Tag: inspiration

The Question

I was reminded recently of an excellent, clarifying question to ask yourself about a situation that you feel muddled and conflicted about. It is a question that will help you to get really clear on your own deepest desires. This is not to say that this should be the only criteria when making major decisions, but it gives you a starting point as to pointing you to what you really want, and helps you to go from there. Here is the question:

“What would you do if it was only possible for you to take your own happiness into account?”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1910. What is the most expensive thing you have ever lost?

Quit Time

I just read an article about “emotional quitting.” This is usually the major predecessor to any kind of official quitting, whether it be a job, or a relationship, or a hobby, a project, a life direction, a religion, etc. “Emotional quitting” looks like just “going through the motions”, but not really investing any energy, or plans towards something going forward. Emotional quitting means you have lost interest and desire for something or for someone who used to excite you and used to help you to grow and blossom. Sometimes when you emotionally quit an experience, you just can’t find the fire to ignite your passion again, even if you are desperately trying to do so. You feel detached and indifferent.

Emotionally quitting is usually a long, slow process. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s just little chips which are chiseled away without anything else put in place to replenish the energy stream towards it. Emotionally quitting something is rarely a rash, overnight, dramatic decision. It happens so slowly that we often don’t realize that we have been in the process of quitting, until we are already there. Most experiences that we “officially” quit have long, long been quit emotionally by us, before we have the courage to make it “official.” Emotional quitting is often a quiet process, versus a loud, dramatic bang.

Today’s world puts a big emphasis on the need to be conscious and self-aware, in order to stay mentally and emotionally healthy in a quickly-changing world. This is vitally important in a time where life is changing so rapidly with technology innovations, and a myriad of opportunities that our ancestors simply did not have, to contemplate and to experience. There has never been a more important time in history, to emphasize the need to take a pause, and to reflect on where we are going, and where we want to end up. So, in this light, take the time to contemplate any “emotional quitting” that is occuring in your own life. What has grown stale in your life? Which of these areas are worth revitalizing, and how would you take steps to do this? Has it come time to face that it might be time to “officially” quit something that you have emotionally abandoned a long time ago? What are your beliefs about “quitting” and are these beliefs helpful or hindering to you? What are your true values and priorities, and are you actually living them? What is holding you back? What are your fears and reservations? How long has your “emotional quitting” been happening? What is capturing your energy and vitality instead? Where are you feeling indifferent? If you feel listless and indifferent, all the way around, could this point to a physical/mental condition that should be addressed?

This is a tough read, I know. We don’t want to face change in our lives, even though we all know that “change is the only constant.” We often emotionally quit things to make it easier to finally cut the final tie, and “officially” quit. Our emotions are our built in navigation system. Strong emotions point us to what is important to us. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is “indifference.” Get real with yourself about which parts of your life you are emotionally withdrawing from, and decide what you want to do about it. You deserve an intentionally full and vital life.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1457. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

The Emotional Body

In my morning readings today, two ideas really stuck out for me. The first idea is about “embracing the contradictions.” It is quite possible to feel opposite feelings about the same experience, all at the same time. This is particularly true during the major transition times in our lives which mark endings and new beginnings, such as graduations, weddings, births, moving houses, divorces, funerals, retirements, etc. We often stamp, “This is how I’m supposed to feel,” onto certain situations and then we sometimes feel shame if we feel some “relief” when we think we should only be “sad”, or we feel shame if we feel “fear”, when we think we should be “happy.” Contradictory feelings are messy. They bring about things like “happy tears” or “pride and melancholy.” Contradictory feelings are hard to sort, because perhaps, they are not really supposed to be sorted and ordered. We have a lot of volume available in our emotional bodies. We can feel all sorts of feelings all at once, and in no particular order. When we accept the normalcy of messy, contradictory feelings, we can remain the calm center of the storm. And we can let our experiences wash over us in every color and sensation which they are supposed to happen to us. We can experience what happens in our lives both fully and open-heartedly, knowing that we will be better and more evolved for doing so.

Similar to this thought, I read about the difference between the emotion generated by delusions versus emotions created by true perceptions. How many times have you gotten yourself into a angsty tangle because you believed a story that you created in your head about a person, or a situation, or an experience, which you later found out to be untrue? We do this all of the time. We have very good imaginations. “Our neighbor doesn’t like us.” “The house down the street is haunted.” “Someone stole my scissors.” And if we aren’t feeling all that imaginative, there are all sorts of “news sources” which can help us out, to spur on delusional thinking. And then we feel the same horrible emotions we would feel, as if the situations were actually true. Emotions require a great deal of energy. Emotions also have a tendency to spur on our minds to create more fearsome, troublesome stories, in order to support their ongoing turbulence. Emotions love to run hot and strong. Emotions love to be felt. Emotions love it when they even start to affect our physical bodies, with stomach aches and headaches, and other other aches and pains and chills. Bottom line, there is nothing wrong with feeling emotion. Just make sure that you are honest with yourself, by noticing if you are expending your emotional energy on the truth versus on falsehoods. Be as mindful where you put your thoughts and your emotions, as to where you put your other resources, such as your money and your time. Pay attention. Be in the moment. All of these things are what makes up the experience of daily life, which ultimately is the whole of your life.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1429. What is standing between you and one of your biggest dreams?

Tuesday’s Tidbits

It’s fascinating to me how the focus in our lives change, even if the circumstances don’t change that much. Something in our life grabs our attention like a project, or a trip, or a goal, or a crisis, or a pain, or a sickness, etc. and that situation takes the spotlight, even though everything else is happening pretty much like it would every other day. Right now, my focus is on my stuffed up head, and so everything else that was either bothering me or interesting me, has gone into the background. But soon this annoying sinus infection will pass, and I will be on to new irritations and intrigues. Such is the way of life. This is what is meant by, “This too shall pass . . .”

Here are some gems that I found in some of my inspiration notebooks that I thought that I would pass on for today (None of these are my own. I’m sorry for those quotes which are lacking credit. I’ve kept these notebooks for years, namely for myself, and shamefully, I was often lapse about writing down the source.):

+ “This is your permission to stop looking to be liked by people who don’t even like themselves.” – Nicole LaPera

+ “The shortest answer to your question: What would someone who loved him or herself do?” – Alan Cohen

+ “What comes at you, comes from you.” – Bert Winn

+ “A toxic situation is more likely to change you than you are to change it. Get out.”

+ “Honesty without kindness is cruelty. But kindness without honesty is manipulation.”

+ “You don’t get to pick the consequences of your actions.”

+ “Sometimes when you are invited, you’re still not welcomed. Know the difference.” – Wise Connector, X

+ “There are four natural sanctuaries: silence, solitude, stillness and simplicity.” – Brianna Wiest

+ “The light heart lives long.”

+ “Not what we have, but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance.” – Jean Antoine Petit-Senn

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2220. Which foreign language did you have to learn at school?

I’m Okay

Hi readers and friends. Judging from concerned texts which I have been receiving from some of my inner circle who are also Adulting-Second Half faithfuls, I felt the need to come to let you know that I am fine, and I hope to be back to my regular daily blogging by Monday, at the latest. Unfortunately, I came down with a doozy of a virus on Monday night and it has knocked me off of my feet. Throughout this past week, I have been miserable, fatigued, bummed, annoyed and mostly, extremely listless. I finally succumbed to going to the doctor on Friday who confirmed that my virus had turned into a mess of two ear infections and a sinus infection, and she swiftly put me on antibiotics and steroids. The medications are starting to kick in. I still don’t have a lot of energy, but I have pain relief and thankfully, my head no longer feels like it is going to explode.

My daughter left for her summer study abroad studies in London earlier this week, and so I suppose, in missing her and feeling the need to channel her, with my utter lack of energy, I firmly sat on my little brown couch, with little brown dog, and I mostly binge watched most of The Crown, all week long. (I may be one of the few women left on Earth, who has never seen The Crown before this week.) In doing so, my curiosity lead me to reading this book: Lady in Waiting: My Extraordinary Life in the Shadow of the Crown by Anne Glenconner. It is the true story of a member of the British aristocracy who served as a lady-in-waiting for Princess Margaret for 30 years, and she also was one of Queen Elizabeth’s attendants when the queen was coronated in 1953. It is an honest, candid, highly readable book which was written in 2020, when the author was in her eighties (The author is still writing books, now at the age of 91). I could not put the book down. I expected to be disgusted and off-put by her accounts, but instead I found her biography intriguing, fascinating and oddly, sometimes even relatable. No matter what our station in life is, we women all juggle what it means to be women in service not only to ourselves but also to our husbands/partners, families and communities, all while being strongly influenced, and sometimes limited, by societal expectations.

Coming here to the blog, for the first time since Tuesday morning, despite being utterly played out, has made me realize how much I’ve missed writing it, and feeling a connection with you, my readers. I missed you! Thank you for the well wishes and concern. I pride myself on my robust immune system and I am not used to being “kept down” this long, but I believe that the body has a wisdom of its own and I am willing to succumb to this wisdom and healing that only true rest and surrender has to offer.

Good night, friends. I am headed to bed. I will be back “in form” by Monday. <3

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1217. Are you being true to yourself?

Intro/Extro

I have an extroverted weekend coming up that I am already starting to dread. People often don’t believe me when I say that I am an introvert. I present like an extrovert when I am out in public, but it takes a lot of energy for me to psych myself up for big parties, events, gatherings, etc. I usually have a wonderful time at these functions. I am usually pleasantly surprised about how nice of time I have had, but typically, I am mostly more pleased to have the function (and the dread leading up to it) completed, and checked off, and no longer on my anticipating mind.

wcraider responded to this tweet with this:

“It’s like a light switch that has to be turned off so I can decompress and recharge.”

Anyone can present like an extrovert. The difference is that an extrovert gets their energy recharged being with people, while an introvert gets their energy recharged in solitude. Even still, I think it is important for both extroverts and introverts to get a mix of both social time and solitude. It’s good to get out of our comfort zones sometimes.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

558. If you could read minds, whose would you read first?

Closed Doors

I read this prayer the other day. It really is beautiful:

Buddhist Prayer of Forgiveness

If I have harmed anyone in any way either knowingly or unknowingly
through my own confusions I ask their forgiveness.

If anyone has harmed me in any way either knowingly or unknowingly
through their own confusions I forgive them.

And if there is a situation I am not yet ready to forgive
I forgive myself for that.

For all the ways that I harm myself, negate, doubt, belittle myself,
judge or be unkind to myself through my own confusions
I forgive myself.

I was flipping through podcasts yesterday as I was doing some household chores and I heard a man briefly talking about when we go through certain doors in life, once you go through these doors, they shut behind you and you cannot go back. “Coming of age” is one of those doors. Any major experience that has had a huge impact on our perspective of people, of ourselves, and of the world itself, is one of those heavy, ironclad doors. Because even if you call a master locksmith and you pry the door open, and you try to go back to where you came from, what you see behind the door, will not be the same. You don’t have the same eyes nor the same heart looking at the experience anymore. Sometimes we make really conscious decisions to reach for the heavy handle, and to walk through one of these doors, full well-knowing that we will never be the same, once we do it. Sometimes we are forced through these doors by experiences which we had no control over, and even if we bang and bang on the door, we cannot go back. It takes bravery to walk away into the future from closed doors. We do it a lot in life. We are brave beings. We journey forward, through winding paths between closed doors, one step at a time. Beautiful prayers ease the way.

Picture credit: Guillaume Issaly

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1028. What proved to be a game changer in your life?

Soul Sunday

Good morning and what a beautiful morning it is here. I wish the same for you. Sundays on the blog are devoted to the talk of the heart and soul (poetry). Listen to your heart and soul today. Write yourself a poem. Make a beautiful connection with yourself. Here is my poem for today:

This is peace.

Light snore of dogs.

Sunlit pattern on the floors.

Easy breezes in the palms.

Lightly tinkling wind chimes.

Easy breathing, no aches or pains.

Unscheduled time.

Choices in the pantry.

Unconflicted mind.

Worries in faraway closed, dark drawers.

Seeping gratitude for all of the love in my life.

This is peace.

Peace is this.

Peace is noticing the good.

And soaking it in.

Becoming one with it.

Peace is truth.

I am peace.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

785. Do you believe in aliens?

The 4th

My friend shared this beautiful writing by Cody Bret (see below). It is such a good reminder to not take things personally and to just to be your true authentic self. Always, always focus on the relationship that you have with yourself and make sure that it is a nurturing, kind relationship. The relationship that you have with yourself, is the most important relationship which you will ever have, and it helps to determine the quality of relationships that you will have with others. It is also good to remember that sometimes people just don’t have more room in their lives to foster and to keep any more deep, consuming relationships, and so they can be quite fond of you, and yet still not be available for the depth of relationship which you would like to have with them, and that often has NOTHING to do with how they perceive you. Finally, if you do have a visceral strong opinion about someone else, it’s always a good idea to explore those feelings. Underneath hate, dislike, discomfort is often a big mound of pain and recognition, asking for some healing. Often the people we despise are angels in disguise, leading us to our greatest mending and personal insights.

The way people view you.

Sometimes I think about the different characters I play in everybody’s story.

I’m a terrible person in some people’s narratives and a Godsend in others.⠀⠀⠀

And none of it has anything to do with the person I truly am. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

The lens that others view you through is coloured by their upbringing, beliefs, and individual experiences.⠀⠀⠀⠀

Some people see your bright personality as endearing and others see it as annoying.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Some people think you’re weak and emotional and others feel safe to be themselves around you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Some people think you’re rude and selfish and others respect the way you stand up for yourself.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Some people admire the way you take pride in the way you look and others think you’re conceited.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

And none of it has to do with who you truly are as a person.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

What you have to understand is that you have no authority over how people view you so never try to control the way others see you because the only thing that truly matters when the dust settles down at the end of the day is what you genuinely see in yourself.

~ Cody Bret

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1224. What’s your biggest challenge in the mornings?

Friday’s Stacked Up

Credit: Redbubble.com

Good morning! Happy Friday!! Happy Best Day of the Week!! On Fridays, I keep things light and syrupy. On Fridays, I discuss things that make life, the art which we live. I like this quote that I read this morning:

“I know artists whose medium is life itself, and who express the inexpressible without brush, pencil, chisel, or guitar. They neither paint nor dance. Their medium is Being. Whatever their hand touches has increased life. They are the artists of being alive.” – Frederick Franck

In my mind, Fridays are an especially good day to focus on the art of being alive. On Fridays, I discuss my favorite things in life, and today, my favorite is frozen pancakes by De Wafelbakkers. These are easy, convenient, delicious, medallion sized pancakes that come in all different flavors. They are wrapped in small stacks and all you have to do is zap them in the microwave for a few seconds and they are ready to be served. If you just need a little sweetness in your morning, one chocolate chip or blueberry De Wafelbakker pancake is all you need to satisfy your morning sweet-tooth. De Wafelbakker pancakes are found in 2 pound bags in the freezer section of your local grocery store.

Have a fabulous Friday! See you tomorrow!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

272. Would you prefer to receive bad news sugarcoated or bluntly?