Tag: exhaustion

Bonus Day

Hi. Happy last day of February! Even with the special bonus day, February seemed to cruise along a lot faster than January did, right?? We are one sixth of the way through 2024. How is it going for you?

I’m exhausted, and yet exhilarated and rejuvenated, all at the same time. That’s typically my experience with travel. There are very few experiences that deplete you and energize you, all at the same time. Giving birth and perhaps running a marathon (although I wouldn’t know anything about long distance running. I won’t run to my mailbox) are the only other experiences that I can think of, off the top of my head, that could fall into this same category. I suppose winning an Olympic medal would be the extreme example of instantaneous exhilaration and exhaustion, but again, that is way out of my level of expertise.

When you add new experiences to your life, you add new layers to yourself. And some of your other layers get sort of reorganized with perspective changes, as new information gets assimilated into your being. Travel changes you. Travel expands you. I rode in a helicopter for the first time in my life this past week. My late uncle and my sister-in-law were military helicopter pilots and they always spoke so fondly of the specialness of flying in helicopters. I totally get it now. It was incredibly thrilling. It was an experience that I won’t soon forget.

Give yourself new experiences every day. You don’t have to travel far to try a new coffee flavor, drive a new way to work or to school, talk to someone whom you have never met, read a book that isn’t your usual genre choice . . . . The expansion of yourself from your experiences is really the point of “it all”, isn’t it? At the very least, expanding yourself is deliciously exhausting and invigorating, all at the same time.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1547. What gives you zest for life?

Farewell, Loves

The last of the mohicans left today. Our eldest son, his girlfriend and our daughter took to the road at 6 a.m. this morning, back to their own adult lives. My husband and I gave them huge hugs goodbye and then went straight back to bed. It’s a miracle that I am still not in bed right now. Our holiday season was really good. My daughter said last night that it was one of the best ones ever. And I agree. But I am pooped. Sometimes I marvel at the fact that we lived, for most of our married lives, in the constant, frenetic activity that comes with raising four kids, because when everyone’s home I find it to be wonderful, joyous and fun, but also exhausting. It’s amazing to me how quickly my husband and I have gotten used to the new normal of our quiet, orderly, empty nest, because for almost 28 years of our marriage, we had always lived with at least one extra kid. (By our tenth anniversary, we had all four kids) The brilliant writer Jane Austen once wrote that she hated tiny parties because they force you to be in “constant exertion”. I think that’s where the tiredness comes from all of the communing that many of us do over the holidays. You are in constant exertion of relating, sensing everyone else’s energy, catching up on each other’s lives, making meals, making plans, making and reliving memories . . . . I tried to really just savor it all. I made it my mission to savor my family’s laugher and expressions and relaying old memories and making new ones. (Our son’s girlfriend found a tree ornament last night on clearance that we bought because it perfectly depicted a crazy, inside, “you had to be there” spontaneous experience we all had around a fire pit one of the nights. These moments are priceless.) Overall, it was sort of a Venn Diagram Christmas experience this year. Some kids came early and left earlier and some kids came later and left later. They brought along friends and stories and new experiences throughout the course of it all. (Our youngest son even bought his first “adult” car in the middle of everything). This Christmas was its own entity, as all holidays end up being. We bring the framework of the aged decorations, standard traditions, and long standing recipes, but there is always room for the new activities and surprises that pop up at Christmas every year. There was a lot of exertion, but it was lovely. Life loved us this Christmas. “Love” was the theme this Christmas, for sure. And I feel that wonderful, satiated, “job well done” feeling that is also screaming at me to kick up my feet and to deeply rest in some quiet and solitude.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1479. What is priceless to you?

It Bears Repeating

Hi friends. I slept in. I am fatigued. This year has been full of big changes for our own family and for those whom we love, and I think that this is all catching up on me right now. So, in conservation of time and energy, I am going to reprint one of my more popular blog posts which tends to trend at this time of year (which is fitting!). Here it is:

Thank Yourself

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

H.A.L.T.

“People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it.” – Anthony de Mello

A previous employer of mine, found the quote above, to be profound. She would say it often, and I would pretend to understand. But I honestly didn’t understand. Or maybe I thought that I did, but I had an experience the other day that made me understand Anthony de Mello’s teaching a little bit better. Or at least, I think that I did.

Earlier this month on the blog, I recommended asking yourself a certain question when your are feeling poorly and out of sorts. The question is, “What story am I telling myself about what is happening?” I had to take my own advice and use that question on myself the other day after a horrible night’s sleep. I was cranky, moody and grumpy. I felt gloomy, and so the stories in my head started swirling. I was extremely creative, scrounging all over my brain for negative stories that would justify my Moody Trudy demeanor. That’s when I remembered to take my own advice. What stories am I telling myself that were perhaps causing/aggravating my despondency? Reflecting on the dramatic, over-the-top, sometimes even ridiculous “woe-is-me” stories flipping through my head, I perked up a little, laughing at myself. What was the real, main reason why I was moody? I didn’t get enough sleep. I was tired. My body, mind and spirit were depleted and they were sending me distress signals, reminding me to get some rest.

In twelve-step circles, they use the acronym, H.A.L.T. When people are finding themselves triggered and having the impulse to partake in their addiction, they are told to H.A.L.T. When you H.A.L.T., you ask yourself? What is really going on here? Am I H – hungry? Or am I A – angry? Perhaps, I am L- lonely? Or maybe I am just really T – tired? Being hungry, angry, lonely or tired, can all be remedied with healthier solutions than the things which we are addicted to, or that we use to distract ourselves from our feelings. By reflecting on the H.A.L.T. tool, we realize that our feelings are often just physical expressions of being hungry, angry, lonely or tired.

The next night I went to bed early, and I had a wonderful, restoring night’s sleep. I felt calm, serene and peaceful the next day. Interestingly, when I am feeling good, I rarely need to tell myself stories about it. I just bathe in the feeling of contentment. I bathe in the present moment. I suppose when I am feeling good, the stories in my head are quiet and boring. Perhaps these stories might even be called “yawners.” And that’s okay. As long as I recognize stories as different from The Truth, I can get as creative as I want to be, and still feel good and centered amidst the storms in me, and around me. I can remain the stalwart captain of my own life.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Short and Sweet

A while back, I wrote a blog about an article that I had read.  The article claimed that studies had found that exhausted people are “socially repulsive.”  Well, guys, I was at the Monday Night Football game with my family last night and so this morning, I am feeling rather “socially repulsive.”  I don’t want to end up writing something regretful or incoherent, so I’ll just pass along this cool piece of advice.  A man on Quora named Takudzwa Razemba said that this is the best advice that he had ever received from his grandfather:

“If you’re persistent, you’ll get it.   If you’re consistent, you’ll keep it.  And if you’re grateful, you’ll attract more of it.”

Have a great day!  I’ll be back in better form tomorrow.