourself, like you would protect “your person”, from cruel people and negative places and experiences.

Today, be real with yourself. Be authentic. Be as you are. You know that you love “your person” authentically, “flaws” and all, because the totality of “your person” and the intimate knowledge of that totality, is what makes you so close to “your person.” You know and accept “your person” like no one else does. Today, be that “knower” of yourself, and accept yourself completely and totally. Give yourself this great gift. If “your person”, asked you for this genuine love and acceptance, you would say, “Honey, you had me at hello. The gift is already yours.” Give yourself the pure and freely given gift of total love and acceptance that you give to “your person”, just for today.

Try this experiment, just for today. What have you got to lose? Today “your person” is you. I think that maybe if all of us did this experiment a little bit more and a little bit more, we’d be surprised about how much better our lives would get, individually, and collectively. Love is infinite. Love has infinite supply. Love is. Why would we deny something for ourselves, that by its very definition is infinite? We have put up the barriers, we have closed the doors, and we have created the false conditions. Love hasn’t done any of that. Love just waits patiently, surrounding us, waiting for us to wake up from the illusion that we don’t deserve, what we already have.

Love “your person” today, with all of your heart. Love “your person” today with everything you have. Today, your person is you and you deserve real Love.

Soul Sunday

Mother's Day Salute to Stepmothers | Happy mothers day meme ...

Thank you, Mom, for bringing me into this world and raising me. Thank you to my mother-in-law for raising the man whom I adore. Thank you to all of the women and female forces in my life, who have helped to mother me, and to nourish me, and to protect me, and to help me to evolve to become even more of me. Thank you, my beautiful children, for allowing me to be your mother. It is my greatest privilege and purpose. I am filled with love and gratitude and awe for all of you.

Readers, Sundays are dedicated to poetry here a Adulting – Second Half. On Sundays, we share poetry. I share a poem that I, or someone else has written and I love it when you share your poems in the Comments section. Poetry gives us freedom in words. The rules are loose, the emotion is at the surface, and yet mystery flows. There are no critiques here. We are just sharing our intimate selves through word song. Try your hand at poetry. It’s asking to be released from your heart. Here’s my offering for today:

The Bouquet

The bouquet has been delivered.

It’s in your hands. It’s in your care.

The blooms are so easy to love, yet there are some thorns to contend with.

Underneath the facade of it all.

In the right light, the bouquet looks so lovely, so perfectly, harmonically put together.

A song in a vase.

Yet sometimes it’s a tangled mess.

And it fades and withers and drops leaves.

It was never meant to last forever,

but if you hold on to the cherished moment . . .

the time when the flowers came into your arms, and you couldn’t stop

lovingly gazing at their beautiful sight.

You remember that their blooms came from seeds,

And the seeds hold all of the mysteries of Life.

And the blooming never ever ends, even when the vase is empty.

The blooms carry on in infinite fields of color and growth,

Season after season after season.

The bouquet was just a captured moment.

A reminder of what is eternal.

Love.

Soul Sunday

Hello dear friends! Watch this adorable video of tiny twin boys discussing germs and quarantine. It will warm your heart and I dare you not to laugh:

https://twitter.com/i/status/1241262775248269312

My regular readers know that Sundays are dedicated to poetry. I encourage you to use this forum as a poetry workshop. I usually share a poem that I have written and I ask my readers to share their poems in the Comments section. If you never thought that you had time before to try your hand at writing poetry, now you do. The world needs more beautiful, soul opening, heart touching poetry more than ever before. Please share your heart here, with us. It did strike me, the other day, that if ever there was a time for everyone to fully realize how much we actually LOVE each other, it is now. We have shut down our entire way of being and living, to protect the most vulnerable and the most aged among us. We have shut down, unitedly and globally, how we live, to protect the bravest and the most brilliant among us, who are working feverishly at finding us a cure and at healing as many people as they can, from this terrible scourge that is upon us. We have narrowed our living experience down to what is the fundamentally most important to us, letting all of the other less important pieces fall to the ground, as they may. I think that we have our priorities straight. See how the world is responding to this virus, and know just how much you are LOVED. I am LOVED. We are LOVED and WE ARE LOVE . In the end, it is LOVE that sustains us all. I didn’t write today’s poem. I saw it on Twitter, written by a person who calls themselves, Mr. Jones. Stay well, friends. Here is the beautiful poem:

History will remember when

the world stopped

And the flights stayed on

the ground.

And the cars parked in the

street.

And the trains didn’t run.

History will remember when

the schools closed

And the children stayed

indoors

And the medical staff walked

towards the fire

And they didn’t run.

History will remember when

the people sang

On their balconies, in

isolation

But so very much together

In courage and song

History will remember when

the people fought

for their old and their weak

Protected their vulnerable

By doing nothing at all.

History will remember when

the virus left

And the houses opened

And the people came out

And hugged and kissed

And started again

Kinder than before.

Trader Joe Knows

RIP – Joe Coulombe, the original creator of Trader Joe’s

I didn’t know anything about Joe Coulombe, until today, as word of his passing at the age of 89, has hit the internet. I have always loved shopping at Trader Joe’s. (unfortunately, where we live now, doesn’t have a Trader Joe’s store very close by, but even my kids have been praying that one opens up, closer to us, soon, because the experience of shopping at Trader Joe’s is always so incredibly unique and fun and uplifting) What I read today, about Joe and his family, made me, in one part, wish that I had known more about him and others like him, while he was still alive, versus all of the stupid gossip which I could recite about current trendy celebrities, royals and reality stars. However, in second part, I also achieved a lasting smile – a big soothing, internal, happy grin, with the realization that there are a lot of good people like Joe Coulombe doing so much to add to the goodness and the happiness of our collective living experience. We rarely to never hear anything about these people, but they are surrounding us, and elevating us, and loving us and loving life, and they don’t need any praise or notoriety for making the world a happier, better place. These people are the majority of us, friends. Joe Coulombe set out to create a grocery store for the overeducated, underpaid among us, much like his in-laws, who were academics. Before Joe died, a local Pasadena, CA newspaper printed this article about Joe Coulombe and his wife of 67 years, Alice:

“Joe and his wife Alice are entirely lovely people, still very much part of the social fabric of Pasadena, great supporters of the musical arts. But quiet about it. Joe came to a Star-News evening seminar teaching readers the ins and outs of Facebook a couple of years ago, and I doubt anyone else there but me even knew who he was — the creator of one of the most imaginative business ideas of the late 20th century. He saw the tremendous demand created for fresh, non-preservative-filled food by Americans who, thanks to the 747, could finally afford to visit Europe. His famous quote about his ideal customer: “An unemployed Ph.D.” “

Joe graduated from Stanford, was raised on an avocado ranch, served in the Air Force, raised three children with his college sweetheart, Alice and enjoyed six grandchildren with her. As the article said, he and his wife are “entirely lovely people.” When I was perusing Twitter, there were hundreds, if not thousands, of people thanking Joe for their favorite Trader Joe’s staple foods. As Debra French Bloom on Twitter stated about Joe: Joe created a “grocery store, a culture, a destination.” As I am writing this, my husband and my daughter are outside, putting up a hammock that she has been wanting. She was home with the flu yesterday and he wants her to feel better, so he bought her the hammock and they are playfully trying it out, giggly at each other’s graceless attempts to enter the cocoon of the hammock. My husband, my daughter and I (in spy mode), are having an “entirely lovely moment” and my heart is swollen with joy. Friends, the world is FULL of entirely lovely people (you are among them), sharing entirely lovely moments, in an entirely lovely space on Earth. Yes, there are problems, there are pains, there are things to fear and to grieve, but mostly, mostly, our collective world is an ENTIRELY LOVELY PLACE, when we really focus on the love that surrounds us and holds us and inspires us and sustains us and connects us. Like Joe, that love doesn’t scream for our attention. It’s “quiet about it.” Perhaps it doesn’t have to scream for attention, because it is contented in being. It is contented in being Love. It is contented in the knowing that Love itself, is what Life is really all about.

RIP – Trader Joe. Thank you for the reminder of all of the wholesomeness and goodness and fun and abundance that life has to offer.

3 Good Things

Warning: This scene requires a very accessible box of tissues. I don’t watch the TV show “New Amsterdam”, but this scene was recommended for me to watch, by a friend. I was overwhelmed. I then passed it on to a group of friends. After watching the scene, we kind of all spontaneously told each other why we loved each other, and we all talked about things/traits/characteristics that had NOTHING to do with what we do for each other. It was a poignant, vulnerable, yet amazingly wonderful, beautiful time in our friendships’ history.

Too often we all think that we have worth in other people’s eyes, only for what we do (or can do) for them. We think we only have value for what we can provide for other people and thus, we get all of our self-worth externally, which is so unhealthy. Think about it. Often what we love most about the other important people in our lives, are their quirks, their unique personality traits that make them shine, their talents, their way they go about “doing life” that is so very particular to that one individual, yet so inspiring to the rest of us. We love and appreciate the kindness and the vulnerability that the people who we love show to us, by sharing their very real, core selves with us.

On our girls’ weekend, a few weeks ago, one of my friends said something to the effect that she has NO idea what her friends think of her. At the moment, no one was in a sappy mood, so the comment probably got met with some snarky, clever sarcasm and we all probably got a big laugh out of it all. Still, the truth is, it is so much easier to poke fun at our friends and loved ones, than to bare our souls, and to bravely tell them, honestly, why they are so incredibly special to us. But maybe, just maybe, the people whom we love, deserve to hear that lovely truth about themselves every once in a while. It would make me sad to think that my husband, my children, my relatives and my friends (and even my pets) would think that I only love them for what they do for me.

When I was a third grader, I had an incredibly kind teacher. She’s one of those teachers who will stand out to me, forever. She was a life-changer. Her name was Mrs. Simmerman. Every week, she would put one of our names on the Bulletin Board and throughout the week, we students would write anonymous, yet kind words and statements about what we thought was so special about that particular classmate. When the week was over, Mrs. Simmerman would read all of the kind, loving, interesting things written about the student and then, the student got to take home and to keep that particular poster, listing all the amazing traits about themselves. Whomever’s week it was to be focused on/loved on, seemed to have an extra spring in his or her step, and a little bit of a puffed out chest that week. Being cared about and being really noticed and seen and appreciated, made not just that particular student, but all of us students, very, very happy.

I think all of this mushy mush, is just a great reminder that we truly LOVE people for WHO they are, not just for what they do. We are all just unique enough to add a ray of life and color and thread, to this world which we are co-creating, that no one else even has the capability to match. We are all indispensable to the whole, and sometimes it is nice to be reminded why we are invaluable to this Life which we live, and we create together. As you think about why you love the people whom you love and you cherish, remember that they feel the very same way about you and your gifts to the world, in just you being, uniquely you.

Fortune for the Day – “When you possess light within, you see it externally.” – Anais Nin

Template for Being

My friend sent this to our group chat this morning. I am going to make this my “template for being”, for the rest of 2020. This is the perfect year to become your own best friend. One time when I was muddling around with a tough decision, one of my dear friends said to me, “What advice would you give to me, in this situation?” That was a huge perspective changer. I am much softer, kinder, more compassionate, forgiving and understanding with my friends and my family, than I tend to be with myself. We work hard to be “good” in relationships, but we often leave the most important relationship out of that equation. Our most important relationship is with ourselves. No one will be with us longer, on this Earth. And if that statement still feels/sounds/seems too “selfish” understand that it follows that we cannot love others any better than we love ourselves. Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves. I am guessing that Jesus wanted us to love our neighbors a whole lot better, than the conditional, demeaning, cold, harsh way that we sometimes treat ourselves. It also follows that if we don’t learn to love ourselves, we are starving for love, so we try to suck it dry from other people/things/experiences outside of ourselves. We soon find that our neediness, or that “giving to get”, doesn’t work in the long term, and we start resenting the very people and objects we claim to love, and thus, a vicious cycle continues.

Be your own best friend for the rest of this year. Make a Valentines pact to fall in love with yourself. When you listen to your inner critic, ask yourself, “Would I speak to my best friend this way?” When you make a health/life/relationship choice, ask yourself, “Would I advise my best friend make this choice?” When you give the gift of time, money or service, ask yourself, “Is my motivation to give here, clearly altruistic, or am I secretly trying to manipulate getting one of my needs met from outside sources (and if so, can I find a way to meet these needs myself)? Am I keeping expectations chained to this “gift”?” When you let other people dictate how your life should go/be/look like, ask yourself, “Would I want my best friend to give his or her power away? Would I want my best friend to be a victim?” People don’t realize that if we all experienced our own lives, acting as our own best friends, the world would be a happier, healthier, more loving, giving place than it has ever been before. The following verse from the Bible is read to us at practically every wedding that we ever attend. Try to look at it in the context of loving yourself. It takes on a whole, interesting new meaning and depth, doesn’t it?

No fortune for today, pure Love is our greatest fortune.