It’s not lost on me that we are experiencing a Super Full Moon today. For many of us, full moons signify the ending of something big, and the doors to new beginnings. Our youngest child, and our only daughter left for college less than three weeks ago. My entire mantra for the first half of this year has been “Finish Strong.” It was my entire focus. And I believe that we did finish strong. My daughter loved and soaked in all of her senior events (as did we), and although we are all in a period of adjustment, I believe that she has a strong beginning set in place for the start of her adult life, away from home.
I’m not sure that I have fully allowed myself to feel the emotions of the magnitude of what this means for me. I was a stay-at-home parent to our four children. Mothering was not just one of my roles. It was my main role. It was my occupation. So not only is my main role of daily parenting coming to an end, I am also retiring from my occupation. Double whammy.
I don’t need suggestions of what to do with my time. I’ve never been bored. I am a curious person. Curious people are rarely bored. I think what I am struggling with right now is finding a new mantra – an aim to set my Sagittarius arrow towards. As it is said, “Shoot for the moon.Even if you miss it you will land among the stars.” (Les Brown) For now, this mantra is “Start Strong”, but that’s kind of nebulous. I haven’t worked out the details of what that means. But I will figure it out. This I know. Curious people have a knack for figuring stuff out.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I’m sorry for the bad quality. I literally took a picture of this Tweet and put it up here. Hank Green is one of those science guys on Twitter (a Bill Nye kind of guy) who helps to explain science to us unscientific types. This is one of the first photographs from the James Webb Space Telescope. Mind blowing. So many responses to this tweet referred to “existential dread.” Sometimes I wonder if “existential dread” is actually synonymous with “egotistical dread.” OMG, what?!? We’re not the center of the Universe?! Our current drama that’s playing out is not actually all that important at all?!? I honestly don’t feel dread when I read about scientific discoveries like this. I feel peace. I like the relief and the quick change in perspective that it gives to me.
In other news, I read this profound quote the other day:
Everybody has a heart; you just have to find the location. — “The Goldbergs,” “The New Landlord” (1949)
Playing detective to find out what is really at the heart of any matter, explains a lot. Last night, I was at a dear friend’s house, and we were trying to help another friend understand why she had quit doing one of her great passions/purposes/talents in life (something which she loves to do as much as I love to write, maybe even more, and honestly she is better at it, than I am at writing). It turns out that what was stopping her from doing her avocation was related to a great loss that she had experienced, which was closely tied to her passion project. My one caring, questioning friend helped our dear friend get to this heart of the matter, and the relief that our bereaved friend seemed to feel, coming to this realization, made me hopeful that she will resume with her passion soon again. What is near and dear to anyone’s heart is found in the tender, vulnerable parts of what matters to that person the most. And everybody has at least one thing, or at least one person, that matters to them greatly, and that is where they store most of the whole of their precious, beating heart.
On a lighter note, my second eldest son and I had a text exchange, in which we were discussing his longtime girlfriend’s upcoming birthday. My son is in medical school and if he weren’t in medical school, he probably would have been an engineer. He is a science geek. My son would adore the first part of my blog post and would already be off looking for more information on the Webb telescope without finishing the post. “Subjective” is his least favorite word. He was the kid whom I always had to remind, “DO NOT touch any buttons or levers anywhere, at any time, do you understand?” In my humble opinion, he tends to be a tad practical, and perhaps not quite sentimental enough, when it comes to getting his girlfriend gifts. So, I texted him this thought:
“I read something that you should never buy a woman something that has a cord.”
His reply:
“Hahaha Damn, I’m glad I’m not a woman then.”
And of course when I mentioned this text exchange to my antagonistic youngest son, this son went on to give plenty of examples of women who love receiving fancy curling irons and blow dryers and he reminded me of all of the women who buy power tools from him every single day. (I get it. I get it. Perhaps I should have been more direct in my communication about maybe finding something with a cord, that also may have some sentimental value, or perhaps I should learn to just butt out – something that I need to work on every single day of my life. Yes, I can be nosy. I can be bossy. My heart is usually in the right place, but still, I need to work on these attributes of mine, this I know.)
I think I’ll end this post with a word that I learned from Rex Masters on Twitter the other day. It is a Japanese word: kuchisabishii – it means the times that you are not hungry, but you eat because your mouth is lonely. My mouth is lonely a lot. In fact it’s kind of lonely right now, so I am going to sign off. See you tomorrow!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning. My regular readers know that I devote Sundays to poetry on the blog. I don’t have a poem today. I don’t have a poem in any way. I’m not sharing one I wrote. But what I have, is wrote in quote. Poets don’t always write in rhyme – for that, they don’t always have the time. Sometimes poets just really have wise things to say, and so that is what I am sharing with you today.
“I have never started a poem whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering.” – Robert Frost
“Poetry is the clear expression of mixed feelings.” – W. H. Auden
“If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.” – Emily Dickinson
“A picture is a poem without words.” – Horace
“Poetry is nearer to vital truth than history.” – Plato
“If poetry and the arts do anything, they can fortify your inner life, your inwardness.” – Seamus Heaney
“A poet looks at the world the way a man looks at a woman.” – Wallace Stevens
“To have great poets, there must be great audiences.” – Walt Whitman
Thank you for being my great audience, readers. I love you. Have a blessed, poetic Sunday. <3 (Write a poem. Discover the ending. Make sense of your mixed feelings. Blow your own mind, or perhaps just take a photo and see the poetry in it. Find the vital truth that only your deepest inwardness knows. Fall in love with yourself through your words. You are a great poet, even if the only audience is yourself. <3 )
How’s everyone’s summer going? An informal survey with my friends and relations says that it is going “really fast.” I feel the same way. But really, we all get the same 24 hours in any day. And summer is roughly equal to the same amount of time as any of the other three seasons. Perception is a funny thing.
I saw the quote listed below and it reminded me that almost all of us have had a summer crush/vacation connection (usually in our teenage years), or perhaps, we all can think of that just one particularly amazing summer in which everything was just right: our bodies looked and felt great, our trips and our weekend events were amazing and particularly memorable, we felt unusually relaxed and connected with all of our friends and our family, and the weather cooperated perfectly through it all. We just wished that the summer would never, ever end.
“I’ll never regret someone that I had an amazing time and experience with. Even if we fall off, you made my life special at a certain time. We grew together, even if we grew apart. Thank you.” – Poem Heaven (Twitter)
There is something about the slow, lazy, dreamy summer days that make you feel nostalgic for it, before it is even over.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
James Caan is my favorite for today on Favorite Things Friday. Any time I went to a movie, and I found out that James Caan was in it, I’d be glad. I loved his expressions, from the crazy temper of Sonny Corleone in TheGodfather, to the smirky-ness of Walter in Elf. I loved his confident, macho, wise-ass demeanor.
The quote above by James Caan, is all that any of us parents are trying to do, right? We don’t get a degree in parenting from esteemed universities. We pretty much get on the job training – sink or swim. We try our best to carry on the traditions that we love from our families of origin, and we try our best to make the changes that would have made our own childhoods better. It’s not easy, but the loving part is in the earnest trying to be better, and to do better, in the hopes that our children will do the same, and improve upon us, so that the generations ahead will move forward towards a goal of loving, parental perfection. This is perhaps an unattainable goal, but at least it’s a point in the horizon worth pointing our ships toward.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Never forget how unique and wonderful you are in this world. There is only one of you. That makes you priceless and precious. Treat yourself as such.
It was interesting to me, last weekend, when we were driving through a part of Florida that had recently been decimated by a hurricane. Instead of rebuilding homes on their land, it appeared that a few people had purchased large, expensive RVs that they parked under metal RV “carports” on the land that used to be a beach homestead. Many of these fancy RV “carports” actually had screened in porches built into them. It was a fascinating solution.
My husband and I are embarking on that stage in life, where a lot more opportunities are opening up to us, as to where to live and how to live. It’s exciting and daunting, all at the same time. Still, as I ponder these decisions, I have to remind myself that “wherever you go, there you are.” We are all like our own little RVs, carrying around our own awareness and perceptions, our egos and personalities, our thought tickers (kind of like a stock tickers), our hearts, and our baggage.
One beach that we recently drove through is home to gorgeous, multi-million dollar homes where a lot of the Nashville country stars, and Hollywood stars with southern ties, are known to have beach houses. People like Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson and Trisha Yearwood are all said to have residences there. None of these stars’ lives mentioned, have been “a cakewalk.” Clearly, no matter where you live outside of your own body/”RV”, that outside spot doesn’t protect you from the hurricanes of relationship, mental health, and addiction issues. Wherever you park your own little personal RV, that’s where you are. No matter how fancy the outside of your parking spot is, what truly matters is what is going on inside of your own unique RV.
How is maintenance going on your own personal RV? Are you fueling it up healthfully? Are you shading it from the hot summer sun? What about that thought ticker that is constantly scrolling? Is that thought ticker stuck on repeat? What are the quality of thoughts that are constantly being played and replayed on it? How’s the windshield on your own little RV body? Do you keep it clean, so that your perception is clear and wide open? Is your RV carrying too much baggage? Are there things/habits/relationships that need to be kicked to the curb and let go, so that you can ride to your destinations, freer and lighter? How about that heart engine of your own beautiful little RV? That’s what needs to be protected the most, because, otherwise your RV isn’t going anywhere.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
It is estimated that there are between 143 million and 210 million orphans worldwide
Everyday an estimated 5,760 more children become orphans worldwide
Approximately 250,000 children are adopted annually
Each day an estimated 38,493 orphans “age out” of the orphanage system and are put on the streets with no family and no home
10% to 15% of these children commit suicide before they reach 18 years old
All face highly challenging and uncertain futures without the support of a family
Credit: Project 143
If you do the math, 2,050,560 children become orphans every single year. And approximately 250,000 of children are adopted annually. Hmmmm. I’ve never been great at math, but it appears to me that there are plenty of children already in the world who would greatly benefit from being adopted. And sadly, we in America, all know the face of another precious orphan whose parents were gunned down at a Fourth of July parade, by a 21-year old man (with prior issues of violence), who legally bought high powered rifles in his own state.
I’m not trying to be political here. I am grateful for the new law that our Republican governor in Florida put into place recently, that would never restrict loved ones from being able to visit their loved ones in a hospital. No one should EVER have to die alone. Last fall, there was more than one time, when our son’s epileptic seizures were out of control, that we were denied access to visit him in his hospital room, and this was in Florida which was generally much less restricted than the rest of the country during the earliest times of the pandemic. I remember sobbing at the front of a hospital entrance in my husband’s arms, with the power to do nothing but to hope and to pray.
Can we stop with the party lines??? Can we start to come together with realism, common sense, and an agreement to compromise, for the good of our country and for the good of our country’s precious citizens??? These hard core, black/white, all or nothing, stubborn, defiant, righteous, hateful lines that both of our major parties are walking, are not doing us any good. We are not walking a straight path. We are walking in circles. And we are quickly circling down the drain, to the despair of the majority of us, who adore our country.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
We lived nine years in Charlotte, NC before moving to Florida. Where we ended up landing this weekend, was a quintessential southern-flavored town, right on the white sanded, Florida beach. It felt as if Charlotte had landed up on the beach. It was lovely to experience again the southern charms of excellent biscuits, babies with monograms and big bows, and drinks filled with mint leaves. No one could ever deny the unsurpassed-ness of southern hospitality.
My husband and I did a lot of biking and swimming and playful flirting. This is the first trip that we have taken in a while, where we could just focus on the two of us. We noticed a sweet young couple cuddled together, taking a luxurious nap on one lounge by the pool. Almost 28 years ago we were that sweet young couple, swaying on a hammock, all snuggled together, on a beach on our honeymoon, dreaming about what was to come ahead in this life that we would share. Wow. It would take volumes of books, full of depth and nuances, to explain the intricacies and the lessons and the adventures and the joys (and also the challenges) of raising a family of four children, to that young couple huddled in a hammock. I think if I saw honeymoon me now, I would just say, “Darling, it’s going to be amazing. Sometimes incredibly challenging, but always amazing. Treasure it. Experience every moment, knowing that you have just made the best decision of your life.”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Dear United States of America,
Foremost, you are my beautiful country. This weekend I stayed in my own lovely state of Florida and travelled to incredibly, scenic parts of Florida which I have never seen before. I saw so much diversity, in just this one state. Miles and miles of untouched wilderness, gorgeous coastlines, cities and small towns, all with their own flavors and charms and heritage. The diversity in the people matched these beautiful, unique places, and this is in just one small part of 1/50th of this incredible, vast, magnificent land.
USA, I love you. My grandfathers and my father served to keep you free. I married into a patriotic family. My father-in-law made a career in the army. My sister-in-law is one of the first women to graduate from West Point. My husband remembers to always put the flag out on every special day. He always remembers, and I love him for that loyalty and respect that he has always shown to you.
That being said, America, I am angry with you right now. So very angry. I love you and I will always love you. You are my country. But right now, I don’t like you. I don’t like you at all. I don’t like how divisive and angry you have become. I don’t like that you seem to have forgotten the very tenants that you were founded on, such as the separation of church and state. I don’t like how violent and dangerous you have become. America, you are behaving like a spoiled, arrogant, greedy brat. For the first time in my life, as an American woman, I can better empathize with how complicated patriotism and days like the Fourth of July must truly feel to our native, indigenous people and to our black citizens. My heart finally understands a little bit of what hurts these days must bring up to huge swaths of your own sacred citizens.
America, you are in an awkward stage, like an angry, petulant, stubborn, entitled, lazy teenager, hellbent on self-destructing. It’s not a path that you want to stay on. You have a lot of healing and growing and awakening to do, and I hope that you wise up to these facts before there is no turning back. Choose your leaders carefully and soulfully, so that the free world can respect and accept your own leadership once again. Find some humility. Find a path forward that you can be proud of, and that will preserve all of the ideals that so many of your own people gave their lives to keep.
Happy Birthday, America. Please do better. You are capable of being so much more. Dig deep and be what you are meant to be – a beacon of freedom and hope and prosperity and vision and dignity and integrity, for all people to revere.
May this birthday be the day that it all turns towards the light of better days ahead for you my beautiful, beloved country. I truly hope so. Make it so.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning. Our intuitions have served us well. I am waking up in the only room left available in a fabulous, old inn listed on the National Historic Register. The hotel is in one of those towns that feels like it has always been home – one of those comfortable, feel good places, which in some ways feels like it has somehow always been a part of me, even though I have never been here before. I love this serendipitous feeling.
Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Atticus says it best:
Here is my poem for day. Take a moment today in which all you do is feel. Write a poem.
“The Well Beaten Path Back To Me”
I did not know where I was going so I let my soul take the wheel.
And it steered itself to where it could best be refilled, renewed and restored.
My soul always knows the way.
It has the wisdom of the sun and the stars and the knowledge that beats my heart.
