Tag: hope

The Only Thing

Happy Valentine’s Day. Today is the day to celebrate love. Acts made with love, and acts made with the absence of love, are what have created all of history. Thankfully, love still prevails. Most of the actions taken in our homes, and in our communities, and in our cities, and in our countries, and in our world, still have the basis of the energy of love. Love is what sustains us. Love is the only thing that will sustain us.

Today, let’s all of us plant seeds of love wherever we go. Focus on the good. Focus on what we love about our family, our friends, our neighbors, our everyday lives and ourselves. Show love to our family, to our friends, to our neighbors, and to ourselves. Appreciate the good in our everyday routines and in the lives we have created for ourselves. Be in awe of these people and creatures and things and vocations that make up the days of our lives. Feel love for our family, for our friends, for our neighbors, for our coworkers, and for ourselves. Allow our family, our friends, our neighbors and ourselves to love us. Let love in. Keep the doors of our hearts open. It’s a gift to feel and to show love for someone or something, and to also feel the joy of them receiving this love gratefully. Celebrate the love that we have for the lives which we have created for ourselves, and for the voracious, abundant life teeming all around us. Love is overflowing and robust. Love teems. Today, on this day in which we publically celebrate love, let’s all plant some more seeds of love, to keep this Garden of Life teeming and growing and blooming and blessing all creatures who are sustained by the everlasting energy of Love. Love is the only thing that will sustain us forevermore.

(And I can’t let this Valentine’s Day pass without saying how much I love to write this daily blog, and how much it means to me, for you, my readers and witnesses, to be part of it. I love my blog. And I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Better Than the Queen of Monaco

“I thought I was going to be queen of Monaco even though someone else did it. [Laughter] But I had these giant ideas. And then you get older and, oh, s*** is going to happen. And, Mike White, you have given me hope. You’ve given me a new beginning. . . .

“This is something all of you, if you don’t know Mike White, this is what you should know: He is worried about the world, he’s worried about people, he’s worried about friends of his that aren’t doing well, he’s always worried about people, you’re worried about animals, and he really is one of the greatest people I’ve ever … He gives me so much excitement to be—you make people want to live longer, and I didn’t.” – from last night’s speech from 61-year-old actress Jennifer Coolidge, who won a Golden Globe for The White Lotus last night, about the creator of the show, Mike White

“. . . .you make people want to live longer and I didn’t.” Wow. Have you ever heard a better compliment? And this is about a Hollywood guy! When has that ever happened before?! My regular readers know that I’m a huge fan of The White Lotus series and I have previously written about Jennifer Coolidge’s ‘big break’ coming to her later in life, which is a rare thing, particularly for women in Hollywood.

From Jennifer Coolidge’s Golden Globe acceptance speech, it is my belief that these accolades and appreciation couldn’t have happened to two more deserving people. Jennifer, for slogging along, continuing to work feverishly at her passion, even if she thought that her days of a “big break” were over, and to Mike, for being that guy who cares – Mike cares about people, his friends, animals. . . . Jennifer’s whole speech was about what a wonderful, loving person and being Mike White is, without even beginning to mention his incredible talent as a writer and director.

My favorite trainer at my Local Stretchlab has experienced more than her fair share of difficulties in life. Raised in Guam, she had to drop out of medical school to take care of her mother and grandmother, who both had cancer and when they passed, her father became ill and so she cared for him, while still trying to manage the family business. It is only in the last five years or so that my trainer has been able to focus on herself and her own adult life. She is married to a marine, and yesterday they were celebrating their three-year wedding anniversary. She told me that she was taking the entire weekend off to celebrate with him. My trainer told me that for most of her life, she never dreamed that she would marry, and she is so utterly thrilled and grateful to be married to the man of her dreams. We both agreed that the beauty of difficult times, is that the harder that they were, the more they make you appreciate and savor the wonderful times in life. When you know just how low and difficult life can get, the gratitude which you feel for the smooth, amazing times is almost overwhelming.

If you are in a point in your life when you feel like your ship has sailed, be like Jennifer, and just hang on. Keep doing what is meaningful to you. It ain’t over ’til it’s over. You really have no idea where this journey is taking you. The most meaningful, exciting times of your life could easily be right around the corner. And while you’re at it, be like Mike, care. Care about people, and friends, and animals. Be like Mike and be the kind of person who makes people want to live longer. And when you get to a point in your life when you finally (and maybe even surprisingly) get something that you always wanted but started to lose hope of ever getting, be like my Stretchlab trainer and take a long weekend off to simmer in the joy and gratitude of it all! Because of slogging through the tough times, you get the equal and opposite feeling of utter bliss!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Journeys

I don’t have much to share today. We are part of this holiday travel fiasco. Thankfully, we got to our destination, but we found out that our flights were cancelled, so without getting into details, we are looking at least a 16 hour drive home.

Life is full of adventure. Some adventures are more fun and interesting than others. In the end, what you realize is that all of your adventures become your stories, and your lore, and your legends . . . and these adventures are what make up the chapters of your life.

“Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it.” – Lolly Daskal

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Something Stronger

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back. – Albert Camus

Like so many others, I was deeply disheartened yesterday to read about the death of Stephen Boss, aka tWitch, the brilliant dancer and television personality. He died by suicide, leaving behind a loving wife and three beautiful children. In the last year or so, our own extended family has lost two loved ones to suicide. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been affected by the suicide of someone. Suicide is more common than we want to believe.

Depression doesn’t discriminate and it takes an incredibly dark depression for someone to start dancing with the ideation of suicide. Yet, people can be clever in hiding their depression. Stephen Boss was living a supposed “dream life.” Appearances can be deceiving.

I’ve always hated the focus on “appearances.” How do things look? What will people think? Yet I am as guilty of this as anyone else. The other day, I found myself thinking, “Thank goodness that the outside of the house is decorated for Christmas. No one will know that we don’t even have our tree up yet.” Blech. Who cares? The thought is, “As long as the outside looks good, nobody will know the turmoil that goes on in the inside.” We spend way too much time, and energy on the outsides/appearances of ourselves and others, instead of loving, and healing and focusing on the insides of ourselves, and connecting to the deepest, most authentic essence of others.

How do we prevent more suicides? It is such a deep and troubling question. There may not be an easy answer, but we can always be kind. We can always be observant. We can remind ourselves, and we can remind others that the clouds always, always pass. Our true selves, our essence, our souls are NOT our thoughts. Our true selves can observe our thoughts, just like we can observe physical sensations happening in our bodies. We can notice that our thoughts always pass on, like clouds in the sky. Our true essence is the vast, peaceful, still, timeless blue sky and the clouds (thoughts, happenings, feelings) always pass on through. The key is to hold on to the vision of being the still, serene, blue sky of awareness that is the truest, realest part of each of us – the unchanging part of each of us that connects us all.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Differently

I read an excellent article by Karen Nimmo this morning. She writes that when deciding what we want in 2023, we should ask ourselves this question: “What do I want to do differently next year?” She also suggests that we spend some time with this prompt: “I’d like to spend more time . . .”

If we spend some time seriously pondering these ideas, and then actually write our answers down, we can have a template to reflect back on when nasty old habits, routines, and living life on auto-pilot starts inevitably occurring in the new year. We can remind ourselves of what is truly important and nourishing to our souls and we can live 2023 more purposefully than we have ever lived before.

This can be so much for effective than making new year’s resolutions that most people break before February even arrives. I’ve written this before but it bears repeating: Run towards what you DO want, not away from what you don’t want. If you just “run away” you tend to run aimlessly into the first “escape” that appears. If you run towards what you DO want, you have an aim and a purpose and a mission. If you ask yourself why you want what you are running towards, and write those reasons down, too, this will give clarity, passion and understanding to the needs you are trying to meet for yourself.

What do I want to do differently next year?

I’d like to spend more time . . . . .

If you care to share your own answers to these questions in my comments section, I would be delighted to read them. They may spark intriguing, inspirational ideas for me and for my other readers. Thank you in advance. Happy December!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Sure Do Love

RIP – Loretta Lynn This loss really got to me yesterday, although I think that a peaceful death, in the homestead that you love, after 90 years of exuberantly loving life, is a lovely, gentle, fitting ending to a beautiful life on Earth.

I have never been a huge country music fan, but I always found Loretta Lynn interesting and intriguing. I watched Coalminer’s Daughter more than a few times. I read two of Lorretta Lynn’s books. I even drove my children by Hurricane Mills ranch in Tennessee when I was doing a nine-state road trip with four little kids. (Don’t ask – these are the things that you do when you are young, and energy-filled, and crazily optimistic.) We stopped at a small country diner down the road from her beloved ranch, and we were told that she often made her way down the road to have dinner there. Even as long as we lingered over biscuits and gravy, sadly, Loretta Lynn didn’t show up that evening.

Years ago, I watched Mike Wallace interview Lorretta Lynn on 60 Minutes. At this point, Loretta was already up there in age, (probably in her late 70s or early 80s), and she was as positive, charming and authentic as ever. I remember Mike asked her one of those annoyingly obvious-answer questions, like sportscasters ask quarterbacks after they lose a huge game, “How do you feel about losing this game?” Mike asked Loretta the “duh question” (although I don’t remember what the actual question was that he asked her), and she answered back in her simple country twang with “Well, of course I felt terrible. Wouldn’t you, Mike?” I could tell, it was at this moment in the interview, that Mike Wallace, a longtime, veteran journalist, appeared to be a little shaken by Loretta Lynn’s frankness. He became a little sheepish, but also utterly charmed. Loretta could say things like this with her down-home, no BS, this is the way of life, common sense, and still be utterly kind and gracious. She didn’t come off like a sarcastic harpy. She came off as innocent, pure and real, looking imploringly at him with her gorgeous, full of fun, sparkly blue eyes. And I remember watching Mike falling a little bit in love with her, as I believe the rest of the audience was doing as well. I know that I did.

As I was reading some of the tributes to Lorretta Lynn yesterday, I ended up on her Instagram. On her personal Instagram, Loretta posted many, many pictures of the obvious loves in her life: her late husband, Doolittle, her children, her family and friends, playing music with her country music friends and colleagues, her ranch, her horses. I noticed without fail, she would post the picture and she would write things like this: “This is Mooney. I sure do love this man. I love you, honey,” or “Ernest brought up my horse to the ranch to cheer me up. I sure do love that horse,” or “This is the woman that helped raise my kids. She is like our family. I sure do love . . . .”

Since the news of her death, there is an obvious outpouring of loss and sadness over a real American treasure, Loretta Lynn. She lived the American dream, but she was also honest about the hardscrabble life of the poorest, working class members of society (particularly women), before it was cool to be honest about anything. She never walked away from the truth ever. She lived her life purely, focused on what she loved. She loved her husband, her family, her friends, her music, her ranch, and her faith throughout her entire life. She lived her life honestly, abundantly, authentically, excitedly and gratefully.

What do you “sure do love” in your life? Focus on what you “sure do love” every single day. Because honestly, that is really what life is all about. A little country girl from Butcher Holler, Kentucky, knew this truth, and Loretta Lynn lived this truth probably better than almost anyone in the world. And that is why it hurts so much for us to let her go.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Currency

credit: Think Smarter, Twitter

There are so many things vying for our attention and energy these days. And we give it away so freely and easily, as if we have endless stores of it (even though we don’t). We forget to harness our energy. We forget that it is “us” that has the wheel. Your still, small voice inside of you – your perfectly attuned, highly perceptible, built-in GPS system will never scream out for your attention. It won’t try to compete with, nor enforce control, as to where you put your attention and energy (and thus your precious time). But if you listen to your body and to your emotions, you will understand if where you have been putting your attention, your focus and your energy, is really the best place for you to spend it. What increases your energy? What depletes it? What restores and renews your energy? What flames and burns your energy out quickly? Where are your energy leaks – slowly and secretly draining out your energy stores, little bits at at time? Do you need to bank your energy somewhere else? Have you built appropriate boundaries around your energy stores?

Spend some of your time, energy, and attention on these questions today. The insights which you get from this exercise will be incredibly valuable. (Remember, as the post by Think Smarter states: “Our energy IS our true currency.”)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

A Letter

Dear Friends and Readers,

We are fine. We are so lucky. We really dodged a bullet in my town. We never even lost power at our home. I still am pinching myself in disbelief. Our only casualty was our neighbor’s small tree, which fell on our pool cage but it was even kind enough to not break through the screen. My husband just pointed out that the tiny pump in a small pond on our porch even stayed on throughout the winds and the rain. Our immediate family and our local friends and neighbors, are thankfully, unscathed from Hurricane Ian.

That being said, we do have family and friends to the south of us, who really suffered the brunt of this hurricane. There is no such thing as a hurricane tiptoeing through anything. Yes, it is true that things can always be replaced, but it is still devastating to have to rise up, and to have to restore and to rebuild the home and the life and the community which you have lovingly and carefully created and curated for yourself. It is traumatic to experience the worst case scenarios of any natural disaster. Please set all judgment aside. The people who were hit the hardest by Hurricane Ian weren’t even in “the cone of uncertainty” as late as this past Sunday. For all of our technology, and “brilliance”, we are not even close to a being a match to the natural forces and higher intelligence of our world. As the mayor of our town likes to preach, “Mother Nature always wins.”

Please continue to pray for the people who are still in the path of Ian, the lesser. The storm isn’t over yet. And thank you for all of the love and the prayers and the concern and the good ju-ju which you sent my way. I felt it. One of my biggest worries before this all even started to bear down on us, was that I wouldn’t be able to connect with you on the blog, for days on end. That would break my heart.

Love to all,

Kelly

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

What’s Missing?

credit: @RespectfulMemes, Twitter

Hi friends. We’re still standing here. There are no power outages yet, just steady rain. It’s probably too early to tell, but we may have dodged a bullet in our area. Still, we continue to pray for our friends and family all over Florida, who may not be faring so well. Hurricanes are scary, unpredictable monsters.

I really love this meme that I reposted above. When you go through scary, dangerous times, you are not always at your best. Sometimes some of the whole of you is “missing”. Fear and uncertainty do not always bring out the best in people. Too many of us are conditioned to believe that we are only loveable when we are perfect, and even, and helpful, and steady. But that’s not true. Yes, it is true that sometimes, when someone we love is really off-kilter, we have to put some space between ourselves and them, for the health of all involved, but the love never goes away. Things can go “missing” in a person and in a relationship, but love remains. Love is indestructible. Love is. Know that you are always loved, whether you are whole, or whether parts of you go “missing” from time to time. The part of any and each of us that never, ever goes missing, is love. Love is the material of our souls.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Oh Ian!

It’s a super strange feeling, anticipating a hurricane. You get plenty of warning – almost too much warning. The anticipation is killer. I’m a “let’s just rip the band-aid off, already!” kind of a girl. And Mother Nature says, “No dear, we’re going to make you sit with your fearful what-ifs for a while. It’s good for you.” Ugh.

The last time a big hurricane directly affected our area was five years ago. And we evacuated, with four kids and two dogs in tow. We went to Atlanta and the people there could not have been kinder and more welcoming. Instead of price gouging, they gave us discounts, and extras, delicious heartwarming food and long, caring hugs. I will always have a warm spot in my heart, dedicated to the good, hospitable people of Atlanta, Georgia. But evacuating didn’t come without its challenges. The roads were filled with wall-to-wall, crawling, slowly inching along traffic. We ended up having to sleep one night at a rest stop (six stressed people, including sweaty, ornery male teenagers + two big dogs, in a cramped car = not good sleep), which was littered with cars of people, doing the same exact thing. There were cars everywhere, even on the grass and on the sides of the highway. Most gas stations along the way, were out of gas. And watching the news, wondering what kind of mess we were going to go back home to, was excruciatingly stressful. Media sensationalism is a terribly painful experience, when it affects the people and the places that you most love and care about. On the way home, after the hurricane, we were surrounded on the highway, by brigades of utility trucks from seemingly every state in the nation, heading down to help with our plight. I remember this bringing tears of patriotism and gratitude, to my weary eyes.

We had a pow-wow with our near-by neighbors last night, and most of us have decided to stay and weather this one out in our homes. (Including a doctor and his wife, who is a physician’s assistant, who live across the street. This helped seal the deal for me. We’ll look out for each other. That’s what neighbors do.) This experience will be a contrast to what we did the last time, and I am curious to compare, first-hand, which is the better way to handle these things. Our adult children are all in safe spots away from here, so that is what gives me my greatest peace of mind. Honestly, right now my husband and I find ourselves stressing mostly about inconsequential things, like how are we going to brew our coffee when the electricity is out?!

People often question why you would want to live in Florida, and other tropical spots when hurricanes are a seasonal concern. These perilous storms are the price we pay to live in paradise. Florida rarely has gray days. Sunshine is a given. I can go to the beach for lunch if I want to, and bury my feet in the sand, feeling the soothing gulf breezes, lulling my heartbeat to match the rhythms of the tides. We have gorgeous sunsets, and dolphins are as common as the deer, and the wild turkeys, and the herons and the hawks that we see almost daily. Florida is an inclusive, melting pot. No one feels like an “outsider” because everyone here is from somewhere else. There is something for everyone in Florida, even the kooky “Florida Man.” Our state makes loads of money from tourism. There are many good reasons for this fact. Florida is soothing to the soul.

This may be my last blog post this week before we lose power. I don’t know. Regardless, I’ll see you on the other side of the storm. One thing is for certain – you fully know and understand the people and the things that you truly treasure and mean the most in your life, when you are facing down a life-threatening storm. My dearest readers, I can’t wait to be with you again, after the storm.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.