Tag: inspiration

Sweetest Part

I have a friend who is going through a really tough time. What is the most comforting thing someone has ever said to you? (Seriously, please share your answers in my Comments section, if you can.) These are the times that you really fumble for the right words. Everything seems like it is the wrong thing to say. Everything seems to come out “wrong.” I guess the constant mantra in words and deeds is, “I’m here. I care. I’m here. I care. I’m here. I care . . . . “

In happier reflections, what I DO love about having my adult children back home is witnessing their maturity. Once kids have had to do their own grocery shopping, cook their own food, do their own dishes, do their own laundry, etc. etc., it’s amazing how much quicker they are to lend a hand at home and/or to lavish some real appreciation for when these things are done for them. It feels good to see the blooms of maturity in your babies. It’s the sweetest part of the “bittersweet” ingredients of experiencing your children growing up and maturing.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Ice SCREAM

I’m delayed writing this post because my daughter was telling me all about her experience last night – her first night at her new summer job at a local beach ice cream shop. It’s a busy place. Time will fly. My daughter said that what she’s most amazed about is how much work there is behind the scenes in one of these little specialty shops. Most of her work will be in the preparation, the cleaning and the stocking. Serving customers an ice cream cone is actually a small part of it all.

This reminded me of a parable I recently read. A speaker asked a group of people how much time it takes to get a cheeseburger at McDonalds. Most people answered that it takes between 3-5 minutes. The speaker reminded everyone that someone had to grow the wheat and then bake the buns, grow and cut the onions, make the ketchup from tomatoes, butcher the beef, and then form the patties. Then a truck driver had to get all of the ingredients to the local McDonalds, where workers had to put the items into the freezers and refrigerators, then cook the burgers and wrap them up, etc. etc. The point is, nothing in this world is as easy as the finished product makes it appear to us. A photograph of one happy moment in a family’s life is not even close to the entire story of events, and experiences, and ups and downs, and sacrifices, and worries and joys that make up any family. Everything in life takes longer and more effort, and more hands and hearts, all the way around, in order to create it, than we want to believe that it does. Finished products can be so deceiving. Don’t expect ease, and quick fixes for anything that is worthwhile to have in your life. Even fast food hamburgers and ice cream cones take many hands, and a lot of time and energy, in order to get you to the finished product.

When you are frustrated about something that you want to create and manifest in your own life and it is taking a lot of time and effort with no end in sight, whether it be with a job, or a relationship, or an accomplishment, remind yourself that most things don’t come easy. Ultimately though, the effort, and the discipline, the time and energy and focus, and the blood sweat and tears, is usually the part of what makes any completed end product so especially satisfying to savor and to enjoy. (Do you want whipped cream and a cherry on top? Let me go milk a cow and pick some cherries.)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Credit: @woofknight, Twitter

My adult kids and their friends were talking and laughing about their latest experiences with job recruiters the other day, so I thought that this meme was a good one to share for a Monday chortle.

I am having the same experience that I had many, many years ago, when my youngest child first went to kindergarten and I got used to a full school year of the house all to myself during the day . . . . and then summer arrived. My youngest two children are here, for this month, after many, many months of it being just my husband and I here at home. It goes without saying, that we adore our children and there are a lot of good things about having them back home with us again. But then there are sayings like “What I don’t know, can’t hurt me,” that ring true when your adult children come back to live with you.

Since starting our family, summer has always been the season of adjustment. Summer is the pausal season before autumn comes up and cranks up the regular routine once again. Some day, when all of our children are done with their secondary schooling and fully into their own adult lives, perhaps summer won’t be such a noticeable change in our lives. Despite getting a glimpse of that possibility, it turns out that my husband and I just aren’t quite ‘there’ yet. So we will soldier on . . .

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Antiquities

It struck me the other day that we go all over the world in order to see ancient things. We have museums full of antiquities. We stand in awe of unbelievably ornate and intricate churches and buildings that have strongly, and dependably existed throughout centuries. We gape at ancient works of art, and handle them so gingerly and respectfully. We muse that all of these venerable creations are unrepeatable and priceless. These antiquities hold so much of our history, and so, we in turn hold these relics and monuments in the highest of esteem. The fact is, most of the most beautiful things in our world, both human creations and quite frankly, also the things of nature, are incredibly old.

Why then, don’t we hold the same esteem for our elders? Why don’t we respect and honor and feel grateful for the aging of our own selves? We love the older artifacts because they are a testament to their ability to hold on, and to regally exist for a long period of time. These older things are the basis for everything that has come after them. Our own older selves are an accumulation of many years of life, and experiences, and the wisdom that hopefully is that outcome of these years and happenings.

Treat and respect your aging self, and the aging selves of others, as you do these lovely museum pieces that you have visited throughout your lifetime. You are a one-and-only, a one-of-a-kind masterpiece whom the world is blessed to experience. As you age, you are only more precious. Know this, and know this about others, and hold your head up regally and gratefully. Knowingly allow the wisdom of your years to glow serenely for all of those around you to catch their breath in awe of your beauty, and of your grace, and of your inherent knowledge of so many different eras in time.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Just Decide

I read an excellent piece by Jill Donovan yesterday, discussing decision making when the answers just don’t seem particularly clear. She gave an example of her daughter trying to choose between two colleges, that she had been accepted to attend. Her daughter did the tried and true “Pros/Cons” and “Advantages/Disadvantages” lists about her decision, and yet the answer was still not completely clear to her. Jill wrote this:

“This is because life’s complexities cannot always be simplified into tidy lists of advantages and disadvantages. If every decision could be made so effortlessly, our lives would lack the vibrant tapestry of experiences that provide us the opportunity to rely fully on and deepen our trust in God.” 

We get so many conflicting messages about how to make decisions. “The mind can play tricks on you.” “Trust your gut.” “Feelings are not facts.” We get so caught up in trying to find the “perfect answer”, that we forget that very often, more than just one path can lead us to our destination. There isn’t necessarily just one, ‘right’ decision. And even if we get off course, the ever-patient Universe has a way of guiding us back to where we need to be, when we willingly surrender to the Great Compass inside of us.

When making decisions it is best to use our analytical minds, but also to listen to the sensations in our bodies. Holiday Mathis recently reminded her readers of this wise tome: “How you feel around someone is as important as how you feel about them.” We can love, and admire, and be totally charmed by different characters in our life, who are really not particularly healthy for us to have relationships with, in our daily lives. I remember many, many years ago, my sister-in-law was deciding between two men whom she was dating. She told me that the first guy looked “great on paper”. He checked all the right boxes. But the other guy, just felt great to be with, like the perfect “glove-in-hand” fit.” Spoiler alert: My sister-in-law is happily married to, and has spent many adventures with (including raising two sons and living in Australia for a few years) the “perfect fit” guy, for a few decades now.

When making a decision, using the mind, and creating plus/minus checklists can be very helpful and wise. Feeling what decision most resonates with our guts, and which decision feels most peaceful and “right” to our Inner Compass, is also important to pay attention to, and to figure into the decision. However, in the end, if the answer is still not entirely clear, it is best to make a decision and move on, with a deep faith that Greater Forces will gently steer us, and keep us “on track” to the lessons, epiphanies, experiences and destinations that are meant for each of our individual lives.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Worry Train

When my husband and I were in Italy the last couple of weeks, we did a better job of letting go of our everyday cares and concerns than we probably ever have, in our shared lifetime of over thirty years of loving each other. We called the trip, “a gift to ourselves”, to celebrate raising our family to adulthood. And we took indulging in this gift, quite seriously. Before we even left for our adventure, I implored our grown, adult children to please not contact us with anything other than dire emergencies. I asked them to lean on each other while we were away.

My husband made a gallant effort to leave work at the office, to the delight of both of us. We truly allowed ourselves to get lost in the every moments of adventure and novelty and pure delight. Of course, geographic distance, a busy traveling schedule, plenty of interesting distractions, and a large time difference helped with this ability to let go of our everyday responsibilities, but in our last couple days there, I suggested to my husband that perhaps we could bring some of this wonderful relief of letting go, back to our regular everyday lives. He enthusiastically agreed.

And yet, soon after I got home, I found myself jumping right back on to The Worry Train. Does my son, who is in medical school, seem a tad more stressed than I remember? Is my youngest son on top of everything that he has to get done (including being in a wedding) before he moves into his new apartment and starts his new job next month? Why is my daughter so sick again? Was it terrible that she lived in that old, mildewy dormitory her freshman year? Is my eldest as content with his work situation as he claims? Will my husband be slammed at his work, and have to work late hours to make everything up? Have I caught up on my friends’ issues and concerns, and have I shown enough care? What appointments do I need to set up? How do I immediately lose all of the extra weight I have gained from vacation and beyond? Did our dogs eat enough while we were gone and are they seemingly depressed? . . . . . blah, blah, blah. The Worry Train has a constant soundtrack playing in my mind that never, ever skips a beat. The Worry Train loves to hand me baggage to hold on to, that usually isn’t even mine to carry. And for years and years and years, I have traveled on The Worry Train, almost oblivious to the fact that I have the ability to step off of it, anytime that I want.

I think one of the best things which my recent travel experience gave to me, was the gift of contrast. I was able to clearly see that the world still turns, and the adults whom I care about (including my children, my friends and my loved ones) capably live their own lives, whether I am desperately circling them on The Worry Train, or whether I am capably, and happily, and confidently living my own life adventures. When I deliberately disembark from The Worry Train, and the soothing soundtrack of “All is Well” is playing in the back of my mind, the travel of my own life flows a whole lot easier, and my travel companions also seem much more at ease from my own breezy example.


“Trains changed – conductors never did.” – Harper Lee

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Credit: Gregorio Catarino, Twitter

When our recent vacation came to its close, I was reminded of the Dr. Seuss phrase that my friend always uses at the endings of happy events and gatherings, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

On the other hand, when difficult things are happening, I often remind myself, and my family, and my friends, that our lives are really just the vast, blue sky and the clouds always, always pass. This visual always comforts me with its pure truth.

We brought our youngest child, our only daughter, home for the summer, from college yesterday. She successfully completed her freshman year. We enter a new passageway of being home together, when all of us are used to living our own individual lives. There is always an adjustment period during times like these, but I slept soundly and happily last night knowing that she was safely under our roof once again.

Today is May Day. For many cultures today marks the beginning of spring. Today, we enter yet another fresh new passageway into the journey of our lives. Smile for all the good times which lie behind you and that will always be a small part of you, hope for and excitedly anticipate all of the unknown adventures that lie ahead of you, and know that if you do hit a patch of black clouds, these clouds will pass. They always do.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

I’m Baaaaack!

I’ve missed you, my dear friends and readers! I am writing this in an entirely zombie-fied state (we got in at 3 a.m. last night), and I probably shouldn’t be writing this at all, and yet I must. I have been yearning to put down in words, so much of what I have experienced in the last ten days or so. And I have desperately missed writing the blog (and you) so very much! I will tell you now that my husband and I are back home, and we are safe and satiated. My husband and I just did a whirlwind “second honeymoon/damn, we raised four amazing kids and we still really dig each other/congratulations, and now, here’s a gift to us and for only us” trip to Italy. We had both been to Italy when we were small children, but never until now, had we experienced Italy as adults. So for all intents and purposes, it was our first trip to Italy. And Italy is everything that it is cracked up to be. And more. And more and more and more. It goes without saying that the Italian food and wine are unbeatable. (one of the first things we did when we got home was to throw away all of our atrocious, plastic bottled BOGO grocery store olive oil. The real thing arrived today from Pruneti in Florence!) The Italian people are kind, upbeat, gorgeously nose-up proud and defiant, and yet hilariously self-deprecating all at once, and hospitable, and charming and beyond accommodating. The Italians are lovely, intoxicating people. The antiquities of Italy are exhaustingly marvelous (Europe is easily the capital of sensory overload). The gelato is addicting (my effort to repeat my nightly gelato with last night’s 3 a.m. Drumstick out of box, with freezer burn, was sadly disappointing and pathetic). The Tuscan countryside seems too beautiful to be real, and when we were at the coastal area in Cinque Terre, I truly had become convinced that I had fallen into a gorgeous painting hanging on a museum wall. There were many times that I had to pinch myself, and I questioned whether I had somehow been hit by one of the many zippy Vespas that had buzzed around us like flies, and that I had somehow easily and quickly died, and luckily, I had skipped the morose parts, and suddenly, I had arrived in a charming, indulgent version of Heaven, full of beauty, pasta, gelato, bread, and wine. (yes, I do think that I deserve to go to Heaven . . . for the most part)

I have so much to digest. I have so much to recount. I have so much to be grateful for having experienced. But, I was also admittedly eager to get home to my precious, grown-up, stateside, busy with their own lives, babies. And home to my devoted fur babies. And home to my plant babies and to my own comfortable bed. And to free flowing water, and to free flowing boring American coffee, and to easily accessible restrooms of a generous size. And I was so eager to open up my precious blog, and to reconnect to the blog’s treasured, loyal readers. Thank you for allowing me my pause. Thank you for allowing me to recalibrate, and to disappear for a little bit into one of my life’s adventures. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for staying with me. I believe that it will be worth it.

I missed you. I’m back. I’ll see you tomorrow! Ciao!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Notice

Dear friends and readers,

I have never done this before, since I started writing the blog in 2018, but I have decided to take the rest of the month off from writing the blog. My husband and I have some adventures planned that we can finally partake in. We had planned to celebrate the raising of our four children to adulthood, a little earlier than this (our youngest started college last year) but we had to deal with health issues of extended family members and the death of my husband’s mother. It’s been A LOT and I don’t think that we have fully processed everything that has happened, and what we have gone through. We need an “escape time” for a little while.

I write this blog every single day. On rare occasions, I have written a blog post the night before, but that doesn’t feel genuine to me. I see this blog as an extension of me, and where I am at in the moment. It’s not a business. It’s an outpouring of my thoughts and my feelings. Where I am at right now emotionally, is a mix of proud celebration and relief, and desperately needing a break from my usual.

I hope that you won’t leave me. You can look at my archives to understand my consistent, loyal nature. I have every intention of coming back to the blog, feeling refreshed and optimistic about this stage of my life, and with a lot of adventures to write about.

I hope to “see” you around these parts again in May. I honestly hope that you will miss me. I know that I will miss you.

Sincere love,

Kelly

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Wednesday’s Whimsies

+ This is a limpkin. When in mating season, male limpkins scream (literally scream – people often confuse their screams of that of a hurt child) all day and all night in order to attract the lady limpkins, and to make it clear that the area that they are screaming in, is their territory. There is no mistaking that a screaming male limpkin means business. There is a local limpkin who has decided that the small lake on the other side of our backyard is his territory. Sigh.

+ I learned a great new word this week: farrago. It means “a confused mixture.” It’s like a fancier, more sophisticated way to say “hodgepodge” or “mishmash.” At times when I feel like my own life is a confused mixture (and that is more often than I like to admit), I think that I will use the term “farrago”. This word makes it sound like I still have everything under control.

+ My friends and I were at Carrabba’s last night celebrating a birthday, and Carrabba’s has a special going on that if you order a meal in-house, you can get another meal to take home for the next day, for only $10 (which is less than half their usual price for meals). So, I am really looking forward to Chicken Parm for lunch today. I don’t know how long this special lasts but you might want to check it out.

+ I am extremely disappointed with Dalai Lama, and the video circulating of him asking a young boy to “suck his tongue.” As the saying goes, “Never meet your heroes.” What I think is more important is, be careful who you make your “heroes.” Shouldn’t anyone whom we consider to be a “hero” be someone whom we know very well, and with whom we have had extensive personal experience with? Or maybe having heroes really isn’t a good idea at all. All humans are fallible. Perhaps it is best to work being your own hero.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.