Good morning. This is travel home day, so I don’t have a long time to write like I usually have on Tuesdays. That is the beauty of travel, it opens up your inner and outer landscapes, but it also makes you appreciate the wonders and comforts of home.
More than many times on this trip, I felt thankful. I felt thankful for full flights, and for being on crowded shuttle busses, and I felt thankful for waiting in long lines at national sites. I felt thankful for crowds, and I am not one who generally likes crowds. I mostly felt thankful that we all felt safe to be fully alive again, after the scourge of the pandemic. There are silver linings to everything, and these silver linings are often painted by a brushful of gratitude.
I typically save poems that I like for Sundays, but I will share this one today, so that you don’t feel cheated by a short blog post. It was by the elevators in one of the places we stayed in this weekend. I think that it is a lovely, soulful poem.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Yesterday, my husband and I decided to do some hiking. We approached a trailhead marked “Black Diamond” which meant steep and difficult. A fit, sprite woman, in adorable hiking regalia, who appeared to be in her sixties came down from the trail.
“Was it strenuous?” I asked her.
“Well, that depends on your age and your joints. You see I’m 90, so I have to take it a little more slowly.”
“WHAT?!? You’re 90?! Wow, I am looking at aging goals right here!” I exclaimed wondrously.
“The key is to keep moving,” she said. “Just keep moving.” She then smiled proudly and jauntily headed down to her car at the foot of the mountain.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
When I travel, I enjoy seeing historic buildings and unusual terrain. I love partaking in different kinds of food and celebrations. I get inspired by clothing styles which are unique to an area. I am amazed at all of the landscapes and creatures which are different than what I am used to seeing. I love experiencing an overall ambience that is entirely unique to itself. I suppose I would say I like to get to know the rhythm and the poetry of where I am staying. Every place has its perfect poetry embedded in its DNA. Here is a poem which was left on a card at one of the lovely places we have stayed in on this current trip. It was meant for Soul Sunday, the day devoted to poetry on the blog.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
So I am in a state several thousands of miles away from my home state of Florida. We did what many other giddy, “throw caution to the wind”, newly created empty nesters do. For the holiday weekend, we bought last minute plane tickets, arranged for a rental car, and we decided to just “wing” the rest of the trip. And so far, it has been exhilarating! I feel young and adventurous – two of my favorite feelings.
I probably won’t be writing much this weekend. I want to saturate in the experience. What has already become abundantly clear to me, just a day into this adventure, is that the United States’ greatest strength is the diversity of its people, all coming from so many varied cultures and heritages. It is our freedom which has allowed us to keep these traditions alive and strong. You wouldn’t imagine that my state and this other state are even in the same country, as our foods, our architecture, our festivals, our traditions and our landscapes are so vastly different. Yet we are fellow Americans, and we can celebrate our differences and our unity, all at once, and be awestruck and so immensely proud, all at the same time.
“This, I believe, is one of the most important sources of America’s greatness. We lead the world because, unique among nations, we draw our people — our strength — from every country and every corner of the world. And by doing so we continuously renew and enrich our nation.” – Ronald Reagan
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Cauliflower. Albino broccoli. When did it become amazing? It feels like it was just in the last few years that we have truly explored the wonders of cauliflower. When I was a kid, I loved white chocolate. (Who am I kidding? I still love white chocolate.) Anyway, every single Easter, the Easter Bunny would bring me a big, white chocolate bunny which I would gnaw on throughout the Easter season. Once, when I was out in my yard, and my white chocolate bunny had become just a little white nub full of teeth marks, my snoopy next door neighbor yelled out to me, “Dear, what is that, that you are gnawing on?” I explained that I was feverishly gnawing on what was left of my white chocolate Easter bunny. “Oh silly me!” she exclaimed. “I thought that it was hunk of cauliflower.” That’s then when we both doubled over in hysterical laughter. Feasting on cauliflower! Was she crazy?!? If this had happened nowadays, versus in the 1970s, I would have better understood her confusion. Cauliflower is good! My favorites for today, on this Favorite Things Friday are two cauliflower crusted pizzas, and a delicious bag of non-potato “tater tots”, made of, you guessed it, cauliflower. These items are delicious. They are not quite as good as white chocolate, but I would put them right up there, and they are not full of sugar.
Kirkland Signature Supreme Cauliflower Crust Pizza (a supreme pizza with meat) and Milton’s Craft Bakers Roasted Vegetable Cauliflower Crust Pizza (no meat) are both delicious brands of cauliflower crusted pizza that can be found at Costco. We get them every time we go to Costco (which is a lot, of course, because we’re a middle-aged married couple) and we haven’t tired of them yet! They come with two pizzas to a box. And you should be able to get Green Giant Veggie Tots Cauliflower, Cheese, & Bacon at any self-respecting grocery store. Try them, you’ll love them. And maybe, because of the pride that you’ll feel for yourself for eating healthier options, you might be able to add a little white chocolate in the mix, for dessert.
Have a delightful, holiday weekend, friends! So long, summer! It’s been real.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Every first of the month, I go to Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone. Susan Miller has been doing astrology for a long, long time, and without fail, on the first day of every month, she writes a little excuse as to why the horoscopes aren’t ready yet. I can’t remember the last time the monthly horoscopes were ready to be read on the morning of the first day of any said month. Today’s excuse was a headline, highlighted in green. And I laugh to myself, as I wonder why Susan Miller even bothers to write excuses. First of all, her monthly horoscopes are FREE. She doesn’t owe me, or any other reader, jack doodle. And when the monthly horoscopes finally do appear (usually within the first few days of the month), they are delightful to read. They are thoughtful, usually 5-7 pages long, replete with a summary, in case you don’t have time to read 5-7 pages, and you just want some highlights. So convenient! If I went to Astrology Zone this morning, expecting my horoscope to be prepared to be read today, that’s on me. And if I feel disappointed that it isn’t ready, my disappointment was caused by my unrealistic expectation, not by Susan Miller. If you have a friend who is always late to things, adjust your expectations. You can try to express your concern with your friend’s tardiness with them, but if this direct communication doesn’t work, you must make adjustments. Adjust the time you show up for meetings with this friend, or even decide that your frustration is not worth meeting one-on-one with this person. Decide that you’ll just see this person at celebrations or gatherings which include other people whom you can mingle with, until the tardy person saunters in. If we can learn to be realistic about our own expectations and what we actually have control over, a lot of our angst can be solved for us. And honestly, excuses are useless.
And in other news, I went to our veterinarians’ office yesterday, to pick up our 81- pound Labrador retriever’s prescription diet kibble. (Actually, we found out that this is Ralphie’s ideal weight. He was hovering around 100 pounds during COVID lockdown. I am seriously considering going on this kibble diet myself. I could stand to lose my pandemic weight gain, and this is a prepackaged, no need to cook, easy diet plan. Yes, it’s true. This kibble gets more and more enticing every single day that jeans-wearing weather gets closer on the calendar.) Our awesome veterinarians are a married couple, who are about the same ages as me and my husband. The wife saw me picking up the food, and asked me how things are going with me. I told her that we just officially became empty nesters. Dr. Sarah (as she is fondly known) is a bubbly, smart, energetic, Hispanic woman. She got animated and her eyes lit up, when I mentioned empty nesting. “Ah yes! We are now empty nesters, too! It’s so peaceful and quiet and our house stays clean and neat and we are going on a trip this weekend, just the two of us. I feel kind of guilty saying this, but I am kinda liking this empty nest.” I smiled at her knowingly. “No need for guilt, Dr. Sarah. I feel the exact same way.” And as we each talked excitedly about our weekend plans, the receptionist, whose kids are in elementary school, gave us both the side-eyed stink-eye.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
The Wise Connector posted this on Twitter as a friendly reminder.
We have relatively new neighbors who love to talk about themselves. They love to talk about the trips they were on, their kids, their grandkids, the services they’ve hired, etc. In short, they love to talk about themselves. They have never once asked me a question about anything going on in my life. If I interject something not pertaining to them, they quickly boomerang the conversation back to what they want to tell me. Sometimes I wonder if they even know my name. I think that I’ve noticed that they also seem a little miffed, and wonder why I avoid them like the plague, shutting my garage door before I am even out of my car.
Sometimes people treat good, engaged listeners as “captive audiences”. Remember that the reason why good listeners are good listeners is that they are kind, compassionate, considerate, interested, and engaged. Good listeners notice nuances, and hear things, and remember facts that most people do not. That’s what makes them so unusual and desirable in today’s world. It is also the reason why good listeners, in particular, notice when you are not listening. Think about the best listeners in your life. Let yourself be their “captive audience” for a change. Don’t assume you are as interesting as you think that you are, and that their “quietness” makes them boring. Really listening to your good listener, will make a world of difference to them, and it will ensure that they will always be around to “hear” you. You will miss your good listener. Good listeners are extraordinarily rare gems in today’s world.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I have a couple of friends who are going through a lot of life changes that have been thrust upon them, suddenly, surprisingly and forcefully. By our ages, we’ve all been there – probably more than once. And the last thing that anyone wants to hear during one of these “tossed out of the nest” moments is, “Oh wow, this experience really is a gift. As the Narrator said in Fight Club, “It’s Only After We’ve Lost Everything That We’re Free To Do Anything.”
That is truly the beauty of any moment, when you feel like life as you knew it, is falling away. You are no longer sitting tight in that warm little cocoon of your carefully prepared nest, and instead you are out in wide open space, flapping your wings desperately, not sure what direction to head in, other than not wanting to plunge down to your lowest depths. You are so scared, flapping fiercely in place, that you fail to see the amazing, wide open horizon that is available for you to soar in, and to fly in, in so many possible, exciting directions. In the initial “push out”, you often fail to realize the wide open beauty of the free skies, and you often fail to realize that you are still flying high, with the natural ability of your own strong, capable, experienced wings.
The Universe knows what it is doing. We humans often aren’t good at taking risks, trying to step out of our own little paradigms which we have created as orderly safehouses for ourselves. Much like we mothers innately know that eventually, in order to be good mothers, and in order to fulfill our motherly duties, we have to urge our little hatchlings out of the nest, the Universe does the same for us, on a much larger scale. The Universe understands our potential better than anyone, certainly better than our rational selves.
The initial “push out” from our various “nests” throughout our lifetime (starting when we leave the safety of our own mothers’ wombs), feels like a gut punch. Every. Single. Time. It’s at these times when our inner child starts screaming, “This is not fair!” And our inner child is right, life isn’t fair. But what our inner child forgets is that we are equipped to deal with the unfairness of it all. We are equipped with the ability to take really lousy situations and alchemize them into some of the most vital moments that have defined us, in our own lifetimes. We are filled with the strength to carry on, and to become versions of ourselves whom we love and whom we trust and whom we admire, like we never have before. And with each push-out of the various nests of our lives, we become better equipped with the confidence and the strength, to soar to authentic heights higher than we have ever before imagined. And in doing this for ourselves, we inspire other little birds who have just been pushed out of their nests, to see and to experience the divinity of soaring.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning. It’s Monday. Any future trippers, here? Anyone future tripping about this week, next week, next month?! It’s so easy to do, isn’t it? Just make an outline of your plans, fully understanding that some of these plans will be derailed, and surprises will happen – exciting and disappointing. Nothing will happen exactly as you have planned, and that is what makes life so interesting. Just lean on the fact that you are fully equipped to deal with whatever happens. You’ve proven it to yourself, again and again. Next week has been exhilarating . . . .
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I love this meme. Of course, it makes it seem so simple and easy, though. Just intellectualize your angry feelings and then calmly, explain and express them. You know, just stay rational. Ha! Anger has a ton of energy. There is a reason why anger is often symbolized by a raging fire. Anger often torches everything that comes in its path and makes no apologies while it is doing it.
What the meme is really expressing is to explain your anger as it comes, when it is still a little campfire, made out of just a little pile of kindling (frustrations). Of course, the hardest step is admitting to yourself that you are angry. We have turned anger into a mean, bad, crazy, hurtful, ugly emotion, but that’s because we bottle it up too much. Any emotion that is bottled up comes out ferociously. Rarely, does a bottled emotion just dissipate and evaporate. Instead, it eventually uncorks and overflows. Even bottled up happiness can look a little crazy and unhinged when it is finally expressed.
A great way to truly get to understand your own emotions, is to explain and describe them. This does not mean to explain and describe what situation that you think created your emotion, it means to describe and explain the actual emotion which you are feeling.
This morning I feel serene. Serene feels peaceful. My body feels rested. I don’t feel rushed. I feel “in the moment.” I am slowly and easily breathing. Having described what the feeling of serenity feels like, I can then explore what got me to this moment: a good night’s sleep, my husband bringing me coffee, an unscheduled morning.
This thoughtful exercise can work for any emotion, even anger. We notice physical pain in our bodies. In this same way, we can notice what emotion feels like in our bodies. By doing this, we get really familiar with ourselves, and our reactions. We can better control our emotions, when we understand them. We can better respond to situations that we understand, versus just randomly reacting with bottled up emotions that finally just explode outward from the pressures surrounding us.
Emotions aren’t bad, not even anger. They are just signals for us to explore our needs. If we treat our feelings with interest and dignity, they help to guide us to what is best for us, and for our relationships. We just have to remember to use our emotions as telling, introspective tools, versus maniacal, out-of-control weapons.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
