We just arrived home from the wedding which we had attended last night. I’m tired, but happily so. There are few experiences in this world that are more beautiful, hopeful, earnest, and comforting than weddings. How lovely it is to see two people commit to be there for each other, in full support of each other throughout their shared journeys throughout their lifetimes. Many wedding traditions have changed throughout the ages, and it is true that not all marriages last, but during the celebration of the uniting of two people, the whole space around them is elevated. We attendees to the wedding are all delighted to witness a couple of our fellow human beings bare their souls to each other, and also to say to all of us who care about them and to Creation, “I’m going to take care of this human. I’m going to be there for this human through it all. This human is very special to me.” And we all feel happy that there is another twosome in this world that have committed to having each other’s backs in the most intimate, devoted, exhaustive way that it is not possible to do for everyone who we each know and care about. Marriage elevates us. It elevates our world. And you see a microcosm of this in any wedding event. You look over the sea of beaming faces and you see the elderly, and the youth, and everyone in between, and you realize that marriage is a huge part of what has made our humanity what it is today. Our biggest celebrations and traditions in life are always about love. Weddings encapsulate the act of love, not just the feeling of love, but the act of committing to actually being love in one of its most gracious forms, as a caring, dedicated, devoted spouse of another being. Weddings are wonderful.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
Yesterday we had a line of extreme storms roll through our area. We got continual warnings and alerts, via news sources, social media, texts, calls and emails. There were school and business closings, and my wind chimes got chimier and chimier as the day went on. Living in Florida, storm alerts are nothing new. I used the day to stay inside, in order to get caught up on laundry, bills and to put away the last of our Christmas decorations. For about 15 minutes in the late afternoon, the sky was black, the wind was howling, and the rain was torrential. And then as quickly as it came, the storm was past us. We even took the dogs for their nightly walk about an hour or so later, and it was lovely outside. The air was still, and everything around us glistened with cleansing rain. It smelled so nice and clean and fresh. This morning the sun is shining. It is a beautiful day.
That’s how it goes with life, right? I often tell my kids and my friends and myself, “Remember, the clouds always, always pass. Your life is the steadiness of the blue sky that is always there behind it all. The clouds ALWAYS pass.” And honestly, we typically spend a lot more time preparing for storms, and worrying about storms, and anticipating storms, than the length of time, any storm ever lasts. And usually once a storm in life is over, things look brighter and clearer than ever. Most storms are extremely cleansing. This bright clarity after the storm, is the gift that storms leave behind, almost as an apology for the fear, and the destruction, and the chaos that they brought into our lives for a short period of time. There are good reasons for storms if you look for them. There are blessings for storms if you look for them. And if nothing else, remember, storms and clouds ALWAYS pass.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
Yesterday, we took our dogs on their daily walk. Dogs are the perfect example of how “energy” is truly catching. We have three dogs. When one of them gets riled up, all three of them get churned up, almost immediately. A neighbor’s dog lives behind a fence by the sidewalk of our daily walk. Every time we walk by his fence, the neighbor’s dog goes nuts at the fence, and our dogs go from chill and calm to equally nuts as he is, in seconds flat. Ralphie, our Labrador retriever loves to swim in our pool. He is obsessed with swimming. He almost becomes OCD about running around the pool and jumping into the pool, again and again and again. This puts the herding (and thus barking and nipping) instinct of our collie, Josie, on full/high alert, which trips Trip (the Boykin spaniel) into his own special blend of spazzy bossiness. It doesn’t make for a pleasant, peaceful pool experience, at all. We have learned that if we keep Ralphie inside when we want calm around the pool, the other two dogs’ energy stays even keel and chill. Our dogs are a perfect example of how energy/moods/countenance is catching. The next time you feel yourself in an extreme “state of being”, take a pause, and see what is causing your mood. Is it your own thoughts and experiences, or have you “caught” someone else’s mood around you? Do not take what is not yours.
In considering the above, I got to thinking about lessons which really sunk in for me from 2023 that I want to bring into 2024. A lot of times we only talk about things we want to get rid of in the new year (excess weight, excess stuff, etc.) but there were some valuable lessons that really hit home for me last year, that I hope to keep utilizing for the rest of my life going forward. Along with being sure that I am not taking on negative energy that is not mine (explained above), there were other key lessons that I used throughout the year, like mantras, that helped to keep me on track. One was: “Worry does not equal love.” I am not doing anything of value for you, or for me, if I worry about you. I am showing lack of confidence in myself, and/or in you and others, and/or in God/Universe, if I am worried. Worry truly is worthless. I think for a long time in my life, I believed that worry showed that I care, but seeing it stated this way: “Worry does not equal love”, woke me up. I am loving you when I feel confident in your abilities and in Life’s lovingness to take care of you, not matter what you face. Care is offering support and confidence, not worry.
Another lesson that hit home for me was using the mantra, “Let Life love you.” When I fully relax and trust in God/Universe, instead of trying to micromanage and control every situation of my life, it is amazing how everything comes together in the most perfect of ways. When I get out of my own way, and I use the mantra “I Let Life Love Me”, I am often astounded at the miracles that I witness on almost a daily basis. Acceptance and faith is the only way to live a peaceful life.
Finally, I have learned that not doing what someone else wants me to do, does not make be a bad, toxic, selfish person. “Be what you want to be, not what others want to see.” We don’t like disappointing others, but it is impossible to fulfill everyone’s needs, and it is not our responsibility to do so. Bad, toxic, selfish people are mean, cruel to others, and do and say bad things to other people. They try to get their needs fulfilled from other people, or despite of other people. Taking care of your own needs and creating your own boundaries, does not make you a bad person. See and remember the chart below and it will really help your 2024 and beyond, be fulfilling, healthy and calm:
How’s that for a Monday-Funday post??? Can you tell that this is the first “official Monday”/start of the new year for me? I suspect that my following Monday-Funday posts may be a little shorter and less thought out going forward, but we shall see . . . . I’m taking advantage of my starter gate energy. 🙂
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:
I recently read an article by an author who has written several books. She says that when a person asks her, “How do you write a book?”, she says that the best way to do it, is to tell people that you are writing a book. It keeps you accountable, especially if you tell your intentions to people whom you deeply respect, and you feel that they are supportive of your biggest dreams and aspirations. You certainly don’t have to tell everybody and their grandmother about things. You don’t have to announce your goals on social media (unfortunately there are people who might secretly want to sabotage your dreams and goals), but from the people “in your corner”, find accountability partners for all of your visions, ambitions, goals and intentions.
Today is the winter solstice. It is almost the end of 2023. There is no better time to really start honing in on what you want for 2024. What is it that you would really like to see and experience in your life, in the upcoming future? What do you have in your life right now (relationships, experiences, routines, places, things, etc.) that are truly meaningful for you? How do you continue to nurture these aspects of your life, so that they continue to stay healthy, and help you to stay on track for peace and happiness in 2024? What has reached its expiration date in your life? (relationships, experiences, habits, places, traditions, etc.) How do you remove these things from your life in order to clear your path towards “better”? Once you get really clear on what you really want in your life going forward, and you have considered some practical steps that you need to take, in order to get there, find accountability partners to keep you on track. Find someone whom you trust, who will earnestly and regularly ask you about your progress on your goals. Find someone who is rooting for you, and who will keep you honest. And if you believe that your greatest motivation is found from proving your “haters” wrong, make sure that those bums are the first people to see your list of goals for the new year.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Happy Birthday to me! I read this quote the other day:
I am 53 years old today. I am level 53. I have passed the 53 mile marker and I am zooming into my 54th year. I think the quote above is true to a point. Life can be truly humbling. I sometimes wish that I had some of that naive audacious panache that I had when I was younger – that young woman who marched right in, and worried about the details later, before many times being humbled by having my ass handed to me on a platter. But honestly, I don’t believe in living life with regrets. Throughout my lifetime, I have wasted time, I have wasted energy, I have wasted my breath on many, many things that do not matter. But I have lived enthusiastically and hopefully. I have loved deeply and fully. And truthfully, I’m still pretty damn loud.
I am a big believer in the onion/rose principle, that says that you can use each day of your life to unfold, until one day you end up at the deepest core of your true essence. If you shame yourself with regrets, you stop unfolding. You stay as a tightly wound, stony ball or a rigid, stubborn bud, holding desperately to layers that are fervently asking to be let go.
When I read the quote above, I thought to myself, this is why many people are afraid of self awareness. This is why so many people are unlikely to explore their own patterns and beliefs, and how these things affect their lives. Many people’s deepest fear is shame and recrimination. They fear the realization and disappointment that they haven’t been true to themselves for a long, long time. But this is a waste! What if all my life I was walking around with blinders at a banquet? The only thing I could see was the bland mush in my plate in front of me, because the blinders blocked everything else. Let’s say for 53 years, I wore the blinders until I started getting the sneaking suspicion that I could remove my own blinders. If I am brave enough to remove my blinders, I realize that there is an enormous banquet of delicious variety and beauty for me to explore and to experience beyond the bland mush. Now at this moment, do I sit and wail about the 53 years in which I thought that I could only have mush? Do I hate myself for keeping my blinders on for as long as I did? Or do I dive right in and excitedly explore the delights of the banquet that I have opened myself up to for my own exploration and exhilaration?? Some people are so afraid of realizing what they may have missed out on, that they stubbornly hold tight to their blinders and settle for the same old mush.
People are living longer than ever. At the risk of sounding crass, more than a few notable famous figures have passed lately who I was shocked to find out that they were still alive. Many people are living healthy, purposeful lives well into their nineties, and even past a century. It is never too late to take off the blinders. It is never too late to keep unpeeling the layers. What if you have only got one day, or maybe even one more minute to experience “the banquet”? Is that not better than never, ever experiencing it at all??
So, this I say: the older you get, you can get more loud if you want. Life is humbling, so be humbled, but use it as a wake up call to unabashedly Live and Love, Loud and Proud. Take your blinders off and don’t waste your precious time on any more nonsense.
I love you. Thank you for being here with me. It has made my birthday even more special. <3
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning. One of the favorite parts of this time of year for me, has nothing really to do with twinkly lights, and sweets, and celebrations (although all of these things are great), but more so, it is a time of deep reflection for me. It’s the end of a year. My birthday falls in this month. Last night I spent some time going over my journals of the last two years. This really helps me to pinpoint things that I want to keep investing in, and also, circumstances and habits that I want to change in the new year. It helps me to get clear on my goals and my visions for the new year. This time of year is the perfect time for reflection, gratitude, and renewal. I hope that you can find some quiet space in your calendar this month, to do the same. The winter solstice is on the 21st, which in the northern hemisphere is the darkest day of the year, but after that day, the light just keeps increasing and increasing and increasing throughout the beginning of the year. The winter solstice might just be the perfect day to decide where you want to pour your light and energy on this year, and what you are ready to lay to rest in the shadows of what is now in the past.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I have a lot going on today so my mind is like a whirligig (this is a weird, fancy word for a pinwheel). When I come to the blog on a day like this, I go to my photos and I find inspirations which I have found on other days, that have struck me as funny or poignant. Today, I am leaning on the funny side.
I really do have an expressive face. My face does not know how to do “the poker.”
Ugh, the holidays really brings out the crowds, don’t they? Kevin Kelly’s book, which I wrote about on Thursday, says this, too: “Cultivate 12 people who love you because they are worth more than 12 million who like you.” On the 12 days of Christmas (December 25th through January 5th), write one person’s name who loves you on each day, and think about how much that you love them, as well (this can include people who have passed on – these people deeply live on, in our hearts because of the love that we have shared with them). I believe one or more of these 12 can be our pets, as well. Dogs do the act of love better than almost any of us, in my mind. You are welcome to include me on one of those days if you like, because I do love you. Coming to read my blog is an act of love which I very deeply appreciate. As I also wrote about earlier this week, being “seen” is perhaps the biggest act of love that we can give to anyone. And when you read my blog, you make me feel seen. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Another big hint for this “12 Days of Christmas/12 People Who Love Me” activity: Add yourself to one of those days. If you don’t love yourself, ask yourself, why? How could you not love yourself??? No one has lived it all with you, and stuck by your side more than yourself, ever. Why are you not every bit as lovable, and deserving love, than anybody else on your list? This is a really good time of year to ponder, how can you better show love to yourself, and to those 11 others in the upcoming year. Could we pick each of the 12 months to devoting one month of the year to sending daily loving thoughts and prayers and immense feelings of gratitude, especially to one of our 12 people, in each of the 12 months of 2024? Wouldn’t that feel good? Get your calendars out and write a name next to each month. Fill your year with gratitude and love.
Enjoy the rest of your day, friends. See you tomorrow!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning. Welcome to Poetry day on the blog. I read the poem shown below, just this morning and I thought, “Wow, what a perspective wake-up!” I also did a lot of reading yesterday, and I read about “mind stalking” in an article from Spirituality & Health magazine. It talked about the importance of fervently stalking your own thoughts to discover which ones are causing the most negative emotions in you. Chances are that these thoughts which are causing you pain from negative emotions, come from these four categories: judgment (of yourself or of others), self-pity or pity for others, i.e. the victim seat (with the understanding that compassion is different than pity), fear (and if these fears are mind stalked, they are often seen to be irrational fears created by the mind) and self-importance (sitting in the high throne of “knowing” how others ‘should‘ behave).
Yesterday, I also read an interview with Barbra Streisand. (she has an autobiography coming out that is around 1000 pages!) Barbra has been married to James Brolin for 25 years. She claims that they have very different natures and she believes that he will live for a long, long time because he doesn’t worry about things. Barbra tends to find fault in almost everything, and she says that James wakes up every morning with the attitude of, “Oh wow! Hooray! I get to live for another day!”
The poem below speaks of the idea that perhaps our greatest happiness comes from being in the moment of doing the simplest things, such as crossword puzzles, with other people whom we love, and with whom we like to enjoy experiences and adventures. The rest of it all is truly out of our control (and the poet even suggests that this might be a good thing. We humans have a tendency towards pettiness and messing things up). So just for today, be a mind stalker. Stalk your thoughts and snipe the bad ones so that before you know it, the major constant thought in your mind is, “Oh wow! Hooray! I get to live for another moment!” And then sit happily, staying right in the very moment, doing a quiet activity with someone whom you love (even if that’s just with yourself).
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
“In pursuit of knowledge, every day something is acquired. In pursuit of wisdom, every day something is dropped.”
~ Lao Tse
My youngest son works in sales. He often talks of one of the most successful saleswomen he has ever worked with. If something negative occurs, she stays balanced and calm and smiles serenely, and immediately after the situation she says, “I bless and I release this situation.” And then she moves on . . . (He said, “Mom, you would really like her.”)
What this young woman is saying is that she is grateful for the knowledge and the experience that she obtained from the situation and then wisely, she lets it go and moves on to the next opportunity. Out of her deepest wisdom, she drops all of the negativity, releasing it, to fly away with the wind.
Now, I am sure that this isn’t always easy to do. Sometimes when her mind keeps coming back to an altercation with an angry customer again and again, she may have to practice “bless and release” several times. But with having a practice in place, and a mantra in mind, I’m sure that her “blesses and releases” get stronger and swifter every time she implements them.
My son says that this sales representative is a lovely young mom with a beautiful young baby. She knows what’s important. She holds her blessings lovingly on her lap, and releases anything that doesn’t serve either she or her child, swiftly but kindly with gratefulness for any lessons learned. Homer said, “In youth and beauty, wisdom is but rare.” It appears my son has worked with a rare bird. How wonderful!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
