Tag: inspiration

Whimsies for Wednesday

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(credit Rex Masters – Twitter)

+ My daughter has a summer internship at a local credit union. She came home with a stomach bug Monday night. She’s fine now, thankfully. In fact, she’s back to work today, but we were all kind of surprised by her illness. If there was any upside to this pandemic mess, it was that none of us, living and working at our house, came down with flus or colds or any other viruses for over a year. They say that paper money carries a lot of filth on it. I believe it. She’s only been working there a couple of weeks now.

+ I read an article that was talking about why it is so hard for many of us to figure out our purpose(s) in life. The article, taken from an excerpt from a book by Kristine Klussman, says that we get tripped up by three erroneous beliefs about “purpose.” The first mistake, is that we think that our purpose has to be grand and noble and all-reaching. The facts are, we don’t all have to be (nor are we going to be) Gandi, or Martin Luther King Jr., or Florence Nightingale. It’s all of the gazillions of parts that make a whole. Just being and doing our own little gazillionth, is enough and serves its purpose. Secondly, we have the false belief that we just have one singular purpose. Anyone of us, who is a parent, knows that this premise is false. My purpose in parenting has been to raise healthy, happy, productive members of society. My purpose in parenting has been to experience a love like I have never known. My purpose in parenting has been to continue and to carry on the good parts of my heritage, and to heal and to change the parts of my heritage that I found to be harmful. (Right there, I have listed three purposes in my life, and that’s just under the subset of “parenting”.) Finally, we think that our purposes have to be “forever.” Why? If the only constant is change, and we are all evolving in an ever-evolving world, does it not make sense that we will have different purposes in different stages of our lives? There is some real satisfaction in working through a project, or an experience, or a career, and being able to say, “My work is done here.” This feeling of completion allows us to open doors to other purposes in our lives, as we go on. Variety is the spice of life.

+ We all are so good at writing to-do lists. I read something this week that said to end your day with a “ta-da! list”, which lists everything that you got done, during the day. Even if it is just doing a load of laundry, and cleaning some dishes, you did these chores! You didn’t have to do anything. You could have just been a “bump on a log.” Ta Da! You got things done. What a great way to end your day on a positive note.

+ Finally, here’s a perspective changer. The universe is almost 13.8 billion years old. Any of us will be lucky to reach 100 years of age. We humans are not very old, and frankly, in the scheme of things, we are not all that important. I think that Anthony Hopkins gets it right, in the opening meme. Just live your life’s experience. That’s your own real purpose. Your life is fleeting. Your life is fragile. Your life is short. Ta Da! You’re here. Put this on your “to do” list today, in Sharpie and in all caps: 1. LIVE AND LOVE. And tonight, when you are going over your “ta da!” list, smile in peace and contentedness, that you did it. You LIVED AND you LOVED.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Fodo

I just finished an excellent book called, Set Boundaries, Find Peace, by Nedra Glover Tawwab. Tawwab is a relationship therapist and the premise of her book is that almost all relationship issues (marital, family, friends, work, etc.) are related to our inabilities to create, and to enforce good boundaries for ourselves. Tawwab believes that the number one reason why people do not create and enforce personal boundaries, all stems from the fear of feeling “guilt.”

No one likes to feel “guilt”. It’s one of those negative emotions that feels like it is going to eat you alive. Guilt is one of those sickenly atrocious feelings that remind you of just how deep and unrelenting your feelings can be. Still, guilt is just a feeling, and if we don’t avoid our feelings, or deny our feelings, or ruminate in them, feelings pass, and often, fleetingly. When Tawwab suggests to one of her clients to place a boundary in a relationship, such as requiring people to call before showing up at their house, or to not call after 7 pm, she says that inevitably, her clients ask her how to place and how to enforce these boundaries without feeling “guilt.” Tawwab matter-of-factly tells them, “You will feel guilt. Do it anyway.” Tawwab then uses the analogy of the excitement we feel, the few days before we are going on a vacation. We still go about doing our daily duties, with the excitement still there, brimming in the background. “Excitement” is a feeling, just like “guilt” is a feeling, but we don’t have to let our feelings engulf us and/or put us in a frozen, catatonic state that stops us from living our lives.

Just like many other languages (other than English), have a lot of different words for “love”, I believe that we also need different words for “guilt.” Appropriate guilt is good. When we have done something, or we have said something, that goes against our own moral code (purposely, or even unintentionally), and this action has caused pain to ourselves and/or to others, the guilt that we feel helps to steer us on, to changing our behavior and to making amends. Feeling appropriate guilt is what separates most of us, from the few sociopathic and psychopathic people in our midsts. Feeling guilt is an appropriate response for having done something wrong. It is a natural navigational feeling to steer us back “on course”.

However, I think what we more commonly feel on a regular basis, is an inappropriate guilt, based on the erroneous idea that we are responsible for other people’s feelings and happiness. Even though the physical feelings are often identical, appropriate guilt is much different than what I am going to call, FODO (fear of disappointing others). Since the feelings are so similar in our bodies, when we are feeling “guilt”, the key question to ask ourselves is, “What did I do wrong?”

If I run a stop sign, and I cause a rear end collision, I will feel appropriate guilt. What did I do wrong? I ran a stop sign. (intentionally or unintentionally, I did it) I will apologize, I will give my insurance information, and I will take steps to be more careful when I am driving. The guilt will dissipate by me taking these actions. On the other hand, if my friend wants me to go out to eat with her, and I say no because I am tired, or I just don’t feel like it, or I would rather do something else, and she acts disappointed, I may feel those feelings that we tend to lump together under the heading of “guilt”. However, what I am really feeling, in this particular situation, is FODO (fear of disappointing others). What did I do wrong by saying “no” to my friend? Nothing. If she is feeling disappointed, that’s for her to work through. She has the right to feel disappointed or whatever feelings she feels, but her feelings are not my responsibility to change. And at the same token, it is not my friend’s responsibility to alleviate me of my feelings of “guilt” (FODO).

We don’t like to hurt the people whom we love. Honestly, we don’t like to hurt anyone in general. We fear disappointing others, because we fear losing them, or we fear being judged by them. But if the only way to keep a relationship with someone, is to constantly be doing things that don’t feel right for us, is this really a healthy relationship worth fostering in the long term? Is this really a healthy, authentic, growing, true relationship for either party involved?

Sometimes we do things that we aren’t completely excited about, out of our love for other people, and we do these things because it makes us happy to see them happy. When we choose to do these things, our motivation is primarily out of love, and not out of obligation, or to avoid feeling “guilt.” If I watch a football game with my husband, it may not be my first choice of things to do, but I enjoy being with him, and I like to participate in his interests sometimes. However, if I watched football games with him, all of the time, because I felt obligated to do it, for fear of losing my relationship with him, or to avoid some other negative consequence (such as him being angry or grumpy or aloof, etc.) than soon, my feelings would turn to resentment. The saying goes, “Choose guilt over resentment any time. Resentment is a slow burning soul killer.”

One of my wisest mentors once told me emphatically, “Never “should” on yourself.” Question every “should” that comes up in your mind. Is this “should” in your life something that you honestly believe, or is this “should” something that has been conditioned in you, or imposed upon you, by your family, or by your friends, or by society in general? It is a wise practice to take inventory of your own personal “shoulds” on a regular basis. Are you spending your holidays how you would like to spend them? Are you living where you would like to live? Do you belong to clubs and churches and activities and political parties and schools, that speak to your most intuitive self, and reflect your own personal interests and beliefs? Do you wear your hair in a style and a color that appeals to you? Do you wear clothes that appeal to you, and best reflect your true self? Do you keep work hours that feel right and fair to you? Does your work fulfill you in more than just a monetary sense? Are the people who you spend the most time with, your healthiest, most fulfilling relationships? Do you feel the need to hide parts of yourself, such as your sexuality, or your beliefs, or your hobbies, or your past, in fear of being judged or shamed? Do you go to restaurants, and see movies, and drive cars, and take trips, and read books that you like, or are your choices more a reflection on what “others would think”? Do you live an authentic life, or is your motivation primarily to impress or to please others (which, as we all know, is a futile, pointless endgame)? On the other hand, do you try to manipulate others with “shoulds” (and thus help to create fake, empty relationships filled with resentment and based on obligation), with the false, impossible idea that others are responsible for, and are somehow capable to create your own long term happiness, for you?

If a lot of your answers to these questions, made you realize just how much of your own life is being run by “shoulds” that ring false to you, or you realize that a lot of your life decisions are made, in order to avoid feeling FODO (fear of disappointing others), let this be your wake-up call. FODO won’t kill you. Resentment will. You are responsible for you. You are responsible for your feelings. You are responsible for your life. You are responsible for your own happiness. These rules apply to everyone else, too. Once we are adults, everyone is responsible for their own selves. We were each given an incredibly unique and rare set of circumstances in order to experience a life that no one else has ever lived, nor will ever live again. Do not cheat yourself nor swindle Creation, by not being true to your own aspirations and insights and goals and lessons. Do not let something as trifling as a passing feeling (FODO), stop you from living your life to its fullest, deepest, most meaningful experience. When you take responsibility for your own life and happiness by being true to yourself with all of your decisions, those who truly love you, could never be disappointed. To see you shine in your truest, healthiest, most authentic glory will be a gift of inspiration to others, to do the same thing for themselves. And when that happens, we are all so much better off for it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

My regular readers know that Sundays are dedicated to poetry here at the blog. On Sundays, I typically write a poem or I share a poem, written by someone else, which has moved me or delighted me. Today, I’m feeling a little silly and cheeky and I think that my poem reflects my mood. I think that poetry is perhaps the most mood reflective out all of our writing styles. You can’t keep emotion and mood out of poetry.

“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!” – Dr. Seuss

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.“- Dr. Seuss

Here’s my poem for today:

Saturday Afternoon

I spent all yesterday afternoon reading magazines,

And this is the wisdom that this experience gleans:

Davy Crockett said, “Be sure you’re right and then go ahead.”

Instead of scooping ice cream, take a knife and slice it up like bread.

What are the favorite things of Dolly Parton, who calls her own personal style “glamorous trash”?

She likes to buy Pond’s cold cream, Sharpies, legal pads, and Folgers with some of her hard-earned cash.

When answering “What’s the first thing you do when you get home from a trip?”

My favorite answer was from a reader, Suzanne Nord, with this excellent quip:

“It depends. If I traveled without my family, I hug them all. If I traveled with my family, I hide from them.”

I got inspired by the writings of Rami Shapiro, my favorite rabbi,

And I put a few new, fun products on my list, to buy and to try.

I clipped out some pictures, affirmations, exercises and beautiful art.

Reading magazines will never necessarily make one brilliant and smart.

Still, reading periodicals makes for a light and pleasant afternoon.

It’s good to relax. It’s not every day, that you have to shoot for the moon.

Checklists

I remember a time clearly, when I was a kid, that my teacher told us that our assignment was to write instructions on how to make a banana split sundae. Much to our surprise, she brought the ingredients for these sundaes to school, and she sat in front of the class and started to make banana split sundaes, according to our instructions. What resulted, was a disaster – a comical disaster, but a disaster nonetheless. It turns out that none of our instructions were written explicitly enough, and our teacher made a very clear example of this, with her demonstration (For example, some students forgot to write “get a bowl”, the amounts of ice cream and whipped cream were not specified – you get the picture.) It was a memorable experience, to say the least. I was in grade school when the lesson was taught, and I am now 50. Teachers are amazing.

This old lesson popped back into my head, because we have a couple of summer trips coming up, and we have hired new pet sitters to come into our home. Also adding to the mix, we have a pandemic puppy, Trip, who has never experienced a pet sitter in his short life. Trip is the least friendly dog, out of all three of our dogs, to anyone who is not in our immediate family. He keeps a small circle of trust. So, I have a level of climbing anxiety, as I am writing out the instructions, as to how best to keep our fur friends happy, safe and alive, while we are away.

When I was a teenaged kid, I babysat quite frequently. As a babysitter, I experienced every type of household – neat and prim, all of the of the way to the other end of the spectrum – wild and chaotic. I recall some mothers would write out very explicit directions on a tight, minute by minute time schedule (one particular mother noted in capital letters, which rooms I was not enter at all, as to not to disturb and distort the freshly made vacuum marks on the thick carpeting), while other mothers would just seem so relieved to see me, and they would yell out, “See you some time later!” with the assumption that my goal was to just keep the kids alive, and un-sunburned, until the time when the mother got up her nerve, to show back up. As a teenaged kid, I didn’t experience too much anxiety about any of this. My main goal was to see who had the best snacks in their pantries ,and to save up the money from my $3-an-hour gigs, for a new bright yellow Sony Sportsman cassette player.

Still, I do remember, in a way, appreciating the very explicit directions which some mothers wrote out for me. It left less room for ambiguity and questions. It was easy to just follow a checklist. I didn’t have to think too much, on the job. I often secretly made fun of these mothers with their “uptight” concerns, but they had set me up for success. I knew exactly what they expected, and so if I completed the clear-cut checklist, we all could be assured that I had done my job well, and to her satisfaction. We both breathed a little easier, seeing that there was little room for confusion and error.

As I became a mother myself, and hired babysitters for our children, I fell in-between these two extremes. I would jot down a few notes on a fancy, specific babysitter’s notepad, but with four kids and many pets, my house always naturally just veered towards chaotic. And of course, by the time my kids had babysitters, we had cell phones, so we were always accessible for questions and concerns that the babysitter might have about anyone, or anything.

I remember also, as an exhausted young mother, getting winsome for those days when someone would just hand me a to-do checklist. “Get this done and your golden.” I think that was my biggest lament of my mothering days. I didn’t mind doing any of the chores, I just didn’t want to have to plan it all out. I didn’t want to have to think about anything. I was too tired to think. I remember my sweet husband wanting to give me a break at times, and hauling all of the kids down to McDonalds. But then (not wanting to make any ‘mistakes’) he would call me up, and ask me what he should order for the kids to eat, and that’s when I would want to scream. That’s the Catch-22 of mothering, right? We want someone to give us a break, but then these break-givers have to walk on eggshells, hoping that they are doing things the “right” way (according to us).

Some of my friends are now becoming grandparents. One of my friends was asked to take a grandparenting class, by her daughter, to make sure that she was “up-to-date” on all of the new baby stuff and requirements. Of course, we all got a big giggle out of that, since my friend successfully raised three children of her own. (It’s a wonder any of us are alive and well, isn’t it? Helmets, seatbelts, and the like, were foreign concepts when I was kid.) Still, my friend admits that the class was helpful and eye-opening to see how much had changed, and it preempted a lot of hurt feelings, and helped everyone in the family to be more relaxed, by understanding everyone’s expectations.

So, in conclusion, as soon as I finish this blog post, I will be adding the finishing touches to my pet sitter’s to-do list. I want to make it clear and simple for her, so that we both have peace of mind. In the end, though, I hope that she’ll be mostly be focused on the priority of just keeping our dogs alive and well, without sun-burned paws and noses, for the short while that we are away from them. Possibly, considering all of her years of experience in dog sitting, “Keep them alive and well,” is all that really needs to be put on to the checklist.

“Sometimes our stop-doing list needs to be bigger than our to-do list.” – Patty Digh

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do...

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Look For It

Almost everything in life is neutral. Almost everything in life falls in the gray areas. We don’t want to believe this because we like absolutes. We are attached to labeling everyone and everything, “good” or “bad” and then looking for all of the evidence to back our labels up. Maybe we should be like children and label everything as “magic” and look for the evidence to back it up. I think that we would be overwhelmed with the confirmation that children are right. Life is magical.

This morning I am surrounded by magic: I am drinking this wonderful, warm elixir called coffee, that is the perfect combination of comforting and stimulating. It tastes and smells divine. Surrounding me, sleeping peacefully, are three gorgeous creatures, basically the pure essence of love, covered in fur. (our dogs) My family is happily doing their favorite activities this morning (sleeping, biking, tennis) and their pleasant, peaceful energy wafts over me and melts into my own happiness, as I do my own favorite activity: writing and communing with you. I am reading my very own thoughts, conveyed on a screen, as quickly as I can type them out. How incredibly magical! There is a slight breeze causing a ripple current in the lake outside of my window, and my windchimes are tinkling softly, serving as background music for the swaying, dancing water. I only really hear the chimes, when I hone in on them. My hearing is magically selective like that, isn’t yours?

Let’s have a magical weekend, my friends. Let’s look for the magic (and not look for the dark, evil Voldemort variety of magic. Although, honestly, isn’t reading and getting lost in an excellent Harry Potter book, created out of J.K. Rowling’s incredible imagination, stunningly magical in itself?). It isn’t hard to find magic. Be like a child and look for it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Pioneers

A few nights ago, my husband and I got to talking and reminiscing about our honeymoon in St. Martin, which is a Caribbean island. I told him that I remember feeling a lot of anxiety about my job, during our trip. I was 23-years-old, and my job was selling college textbooks for Prentice Hall Publishing Company. By age 25, I had quit that job and I was a full-time mother to our eldest son. So over twenty-five years ago, while I was on one of the most wonderful, landmark vacations of my lifetime, I can still acutely remember the stress and the worry, which I allowed to happen within me, about a job that turned out to be such a small, somewhat insignificant blip in my life. Of course, I still experienced an amazing honeymoon, and I still get a Christmas card every single year from my previous manager at that job. But in reflection, I allowed my stomach-churning nervousness and uneasiness which I’ve been prone to, most of my life, to affect that trip, and many, many others, despite proving to myself again and again, that the worry never, ever helps anything.

We all know the platitudes about worry: “Worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.” – Corrie Ten Boom “Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.”- Kahlil Gibran “Worrying is using your imagination to create something that you don’t want.” – Esther Hicks

I read that in order to help yourself to stop worrying, you should memorize sayings like the ones above, or memorize comforting Bible verses to help soothe your concerns. These actions help, but what helps me even more is to reflect on the thousands of times which I have worried about events in my life, that always ended up turning out just fine, and sometimes even more than fine. I think that is one of the most beautiful aspects of aging. The older you get, you pile up a whole, giant cache of experiences to reflect on, and to learn from. The lessons get repeated again and again and again, in only slightly different forms and scenarios, until you finally decide to learn the lesson for good.

“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.” – Deepak Chopra

Let’s be pioneers of the future, friends. I think that this is a human life’s purpose, in a nutshell. And no worries, we’ve got all of the Love in the Universe to support us, all along the way.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday Fun-Day

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(credit: Rex Masters Twitter)

We had taken down some artwork when we switched around our bedrooms this past spring. There was a print that had been hanging in my daughter’s room, which I had always liked, but she considered it too childish for her evolving teenage tastes. The print had been done by an artist from the past, named H. Willebeek Lemair. Lemair was a Dutch artist who later changed her name to “Saida.” Her artwork mostly depicts women and children and has a fanciful, cartoonish quality.

The wonderful thing about the internet, is that it is like having an art gallery right in the palm of your hands. The picture inspired me to peruse the internet for other pieces of Lemair’s art, which lead me to artists who had similar styles of painting, to hers. I started printing out any pictures which I really liked, to paste into my calendar and into my inspirational notebooks. In the end, I had a little pile of about ten pictures that moved me. What turned out to be the biggest surprise of my little exercise, was the insight which I received when I looked through the pictures that I had printed out. I thought that I had printed the artwork, with no real rhyme or reason. They were just individual pictures that had visually moved me, more than any others which I had perused. Interestingly, it turns out that the majority of the paintings (created by a variety of artists), depicted young women reading books. All but one of the pictures, had at least one book as a focal point in the painting. Unbeknownst to the conscious part of me, there was a real, true “theme” to my collection.

I think that our passions and purposes, pop out of us, every which way they can. Our passions are hard to contain, even when we try to tamp them down or to change them. The deepest part of ourselves sends hints to us, all of the time, if we take the time to be “self sleuths.” I have read that if you are having trouble figuring out your deepest passions and motivations, try to remember what you most liked to do as a child. When we were children, we were less conditioned by our experiences and the world around us. Our passions played more innocently on the surface, when we were young kids. Follow what really grasps your attention during your daily activities, and ask yourself “why?” and then, take your time to explore the answer. Keep a dream journal. Our subconscious is quiet, but persistent. It begs to be noticed, if we look for the clues.

Finding Yourself Is Not Really How It Works - Tiny Buddha | Inspirational quotes, Spiritual quotes, Life quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Calamity Friday

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(The Cure – of course, it is actually Friday that is the cure for everything, correct?)

Hello to my friends and readers! Thank you for supporting my blog. Thank you for showing up for me and my art (writing). It means the world to this middle-aged gal, trying to blaze new trails for myself. I’ve gotten a few new subscribers this week. Woo-hoo and welcome!! I was trying to do a new feature on my Thursday blog post called “Throwback Thursday” in which I highlight old blog posts that have been among the most popular ones which I have written over the years. Of course, I immediately forgot to do that yesterday, so for my new readers, I am going to point you to this previous post of mine. It explains my writing process, and also why you probably won’t get the typo/mistake free, mostly smoothly worded version of my blog in your inbox. Still, I am beyond honored that any of you want a daily email from me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Housekeeping

My regular readers know that Fridays are devoted to the fluff in life. I love fluffy Fridays!!! On Fridays, I discuss three songs, books, websites, apps, beauty products etc. that have made my own life a little more sensory, and fun, and I strongly encourage you to add your own favorites to my Comments. Also, please check out previous Friday posts for more good stuff. Here are my favorites for today:

Calamityware – This porcelain china is awesome. From a distance, it looks like fine, expensive, Blue Willow china (that ornate blue and white, antique dinnerware that has an Asian quality to it), however when you look real closely, the patterns actually show all sorts of crazy fiascos happening in the scenery depicted. Dinosaurs, flying monkeys, aliens, sharks etc. are all doing their crazy antics on fine dinner plates and teacups. The irony of this, just tickles me! My favorite pieces are the soup bowls with flies painted at the bottom of them. Years ago I was gifted “Dirty Dishes” from Fishs Eddy. The “Dirty Dishes” depict topless women, lazily lounging all around the rim. I also have a martini glass ornament that is decorated with ornate swear words. It’s called the “dirty martini glass.” I love this kind of stuff. Calamityware is made by a cheeky Polish artist, and his website is a such a pleasure to peruse (a perfect activity for a Friday). Check it out and at least get yourself a mug from the “Things Could Be Worse” series. Get your laughs wherever you can (I think perhaps, that the best laughs come from the most unlikely of places. Unexpected laughs are really, really good for the soul).

Flip Flop Feet Planter – My husband found me this at Ace Hardware. It was the last one left because they were so popular with the customers. Apparently you can also get these cuties at Walmart. These whimsical pieces are not the highest of quality. They are made out of some sort of light plastic. Hence, including the plant, the Flip Flop Feet Planters only cost around 10 dollars. What an inexpensive way to get a smile every time you look at it! It’s like a dimestore mannequin with a bushy little plant body. Wow, okay – I promise that the planter is not nearly as weird and creepy, as my description sounds.

Dog Poop Bag Holders – These are another super cheap, “must buy” for anyone who has a dog, and walks their dog. We have three dogs, who prefer to “save up” and do all of their elimination on our walks. We are also good, considerate neighbors, so we always pick up after our dogs. And we take long walks. And we live in sweltering Florida. It is not fun to walk around for miles, in sweltering Florida, holding a swinging bag of poop. It just isn’t. Trust me on this. These holders are little plastic clips that you attach to the dog leash, which allow you to tie the bag up, slide it on the clip, and the clip then allows the bag to dangle far, far away from any of your bodily parts, until you happily arrive at a trash can. Make sure that you attach the clip to the top of the leash. My husband accidentally attached Josie’s (our lovely collie) clip too low, and being the priss that she is, she was absolutely mortified when she was thumped with a bag of the three dogs’ excrement. (Understandable. We may have to get her therapy.) I got a set of two dog poop bag holders, on Amazon, for around 6 or 7 dollars. Worth every cent.

Have a great weekend, friends! I’ll give you the advice which I often give to my adult children: “Live it up, but don’t eff it up.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Faux is French for Fake

I was perusing some online shopping outlets and I looked at a “faux” shearling jacket. I live in Florida, thus I don’t need too many jackets, and I certainly do not need too many warm jackets. Therefore, I passed on buying the jacket. Still, I paused on the description page, and I felt a tad nostalgic and wistful. Having grown up in Pennsylvania, there are two things that I miss about living in the north, these things being fall leaves and winter clothes. Certainly, I don’t miss having to wear winter clothes to ward off frigid temperatures and snow, but I do love the look of winter clothes. Winter clothes have more texture, and comfortability, and richness of quality to them, than summer clothes do. Winter clothes beg to be layered. And the biggest plus about winter clothes, is that they are so much more forgiving than summer clothes. They’re like make-up/masks/disguises for your body, whereas a bathing suit is like that giant magnifying glass at your dermatologist’s office.

Reading the description of the jacket, I had to giggle at the word “faux.” The French have a way of making everything sound lovely and sophisticated, don’t they? What if the description kept it all in the same language and said, “Fake Shearling Jacket.” Yep, it’s fake. Do ya still wannit? I wonder if the word “faux” is as off-putting to the French, as the word “fake” is to us. Do they change “faux” to the word “fake” in their descriptions of things, to give their products a more exotic, foreign appeal? I have my doubts. I’ve read that a lot of Europeans like to buy American western wear here. Do their catalogs advertising “vegan leather” (ha!) cowboy boots read, “Fake cuir des bottes de cowboy”? Maybe using the word “fake” gives the boots a charming, Americana twang to the description?

There are so many word comparisons like this, that seem to accentuate our American down-home flavor, versus the French air of sophistication:

biscuit/croissant

swagger/savoir-faire

really good/par excellence

fancy clothes/haute-couture

friendliness/bonhomie

one-on-one/tête-à-tête

“the bomb”/crème de la crème

get together/rendez-vous

presto!/voila!

I love being American. I’ve been to France once, and it was nice. The French were actually much kinder to us than they are reported to be. In fact, they sure were super friendly! 😉 I think that the French people, who we met, must have felt my joie de vivre, being on a fabulous trip. Truth be told, I don’t speak French at all. I took five years of Latin for my foreign language requirement. There are so many stories and sub-stories from this experience, (my erratic and dramatic Latin instructor was also my hyper-competitive high school Forensics coach, and his wife, alarmingly looked exactly like a human version of Betty Boop), but these stories are for another blog post, some day.

Reading over this post, I see how “off track” I tend to get, and how rambling it is. It’s been a crazy week. Pardon, my la divigation, s’il vous plaît. Thank you, kindly! Merci!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.