Tag: empty nest

How to Say I Love You

Yesterday afternoon, I lounged on my porch and I read, in between lazily throwing balls into the pool for Trip and Ralphie to continuously retrieve. (Ralphie and Trip are our true-to-their nature sporting dogs, and all the while, Josie, our true-to-her-nature herding dog, was tirelessly nipping at their heels and earnestly making sure that they got out of the pool, again and again. This morning, we have three exhausted dogs, which makes for a nice, peaceful, uninterrupted morning for this writer gal. All by design . . . ) As I was reading and pondering, something in my reading and meditating and contemplating, sparked me to write this exact text to myself:

“What do you want from this day? From this experience? From your relationships? How do you want to feel? What kinds of outcomes are you looking for? Don’t be a reactor, be a visionary.”

We so often forget that we are the creators of our living experience. The job, the relationships, where we live, how we spend our time, what we eat and drink, what we think about, what we ruminate on, our hobbies, etc. are all of our own choices. If you don’t like some of your choices, you have the ability to change them. You are the one who brought them into your life in the form which they are in, so you have the ability to choose differently. Don’t pick “the victim stance”. It limits you so much.

All of the inspirational reading and listening I have done throughout my entire life – the books, the articles, the cutesy signs, the memes, the meditations, the quotes, really all circle around to the same overall ideas: Be intentional. Be grateful. Be HERE in the present now. Make conscious choices.

And here’s a big one that I want to finish out my year reminding myself and making it a forever practice (and this is a tough one, as a mother of four adult kids who are spread all over the east coast, and as one who has aging relatives and friends, and as one who when she loves, she loves hard and full and deep with her big ol’ entire heart) Worry does not equal love. I am not loving you in the best way that I can when I am worried about you. I put fear energy all around you when I worry about you. It makes you seem small, weak, and victim-like. I am loving you best when I believe in you – when I believe in your strength, and your vision, and your abilities, and when I have faith that Something/Someone so much bigger than all of us, is in your corner, keeping you safe, helping you to carry out your living purpose, which is for the better sake of all of us on this Earth, combined.

I have noticed that when I tell people whom I care about, “I don’t worry about you” and I say it with a tone that implies, ‘I know that you are going to be fine, more than fine. You’ve got the right attitude, heart, and guides to see you through’, this firm statement makes them sit up straighter and feel more empowered and confident than almost anything else I could say to them. “I don’t worry about you,” might be one of the most beautiful variations of “I love you” that we have in our spoken/written communication. Fear is the opposite of love. Worry equals fear, not love.

Readers, continue this beautiful year of your life, living fully and intentionally. Be grateful for all that you have created and will continue to create in your one and only unique life. Finish strong. I know that you will. I love you, readers. I don’t worry about you.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

My husband and I were at a Home Depot over the weekend, and of course, the Halloween decorations were already displayed in full force. The store had a big sign by the building sized skeletons that you could only purchase ONE PER CUSTOMER. How many giant skeletons could you possibly need? And where do you store them the other 11 months out of the year? I like buying things in bulk, but I don’t like buying really bulky things in bulk.

Going into a new season, is always a particularly reflective time for me. Recently, I read an interesting story about Louise Hay, the woman who started Hay House Publishing, known for their spiritual and inspirational books. She refused to repeat sad or depressing stories. If she heard negative news, she never repeated that news to anyone. I thought that would be interesting to try myself, and so I have been more conscious about what I share. It is amazing how my impulse to share salacious, temper-inducing, “juicy”, fearsome, agonizing stories is bigger than I care to admit. I’ve failed this attempt to trim the negativity that I spread, many times already. Certainly, if there is something that can be done for the people involved in a tragedy, or a warning of something dangerous impending is helpful to others, than sharing the information is kind, and sometimes even vital. But to pass on negative news, just for the sake of spreading doom, kind of just turns you into a Debbie Downer. Debbie Downer is a bigger part of my personality than my Pollyanna half likes to admit. But my DD can be put into her place – into her own dark little corner to stew all by herself.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.” -Steven Wright

Welcome to poetry day on the blog. How is the culmination of another summer in the rearview mirror feeling to you? Write a poem about it. Poetry can be your own private language with yourself. Your soul has the decipher code.

Here is the poem I wrote for today:

“Knee Deep in Mud”

Summer sometimes feels like walking through sludge

I want to fly but the air’s too heavy

And so I make imperceptible moves

Hoping that I am headed somewhere

Other than where I am stuck in the mud.

But then I get a gust of momentum

And I look back and I realized I have come further

Than I realized. There must have been mud in my eye.

Or a cloud over my spirit. Because there’s a trail of footprints,

I have left behind me. And the visions that lie ahead,

Are getting larger and clearer and more distinct every day.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

National Songs

“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane” – Jimmy Buffett

RIP – Jimmy

What a legend! What a way to show the world that a man can live a fabulous life completely and fully on his own terms. It is rare to have someone famous and recognizable and universally likable enough, that when they pass, almost everyone in the country takes a pause and notes the sad loss. Usually when one of the icons of my husband’s and my growing up years, dies, my kids say, “Who?!” This morning two of my sons have already texted about the loss (9:30 on a Saturday morning during a holiday weekend, and our sons are in their twenties – that says something).

When we have been socializing with and around, or having dinner with people from other countries, inevitably, at some point of the night, the people from one particular country all start loudly singing songs, all together, happily, arm-in-arm. They all know the words and they love to sing them. It’s a huge part of European and South American culture that I have experienced first hand. And it has always made me extremely envious. When I heard the news this morning about Jimmy Buffett’s passing, I thought to myself, if we did have a universal, national, party song the closest thing to it would have to be Margaritaville. Who doesn’t sing along to this song?

“Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been” – Jimmy Buffett

“Life is just a tire swing” – Jimmy Buffett

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Somebunny’s Friday

Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit. Happy Friday!! Happy Labor Day Weekend!! Welcome to the best day of the week!! Fridays on the blog are devoted to my Favorite Things! I’m not too much in my head on Fridays. On Fridays, I’m a lighthearted, material girl. As I was walking past this little antique desk we have in a little alcove in our home this morning, I remembered to change the beautiful, cardstock, glittery desk calendar to “September”, on its easel. I’m an old fashioned gal. I like clocks and calendars everywhere. (I like my reminders of time in the tactile form – the prettier the better.) Anyway, the calendar had a reminder page for me to order my 2024 set. And so I just did. I just love these calendars. It’s always a lovely surprise to view what artwork was created to highlight each month, all painted with a light touch of glitter. The last two years I have purchased my refills from Stevie Streck. In years past, I have bought them from the equally lovely Karen Adams. (Both can be purchased on Amazon) I also noticed that you can get a personalized pet version from Stacy Claire Boyd. Be true to the little things that make you happy, friends!! Add a touch of beauty to your desk and get a monthly surprise of delight, when you change to each new month. Blessings to all of us this September!!! See you tomorrow.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Same Old/Same Old

It’s a surreal experience when you go through something that takes all (or at least most) of your attention and focus and energy and emotion, like preparing for the hurricane did for us, the early part of this week, and then, when the event is over, you just get back into your normal, everyday routine like nothing happened. In fact you feel an urgency to do so. It feels much better and more secure and in-control, to quickly clean up any messes (which serve as reminders of what you’ve been through), and to swiftly move on. We’ve all gone through this type of phenomenon in our lives, whether it be from a health crisis, or an accident, or a job loss, or something major breaking in our households, etc. Everyone else’s lives are carrying on as usual, and yours turns into this little microcosm of focus and anxiety, while “normal” life is happening all around you. It reminds me of something I watched on TV recently. My husband loves to watch road bike races, the most well-known being the Tour de France, and I watched some of it with him. During the race, which includes hundreds of bikers, riding closely together on narrow trails, at top speeds, inevitably someone will crash, or a tire will blow, etc. and the biker will stop (sometimes dramatically – like sometimes actually falling off of a cliff), and then the biker is quickly attended to by physicians and bike mechanics, and if the biker is able to, they pop right back on to a bike (even sometimes the ones who fell off cliffs!), and they do everything that they can to get back into the race, trying to forget that the annoying interruption ever even happened. It’s in our human nature not to dwell, and for the most part, I think this is good, as long as you give yourself a little acknowledgement and compassion for going through something tough and scary and sometimes traumatic. And after a little dose of self-compassion, you go to your proud “Atta Girl/Atta Boy” inner coach and you are reminded that you’ve just got another notch of confidence and experience on your tough, thick belt of resiliency, that is yours to rely on, as you wear it proudly, into the future events of your life.

Yesterday, I read the old adage “The more things change, the more things stay the same.” This is one of those wise, old sayings that I have heard, and read, and maybe even said a million times without really knowing what it means. I had to take some time to ponder this one. I even looked it up on Google. Apparently the saying speaks to our need for consistency and reliability, even if it is to our detriment. We resist change, so when things start to change, we do everything that we can to stop the change, in order to get back into and stay in our “normal state.” For any real change to occur, we must first have the most important of changes – a change of heart. Changes of heart are the hardest of all changes, because they require attention, introspection, humility, empathy, realism, and this all has to happen before any action can be taken.

“The more things change, the more things stay the same.” This adage is a good reminder and warning to us. The next time that you go through a “hurricane/bike crash” moment in your own life, take a pause before you just mindlessly clean everything up and jump right back on to the ride. See if any changes have occurred in your heart that need attending to, or if any poignant lessons from the experience, need to be integrated, because if you don’t check in with your heart, you will just be riding back on the path, with the large crowd to “Same Old/Same Old.” Make sure, with your heart as your compass, that “Same Old/Same Old” is really the destination that you want to keep heading towards.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Great Equalizer

We are all okay here. We thankfully never even lost power, although there are quite a few flooded streets by the beaches in our area, and the tides are rising. Our hearts and prayers are with the people and towns who suffered a direct hit from Idalia. We can never, ever underestimate the power of Mother Nature. When our major elements – earth, air, fire, and water are tame, they offer us peace, nourishment, shelter, warmth, refreshment, and tranquility. When our elements are stirred up, we witness the unleashment of their true ferocity and power. And we are quickly humbled. No mother can “put you in your place and make you remember where you came from” better than Mother Nature.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Flowery Place

“The calm before a storm” is a real thing. It is still and sunny and beautiful here. Most of my friends, are just hunkering down, waiting to see what will happen overnight. I’ve made some pasta this morning, in case we lose power. I’ve also made some extra coffee (cold coffee is better than no coffee). The schools are closed today and tomorrow. Today, the schools are mostly closed for preparation and evacuation (if need be), because honestly, if you looked outside, you would never dream that a big storm is coming. I think that everyone I know around here has at least some low-level anxiety, but these hurricanes are just the price which we pay to live in paradise. We are all preparing for the worst, but hoping for the best. As it stands, the hurricane is supposed to make landfall a pretty good bit north of us, in the big bend of Florida, which is a low population area. If a hurricane has to happen, this is probably a best case scenario. Please keep our state in your thoughts and prayers. For all of its detractors and “Florida Man” memes, I believe that many, many people can say that they have experienced at least one beautiful memory in Florida (and probably many more than one). It is a major destination spot for people here and from all over the world, because of its utter beauty, diversification, “open-minded/anything goes/something for everyone” relaxed attitude, and its magnificent collection of nature. Florida is a magical place.

“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a trip to Florida.”

“Florida is a golden word. The very name Florida carried the message of warmth and ease and comfort. It was irresistible.”- John Steinbeck

“Florida is a very healing place.”- Burt Reynolds

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Summer often likes to leave with a bang in our state. I am not too concerned. We live pretty far inland, and we’ve lived through many big Florida storms and many big Florida storm scares. If you don’t get a daily blog post from me later in the week, just figure that our power is out. Still, I’ll take any extra prayers and good juju for the people in the path of Idalia.

Have a great week, friends! Here are some bonus thoughts that I wrote in one of my inspirational notebooks this past weekend, from my readings. I’m sorry, I don’t know who to credit some of them to:

+ When a human reaches the end of his or her rope, he or she reaches the beginning of God.

+ Choose change before change chooses you.

+ We all have gifts that we don’t recognize, not because they are hidden but because they are so much a part of us that we can’t see them. Other people are the mirrors that allow us to see. – Holiday Mathis (***I really like this last one. We are often told that other people mirror the traits about ourselves that we don’t like and which we tend to disown in ourselves, so it’s a nice turn to think about people being mirrors to our positive traits, too. It’s also true that the traits that come naturally to us, we tend to discount. But these unique attributes of ours are gifts to us, and to others. My husband has the uncanny ability to find lost things. He’s found glasses buried in sand in the shore of the ocean. He’s found tiny earring studs at the bottom of a pool. If I lose something, I often wait for him to come home, because I know that he’ll find it. This gift of his, was the first thing that came to my mind, when I read this quote. What are some uncanny traits that you have that are so naturally a part of you, you can’t see them? I bet that your loved ones could tell you.)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Welcome to poetry day on the blog. On Wednesday, we have a Blue Moon. It’s not actually blue, it’s just the name for the rare occurence of two full moons in one month. The second full moon in any one month is called a blue moon. Make a wish, and put it into poem form today. Once in a blue moon, wishes do come true, in the most magical of ways. Here is my poem for today:

The Sunday stillness feeds my soul,

The quiet sunlit room hears only an occasional

sigh from a tired, warm, rug of a dog, bathing in the light.

The plants outside of the window slightly sway,

to the gentle rhythm of an imperceptible breeze,

it all creates the peaceful symphony of tranquility,

that I soak in: pure, satiating nourishment for my spirit.

I hear my soul chanting: All is well. All is well. All is well.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.