labrador retriever Archives - Adulting: Second- Half

Sentimental Friday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lE428ovk0Uk

Good morning! Happy Friday!! I’ve already been to the vet and back for Ralphie’s annual physical. That’s never fun for neither he nor me. A 99-pound (yes, he has to go on a diet again), nervous, energetic, drooling labrador retriever does not make for the best car partner. If you ever want to make sure that your adult kids are still alive, just text them something about the family pets. You’ll hear from them all immediately. When I texted Ralphie’s exam report, our three sons made fun of his weight gain, and our daughter texted a sentimental picture of Ralphie and my husband in a creek, looking like the cover of a Cabela’s catalog. Speaking of sentimental, you may have already watched my favorite for today. The commercial above is a commercial by Publix, which is our local grocery store chain. I don’t think that I have ever watched any Publix commercials without at least choking up. (the Thanksgiving ones are killers) And I think that the commercial above has to be one of Publix’s best. This commercial is my favorite thing, this Favorite Things Friday on the blog. We don’t have any step-parents in our family or in our extended family, but as a mother of four, I have witnessed many kind and wonderful step-parents of my kids’ friends and I am in awe of them. It is often a thankless position. Watching a good step-parent in action is a real witness of unconditional love, without expecting anything in return. If you are a loving step-parent, bless you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You make the world a better place.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday Funday

Our Labrador retriever, Ralphie, spent a lot of time with us in the pool this weekend. He’s now an interesting shade of yellow-green. Ralphie is definitely “that blonde kid on the swim team.” You can’t miss the fact that he loves to swim.

There are two quotes that stood out for me, from my weekend reading. They are by the same author, Ehime Ora:

“Today will be an easy day if you let it be. Try not to spiral in your thoughts. Not everything that you think is true.”

“You deserve peace in your life, not just low stress. There’s a difference.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Welcome to poetry day on the blog. I hope that you will try to write yourself a poem today. It’s fun. It’s relaxing in the way that things which take total concentration are relaxing. Writing poetry focuses your wild, distractible, meandering mind. I wrote today’s poem in honor of Ralphie, our Labrador retriever, who has come down with Limp Tail Syndrome (it’s a thing – look it up). He’ll be alright. It’s similar to when we roll our ankles. Still, it is sad for us, to see him sad.

Limp Tail Syndrome

They say it comes from swimming too much,

It came from doing your greatest love.

It stole your wag. It stole your grin.

Your body can’t smile in your wiggly way

with the big wet soppy toy in your mouth.

It will pass. All things do. But now

Your body just grimaces and growls,

And your tail hangs limp.

You wear your emotions on your whole body,

Not just a sleeve. You don’t hide anything.

You are the embodiment of life, breath and love,

And joy and pain and listless agitation.

You are so fully you, always and ever.

Soon your sprightly tail will wag again.

Easy, light, high and fast and free and happy.

Your tail never hangs limp for long.

It’s not in your nature to be kept down.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Free Range Adults

Every first of the month, I go to Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone. Susan Miller has been doing astrology for a long, long time, and without fail, on the first day of every month, she writes a little excuse as to why the horoscopes aren’t ready yet. I can’t remember the last time the monthly horoscopes were ready to be read on the morning of the first day of any said month. Today’s excuse was a headline, highlighted in green. And I laugh to myself, as I wonder why Susan Miller even bothers to write excuses. First of all, her monthly horoscopes are FREE. She doesn’t owe me, or any other reader, jack doodle. And when the monthly horoscopes finally do appear (usually within the first few days of the month), they are delightful to read. They are thoughtful, usually 5-7 pages long, replete with a summary, in case you don’t have time to read 5-7 pages, and you just want some highlights. So convenient! If I went to Astrology Zone this morning, expecting my horoscope to be prepared to be read today, that’s on me. And if I feel disappointed that it isn’t ready, my disappointment was caused by my unrealistic expectation, not by Susan Miller. If you have a friend who is always late to things, adjust your expectations. You can try to express your concern with your friend’s tardiness with them, but if this direct communication doesn’t work, you must make adjustments. Adjust the time you show up for meetings with this friend, or even decide that your frustration is not worth meeting one-on-one with this person. Decide that you’ll just see this person at celebrations or gatherings which include other people whom you can mingle with, until the tardy person saunters in. If we can learn to be realistic about our own expectations and what we actually have control over, a lot of our angst can be solved for us. And honestly, excuses are useless.

And in other news, I went to our veterinarians’ office yesterday, to pick up our 81- pound Labrador retriever’s prescription diet kibble. (Actually, we found out that this is Ralphie’s ideal weight. He was hovering around 100 pounds during COVID lockdown. I am seriously considering going on this kibble diet myself. I could stand to lose my pandemic weight gain, and this is a prepackaged, no need to cook, easy diet plan. Yes, it’s true. This kibble gets more and more enticing every single day that jeans-wearing weather gets closer on the calendar.) Our awesome veterinarians are a married couple, who are about the same ages as me and my husband. The wife saw me picking up the food, and asked me how things are going with me. I told her that we just officially became empty nesters. Dr. Sarah (as she is fondly known) is a bubbly, smart, energetic, Hispanic woman. She got animated and her eyes lit up, when I mentioned empty nesting. “Ah yes! We are now empty nesters, too! It’s so peaceful and quiet and our house stays clean and neat and we are going on a trip this weekend, just the two of us. I feel kind of guilty saying this, but I am kinda liking this empty nest.” I smiled at her knowingly. “No need for guilt, Dr. Sarah. I feel the exact same way.” And as we each talked excitedly about our weekend plans, the receptionist, whose kids are in elementary school, gave us both the side-eyed stink-eye.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Dog Days

So, in my family, it isn’t just me who gained some unwanted weight from the pandemic experience. It turns out that our Labrador retriever, Ralphie, desperately needs to go on a diet, according to our veterinarian. She decided to make that very clear to me, by printing out and showing me his weight gain graph chart, over the years. When I showed it to my husband, he said, “Well, if that was one of our stocks, I would be ecstatic.”

Ralphie, currently 100 pounds, needs to lose 20-25 pounds. We bought the diet food, the diet treats, and we got the “official” plastic Dixie cup to measure out the measly morsels of diet food. Ralphie is a world champion eater. Ralphie is a world champion beggar. Ralphie is our second Roomba. This experience is going to be interesting and challenging, to the say the least. And just like Weight Watchers, we have to take Ralphie into the vet’s office, for regular “weigh ins.”

I said to my veterinarian, “I don’t understand. Ralphie exercises a lot. He swims all of the time. We take him on long walks daily.”

She answered, “He’s like me. I exercise all of the time, too. When I am not here at the office, you’ll find me at the gym. There’s only one thing that I like more than exercise, and that is food.” And then she patted her cute little tummy for emphasis.

I guess the good thing is that Ralphie is at the mercy of what we feed him. I thought to myself, if I can control what Ralphie eats, I should be able to do the same thing for myself. (in theory) Honestly, I plan (or at least I am giving it serious consideration) to be Ralphie’s “Diet Buddy.” Ralphie and I are typically “happy go lucky” family members, but with both of us watching what we are eating, things could get ugly, really quick. I’ll just ask for your forgiveness in advance, if things get a bit stingy on the blog.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Happy Furthday!!!

Josie (collie, who turns 3 today): It’s our shared birthday today, dear Ralphie! May I be the first to wish the both of us, a very lovely and Happy Birthday! (prim, beautiful and alert with white-tipped tail swishing, like an overgrown, elegant fox)

Ralphie (yellow Labrador retriever, who turns 4 today): Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! (jumping around and licking everything in sight, hitting a few notes on the piano with his chin and leaving some dog slime on the keys, grabbing a now formless/headless toy and running around the house with it, tail going like a helicopter blade)

Trip (Boykin spaniel, who is a little over a year old): Treats!!! Does this mean treats?!? Does this mean lots of treats?!? Does this mean extra treats?!? Huh?? Huh?? Huh?? (springboards off of the couch and exuberantly and fearlessly jumps on top of Ralphie, despite $600+ dollars worth of training to stop this behavior, so as to not be mauled by Ralphie, a large dog who has 70 pounds on him, and a huge retriever mouth, full of sharp, white teeth. Ralphie, despite having a saint-like amount of patience, has shown that even a Labrador retriever’s renowned patience has its worldly, and understandable limits.)

Camera pans on Ralphie, the yellow Lab, dreaming of what his perfect birthday would look like: Ralphie, swimming in the pool from dusk to dawn, with his whole pack, humans and dogs, all swimming with him, and throwing his disgusting, wet, soggy toy into the pool endlessly for him to retrieve at the surface, and even from the bottom of the pool, and then clapping for him, enthusiastically, each time, as if we have never seen him do this 800,000 times before. Ralphie only comes out of the pool once, for a whole, hot, delicious steak, fresh off the grill, without even having to beg for it.

Camera then pans on Josie, the elegant collie, dreaming of what her perfect birthday would look like: A day when herding Ralphie, while he is swimming in the the pool would not be necessary, because Ralphie would not be in the pool. A day that the squirrels stay in their own nests, in the neighbor’s yard, far, far way, so that she does not have to worry about those icky, little squirrels dirtying up our trees and our lawn. A day when there will be no deliveries from Amazon Prime, so she can save her voice. A day when Trip would stand still long enough, so that she could tidy him up, licking him carefully, as if they were both Fancy Feast Persian cats. Josie, enjoying a long, long, long wonderful walk with no kids roller skating nor skateboarding on the sidewalks, to disturb her peace and comfort.

Trip, the boisterous Boykin spaniel: F*ck birthdays! I do whatever I want to do, every day!! Give me another treat!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Working on My Alpha

I mentioned that we added a new fur member to the family a few weeks ago. Little Trip, the Boykin spaniel, has implanted himself into our hearts and into our pack. Still, adding a new member to the family pack is a process, and despite doing it many, many times over the years, adding kids and pets into the mix, every few years or so, I was a little out of practice and my dogs showed me that I needed to “get my alpha back.”

Most pet owners understand the theory, that as much as we try to turn our pets into people, by putting them in clothes and walking them around in strollers, reality is, animals are animals, dogs are dogs, and dogs feel most secure when their “pack” is lead by a strong, alpha pack leader, who keeps everyone in their place, with a kind, but firm countenance.

A good alpha isn’t a screamer and yeller. No, a good alpha leader is always in control of himself or herself and leads by example. A good, strong alpha can keep everyone in the pack, in line, with one firm stare. A good alpha is captain of a well run ship and always has that ship pointed in the right direction.

Josie, our collie, understood right away how to make it clear to Trip, the puppy, that she was an alpha over him. From the get go, she made the rules very clear, about what was going to fly and what wasn’t going to fly with her. Josie and Trip bonded almost immediately because Trip clearly understood where he stood (way below) with her. So, about a week into things, Josie and Trip were playing together, sleeping together and he would dutifully stand, for as long as Josie deemed necessary, for a good “lick down” when Josie felt that Trip needed a good cleaning – a tongue sponge bath, so to speak. Josie has become a good cross between Mary Poppins and Nurse Ratchet with Trip, and he respects her greatly. It is safe to say that they have a healthy bond.

Now, Ralph, our Labrador retriever and I, did not start out on the right foot with the puppy. We essentially let Trip walk all over us (as witnessed in the picture above). We did not set up our standards and our expectations, straight out from the beginning and we were allowing a tiny eight pound puppy, to be the alpha of us. Noticing that I was allowing a little puppy to call a lot of the shots, appeared to make Ralph, our Labrador retriever, feel somewhat insecure (some would say jealous, and that might have been part of it, but for a dog, with pack mentality, insecure is even a worse feeling than jealousy). If a twerp-y fur baby was ruling one of the main alphas of the pack, what did that mean for the welfare of our pack overall? Ralph’s patience was running very thin with the puppy, and one night, very uncharacteristic of Ralph, he let his evil dark twin make a rare showing, which quickly woke me up to the fact that if I wanted our pack to be a peaceful, happy family, I would have to get “my alpha” back into working order.

In the process of quickly re-establishing law and order in my household, it struck me how important it is for we women to remember that we must be the alphas of our own lives. A good alpha is calm, knows what she will accept and won’t accept, and has high standards for herself and for others, who want to be part of her life. Yesterday, I was watching a interesting Zoom call, which my husband’s company produced, discussing race relations. In the call, a very dynamic and impressive black woman, called white women out, challenging us to “use our power and our privilege” for good. Honestly, it felt good to be reminded that I am powerful. And that I can use the power that I have for good, in my family, in my community and in my country.

We can learn from every experience that we go through, if we open our eyes to the fact that we still have a lot to learn. My dogs have been my best teachers these last few weeks and I’m so grateful to them, once again. It feels good to feel my alpha rising in me again. She is strong and powerful and wise and kind, and she knows how to lead me through life, the best. We are all feeling more secure around here these days, most especially, me.

Fur- riday

Hello readers and friends!! Hello Friday is right!! New readers, Fridays are fun here at Adulting – Second Half. We call them “Favorite Things Friday”. I keep things on the light and bright and I typically list around three things, ideas, websites, songs, etc. that I recommend highly. I also highly encourage you to give us some of your favorites in the Comments section. Please also see previous Friday listings for more favorites to make your Friday even more fabulous than it already is . . . . here we go:

Farmhouse Culture Ginger Beet Gut Shots – Let me preface this by saying, I hate beets. I don’t like the taste of this concoction at all. My husband and I drink this in one full swoop, from shot glasses every morning and I pinch my nose. (this is the only kind of shot that we can still handle at our ages) However, the key word here is “gut”. This liquid really, really does help with digestion and making your stomach feel good. I like me a happy tummy! My husband first discovered this at Costco. I have since bought it at Earth Fare. It’s not cheap, but a little goes a long way. So, these gut shots have now been added to our daily regiment of the other 6,592 supplements we take on a daily basis. (recently my husband asked into the air, “I wonder which of all of this stuff actually works?”)

RecoverT Wrap Bracelets – I found these bracelets at a local art fair and I love them, and I’ve given them away and I always find a reason to buy more of them. Wrap bracelets are something that I wear almost on a daily basis and these are particularly neat. Most of them have charms that have uplifting words, prayers, scripture or symbols on them. The braided cords are made out of colorful recycled t-shirts, so the bracelets are pliable and easy to wrap around your wrist as many times as you need to do it. The best part about the bracelets is that they are created by women in recovery. The shop is found on Etsy and this is their motto: We are “Recycling T-shirts and Recovering Lives”.

Erno Laszlo White Marble Dual Phase Vitamin C Peel – Okay, this stuff is pretty pricey. However, a little bit goes a long way and the difference in your skin, especially right after you use it, is truly remarkable. I’m forever wanting the skin that I see on people which looks like it was just taken out of the package and put on their faces, that very morning. You know what I mean – “the shiny, happy people look.” I don’t mean shiny like sweaty, I mean shiny, like brand-spanking-new and sparkly. This at-home product really helps to take your skin in that direction and it does not burn or sting.

A week ago, when my eldest son came home for his brother’s graduation, our Labrador retriever, Ralphie, discovered our eldest son, early in the morning, still asleep in his bed. (my son had gotten in really late the night before and Ralphie was already asleep in his crate at that time) I’ve never seen Ralphie more joyously happy than in the moment that he discovered that our son had come home. His tail was wagging so hard that it was swinging his hips, back and forth, like a pendulum. He kept jumping up and down in mid-air. He licked my son’s face like it was the last T-bone steak on Earth. Ralphie kept looking back at me, like he was saying, “Mom, do you see who it is?!?! He’s back!! He’s back!! Can you believe it?!?” Ralphie got three toys in his mouth at once and offered them up to my son, like they were gold, frankincense and myrrh. Ralphie perfectly portrayed everything that I was feeling in my heart. I say this story to remind myself to live and love with reckless abandon. Have a Ralphie kind of Friday, friends! Heck, have a Ralphie kind of a weekend, if you dare!! See you tomorrow.

K-9

I hate to bombard you with dog stories, readers and friends, but hey, this is my life. This is my blog. And I have two dogs. I had to write this story down to help me to process, review and understand this unsettling true event that just happened to me. Yesterday, I took my dogs for a walk. I haven’t missed a walk with my dogs since I wrote Ralphie’s Revenge, for obvious reasons. (see previous blog post)

To give you some background, let me introduce you to my dogs. We have an adolescent male Labrador retriever named Ralphie, who might as well be named “Marley.” He’s textbook lab – high energy, HIGH energy, and overwhelmingly friendly. Ralphie is NOT at all clued in, as to when people and other dogs aren’t particularly friendly or into his friendliness and boundless energy. Finally, Ralphie is certainly not aware of his own strength. We also recently adopted a beautiful, sweet eight-month-old rough collie puppy named Josie. Josie spent her formative puppy months on a remote farm. We are trying to work with her, for her to realize “Josie, you’re not in Kansas anymore.” Actually, Josie’s from Wisconsin, but it’s the same idea. I think that she thinks that suburban Florida is akin to New York City. Josie is still getting used to anything louder and stranger than crickets. The thing about collies is that they have very skinny heads and long snouts. They humor you when they wear a collar. A collar is just “for show” when it comes to collies. Josie (as did our previous collie, Lacey) has the Houdini-like ability to slide out of her collar in seconds flat, no matter how tight you think you have it on her. I think choke collars would be pointless on collies. So the other day, when an older man got a little too close to us when we were walking, while he was driving a wee bit wobbly on his bike, Josie pulled out her collar instantly and I was left with a limp leash and an invisible dog at the end of it.

So yesterday, I was peacefully walking along with our dogs and I decided to take a side street, where I don’t typically walk along. I was enjoying myself and I just wanted to shake things up a bit. I was lost deep in thought, when out of nowhere, from a big, wide side yard, bounds an enormous German Shepherd. Now, I think German Shepherds are beautiful and in the right hands, they are probably fabulous family dogs. However, I have baggage. My husband still has a scar from being bit by a German Shepherd as a kid and I, myself, was bit by a German Shepherd right on my derriere, when leaving a small country gas station. I think that the shepherd didn’t realize that I DID pay for my gas. I am not a good Alpha when it comes to dogs. If we had a German Shepherd, or a Doberman or a Pit Bull, the first time it would show its teeth, even as a puppy, I would happily hand over, to the puppy, my house keys, and my car keys. I would offer to sleep in the garage, eat kibble, and give the puppy my steak. There is a good reason why we have a lab and a collie. They fit my temperament.

Anyway, in the split second that the ginormous German Shepherd is bounding towards us, I am flashing forward in my mind, to what I thought was going to happen. Ralphie was going to go into insane, overwhelmingly annoying mode and he was going to overpower my grip on his lead and break free. Josie was going to go into Houdini mode and quickly become fast-moving prey as she ran free from her collar, the leash and the frightening scene. Some way or another, I was going to become the German Shepherd’s dinner, trying to salvage me and my dogs. So, I started screaming loudly, “Hello!!!! Help!!! Help!!! Hello!!!” to try to preempt what was bound to happen.

Well, what actually did happen was really quite different than I had imagined. And part of me thinks that the way that I imagined it happening may have been a better, and certainly, a much less embarrassing outcome.

The German Shepherd stopped right at the edge of the yard and looked at me quizzically, as I screamed maniacally. He then turned his head back and looked at a big, huge, stern looking, macho man for direction as to what he should do about the crazy lady. The man appeared from behind a large white Bronco that I then noticed had the words, “Sheriff K-9” painted on it. So, it was just another day, on the job, dealing with high-strung crazies, for this police officer and his trusty K-9 . . . .

“Really, ma’am?!? Really?!? It’s okay,” is the what the perturbed man said to me.

I was truly horrified and mortified and everything-fied.

“I’m so sorry, officer. I’m sorry. I’m not crazy,” I stammered. “My labrador can sometimes be a big pain-in-the-ass and I was just concerned that he might trigger your dog.”

“Yes, labs (he said “labs” kind of pointedly, like he was really thinking something else) CAN be a pain-in-the-ass,” is what the police officer said to me and he looked at me and kind of sighed, probably sizing up what kind of risk I was to myself, or to my dogs or to the neighborhood. He then called his smart, Chewbacca-like companion to the Bronco and I quickened my pace home.

I’m not sure what the meaning or moral of this whole event was to me, or if there really even is, any kind of meaning or moral. I’m just happy that it’s over. And I am truly grateful for our wonderful police officers and our amazing police dogs, from the bottom of my heart. They have to put up with a lot, even when they are off-duty.

Ralphie’s Revenge

On Thursday, I didn’t take my usual, several miles long walk with our dogs. It started out as a rainy day and I wanted to get errands done, but also, I wanted to escape a little bit, to get away from the mundane – to get the “hell out of Dodge”, so to speak. Ralphie, our Labrador retriever, doesn’t, at all, appreciate when we miss a daily walk. He can’t speak, so he lets his anger and frustration be known, in other ways.

As my husband and I settled down on the couch, to watch The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Thursday evening, Ralphie eyed us carefully and deliberately, up and down. He then went to his toy tub and carefully chose one of his stuffed animals. I think that Ralphie purposely picked out the newest, cutest one. He brought the stuffed animal behind the couch, where we were sitting, and he slowly and methodically, tore the poor, little, helpless stuffie, into a million little pieces. Ralphie made sure that we heard the seams ripping, and the fabric shredding effortlessly, in the clutches of his powerful jaws and sharp teeth. I tried to pretend like I didn’t notice. I feigned indifference, but I was admittedly, very relieved when Ralphie’s tooth finally pierced the poor little toy’s squeaker and I no longer had to hear its wailing squeals. Friday morning, I had a huge massacre of stuffing and crinkly paper and cloth carcass to clean up, having been mercilessly spread, all over the floor. Ralphie left the murder scene as a warning, I am sure. I couldn’t stop flashing back in my mind, to that horse head scene in the Godfather movie.

Friday, I took the dogs on a long, long walk. Ralphie, by the way, is a Dudley Labrador retriever. Dudley labs are yellow labs with pinkish-brown noses and lips, as opposed to black noses. A woman asked me about his coloring once. I told her that Ralphie is a Dudley lab. She thought that I had said that Ralphie was a “deadly lab.” When we figured out the miscommunication, we both laughed and I said, “I don’t think that there is such thing as a deadly lab!” Now . . . . I’m not so sure.