I am terrible at giving directions. I am terrible at following directions. GPS directions technology has changed my own life, in incredible ways. Do you remember when you used to have to give people directions? Or when a slow moving car would sidle by you when you were walking, and ask you for directions? (This was such a tense, anxiety inducing situation for me. First, I would worry that someone was going to try to abduct me. Then, when they asked for directions, I would feel a slight tinge of relief, before the anxiety of having to give directions would make me all tense and nervous all over again.) Do you remember trying to decipher all of the funny landmarks someone would try to describe to you when you asked them for directions? Do you remember using paper maps? Do you remember having to try to fold back up said maps? My kids still love to tease me about the reams of paper I used up, in order to print out textbooks of Mapquest directions for our various road trips. Yes, in my own personal life, GPS on-time directions might be the one of the most positive change inducing inventions which I have ever experienced.
I was thinking, wouldn’t it be great if we could channel our own inner directions and guidance as easily as we can with GPS? Why does our intuition have to be so damn subtle and elusive sometimes? We definitely need better technology than Magic 8 balls for our sixth sense.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
My husband and my daughter both have off today, so we’re going out to breakfast! This is my favorite kind of Monday.
Interesting quote to think about today:
“Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.” – H.G. Wells
I can cringe thinking about a few times in my my own life when feeling jealous of someone’s ability to feel absolutely free to be themselves and to do what they want to do, led me to “hide” this fact behind a cloud of moral superiority and judgment. I think that we have seen a lot of this going on in these years of coronavirus, and extremely divisive politics.
But I have eggs and bacon waiting for me, so I’ll let you finish that thought . . .
Have a great day, if you want to . . . !
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I’m a big believer in trying to make every day a good day, but come on, on Fridays, “the good part” just doesn’t take much effort, does it? Friday is my favorite day of the week, mostly because I love the feelings of freedom and anticipation. On Fridays, here at the blog, I list my favorites. Typically, I try to list around three favorite products, or books, or TV shows, or whatevers that have helped to make my life interesting and enjoyable. Please share some of your favorites in my Comments section. It’s always fun to discover new favorites.
My favorite reading this morning:
“We cannot wake up and know who we are, as we are always building it. Much remains unreconciled, an indication of being alive.” – Holiday Mathis
Friends, we are all works in progress. That’s the joy and the process of living. Cut yourself a break this weekend and just experience the experience without judgment. Please, don’t take yourself so seriously. Be grateful that you have all of the ingredients: mind, body, and spirit, in order to fully experience the awesomeness of living a life on Earth. That’s honestly all there is to it.
My favorite story of the week:
My friend asked her mother-in-law if she believed in “love at first sight.” “Absolutely!” her mother-in-law replied. “It’s happened to me 14 times!” I imagine that there was a pregnant pause at this moment. I know that my eyebrows were raised listening to my friend tell her story. I thought to myself, “Wow, now that’s what I call a romantic!”
My friend’s mother-in-law continued, “The first time that I laid eyes on my three sons, and my eleven grandchildren and great-grandchildren, I completely experienced love at first sight. No doubts about it.”
Some people are just so awesome to their very cores, aren’t they???
My second favorite story of the week: (This time I was eavesdropping at my physical therapy session. My regular readers know that I do this. Tsk. Tsk. It’s a bad habit of mine, but you must know, we writers tend to eavesdrop. Facts.)
The young male physical therapist was lamenting to his older female patient about how much his young sons fight and argue. The woman mentioned that her own sons are now in their forties, but when they were young and they were fighting and fussing, she would take two chairs, sit them down and make the boys face each other. She would then say, “Compliment each other, until I say stop!”
Now, the woman admitted that this activity never went the way that she had planned. One boy would start with, “I really like how ugly your hair looks today.” And then the other brother would try to creatively top his brother’s “compliment” with something even better, like, “I really like how you keep proving to me that you are even stupider than I thought you were . . . ” The woman told her PT that the boys got a big hoot and holler out of this activity and they would end up in fits of laughter, and they would be buddies all over again in a matter of minutes. The brothers would bond over clever and witty insults disguised as compliments. (As a mother of three sons, I know that this has to be a true story. Boys get a charge out of insulting each other. I’ve never quite understood it, but it does create a bro-bond like nothing else does.)
When I hear stories like these, I always think to myself, “Why didn’t I think of that???” It almost makes me want to go back to mothering young children. (“Almost” being the key word here.)
My favorite product of the week:
My husband and I went to the grocery store together to pick out a pile of junk food to enjoy while watching the Super Bowl last Sunday. Russell Stover chocolates were “buy one/ get one” at our local Publix. How perfect, his and her boxes of chocolate, even before Valentine’s Day!!! After devouring two boxes of Russell Stover Assorted Milk Chocolate Covered Nuts this week, my husband and I both agreed that we have been way too snobby about Russell Stover candy. I wish that I didn’t love this candy as much as I do. I wish that I was still a chocolate snob who hadn’t eaten 26 pieces of Russell Stover chocolate this week. My husband even noted that the candy was not perfectly molded to the point that it almost looked like it was homemade. Go get you some Russell Stover chocolates today, if there is any left. It is sure to be on sale after Valentines Day.
That’s all from me for today. Remember that favorites come in all different packages and many favorites are absolutely free. List your favorites today. This activity will bring a smile to your face. I promise you. This activity is one of my favorite things to do because it brings the joy of my favorites bubbling up to the surface, all over again.
See you tomorrow! Have a great weekend!!!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I thought that I would help out my fellow writers this morning. This one made me giggle and yet also made me be a little in awe of its cleverness at the same time. Maybe that’s the true mark of excellent writing.
Have a great week!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I thought that this meme was funny, but truthfully, I’ve had a good week. I hope that you have, too! But of course, even if you had a lousy week, do not fret. It is Friday!!! Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! On Fridays, I don’t deeply ponder. I purchase, I prance around, and I plunge into pleasure. On Fridays, on the blog, I typically list three favorite things, or songs, or websites, or shows, etc. that make my heart sing and I hope that you will share some of your favorites, too. I only have two favorites to share today, as I am a little pressed for time. Without further adieu:
Professional Wooden Slant Board for Calf Stretching – My piriformis muscle is all out of whack, so for the first time in my life (thankfully), I am going to physical therapy. My physical therapist is a great young lady, but she laughed coyly, when she told me that I’m a tad blunt and direct. In that moment, I came to the realization that I may have become one of those cantankerous old dames with bad hips. She asked me, “What is your goal with your physical therapy?” I said, “To fix the damn pain in my butt cheek.” Anyway, I still think that we’re friends. She introduced me to this slant board yesterday at PT and it was the best feeling stretch I have ever experienced in my life. It helped everything. My physical therapist said that she, herself, uses the slant board every day. So, I went home and I promptly went to Amazon, and purchased one for myself, so that I, too, can use it every single day. (Supposedly, it is great for plantar fasciitis, too.) Another good tip that I learned at PT is that I cross my legs too much. Apparently, I am too sexy and yet too modest, for my own good. When you cross your legs, you get unbalanced and your bones do more of the work than your muscles. Supposedly it is best to always stand and sit with balance. (And I am now coming to the realization that I am becoming one of those cantankerous old dames who talks too much about her ailments. Sigh.)
Mark & Graham monogram store – I know that you Southerners, in particular, love you some monogrammed stuff. I happened upon this website the other day and apparently, you can purchase anything in the world, with a personalized monogram. This is like a classier, easier to navigate Things Remembered. Remember “Things Remembered” at every mall in 1980s America??? Honestly, Mark & Graham is a great website, fun to peruse, because who doesn’t like a nice personalized “something something” as a gift for others, or even for yourself? Monograms make ordinary things special to you.
Have a great, fun, interesting, enthralling, yet comforting weekend! I’ll be here tomorrow, if you need me.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
“I saw my shadow today. 6 more weeks of dieting.” – Jessie@mommajessiec (Twitter)
“You’ll solve the problem and get a surge of gleeful excitement. This kind of charge could get addictive. And who do you have to thank for it? The problem itself, without which none of this would be possible.” – Holiday Mathis
“Welcome to your 50’s; you’re unable to drive at night now.” – whatitsmenej (Twitter)
These quotes above, are what is resonating with me this morning. Using my recent colonoscopy as a springboard, my husband and I decided to give the popular “intermittent fasting” a try, in order to lose some of the pandemic pounds that were so easily added over the last couple of years. (Why is it never as easy to take these pounds off, as it was to put them on?!?) We went to bed at 8:23 p.m. last night, to end the suffering. I am seriously considering going on Ralphie’s (our Labrador retriever) diet, instead. A couple of cups of Hills Science Diet RX Ridiculously Expensive Emergency Lose Weight In a Big Hurry or Pay For ACL Surgery kibble actually sounds like a bountiful banquet, compared to yesterday’s Jello and broth cuisine. (although, of course, Ralphie was still begging for my Jello . . .)
And how about Holiday Mathis’s quote? It’s true, isn’t it? There is great satisfaction in solving problems, but if there are no problems, there is nothing to solve. We all know the typical, classic good feelings, such as giving and receiving gifts of love and kindness, or finding something, like a book or a movie or an adventure to be funny and fun and enthralling, or the feeling of being totally passionate about someone or something, or the feeling of great pride in achieving a hard-won goal. (and honestly, one of my all-time favorite feelings is satisfying my raging curiosity) But right up there, in the all-time greats of feelings, is the satisfaction of problem-solving, right? There is something really triumphant feeling about checking off another thing on the “to-do” list. So, the next time we look at our exhausting, seemingly never-ending to-do lists of things to do and to fix and to solve and to get to the bottom of, let’s also look at these lists as a list of things that are going to bring us the excellent feeling of great satisfaction, with each item that we finish, and cross off of the list. We all know, “There is no light without darkness.”
Finally, when I was young and stupid, it used to annoy me when older women would complain about driving in the dark. “Things have a weird haze to them at night now, especially the street lights.” “My depth perception is all funny at night.” “I don’t like to drive too far in the dark.” Damn, it wasn’t a made-up thing. Add “I don’t like to drive too much at night anymore,” to my list of things which I told myself that I would never, ever say when I got older, but have already said, more than once. Never say never.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
This is how my mind works: For some crazy reason, as I was folding some laundry earlier this week, I started to think about a girl who I was friends with, in middle school. We were in a lot of the same classes and we played on the basketball team together. One day, we were being driven to practice by her mother, and I distinctly remember my friend turning around, from her front seat, looking at me, and saying how much she hated when people didn’t comb out their hair. Now, this was back in the early eighties, when a lot of us girls set our hair, in pink foam curlers, at night (you know the ones). Lovely. Just lovely. Ha! Anyway, my friend and I were no exception to the pink curler habit. Now, my friend, was a really cute girl, and she had really cute, short blond hair that she set in these pink foam curlers, every single night. And truth be told, my friend seemingly never really completely combed out any of those curls. It was something that I had actually noticed about her many times. Even that day, I had noticed a row on the back of her head, of uncombed out, blonde curls that could have easily still been molded on to the pink foam, that’s how perfectly and distinctly those curls sat, perched on the back of her head. But really, she was an adorable girl, she was my friend, and I figured that she liked to wear her hair that way.
At that moment, when my friend decided to announce that she hated uncombed hair on people, I kind of froze. My first go-to move, as any insecure, gawky, middle-school age girl would do (and honestly, probably the first go-to of any woman, of any age, who feels a little insecure about her own looks and persona, on any particular day) was to quickly finger my own hair, to make sure that I had combed it out sufficiently. My next go-to, which is always my go-to move, to this day, was to start panicking and to start over-thinking about the situation. Was this a test? What would a true friend do? Should I tell her about her own uncombed curls? Does she know about her curls, and is daring me to say something? Would this turn into an argument? Would she start counter-attacking me? Could I handle that? Was our friendship doomed over uncombed curls?
I remember deciding to just meekly agree with her and then quickly change the subject. “I know, I hate that, too. How’d you do on the English quiz?” I must have said something to this affect. But obviously and pathetically, this is an exchange that I still go over in my mind, from time to time, forty years later. (Am I alone in remembering some of this crazy, random stuff? The amount of stuff that I don’t remember scares me sometimes, but these kinds of seemingly inconsequential, quirky memories are the kinds of situations that my mind likes to catalog, and then send frequent pop-up reminders, like pop-up ads on the internet. And next, my mind goes, “Hey, this could be a blog post.” And then, here we are . . . )
As I pondered this situation, in my mind, once again, earlier this week, I thought to myself, “It really is true. Whenever we really have a visceral reaction to something, or when we decide that we have to announce that we “hate” something, there most likely, is a hint of whatever that thing is, inside of us, that we have decided to disown.” The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. If we are indifferent to something, we really don’t care about it. The things that we are indifferent about, have no meaning or interest to us. Love and hate evoke passion and strong feelings. We feel attached to the things which we love, and yes, it is true, we even feel attachment to the things which we say that we hate.
I decided that I might finally be able to put that silly memory about my friend to rest, if I memorialize it, by playing sleuth on my own self. The next time that feel the need to announce that I hate what someone else is doing, I must look for that same action in myself. I must humble myself to find it, try to correct it, and to forgive myself for 1) doing it, and 2) for projecting it completely on to someone else. I am the only “project” that I have to work on in this world. And oh my, what an eccentric, complicated, interesting, goofy, fun, intriguing project I have been assigned! The project of “me” is enough for any one lifetime. This I know.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
The truth is, we did actually reclaim our middle sons’ bedroom this weekend and it feels incredible. A place that I used to avoid like the coronavirus, is now a place that I run to, to just sit in, and to bask in its simplicity, order, and peacefulness. Of course, it will always be our boys’ room, and they are welcome to be in it at any time, but since their busy lives have taken them elsewhere for most of the time, it feels so good to have a place of stillness and tidiness, in what has been, for most of my adulthood, a rather chaotic, often sloppy household. (a four kids and three dogs family lends itself towards a little bit of disorder) My husband said that the boys’ room is like a physical manifestation of our new stage in life. I can see that I am going to appreciate some aspects of this new stage, for sure. (Although, in fairness, on Saturday, as we were giddily buying up accent pieces in a store, and proudly telling the clerk that we were reclaiming our kids’ room, one nosy, snarky shopper pointedly interrupted us to say, “You know that they come back, don’t you?!? Prepare yourself.”)
The responses from my sons, to the pictures I texted to them:
“Yo, is that for real our room?”
“I can’t believe that was our room.”
“Wow, that looks so much better.”
The one thing about empty nests, is that they sure are easier to keep clean and well-kept. I imagine that I will feel winsome for the chaotic mess, at times, but for now, I am going to go back into their bedroom, smile a little, and just breathe.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
“Some people are museums of little things that matter.” – ghost @dead poet ______ (Twitter)
I love this quote. We all know people like this, don’t we? These are people who have a knack of putting neat little touches on anything and everything. Or these are the people who know just the right words to say, or the things to do, just at the right time. I have always said that I want this blog to be a sweet little museum of thought and ideas. I like being a curator of “things that make you go hmmm.” I like being a curator of little thoughts that can make a big difference. I like being reminded of the little things that matter.
With that thought in mind, Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog and I have discovered a new (new to me, anyway), interesting, spicy new poet. He’s a little profane and to the point, which makes his poetry so good. My amazing aunt, who has been a wonderful supporter of my blog, since day one, recently told me that she likes all of the different “voices” which I bring to the blog. She was paying me a kind compliment, but I, of course, had to make the joke that the blog’s different “voices” all come from my multiple personalities (you know, all of the little voices in my head 😉 ). Today, I celebrate the naughty, edgy side of my personality, by sharing this poet’s work. If you prefer to keep Sundays sweet and holy, perhaps it is best to read Jonny Ox’s poetry, tomorrow.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Hi friends! We made it!! Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! On Fridays, I keep it on the surface. On Fridays, I typically list three favorite things or songs or books or whatevers that have made my own life a little bit more interesting. What are your favorites? Here are my favorites for today:
Parker Thatch “143” sweatshirt – I fell in love with Parker Thatch, back when the company was called Iomoi (which stands for “I owe me”) and they mostly sold really cool and quirky stationery. Parker Thatch is much easier to pronounce. I miss their stationery, but I came across this offering and I think that it’s wonderful. Unfortunately I noticed that only the XL is still available, but my guess is that they will get more of these sweatshirts in stock, with Valentine’s Day right around the corner. The hyperlink isn’t working, so just Google “Parker Thatch 143”. It is worth going there just for the story of “143”. Most of us think that “143” originated with Mister Rogers, but honestly, it all started with a light house in Boston back in the 1800s . . . . Parker Thatch is a pricey place, but it is fun to check out their website. It’s stylish and cool and interesting.
One Love Baseball Caps – Staying with the theme of love (don’t forget about Valentine’s), I love wearing my “One Love” baseball cap. I particularly enjoy wearing it when I am hiking. It is such a good reminder that together, we all create “One Love.” It makes me feel better about everything and everyone when I wear it. Seriously. You can get your own “One Love” trucker cap at this website:
https://www.portsandz.com/onelovelandingpage
Genuine Fred Subversive Cross Stitch – My son got me a Daily Sampler Desktop Affirmations by Fred, for Christmas. And I love it. I enjoy changing it every single day. Today’s sweet little cross stitch sampler, sitting right by me, as I write my blog post says this, “What Fresh Hell is This?” Fred also sells subversive sponges and bag clips. This is the kind of kitsch that I just love. Funny is fabulous.
Friends, I forgot my tagline the last few days on the blog. Until I find a better one, here it is (Remember, you are a vital part of “One Love”. Do you. Do your part.):
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
