My youngest son is taking a stress management course this summer which is required for his business degree. He was telling me that in these early days of the course they are going over the facts of just how bad stress is for your health – physical and mental. As someone who has had many different kinds of pets over the years, it is always the common mantra in animal wellness, that the animal must avoid stress in order to remain happy and healthy. Stressed birds pluck out their feathers. Stressed fish sink to the bottom of the tank in despair. (And remember, we are animals, too.) While the stress/health connection is an obvious truth, the idea of how just how bad stress is for one’s health, honestly, just has the tendency to stress me even more.
A big component to stress is overthinking. So, you know, don’t overthink. Ha! Don’t think about elephants. Don’t think about lemons in your mouth. Are your lips puckered? I am an overthinker. If you are one of my regular readers, you probably have already gotten that sense about me. But overthinking is not good nor helpful. It is a major component in fueling stress. So, how do we stop overthinking?
As with any problem in life, the only way to get a hold of overthinking, is to become aware of it to begin with. That’s when our feelings and sensations come in handy. If you are feeling stressed, why are you feeling stressed? Chances are, if you aren’t right in the middle of a stressful crisis that actually requires action on your part, and yet, you are still feeling stressed, you are overthinking about it. Get curious about yourself. Become aware. Awareness is the first step to any meaningful change in your life. If you become a highly aware person, you will feel more control in your life, and more control equals less stress.
Once you notice your own stressful rumination, lead that rumination and overthinking to problem solving. If it turns out that you are stressed about a problem that you have no control over, then lead yourself to think about how you can take steps to change your attitude about the problem. Challenge the thoughts that are popping into, and swirling around your mind about the problem. We have a tendency to be dramatic and to use black/white thinking when we are stressed. We have a tendency to use absolutes like “Life will NEVER get better!” when we are overthinking. Look at your statements from a detached point of view. Laugh at yourself. Tell yourself how over-the-top and ridiculous that you are sounding, like you would say to a good friend if they were saying some of the theatrical statements that are dancing around in your head, out loud. Roll your eyes at yourself. Keep it all in perspective.
Many people have success with giving themselves a certain time period of the day, when they will allow themselves to ruminate. They give themselves an “overthinking block of time.” The key here is to put an absolute time limit on this overthinking period. What often happens is that when you give yourself the “comfort” of having a time block when you will allow yourself to overthink and ruminate, by the time that you actually get to that said period in the day, you no longer feel the urge nor the need to do it any longer. Sometimes, by that time, the problem has already been solved.
Finally, to avoid the stress of overthinking, deploy mindfulness techniques, like focusing on your breathing patterns, or distract yourself with activities like the alphabet of gratitude. I am grateful for Apples, Breakfast, Candy (hmmm, I am noticing a theme here. If you can’t concentrate on simple one-word things, while going through the alphabet of gratitude, go into more detail for each item that you are thankful for, such as, “I am grateful for fabulous Breakfast Buffets that include things like savory bacon and chocolate muffins and eggs however I want them cooked, with delightful spicy sauces to put on anything and everything” . . . you get the picture.)
Stress is an unavoidable fact of life, but overthinking about your stress is avoidable and curable. Overthinking does nothing to alleviate stress. In fact, overthinking exacerbates stress. Don’t worry about how much you stress. Don’t overthink about how much stress that you have in your life. Uh oh. Right now might be the time to play the elaborate alphabet of gratitude game. A, B, C . . . . .
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
