inspiration Archives - Page 47 of 80 - Adulting: Second- Half

Monday-Funday

Dear friends, please do not be concerned if you don’t get my usual daily blog post every day this week. The price which you pay for living in a land near the beach, with 90 percent sunshine, is an occasional, “I am going to scare the living daylights out of you” storm warning. (It’s not as bad as it seems. The last time we had to take a hurricane this seriously, in our part of Florida, was five years ago.) The truth is, I have been a Floridian long enough now, to be more annoyed than anything, about this hurricane. Don’t worry. We are safe. We have a plan. We would never leave our fur friends behind. I went to the grocery store on Saturday, and I was still miraculously able to snag some water, and some toilet paper, despite the emptying shelves. This too shall pass. (but thank you for the prayers and good juju coming our way – we’ll take ’em!)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Good morning. I played with my words today. I took the time to write my own poem today. (For my new readers (and welcome!), Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog.) My poem isn’t great, but it isn’t awful, and I feel excited to have woken up, and to have created something out of thin air. Create something this morning. Make an omelet. Write a poem. Draw a doodle. Plant a seed. Sundays are about doing the things that soothe our souls, and the things that awaken our most inspired energy. The world is a better place when we gift it, a small piece of our own inspired creativity and light.

Here’s my poem for today:

“Acceptance”

There’s a storm brewing.

It’s been stirring and tossing all of the ingredients,

Of a torrent, gloppy mess, for quite some time.

I’ve denied its existence, shading my eyes from its obvious glare.

I’ve railed against it. To come at us, like this, is terribly unfair.

I’ve tried to make a deal with the storm in my mind,

If you leave us alone, I promise to be kind.

I’ve cried about it, again and again.

Tears ruining the words, as I take this to pen.

Until finally, it all becomes incredibly clear.

Yes, there’s a storm brewing. The time is near,

And a quiet, still voice is softly whispering into my ear,

You shall survive all that this storm brings to you, my dear.

There is no peace felt, like the calm after a torrential, raging storm.

Perhaps these are the wise, parting gifts of storms that transform.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Intelligent Fun

“Creativity is intelligence having fun.” – Albert Einstein

“An expert is someone who is humble and disciplined enough to explore deeply for a long time. An expert is someone who cares more.” -@ValaAfshar, Twitter

Saturdays are perfect days to hone in on our creativity. Many of us are experts at our jobs, by the time we reach middle age, but what else are you an expert in? Do you allow yourself to create some expertise in your favorite hobbies? Some of my friends and acquaintances are experts at quilting, and butterfly releasing, and gardening, and biking, and working out, and meditation, and running, and dancing, and fantasy football, and water colors, and photography. What is something that feeds your soul enough that you have inadvertently become somewhat of an “expert” in it? Being an expert at something, doesn’t even mean that you have to be particularly great at your favored hobby or vocation or interest. Being an expert just means that you happen to know a great deal about your activity, and how to do it, because the process of exploring the said project/pursuit, and the actual doing of it, feeds your soul, and stops time for you, like so few other activities in your life are capable of doing. Being an expert at something, means that you have taken the time to fuel your passions. That’s called living life! Add to your creative expertise today. You won’t regret it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Fleeting

Good morning! Happy First Day of Fall! I had a little gut punch earlier this week. I walked into the Fresh Market and they had their cinnamon brooms up front. Every year since my daughter was probably in middle school, I would buy her one of those brooms for her room because she loves the smell of them. She would hang it on her ceiling fan and I would whack my head on it, more times than I can count, but I loved that the aromatic broom made her happy. I am not sure that her college roommate would love the strong scent of cinnamon as much as she does, but I’ll have to check in, to see if we should keep the tradition alive.

The Fresh Market also had their pumpkins in full display, right at the store’s entrance. Every year since middle school, my daughter had a tradition with a friend to meet at our home to carve pumpkins before Halloween. They always had elaborate and difficult designs in mind, but at the end of all, the girls usually got giggly and settled for simpler, conventional jack-o-lantern faces, along with good conversation and fancy coffees from Starbucks. This friend of my daughter’s wasn’t in her tightest circle. They never had classes together, and her friend was busy with the swim team, while my daughter was entrenched in the tennis team. Still, they always made time to get together to carve pumpkins, every single year.

Both of these young ladies now go to separate colleges far from each other. The carving tradition will no longer be possible to be kept. My daughter and her friend may see each other in passing, during future holiday outings – those occasional times when kids who went to high school together often reconnect. The friendship has changed, as all relationships do. Still, the memories will remain happy ones, for all of us.

I read an article over the weekend by Pema Chödrön, the proflic writer and Buddhist nun. She says this:

“Realizing the fleeting nature of everything and the freshness of every moment is equivalent to realizing that we’re always in a state of transition, an in-between state . . . Like a shooting star, a visual fault, a candle flame, an illusion, a dewdrop, a water bubble, a dream, lightning, a cloud . . . “

Chödrön teaches the importance of understanding that all phenomena is the same in our lives. Everything that we experience has a beginning, and then immediately starts the continuous process of changing, and at a certain point, will inevitably end. The nature of life is its “fleeting quality.” In other words, “change is the only constant.”

I don’t think that it’s in our human nature to gracefully accept life’s fleeting quality. The things which we love, we don’t want to be fleeting. And the things which we hate, we struggle against, and we resist, and then we try to force the fleeting to go faster. We have so much trouble letting go of control, and just being and experiencing. It’s the dual nature of our analytical minds. It’s the underbelly of being able to think and reason.

Right now, I am enjoying a peaceful morning, my dogs at my feet, as I write this post on my beloved blog. It is a still, calm, sun-filled morning here. I smile to myself, remembering the waft of cinnamon sticks, every past autumn day when I would wander into my daughter’s room. I smile at the memory of the crooked smiles of jolly jack-o-lanterns made by two young ladies who enjoyed each other’s company enough to make a point of inventing this tradition of “crafting” together every Halloween. This morning is well on its way of passing. It’s been a good morning. This morning is in the process of phasing into hopefully, an enjoyable, peaceful afternoon, and then at sunset, the day will draw to its inevitable close. This morning, this afternoon, this whole day will transform into a memory, as all things do. And that is the way of the fleeting nature of life and all things in it. But beautifully, the memories stay alive.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday-Funday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

I think this is why there is such an outpouring for the loss of Queen Elizabeth II. She didn’t sit on her throne of entitlement. She didn’t expect or demand people’s respect (while arguably, she had more “titles” and “higher up duties and obligations” and “familial roles” than almost anyone). She earned people’s respect. There are so many examples in life, where people have expectations of treatment just because they have a certain title or a function, and they believe that’s all it takes for others to bow down to them. And then they sit in their victim chairs and pout, when they don’t get the respect which they think that they “deserve.” That’s not how life works. Respect is earned through our actions, our values, and how we treat others. Respect is not “a given”, just because of the titles and roles one has in life.

RIP, dear Queen Elizabeth II

You have earned our respect.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good morning. Tranquility. Peacefulness. Wisdom. Acceptance. Deep knowing and appreciation. Awe. Gratefulness. Love. Unrelenting hope. Comfort. Health. Music in your heart. These are the things that I wish for you, on this lovely Sunday morning. Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Sometimes I write a poem and sometimes I find poems which other writers have written that are just plain magical. Please witness the magic below:

Taken after a big storm in Florida, about a week after the New Mexico sunset

Stronger People

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Yesterday I was driving my car and I was about to turn into a shopping center. Out of nowhere, another driver swerved around me and cut in front of me, causing me to have to slam on my brakes. I know that this action deserved a good honking, but I am a terrible honker. I usually get too flustered and I often wonder what honking out of anger and astonishment will really do, since the dirty deed has already been done. Further, I know that I have done some idiotic moves while driving in times past, so my thought is usually to just let these things go.

What delighted me though, was that another driver who had witnessed the whole scene, gave an aghast look at the driver who had cut me off, and then gave me a look of communal exasperation. We both held up our hands and shook our heads, and then smiled knowingly at each other. I love it when people stand up for other people, especially strangers. I felt, in that moment, that someone else, whom I didn’t even know, cared about an injustice which had happened to me. It warmed me enough to write about it.

Rug Bumps

credit: @TrainingMindful, Twitter

I don’t have much to write today. I am more in a pondering mood today. I do know that the meme above is true. It is an extremely difficult skill to bring up “hard things”, and to discuss them in a meaningful, healthy, helpful manner. And I also know that I haven’t mastered this skill yet, but it is something that I am working on, and I constantly do so. For healthy relationships with others, and with yourself, this skill is vital. And if “the difficult conversations” are ignored, dysfunction goes on and on and on, sometimes for generations. These days, there is a lot of talk about breaking cycles. Dysfunctional cycles aren’t broken when there is a lot of bumpy terrain underneath the rug.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Spanky

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

I’m at an IHOP this morning. I haven’t been to IHOP in forever. I was concerned that they wouldn’t be open this early, but then I saw the sign (OPEN 24/7). How comforting! I love the idea that lonely people almost anywhere, could probably find an IHOP, and sit among other people, any time, day or night. As I stated in yesterday’s post, reliable, steadfast, stable, consistent people and institutions are our national treasures. These are the things and the people and the conditions that are so unassuming and behind-the-scenes that you forget to be grateful for them. But in the end, the things that are so dependable that we often take them for granted, are the things that are missed the most when they are gone. Didn’t the pandemic make this abundantly clear?

Walking into this restaurant, I giggled to myself thinking of a family memory when our children were little. We took our family to a Waffle House for breakfast, which is a similar establishment to IHOP. Our server looked at our youngest son, and he smiled and he said, “Now, what can I get for you, Spanky?” We all laughed until our stomachs hurt, with this new nickname for our little guy, which seemed kind of fitting at the time. To this day, on occasion, my husband still likes to call our 6’2″, strapping, almost 22 year-old youngest son, “Spanky,” and we all laugh remembering this shared memory. It’s part of our family folklore. A stranger has no idea that he created a long-lasting, fun, happy, element to our family’s story.

Yesterday, I picked up our dry cleaning and as I was leaving, the clerk said, “Thank you for being kind.” I had noticed nothing unusual about the pleasantries that we shared. Honestly, I felt like I had been a little distracted. But I am a naturally friendly person. I have a hard time containing myself in my body, if that makes sense. My emotions tend to bubble over and thankfully, I am usually in a good mood. I am happy that she found me to be “kind” in a day that she probably needed some kindness. Think of all of the times, strangers did or said, just the right thing for you, on a day that you needed it so badly, that you couldn’t help but question whether that person had perhaps been an angel on earth, sent specifically to you. Treasure those moments. Send love and good energy to all of those strangers who are currently coming to your mind. I know that there is more than one. Remember to be that “angel”, too. Don’t wait for the “work order” from Heaven. It’s already implied.

Mother Bear

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

My husband was giddy yesterday, talking about the football games that had happened over the weekend with his officemates. Mondays at the office can be rough, yet my husband seemed to be in a particularly good mood. Football is a unifier. Even if you aren’t a big sports fan, you still usually have “a team” because it is the team of the city where you live, or your city of birth, or the university you attended. You identify with your team and your fellow fans. You feel united with an energy bigger than yourself.

I know that this overwhelming outpouring for the Queen of England, before she is put to rest with Prince Philip, is hard for some people to understand. There is a reason why western civilization has evolved away from monarchies and aristocracies. The Queen herself was essentially a figurehead, yielding not much more than what they call “soft power”, which is more of an influence, than any right to demand. And there are a lot of questions as to whether the monarchy is even necessary, or should be supported, considering its sometimes sordid past.

I believe that the grief which is being shown over the death of Queen Elizabeth, the world over, is an outpouring of the loss of a long-standing, consistent, unflappable, dedicated being whom anyone could claim as their own favorite, if they so chose. In a world so full of change that seems to be happening at the speed of light, a world so full of stark polar opposition in our politics, a world that seems to be questioning and rewriting so many of our long standing traditions, laws, and rituals, we cling to the things that are steadfast. We cling to the people and the things that will be there for us, in some form or other, no matter what else is happening. We cling to football, and “the holidays”, and pizza, and classic movies and ageless songs, and the moon and the stars, and all of the things that have stood the test of time, because these are the things that unite us, and the things that we can mostly agree on (even with playful rivalries). In a world of heightened disagreement and divisiveness, we cling to the things that we can all dedicate ourselves to – we cling to the things that are available to all of us, to claim as our own. We cling to anything that reminds us that despite all of our differences, we all make up one humanity. We cling to the people and the institutions which allow us the shared security and enthusiasm to unite with each other, and to band together over shared loves and losses.

The whole world seems to have lost a symbolic, steadfast grandmother when Queen Elizabeth died. Just like our own grandmothers, she wasn’t perfect. She made mistakes. But she was utterly dedicated and dutiful to her family, to her responsibilities, and to what was required of her. There was no question that the Queen was on the watch, and she wasn’t going to stop, until it was time for her to pass on. I think that so many of us can relate. So many of us have been supported by strong, determined women, who see “their duties” out to the very end, with a steely dedication to do right, by what life has required of them. I mean no disrespect to my male readers here, but in my experience, it comes more naturally for women to fully dedicate themselves to something more than just themselves. Look at nature. No one wants to run into a mother bear. We have lost a universal mother bear. This hollow sadness and almost disbelief which so many of us are feeling about this loss of the longstanding queen – this sadness is something that actually unites us. And that is why we are carrying on our grief, as long as we can. Feeling united feels good, even in times of pain.