Tag: funny

My Sweet Friday

Cauliflower. Albino broccoli. When did it become amazing? It feels like it was just in the last few years that we have truly explored the wonders of cauliflower. When I was a kid, I loved white chocolate. (Who am I kidding? I still love white chocolate.) Anyway, every single Easter, the Easter Bunny would bring me a big, white chocolate bunny which I would gnaw on throughout the Easter season. Once, when I was out in my yard, and my white chocolate bunny had become just a little white nub full of teeth marks, my snoopy next door neighbor yelled out to me, “Dear, what is that, that you are gnawing on?” I explained that I was feverishly gnawing on what was left of my white chocolate Easter bunny. “Oh silly me!” she exclaimed. “I thought that it was hunk of cauliflower.” That’s then when we both doubled over in hysterical laughter. Feasting on cauliflower! Was she crazy?!? If this had happened nowadays, versus in the 1970s, I would have better understood her confusion. Cauliflower is good! My favorites for today, on this Favorite Things Friday are two cauliflower crusted pizzas, and a delicious bag of non-potato “tater tots”, made of, you guessed it, cauliflower. These items are delicious. They are not quite as good as white chocolate, but I would put them right up there, and they are not full of sugar.

Kirkland Signature Supreme Cauliflower Crust Pizza (a supreme pizza with meat) and Milton’s Craft Bakers Roasted Vegetable Cauliflower Crust Pizza (no meat) are both delicious brands of cauliflower crusted pizza that can be found at Costco. We get them every time we go to Costco (which is a lot, of course, because we’re a middle-aged married couple) and we haven’t tired of them yet! They come with two pizzas to a box. And you should be able to get Green Giant Veggie Tots Cauliflower, Cheese, & Bacon at any self-respecting grocery store. Try them, you’ll love them. And maybe, because of the pride that you’ll feel for yourself for eating healthier options, you might be able to add a little white chocolate in the mix, for dessert.

Have a delightful, holiday weekend, friends! So long, summer! It’s been real.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Free Range Adults

Every first of the month, I go to Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone. Susan Miller has been doing astrology for a long, long time, and without fail, on the first day of every month, she writes a little excuse as to why the horoscopes aren’t ready yet. I can’t remember the last time the monthly horoscopes were ready to be read on the morning of the first day of any said month. Today’s excuse was a headline, highlighted in green. And I laugh to myself, as I wonder why Susan Miller even bothers to write excuses. First of all, her monthly horoscopes are FREE. She doesn’t owe me, or any other reader, jack doodle. And when the monthly horoscopes finally do appear (usually within the first few days of the month), they are delightful to read. They are thoughtful, usually 5-7 pages long, replete with a summary, in case you don’t have time to read 5-7 pages, and you just want some highlights. So convenient! If I went to Astrology Zone this morning, expecting my horoscope to be prepared to be read today, that’s on me. And if I feel disappointed that it isn’t ready, my disappointment was caused by my unrealistic expectation, not by Susan Miller. If you have a friend who is always late to things, adjust your expectations. You can try to express your concern with your friend’s tardiness with them, but if this direct communication doesn’t work, you must make adjustments. Adjust the time you show up for meetings with this friend, or even decide that your frustration is not worth meeting one-on-one with this person. Decide that you’ll just see this person at celebrations or gatherings which include other people whom you can mingle with, until the tardy person saunters in. If we can learn to be realistic about our own expectations and what we actually have control over, a lot of our angst can be solved for us. And honestly, excuses are useless.

And in other news, I went to our veterinarians’ office yesterday, to pick up our 81- pound Labrador retriever’s prescription diet kibble. (Actually, we found out that this is Ralphie’s ideal weight. He was hovering around 100 pounds during COVID lockdown. I am seriously considering going on this kibble diet myself. I could stand to lose my pandemic weight gain, and this is a prepackaged, no need to cook, easy diet plan. Yes, it’s true. This kibble gets more and more enticing every single day that jeans-wearing weather gets closer on the calendar.) Our awesome veterinarians are a married couple, who are about the same ages as me and my husband. The wife saw me picking up the food, and asked me how things are going with me. I told her that we just officially became empty nesters. Dr. Sarah (as she is fondly known) is a bubbly, smart, energetic, Hispanic woman. She got animated and her eyes lit up, when I mentioned empty nesting. “Ah yes! We are now empty nesters, too! It’s so peaceful and quiet and our house stays clean and neat and we are going on a trip this weekend, just the two of us. I feel kind of guilty saying this, but I am kinda liking this empty nest.” I smiled at her knowingly. “No need for guilt, Dr. Sarah. I feel the exact same way.” And as we each talked excitedly about our weekend plans, the receptionist, whose kids are in elementary school, gave us both the side-eyed stink-eye.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

credit: @woofknight, Twitter

Good morning. It’s Monday. Any future trippers, here? Anyone future tripping about this week, next week, next month?! It’s so easy to do, isn’t it? Just make an outline of your plans, fully understanding that some of these plans will be derailed, and surprises will happen – exciting and disappointing. Nothing will happen exactly as you have planned, and that is what makes life so interesting. Just lean on the fact that you are fully equipped to deal with whatever happens. You’ve proven it to yourself, again and again. Next week has been exhilarating . . . .

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Today’s Mantra

Credit: @WholesomeMeme, Twitter
credit: @Mindset4_Life, Twitter

These are the memes that spoke to me from Twitter today. I read also on Twitter that Harry Styles is extremely upset about what people are putting out on social media about his girlfriend, Olivia Wilde. He said this about Twitter: “a s***storm of people trying to be awful to people.”

I think Harry is right. Social media can be extremely negative, harmful, mean and bullying. It can also be filled with inspiration, beauty, and wisdom. It’s what you look for in anything, that makes it so. Most people, places, and things are just neutral. We put the meaning and stories and attention into/on the item, or the person, or the relationship to these people, places and things. What is terrible for me, might be wonderful for you. The key is to put the focus on what is wonderful for you.

Are you letting yourself be loved, you grumpy little shit? Earlier this week, I got a root canal and honestly, I haven’t felt this good in quite some time. I realize I had been walking around, ignoring a growing, gnawing problem (literally in my head) that I was hoping would magically just disappear. Most of the time, life doesn’t work this way though, right? Our bodies, and our emotions send signals which grow louder and louder, for a purpose. They are saying, “Let yourself be loved, you grumpy little shit!”

Truthfully, I have more energy and vitality than I have felt in a while. I had the infection removed and my whole body is sighing with relief. My husband read that in the 1800s, people had a higher average body temperature than we have these days, because many people walked around with low-lying infections and diseases that could not be remedied. We have so many remedies these days for so many problems. Are you utilizing the remedies that are needed for your own mind, your own body, and your own spirit?

Today’s mantra is “Let yourself be loved, your grumpy little shit.” (and this means putting a big emphasis on showing love to yourself in your every waking moment, and in every decision that you make for yourself. Love and gratitude radiates outward from a healthy, loving heart. We will all benefit from your healing.)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Letting Go Again

“Don’t be sad – Autumn is nature’s way of showing us how beautiful letting go can be.” – James Norbury

I love autumn. I live in Florida. “Summer” is like the rest of the states’ “winter” here in Florida. Summer is the season which most of us Floridians count down the days for it to soon be over. In summer in Florida, you won’t see most of us natives outside, except for the wee hours of the morning, or until it is dark, unless of course, we are floating in a body of water. There’s lots of water here. Yes, I love autumn.

This autumn will punctuate letting go for me, more than perhaps any other autumn in my life. Last Thursday, my once chaotic, full of noise and action, sometimes “bursting apart at the seams” fluffy, homey nest became officially empty, as we watched my youngest two children drive off to their shared university. Sigh. This “letting go” lesson will never go away during our lifetimes, will it? The thing that we most have to let go of in life, is probably the kneejerk reaction to stubbornly revolt against letting go.

“Oh, honey, once you get into your fifties, your “Check Engine” light comes on more and more. Get used to it.” – Theresa, the pulls-no-punches receptionist at my dentist’s office, who pulled strings to get me into the endodontist yesterday. Bless her wise and practical heart.

I had my first root canal yesterday. I was fine with letting go of the nerves of that molar. I feel surprisingly good today. These endodontists seem to have this treatment down to a science these days. The root canal honestly didn’t hurt, and the pain relief is such a blessing. Whenever I experience the intense pain of a toothache, or an earache, etc. I gain new pounds of compassion (see, my extra pounds are just compassion pounds) for people who live with unending pain every single day. I can’t imagine trying to go about your business when your intense pain is constantly screaming at you.

While I was in the waiting room of the endodontist, I got to talking to an older woman who was sitting near to me. She told me not to worry. She’s done fine with all of her root canals. However, what was really tough for this woman is that she had just survived, in her own words, a “heartbreak heart attack.” She suffered a heart attack right after her beloved dog of thirteen years died in her arms. She assured me that “heartbreak heart attacks” are a real thing. She didn’t have to convince me. Those of us who love hard and deep, have vulnerable hearts.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday-Funday

Credit: Rex Masters, Twitter

I can’t write much this morning. I have to go see about a tooth. It appears that there is a root canal in my future. (sigh) If my writing appears erratic this week, know that it is because I am either in horrific pain, or I am extraordinarily loopy on pain drugs. Could be interesting . . . . I hope that your week is starting out better than mine.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday-Funday

The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge. —Stephen Hawking

I think that this is the big crossroads of aging versus staying youthful. If we grow into our age believing that we know everything and that we have everything all figured out, our mind becomes old and decrepit. There is no elasticity there. Our mind is stuck in its own judgmental closed capsule of fluids that are turning a decaying yellow. When we stay curmudgeonly stuck in the process of aging, we choose only to focus on things that emphasize and validate to us, what we smugly think that we already know.

A youthful mind can’t get enough. A youthful mind is curious, imaginative, creative, and full of wonder and innocence. A youthful mind constantly gets replenished in gargantuan waterfalls of inspiration and refreshed in the pools of hope and possibility.

And below is just for fun because it is Monday – Funday (and its a good reminder to remain youthful) Bugles are so underrated:

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

School Days

“Career OVER. I’ve made my mark. I’m done. We were lining up for lunch. A student gives me a hug. I immediately start joking. Are you looking for an A?! Do you want a candy bar?! She looks up at me and says: You’re the reason I come to school.” (credit: @joypcoffee, Twitter)

Teachers, you are amazing. I am friends with many excellent teachers. And I can still call out the teachers by name who made a big difference in my own life and of course, I can also call out by name the teachers who made a huge difference in the lives of our four children. Teachers, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The kids in our area started school this week. It feels surreal. This will be the first time in over two decades that I won’t belong to a PTA, or have to go on a scavenger hunt to find an odd colored folder with a specific amount of pockets that doesn’t exist.

Our youngest child, our daughter, started college this summer. She is home for a couple of weeks before she heads back to her university for the fall session. She was horrified when were in a store the other day and the clerk asked her if she was doing back-to-school shopping. “I’m in college,” she declared, loud and proud, for everyone around to hear. At what age does the shift occur when we no longer want to be noticed for being older and more mature? I can’t even remember. That ship sailed a long, long time ago for me. I did feel slightly delighted (and a little embarrassed) when I was purchasing BOGO iced animal crackers and the clerk asked me if these were for school snacks. “My kids are all grown,” I admitted. “These are mature woman sneaky snacks for when sugar cravings hit.” She nodded in full understanding.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. Many people think that poetry has to be serious, long, confusing, emotional, hard to understand and difficult to decipher. It’s easy to forget that Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein were also world famous poets with their fun and silly, rhymey ditties. Today’s poem is written by the Hollywood actor, Woody Harrelson. He wrote the poem on social media, to a response to an Irish mother posting a picture of her daughter Cora, remarking on Cora’s resemblance to Woody.

Oh Woody! You’re delightful!

Those who dismiss you are just being spiteful.

I’ve enjoyed your many roles over the years.

But my favorite is when you were the bartender on Cheers.

On the show you fell for a girl who shares my name.

Listening to the song you wrote for her, I may never be the same.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Marco!

credit: Just Mike, Twitter

Laughing is good. There are a lot of funny people in the world. I saw someone pose the question on Twitter the other day, “Would you rather be smart or be funny?” A lot of people responded that most funny people tend to be quite smart. “Funny” itself is kind of a cute, funny word.

I pick up our youngest child, our daughter, from her university today. After a small bout of homesickness, she came out of her shell and took her first summer session at college by storm. My one son exclaimed that his sister had done more activities this summer at college, than he had done there in all four years. Funny.

Our daughter will be home for a couple of weeks, before she heads back to school for fall session. I am excited and aware. Once a child leaves home they never come back quite the same. And this is not a bad thing. It’s fun to see the facets of your children that are glistening new aspects of themselves, which only occur when they leave the nest and really explore things on their own, with a blossoming adult outlook. This is when your relationship with your children starts to evolve into a mutual, adult relationship, and this is when we parents and children start to explore each other’s personalities, experiences, perspectives on a more level ground. We get to know each other more as “people” versus rigid, hierarchical roles. I honestly enjoy this shift. It’s surprising, interesting, and a growing moment for both of you.

As has been the case with all four of our children, I think that our daughter is most excited to reunite with our dogs. They never disappoint. Dogs never hold back their exuberant feelings of love and excitement.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.