Tag: hope

Those Two!

Around a couple of weeks ago, I went for my yearly routine mammogram which I have faithfully done since my early forties. I’ve always been blessed to have it come back normal and I wasn’t expecting anything different this time around. I casually looked up my results in my patient portal, as I was sitting under the dryer at my hair salon. I gulped when I noticed that there were two pages, instead of the usual simple paragraph that essentially stated “all is well.” I then noticed that I had a voicemail waiting in my inbox from my primary care doctor. Ugh. I tried to remain calm and even, but I’ve been going to my hair stylist for years. I consider her to be a friend. She could read the dread on my face in one second, so I told her that my mammogram had come back with some issues, and I needed to set up further testing. My hair stylist tried to reassure me, and she told me that one time she had gotten called back, and even had to have “markers” inserted, so they could watch areas in her breasts more closely, year-to-year.

I’m not proud to admit that everything which I espouse on this blog, went out the window that night. After I scheduled my follow-up testing appointment, I stewed in my emotional abyss. My emotions were turbulent. I was admonishing myself for letting the last few stressful years, literally eat me alive. My imagination kept driving me to the worst case scenario, and it was demonically parking me there.

However, I am not one who likes to stay in the land of “Feel Bad” for long. I tend to feel my emotions immediately and robustly and fully, and then I try to move on. I reached out to family and friends for support and for prayers. Dr. Google states that about 10 percent of women are called back for more testing after their routine mammograms. From my informal survey, it seemed that around 60-70 percent of my friends had been called back at least once, and thankfully, not one of them has ever been diagnosed with breast cancer. We all seem to belong to the Dense Breast Club, which makes us more likely to need more testing. I knew that the hardest part of this ordeal was going to be the limbo time before I could get into the imaging center for further testing. At first, that time period was looking to be about three weeks, as the closest appointment which the imaging center had available, was closer to the end of this month. As I tried to steel my nerves, my youngest son texted me this: “Okay, I know you are probably a bit anxious right now, so you know, follow all of the advice you would typically give to me and know that is going to be okay.” Our youngest son lives with epilepsy, so I knew that I had to be brave, if not for me, then for my family, and for trying to live the peaceful philosophies that I have delved into, and I so deeply believe in. I had to “walk the talk.”

And so, for the most part, I did walk my talk. And then, amazingly, I lucked into a cancellation spot and so I was able to have my follow-up testing yesterday. The specialists did a more advanced mammogram on me, and they were still unclear about what they were seeing, so they performed an ultrasound next. My husband was with me. He is my rock. I was scared. I was nervous, but I also knew that whatever came of it, I would be able to handle it. I am blessed with faith, and loving relationships, and I know that society and medicine have come so far in the early detection of breast cancer and viable treatments. I knew, like my son reminded me, that no matter what, I was going to be okay.

Thankfully, it turns out that the areas of concern on my mammograms turned out to be two cysts and a lymph node, and they told me these results, a few minutes after the test. The radiologist stated that I did not need to come back for another year. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. (I’m on my knees.)

There is a naughty, foolish part of me, that sometimes would prefer to keep my head stuck in the sand. “What I don’t know, can’t hurt me.” I sometimes trick my brain into playing Jedi mind tricks on myself. “Total health and wellness, you are,” my inner Yoda likes to say. And truthfully, I think that the Jedi mind tricks are a good medicine to keep taking, as long as I keep taking them, with the prudent steps available to me from modern medicine. Mind and body and spirit are all interwoven, and they have a lot of influence on each other.

Before I got my final results yesterday, a calmness came over me. I feel a deep purpose in being the matriarch of my family. I feel a deep purpose in sharing wisdoms which I have learned, to be cataloged on this blog for myself and anyone else who cares to read them. I feel a deep purpose for following my innate curiosities about learning more about all of the fascinating people and things and experiences to be had in this world. I had an innate sense yesterday, that my purpose is not completed yet. My mission is still going strong. A sense of purpose may very well be the true pulse of life. One of the slogans used during Breast Cancer Awareness month is this: “Hope unleashes your superpower”. There is no doubt in my mind that hope and purpose are indeed, superpowers.

Ladies, if you haven’t already, schedule your yearly mammogram. Do it now.

“Breast friends get screened together”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Come Out Wherever You Are . . .

I have some early morning appointments so I won’t be writing much on the blog today. I do have a plan, though. Today, let’s all of us, let our souls come out of their hiding places, in a big, big way. Clearly, the the world needs a whole lot more love to flow, in order to let the light of our souls shine through all of the darkness. Give some love to whomever you come across today. Let your soul meet their soul. You both will be so much better off for it. This is often a tough world to comprehend for our timeless, peaceful, light-filled souls. But all souls, even the most hidden, “locked up, and chained up, and stuck in a dark basement” kinds of souls, all have the power to recognize the deep and powerful energy of love. Love is kind. Love has empathy. Love notices and focuses on what we have in common, not our differences. Love has mercy. Love is generous. Love is peaceful and harmonious. Love delights in the miracles of our natural world. As Zora Neale Hurston stated, love is the force that brings your beautiful soul to the surface. Let your soul shine today. The world needs your light. The world needs more light.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Courage/Stupidity

“Courage is knowing it might hurt and doing it anyway. Stupidity is the same. That is why life is hard. . . . . .What is the difference between courage and stupidity in your life? A big part of adulting is not crossing the line where your rebelliousness turns into recklessness. The people who ride this line most gracefully usually have a clear eye on their values and a good friend or two who will tell them when they’re being a dumbass. If you can’t decide if you’re being brave or stupid, call a friend.” _ from the Spiritual AF inspirational deck by Roxan McDonald

Earlier this year, I reluctantly agreed to a plan to go on a trip to Egypt with my husband, this upcoming spring. Visiting Egypt is one of my husband’s biggest dreams for a long time now and although I was nervous and not nearly as intrigued as he is with Egypt, I decided that I should muster up my courage and support him and get excited about sharing another wonderful adventure with him. I spoke at length with a sensible friend who had recently traveled to Israel, and she encouraged me to go. At that time, I think that I was choosing to be courageous, and it seemed to me, at that time, that the benefits of the trip certainly outweighed the risks. Egypt might not have seemed like the most safe place in the world for us to visit, but in light of all of the random shootings which we have here in America, “safe” is a relative term.

However, considering the terrifying events of this past weekend, we have cancelled our plans to travel to Egypt this spring. At this point, courage to go there, clearly seems to me, to be veering far more into the realm of recklessness. At my age, recklessness does not appeal to me at all. It goes without saying, that my sensible friend would most likely agree with our decision to not go, in light of the new information about the particularly unstable, worrisome and devastatingly sad circumstances happening in the Middle East.

I love what Roxan McDonald has to say about the fine line between courage and stupidity. This line gets particularly muddled when strong emotions come into play. That is why it is always helpful to have people whom you trust in your life, to be your sounding boards, and your helpful “voices of reason.” In the end, the final decision is totally yours, as it should be, but it is so good to have other people in your life, whom you deeply trust and who have no other stake in the game, other than the fact that they care about you. These people can help you to clear your vision and to see perspectives that you may not have considered, because your decision making process is already clouded by your own preconceptions and heavy emotions. These sounding boards in your life, also help you to get clear on your own desires and inclinations. If you find yourself strongly protesting and arguing against what they advise, this at least, gives you a clear idea of how you really feel about something and what you, yourself truly wants to do. (It’s like that old, wise adage of flipping a coin to make a decision, and then noticing how you are secretly hoping for how the coin will land, while the coin is still up in the air.)

I believe that my husband and I will visit Egypt one day. (Of course, right now my deepest wish is for a peace and comfort for all of the innocent people who are experiencing so much pain and loss in this horrific trauma, and in other traumas happening all over our world. War is hell.) I also know that this time period is not the time for us to go there. At the very least, my level of anxiety would make it impossible for me (and thus, for my husband) to enjoy ourselves and immerse ourselves in the once-in-a-lifetime experience.

There are no perfect answers and decisions about anything in life. These answers and decisions are as unique and personal, as is each individual person and all of the mitigating circumstances surrounding each person. One person’s courageousness is another person’s stupidity. In the end, though, it always comes back to learning to trust one’s self. You have all of the answers that you need inside of yourself. Sometimes you just need a little help excavating those innate answers, and that is one of the beautiful blessings of having each other.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Credit: @woofknight, X

Isn’t the cooler weather wonderful?! After such a hot summer, it’s like diving into a cool, refreshing, clear pool of water.

How’s everyone doing? This was a tough weekend. I’m feeling that universal, low-lying, but seeping in kind of stress in the air, like we had when the pandemic first started. And when you have that kind of permeance of uneasiness, swirling all around you, it sort of punctuates your own individual stresses, doesn’t it? Whatever helps you with stress and concern in your mind and in your body and in your spirit, is your own “toolbox.” Don’t forget to open your toolbox, and to use and to utilize your own helpful “tools.” (exercise, prayer, meditation, music, friendships, nature, healthy, wholesome meals, crying, release, easy chores, funny shows etc.) Also, use this as a time to find and to test new, healthy tools to help ease your stress during eventful times.

“Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious. If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another.”
– Carl Sagan

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” – Mother Teresa

“For me, forgiveness and compassion are always linked: how do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?”– bell hooks

“Humanity is good. Some people are terrible and broken, but humanity is good. I believe that.” – Hank Green


“We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings.” – Albert Einstein

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” – Mahatma Ghandi

“During bad circumstances, which is the human inheritance, you must decide not to be reduced. You have your humanity, and you must not allow anything to reduce that. We are obliged to know we are global citizens. Disasters remind us we are world citizens, whether we like it or not.” – Maya Angelou

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Dumb Little Things

I have a couple of friends who are in the beginning stages of getting divorced. It’s a situation fraught with emotion, and unfortunately, I have proven myself not to be the best support system in this situation. I just always manage to express the wrong words, it seems (my foot-in-mouth game is in full force these days). Last night, my guys were all at a football game, so I decided to watch a couple of podcasts with an interesting character named James Sexton, who is a divorce lawyer in New York City and has been one for over 20 years, in order to better understand the situation my friends are dealing with in their break-ups. James Sexton has handled many high profile/high net worth divorces and he has written a couple of books, the latest called: How to Stay in Love: A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Staying Together. I should mention that James Sexton, himself, is divorced.

James Sexton doesn’t necessarily believe in the institution of marriage, although he claims that he still gets as weepy-eyed and romantic as anyone, at a beautiful wedding. (He claims he always watches the groom, because he loves to see that fullest expression of excitement, and hopefulness and love, in a man’s eyes.) In his experience as a divorce lawyer, Sexton claims that only about 25 percent of people are happily married. Over half of all marriages end in divorce (although people remain bright-eyed and hopeful, as 80 percent of divorced people marry again within 5 years), and he believes that about another 25 percent stay unhappily married because of religion, or for financial reasons, or “for the kids”. James Sexton says it all starts when people first get married. He claims people don’t know what they want out of marriage and when they do figure out what they want, they don’t know how to clearly and effectively communicate what they want to their spouse. James Sexton claims that if all marriages had prenuptial agreements (which he emphatically emphasizes to get) it would force people to confront those issues, and to learn how to communicate better about the “tough stuff”, right out of the box.

What breaks up marriages according to Sexton? He claims that marriages break apart very slowly, until it is “all at once.” While it appears that a marriage ends because a big calamity of cheating or financial blow-ups, the truth is, according to Sexton, that these things are generally the grand finale of a slow meltdown. “It’s dumb little things, man,” he said to one interviewer. He talks about one client first noticing that her marriage was breaking up when her husband no longer purchased her favorite granola, like he always had done. James Sexton says that the little, every day kindnesses (and sometimes even sacrifices) that we do for each other, is what makes our spouse feel so loved and appreciated and special. And he questions, why is this so hard for us to do? Why are we stingy with the actions and the compliments and the cheerleading for the one person who has given us the most to us in our lives, that being the pledge to share their entire lifetime with us? (James Sexton reminds people that all marriages end – either in death or in divorce.) He claims that the happiest marriages almost always seem to be the marriages that have a “us against the big, bad, scary world/life problems” mentality. Sexton says that the happiest marriages are those in which each partner is, by far, the other’s biggest fan and supporter.

I’ve been married for almost 29 years. I am still completely in love with my husband and I believe that he feels the same way about me (he always makes me feel loved and supported and cherished). It’s not always been a cakewalk. We have gone through major moves, job loss, financial disasters, dealing with supporting a child through the ups and downs of epilepsy, a miscarriage, dysfunctional relationships in our extended families, etc. We also have shared four beautiful children, amazing trips and adventures, financial booms, lived in beautiful places and have together loved countless pets, etc. We have shared an interesting, full life experience with each other so far. I feel blessed by my marriage more than anything in my life, but I also get grumpy and resentful and hurt. My husband does, too. In the end, though, I do believe that we both have always made “Team Us” our biggest priority.

The other day, I got a wake-up call from one of my best friends from college. On that day, I realized that she was even a better friend than I ever knew before. We had lunch and during that lunch, I was complaining to her about a trip that my husband wants to take this spring, to a place that I really don’t care to visit. A place that has deeply intrigued him for over a decade, scares me and really doesn’t interest me at all. I have told my husband to go with someone else, but he really wants to share this adventure with me. I have reluctantly agreed, but I have also managed to make him feel guilty and less excited by exuding my obvious blase, disinterested, “I’m doing you a big favor” attitude. After lunch, my friend called me, as we were both driving back to our own homes. She said that she still wanted to talk to me and that’s when she told me her truth: “You have always been an adventurer and a lot of tourists travel to this place every year. If you need to complain or gripe about it, call me, but support him. We’ve always talked about how lucky we feel in our marriages. I think that you should be more supportive of him. You won’t regret it.”

And she was so right! And in that moment, I felt incredibly grateful for my marriage, and also for this particular, insightful friendship all at once. (that kind of burst of gratefulness will bring you to tears – it feels so good) What did I do then? I burst out of the car when I got home and I told my husband how grateful I was for all his support in everything that I have ever wanted throughout the years (including having three dogs when he would have been happy with one, is just one example) and I also confessed what my friend had said to me, and that I realized that she was so right. I said from that moment forward, I have decided to be more open-minded and supportive and interested about the trip. And then my husband smiled and he said that she was always his favorite out of my friends. (ha!)

There is obviously no one magic formula for a happy marriage. James Sexton makes a point that in any other scenarios, almost none of us would enter into a situation with such hopeless odds stacked against us. Still, we do. Our need for love and connection and hope is strong and wired hard, into our DNA. I highly recommend checking out James Sexton on some of his YouTube video interviews. He is insightful, candid, and a great communicator.

“We’ve been indoctrinated to believe that it’s immoral to try to change someone else. We’ve been told that love, real love, is about accepting your partner “for who they are.” But we’re constantly changing our romantic partners merely by our presence in their day-to-day lives. They react to us. We react to them. That’s kind of the point. We influence each other’s behavior and, ideally, help each other, together, be the best version of ourselves.” – James Sexton

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Kia Ora

I love reading articles by Karen Nimmo. She’s a writer and a sports psychologist from New Zealand. She’s practical, sensible, no-nonsense, yet kind and humorous, as well. She says that when people come to her for issues in their lives, she’s noticed six universal cravings that almost all of us human beings seem to have, in order to create satisfactory lives. Karen Nimmo says that these are the six things that people crave the most:

  1. To Be Happy
  2. A Quiet, Calm Mind
  3. More Excitement
  4. More “me time”
  5. To Contribute to the Greater Good
  6. To be Loved

Do these resonate with you? Do you know what makes you happy? Do you know what calms you? What excites you? What would you do with more “me time” if you had it? What is your gift(s) that you bring to your communities and our world? Do you know just how deeply you are loved by many people?

These are good notions to ponder over the weekend. A new moon was just a couple of days ago. New moons are great times for fresh starts. What could you do to give yourself more of anything from the list above?

I will end with this:

Kia ora kou tou!! (this is a greeting that Karen Nimmo uses a lot. It is spoken by the Maori tribe in New Zealand and it is roughly translated as “Have Life! Be Healthy!”) Today Alan Cohen asked the question in his daily inspiration, “Are you letting life love you?” If you want to feel grateful, think of all of the times that life loved you, and took care of you, and made things alright, even at those times that you didn’t feel particularly lovable or worthy of love. Have Life! Be Healthy! Let life love you.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

How to Say I Love You

Yesterday afternoon, I lounged on my porch and I read, in between lazily throwing balls into the pool for Trip and Ralphie to continuously retrieve. (Ralphie and Trip are our true-to-their nature sporting dogs, and all the while, Josie, our true-to-her-nature herding dog, was tirelessly nipping at their heels and earnestly making sure that they got out of the pool, again and again. This morning, we have three exhausted dogs, which makes for a nice, peaceful, uninterrupted morning for this writer gal. All by design . . . ) As I was reading and pondering, something in my reading and meditating and contemplating, sparked me to write this exact text to myself:

“What do you want from this day? From this experience? From your relationships? How do you want to feel? What kinds of outcomes are you looking for? Don’t be a reactor, be a visionary.”

We so often forget that we are the creators of our living experience. The job, the relationships, where we live, how we spend our time, what we eat and drink, what we think about, what we ruminate on, our hobbies, etc. are all of our own choices. If you don’t like some of your choices, you have the ability to change them. You are the one who brought them into your life in the form which they are in, so you have the ability to choose differently. Don’t pick “the victim stance”. It limits you so much.

All of the inspirational reading and listening I have done throughout my entire life – the books, the articles, the cutesy signs, the memes, the meditations, the quotes, really all circle around to the same overall ideas: Be intentional. Be grateful. Be HERE in the present now. Make conscious choices.

And here’s a big one that I want to finish out my year reminding myself and making it a forever practice (and this is a tough one, as a mother of four adult kids who are spread all over the east coast, and as one who has aging relatives and friends, and as one who when she loves, she loves hard and full and deep with her big ol’ entire heart) Worry does not equal love. I am not loving you in the best way that I can when I am worried about you. I put fear energy all around you when I worry about you. It makes you seem small, weak, and victim-like. I am loving you best when I believe in you – when I believe in your strength, and your vision, and your abilities, and when I have faith that Something/Someone so much bigger than all of us, is in your corner, keeping you safe, helping you to carry out your living purpose, which is for the better sake of all of us on this Earth, combined.

I have noticed that when I tell people whom I care about, “I don’t worry about you” and I say it with a tone that implies, ‘I know that you are going to be fine, more than fine. You’ve got the right attitude, heart, and guides to see you through’, this firm statement makes them sit up straighter and feel more empowered and confident than almost anything else I could say to them. “I don’t worry about you,” might be one of the most beautiful variations of “I love you” that we have in our spoken/written communication. Fear is the opposite of love. Worry equals fear, not love.

Readers, continue this beautiful year of your life, living fully and intentionally. Be grateful for all that you have created and will continue to create in your one and only unique life. Finish strong. I know that you will. I love you, readers. I don’t worry about you.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

More Little Nuggets of Truth

This is another sweet nugget of truth which I found in one of my inspirational folders, while cleaning out cupboards:

The Symptoms of Inner Peace by Dr. Jeff Rockwell

1. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experiences.

2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

3. A loss of interest in judging self.

4. A loss of interest in judging others.

5. A loss of interest in conflict.

6. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

7. A loss of ability to worry (this is a very serious symptom).

8. Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

9. Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.

10. Frequent attacks of smiling through the eyes of the heart.

11. Increasing susceptibility to love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

12. An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than to make them happen.

And also in these same folders, I found some notes that I learned from one of my mentors when I was in my early 30s (which was over twenty years ago, sigh.) She said that she had seven rules/reminders/wisdoms to live by, in order to live a good life. Here are her rules that she laid out for herself:

  1. I am responsible to state and meet my own needs. Other adults are responsible to state and meet their own needs.
  2. Do not be a hypocrite. We are all always changing and growing. Don’t say “I’ll never”, instead say, “As it stands today, with my current scope of wisdom and knowledge, I don’t see myself doing ‘whatever’. ”
  3. The only person you can ever change is yourself.
  4. Don’t judge others on their preferences and habits. No one is 100 percent evil and those who hurt others were often hurt themselves. Still discern who belongs in either of these two categories: “Allowed to be close to me” and “Not allowed to be close to me.” Boundaries are for you, in order to protect yourself.
  5. What people think of me is none of my business.
  6. I am only in competition with myself. I am the only “me” that will ever be, thus I am my only project.
  7. I am human. I will make mistakes. Make apologies and amends where possible. Change my actions and move forward in a healthier direction. Forgive myself.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

This Is A Good One

I remember many years ago my uncle relaying a story of sitting next to “The Boss” (Bruce Springsteen) on an airplane heading to New Jersey, and my uncle said that Bruce was an incredibly nice, gracious, down-to-earth man. Since the theme of the blog this week seems to be trending towards “good, kind-hearted people”, I thought that I would share this video. Good people are everywhere. Make it a point to look for them. They usually don’t make a show of it, but they are everywhere. If you make a point of looking out for something, you will be surprised about how often you find it. Sometimes you will feel inundated. Try it. Pick anything – a red rose, a butterfly, a dolphin, an orange car, etc. and marvel at how many times in a small amount of time you see this particular thing or an image or representation of this item, as you are going about doing your daily life. ( “The Baader–Meinhof phenomenon is an example of such biased attention. What is it called when you learn something and then see it everywhere? This phenomenon is called the Baader–Meinhof phenomenon or the frequency illusion.” – Scribbr) Why not add kind, wonderful, thoughtful people to your list of things that you want to see on a daily basis? Wouldn’t that be a great uplift to your every day?

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good Food for the Soul

Our daughter experienced the last day of her summer job, this past Sunday. She worked at a popular, local ice cream shop near to one of our more beloved beaches. At dinner last night, my daughter told my husband and I that what she loved most about this particular job, is that it “brought her back to herself” again. Needless to say, this perked my ears.

“I lost myself a little bit, at the end of spring semester,” she said honestly and earnestly. “And these kind, fun, full of camaraderie people whom I worked with, along with the regular, supportive customers, and the excited, happy-go-lucky vacationing out-of-towners, brought me back to my natural self.”

Our daughter is a rising sophomore at a large, competitive university. None of her closest friends from high school ended up attending this same university with her, so she had to navigate a lot on her own, this past freshman year, in an environment that sometimes felt like swimming with the sharks, to her. I told my daughter how proud I was of her, for her considerate self-awareness. I reminded her what a good lesson she has learned, and I hope that she will be able to remember it, and to apply it, for the rest of her life.

“It is healthy and important to limit interactions with people who make you feel ‘less than’, or who you are afraid to be your true self with – these are not your people,” I said to her. “How you feel around a person speaks volumes. You must be true to yourself. You will never be happy if you feel that you can’t be the authentic version of the one-and-only-you. We all get cheated when people aren’t able to be fullest and deepest and truest expression of their own unique selves. People who accept you, and love you for your own distinctive qualities are the best kind of people there are in this world. Remember to be that kind of person for other people, too.”

The ice cream shop coworkers were a hodgepodge of older, full-time managers and workers, college students from all different universities and colleges, working for the summer, and a few high school students sprinkled in for good measure. Based on the funny stories, the social events they had with each other outside of work, and the support and cooperation and consideration shown to each other during busy, bustling work nights (all things which our daughter had relayed to us throughout the summer), it became extremely evident, that this eclectic group of people made for an amazing, good-for-the-soul, mix of coworkers and friends.

Sometimes in life, when all of the individual ingredients are so wholesome and incredible on their own merit, and they come together in one spot, you end up with something like an absolutely unbeatable, unforgettable delicious hot fudge sundae. For me, the fact that my daughter learned to appreciate the goodness and the sweetness of people who make you comfortable to be fully yourself, the people who help you to bring “the you” out of you, and who celebrate you and appreciate you, is the biggest, juiciest, most delightful cherry on top, of this memorable experience, in her young adult life.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.