Tag: inspiration

Two Nags

I have two situations in my life which are driving me nuts right now. For the sake of mystery and privacy, I will keep the particulars to myself. These experiences are nothing major. I have been through much worse in my life, but they have been persistent, aggravating, longtime nags that show no sign of leaving anytime soon, despite my best efforts to liberate myself of them. I have this overall sense that if I could just rid myself of these irritations, I could finally open this new empty nest chapter of my life, with a clear, clean slate. (I fully understand that new problems always crop up soon after old problems resolve, but honestly, I am ready for some novelty, even in the way of issues to solve.) So dear readers, I could use your positive energy, prayers, juju, whatnot to ask the benevolent forces that be (whatever your beliefs are) to help me to clear these botherations off of my plate, or at the very least, to help me to stop giving attention and focus to them. If you choose to add your own situations to my Comments section (with or without details), I promise to add you, and your concerns to my prayer list, too. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

And for my fellow nature lovers, last weekend my husband and I were sitting in our garage, talking, as my husband was cooling off from his biking trek, when a visitor appeared by my magnolia tree right outside of the garage.

It appeared to want to check out my “artwork”, my outdoor gallery that started out as a small melange of broken jewelry, ornaments, and garden trinkets that I just didn’t have the heart to get rid of, and then, as seems to be the way with me, it soon took on a life of its own.

This beautiful, ethereal, majestic creature is welcome to visit my yard whenever he or she feels the urge to do it. Its appearance made my day!! And if you feel an affinity for hawks (perhaps maybe even consider hawk to be a “spirit animal”), consider this the sign that you were looking for . . . .

And now, for my final thought for the day, if Al Capone called John Gotti a mobster, he would be correct. But that doesn’t negate the fact that Al Capone is (was) also a mobster. “Pot calling the kettle black.” It’s all over society/organizations/leadership these days, and yet many things of magnaminty still aren’t getting solved . . . . sigh.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Lists

*****So sorry for the delay, friends!! My server was down this morning, which is thankfully, a rare issue for me and the blog. <3

There is a common rule of thumb that for everything that you buy, you should immediately throw away/give away something else in your home, in order to avoid cluttering and future mayhem. This makes sense for our daily lives, too. I have a typed-up list of basic things that I like to get done on a daily basis: things such as doing a load of laundry, writing in my journal, sorting mail and paying the bills, writing my blog, walking the dogs, etc. These are things that are basic to my peace of mind, and give my life shape and form and order. Once these basics are taken care of, there is plenty of room to add other extraneous things on any particular day, but the things which are on this list are what I consider to be essential to my daily existence, for my own wellness and peace of mind. I am pretty careful and considerate when adding things to my DAILY list. (I also have a similar WEEKLY list.)

Lately I have noticed that I have penciled in a few other things on to my DAILY and WEEKLY lists. This is something which I am quite careful and thoughtful about. I do not take adding things to my lists lightly. As a person who treasures and thrives on spontaneity and adventure and whim, I am extremely careful to not add anything to these lists, other than what I feel is essential to my own well-being. I constantly consider and review the items of these lists to see if I can pare down, or change the frequency of anything, on them.

Why do I need to make lists for my everyday chores and daily routines? Shouldn’t these things be intuitive and habitual by now? It’s not because I am losing my memory. (although these lists will come in handy, for when I do get old and forgetful) I have these lists because I want to live intentionally. Our lives are just an accumulation of our every days, and I want to make sure that I am filling my days with things which make me feel peaceful, meaningful, intentional and happy. It makes me feel relieved and balanced when I can check off doing my daily “stuff”. Also, when I am noticing a trend of feeling overwhelmed and irritable and scattered in my life, I can see if I am letting too much other “stuff” get in the way of keeping with my daily program. It’s amazing how much space, time and energy is cleared when you check off your “to do” lists, and you also notice things which would benefit you, to add to your “stop doing” list. Also, when you write a list of things that you consistently do on an everyday basis, you might be amazed. You might give yourself a pat on the back for doing more than you ever realized. You might decide to add a couple of things or you might decide to subtract some actions.

Perhaps lists are just illusions of control. Perhaps lists are just mindful ways to be mindless. Whatever they are, lists are my way of life. They are simple tools that have helped to get me this far in my life. Without my lists, I might be floundering. As a lover of the written word, my lists are my written path for leading my life.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Credit: @Titsay, Twitter

Summer slows things down, in a different way than winter does. Summer comes after Spring, a season of rapid growth and change, and so Summer turns up the heat, in order to slow things down. It says, let’s take a pause and let’s just bask and simmer in everything that spring has brought forth. Let’s shine the light bright on everything that has come forth, and let’s just watch it all beautifully burst at the busting seams. Let it all just sparkle and explode and rejoice. Winter is an introverted, reticent, quiet, slow season. Summer is an easygoing, yet extroverted, leisurely, lulling slow season. Spring and Fall are the moments of movement and rapid change in our lives. Summer and Winter tell us to slow it all down and just be.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Welcome to poetry day on the blog. I hope that you will try to write yourself a poem today. It’s fun. It’s relaxing in the way that things which take total concentration are relaxing. Writing poetry focuses your wild, distractible, meandering mind. I wrote today’s poem in honor of Ralphie, our Labrador retriever, who has come down with Limp Tail Syndrome (it’s a thing – look it up). He’ll be alright. It’s similar to when we roll our ankles. Still, it is sad for us, to see him sad.

Limp Tail Syndrome

They say it comes from swimming too much,

It came from doing your greatest love.

It stole your wag. It stole your grin.

Your body can’t smile in your wiggly way

with the big wet soppy toy in your mouth.

It will pass. All things do. But now

Your body just grimaces and growls,

And your tail hangs limp.

You wear your emotions on your whole body,

Not just a sleeve. You don’t hide anything.

You are the embodiment of life, breath and love,

And joy and pain and listless agitation.

You are so fully you, always and ever.

Soon your sprightly tail will wag again.

Easy, light, high and fast and free and happy.

Your tail never hangs limp for long.

It’s not in your nature to be kept down.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Not Alone

“Nothing I can say can have any effect, except to say to somebody else, “You’re not alone.” That’s as far as it goes.” – Kurt Vonnegut

I think that a lot of us creators, whether we be writers or painters or actors, poets, photographers, etc., have the secret impossible ambition of trying to help save the world with our art. We believe that if we do it just right, or we say it just right, or we come up with the perfect, exquisite wording, or we take one profound photograph that encapsulates all, it will end up being that ONE thing that helps to bring everyone in the world together, in recognition of our connectedness, and the pure beauty and majesty that is Life.

Maybe that overarching ambition is just ego. Maybe we creators are really just trying to find/save/understand/inspire/purge one person – ourselves. And when our creation does that for ourselves, and it sometimes even does it for a few others, as well, we rejoice. We totally rejoice in relief and confirmation. We feel connected and understood and validated and less alone.

I wish that I had the inclination, and the ability to save lives like firefighters or surgeons do, but I am more of a hindrance in emergencies than a help (plus I have a hair trigger gag reflex). I wish that I had the inclination to start a company that would create hundreds of good jobs to support hundreds of good families, but I don’t do well with structure, and math, and office politics. I wish that I had the inclination to get into politics and really clean up house, while also having the ability to stay personally clean while doing it, but I’m sane enough to not even dare to put my big toe into that arena. I wish that I had the unending patience and purpose of a teacher, but I often get bored and frustrated as easily as a toddler.

And so beyond my ambitious wishes, I write. I do what it inherently seems like I was meant to do. I like to believe that at the very least, as my writing heals me and helps me to make sense of my experiences, it sometimes gives that little spark of familiarity and comfort and recognition that says to someone else, as they let out a big, deep sigh, “Oh, thank you. Wonderful. I am not alone.” As Kurt Vonnegut says, “That’s as far as it goes.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Stratagem

Do you remember when you were in high school or in college, and you looked around, and you found yourself super stressed by all the people around you who seemed to have their whole lives already mapped out with carefully crafted, detailed precision? Do you remember those times when it felt like everyone around you was walking around with their vital mission plans in their backpacks and they were just chomping at the bits to get to graduation, and to get on with it? And you were thinking to yourself, “Oh my gosh, do I even have a backpack?” Maybe you were one of those people who came out of the womb holding your solid lifetime plan in your hand, but I was not. I was an achiever, yes. I did well in school. When I fell in love with my husband, I knew that I wanted to share my life with him. I knew that I wanted a big family, but all of the rest of it, seemed more like a hazy outline. (and honestly, sometimes it still does) When I was young, I was caught up in “the shoulds” and people pleasing and towing the line and “achieving”. I followed the script.

I bring this up because lately I feel like I am back in that scene with the backpacks, except now it’s all a bunch of middle-aged empty nesters, carrying weathered, higher quality backpacks, and it appears as if they all have been given their next ironclad missions. They can’t get their For Sale signs out fast enough. The moving trucks pull up, right after the graduation parties. And here I am, back to, “Oh my gosh, do I even have a backpack?” I had a text conversation with my sister-in-law the other day that looked something like this (and for context, our youngest child graduated from high school last year, her youngest child graduated last week):

Me (thinking she would need comfort and reassurance): Congratulations!! Don’t worry, empty nest is really nice and simple and peaceful. You do less dishes and less laundry.

SIL: Yay!! We are putting our house up in the spring, moving across the country to our dream town in our favorite state, we’re going to rent first and then we are going to buy. We’ve been dreaming about this very moment for years, and . . . . . . (on and on and on with precision detail and excitement). And then she asked, What are your plans for empty nest?

Me: Well, um, we don’t have our plans quite sewn down just yet. We’re still figuring it out, but we are having fun doing the figuring out part.

SIL: As long as you are having fun, you are doing it right.

My sister-in-law is correct. Having fun with the process is important, but I still feel envious of my fellow empty nesters, purposefully walking around (sometimes running around) with their seemingly long thought-out, highly anticipated master plans. The one thing that I know for sure, during this next stage of my life, is that I won’t be stuck on “the shoulds” nor “the script.” When I reflect back on my life, the decisions that I made when I followed my heart and my intuition, have brought me to my favorite people, and my most memorable places, and my most treasured activities (such as starting this blog). Perhaps, my own master plans are never meant to be in step-by-step form, held in a handy backpack. Perhaps the compass in my heart is really all that I have ever needed, and it will take me everywhere that I need to go. I just need to trust this fact, let go of my comparison anxiety, and let the needle steady and point me in the direction which always seems to lead to my most authentic, deepest self and my most profound experiences, often in the most spontaneous of ways.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Ancestors

It’s a little chaotic here this morning. I haven’t had time to collect my own thoughts, so in lines with my intention of using this blog as a “thought museum”, I will share this thought that struck me as a useful, comforting, unique perspective. This is from The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday:

“Don’t forget, though, that you come from a long, unbroken line of ancestors who survived unimaginable adversity, difficulty, and struggle. It’s their genes and their blood that run through your body right now. Without them, you wouldn’t be here.”

You’re tough. You’re strong. You’re resilient. You’re resourceful. You’ve got this!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Tuesday’s Tidbits

+ Today’s beautiful Google Search Doodle is the 2023 winner of the annual Google Doodle contest. When my daughter was younger, she always submitted her artwork to Google every year (and when she didn’t win, our whole family always agreed with her – Google got it terribly wrong 😉 ). This is the wonderful thing about these types of contests. They encourage and they spur on and they award children’s creativity. This year’s prompt was “I’m grateful for . . .” The winner, Rebecca, drew a picture of she and her two sisters, and she said that her Google Doodle represents all of their happiest memories together. What are your happiest memories? What if you drew a depiction (even just a doodle) of your happiest memories? I wonder what that would like . . . . don’t you? Let’s try it.

+ I read that there is a sign at a local nursery that says this: “The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The next best time is now.” What have you been putting off/meaning to get to/regretting not doing? The next best time is now.

+ If you can keep an open mind, and suspend all your own personal spiritual and religious beliefs (or non-beliefs) for just a moment (and if you can’t do that, then just skip this tidbit), I think that you will get a lot out of a series of tweets I recently read, by Valencia (@SayItValencia). I know that I did:

“My love, Your peace doesn’t have to be protected and no one can drain your energy, we’ve been rehearsing those thoughts for too long. Once you find bliss, you understand it’s a gift and perspective that you give to you at every moment. You end up gifting it to others by default. Does it mean you can’t think your energy can be drained? No. The mind is vast, you can perceive anything you want and then experience it. When ready, if you find that thinking your energy can be drained no longer serves, you can let go of that perspective and find infinite bliss. . . . You awaken multiple times, not just once. Every time, you will have a clearer understanding of what is the ego, what are false fears and what you truly are. . . .The ego is the self we go to, every time we forget we’re part of Source. It’s the self we know in the visible realm. It’s the self that makes us believe we are separated from each other. Love that self! Love what you created so far! But don’t make mistake it as all that you are. . . . Spiritually, the ego is no longer an enemy when you realize that it’s the self you created. There’s nothing to dislike about it, it’s a byproduct of being human and your environment. Which means that you can change the ego, ad infinitum. You are the awareness behind the change.For a long time, I’d think the ego as something separated to myself, until it clicked that “No! The ego IS Valencia! It’s the personality I created based on my experiences, it’s when I believe I’m “me” instead of awareness.” I no longer try to fix the ego, there’s nothing to fix. . . .Instead, I stay in awareness, in Spirit’s presence as much as I can. I guide my ego from there. Without harsh judgment on me. Just discernment, love and patience. . . . Seek your intuition, seek your inner-guidance, seek Spirit with all you got. There’s a kingdom pre installed in your mind, find it. It’s underneath all the false thoughts this world taught us. Underneath the conditioning. It’s your job to seek it, everything else follows.. . . .Intuition never wants anything to be difficult for you. It wants to guide you in the best and easiest way possible. It doesn’t test you nor try to teach you anything that way. Why would it, when it knows the way? The ego on the other hand…I said it yesterday, your ego only knows this world and the rules of the visible realm. It has been taught to measure its understanding of things through tests. It can’t help but believe the universe does the same to you. . . . Ego tests intuition all the time! Intuition or Spirit doesn’t need to test anything, it just wants to guide you effortlessly and fulfill its function. Ego stops testing things when it accepts that inner-guidance leads to longevity and peace, and it wants that for itself as well.“

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

I read an interesting article by Alan Cohen the other day. The article was talking about how there are easier ways to say “no.” The article suggested that instead of mustering up the courage to say “no” to things that we don’t want to do, we often subconsciously self-sabotage ourselves with accidents, or with other undermining behaviors towards our own selves. Sometimes pains and illnesses occur in our bodies, seemingly out of nowhere, that stop us doing from what we don’t want to do.

We don’t need to punish ourselves for our “nos”. There are easier ways to say “no” than hurting ourselves. Where do you need to be an advocate for yourself? Can you find some clues to this question in your body, or in your dreams, or in repeated negative patterns that keep occurring in your life? Be a detective about yourself. You may be surprised with the answers that you may find.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Yesterday we launched another baby into the big, bad world. Our youngest son moved out of the house, and he starts his first “real” job on Monday, since graduating from college. Our youngest son has epilepsy, and he has experienced a lot of ups and downs throughout his young life, until we figured out a combination of medications that work to keep him seizure free. Readers, please let’s agree to keep all of our beautiful children in our shared nightly good thoughts and prayers. That thought gives me a great deal of comfort. Our children and grandchildren are the future. Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Here is my poem for today:

Moon’s in Sagittarius

Last night was our shared full moon,

my blue-eyed baby with your angel kiss.

It filled the dark skies with thrill for June,

And hopefully many more months of bliss.

You are ready. Launch your arrows into the sky.

I can’t wait to see where they may land.

Don’t be afraid to fail. Just try. Just fly.

And when you feel unsure, know my heart’s in your hand.

You are raised. You are a man. You’re up to the task.

You’ve overcome so much in your young life already.

So, in the light of these triumphs, remember to bask.

Stay focused, stay true, stay strong, and stay steady.

When you look at the night sky and peer at the moon,

Remember that we both gaze at the same one,

Take it day by day, while humming to your own tune,

I love you and I’m proud of you, my dear blue-eyed son.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.