I watched a snippet of an interview Oprah Winfrey was having with Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone has written a recently released memoir. In the snippet, Sharon Stone was saying that after having a stroke, and being told that she was pretty much “over” in Hollywood, she realized that she had lost her “beauty.” Oprah asked her to clarify this, “What do you mean you lost your “beauty”? Sharon Stone told Oprah that it was not so much that she had lost her physical beauty, as she had lost her “radiance”, her “magnetism”, her “presence” and her “vibrancy.” Both women concluded that it is these attributes which really make a person attractive. And they both agreed that radiance, magnetism, presence and vibrancy all come from health, well-being and confidence from within.
Yesterday, I had a good day. I saw a glimmer of confidence and hope and excitement, everywhere I went. People are really starting to believe that there is an end in sight to all of the limits that have come with the pandemic. I could feel it. Nothing in my physical world was different. Everyone was still wearing masks, but the energy had subtle changes. There was a lightness, an optimism in the air. Maybe I was feeling this way, and so this is how my outside world appeared to me. I’m not sure, but for whatever reason, yesterday, the world seemed more beautiful to me, than it had seemed in a long, long while. And when I say beautiful, what I really mean is radiant and magnetic and vibrant. Life is coming back to life. I feel it inside of me, and I feel it outside of me. We are well on the way to healing from this past unfathomable year, my friends. And this healing is radiating, and vibrating, and bringing all of our lives out into full, mesmerizing color, once again.
Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning, friends! Friday is here!! Whoop! Whoop! On Fridays, we don’t discuss anything deep or serious here at Adulting – Second Half. On Fridays, we keep the spirit light and airy and on the surface. On Fridays, I typically list three favorite things, or songs, or books, or TV shows, or movies, etc. and I ask you to add your favorites to my Comments section. Here are my favorites for today:
Favorite Idea: One of my aunts buys a couple of colorful bags of Easter grass and puts clumps of it, in her yard. The birds then take it and make their nests out of it and she ends up with pretty pastel birds’ nests, all around her yard. Just call her Auntie Snow White! Along these lines, I hang little lawn ornaments and such at the bottom of my magnolia tree, and one of the ornaments is an angel made out of sheep’s wool. I noticed lately that the angel’s flaming red hair is all wild and yet, thinning, at the same time. I tame it down and the next day, it’s a mess again. I was blaming the rain and wind for her bad hair days, until I noticed a little bird plucking away at the angel’s hair, probably to make a soft nest. My angel will be bald soon, but I don’t mind and I don’t think that she does either. It’s for a good cause.
Favorite Pickles: Grillo’s Pickles. We get a big tub of them at Costco, every time we go. These are the most fresh, crisp, delicious pickles that you will ever eat! And the great thing about pickles is, that you expend more calories chewing on them, than they cost you, in your daily calorie count. The tub looks huge, but you will go through it quickly, believe me.
Favorite New Magic from M & M’s: M & M’s messages. I love all things M & M’s and I love that they always, always are offering up new ways to be M & Ms. They don’t sit on their laurels, even as good as those laurels are, in the delicious world of candy. Look at these:
Some of them even have Spotify play lists that you can scan, like this one:
Okay friends, you have some stuff to add to your shopping list: Easter grass, Grillo’s pickles and M & M messages! Enjoy your weekend!
Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
On my to-do list for today, is to get a birthday card in the mail for my cousin’s little girl who is soon to turn two. Imagine being two these days. Everything is so completely different than when I was two, or even when my children were two years old. Technology is moving at such a rapid rate. It’s only in the last twenty years that inventions like smartphones, Google, Facebook, electric cars and Bluetooth have become part of mainstream society. Who knows what’s next? I have never had a scientific type of mind, but I am eager to see what is coming up for all of us, around the corner, most likely in rapid succession.
It’s when I consider all of these rapid changes in the world, that I get really annoyed at myself, and at others, when we start saying disparaging things about younger generations. Who are we to judge? Who are we to say what we would have been like, if the internet, Facebook, Instagram and digital cameras were part of our growing up experience? When you start comparing generations, you are never doing an apples to apples comparison. A truly scientific experiment would require that all of the outside variables be exactly the same, and that’s not possible with human beings, not even for identical twins in the same family.
Why do we humans have such a need to make comparisons? If we are honest with ourselves, it is either to make up for insecurities in ourselves (feeling better than), or to validate our own poor opinions of ourselves (feeling less than). Neither comparison does anything productive for us, or for anybody else. Comparison is only helpful when it is inspiring and inclusive. That kind of positive comparison is just an act of witnessing and discerning whether you say, “Gee, I want some of that. How do I get something like that for myself?” or “Wow, that’s interesting. It’s not for me, but variety is the spice of life.”
There is such an emphasis today on “likes” and “claps” and “followers”, but in our frenzy for approval, do we ever really stop and ask ourselves why? Is something only good for us, and interesting to us, and exciting for us, if other people say that it is? How much time are we spending talking to others about our lives, posting “stuff” about our lives, always justifying our opinions about things, versus actually just living our lives? If we are making a living from our “likes”, “claps” and “followers” then it follows that the court of public opinion, should sway our choices, I suppose. But then that just turns our own life into a commodity, being shaped by forces that aren’t really authentic to our truest selves. When we are so focused on the “likes”, “claps” and “followers” of any life decision that we make, we are no longer living our true life, but more of an empty image, that changes with the wind. And also, when the people who are making their own lives/selves, their “product”, and are then, exposed to be something different than what they are portraying, everyone feels disappointed and deceived. We see this happen time and time again.
When someone I love asks me to help them with a dilemma they are experiencing, I offer my opinion (sometimes too quickly and boisterously and annoyingly – I own this about myself. Thank you for still loving me, my peeps) but I also like to remind the person that if they put their question “out there”, they are likely to get half the world agreeing with their actions, and half the world disagreeing with their actions. Even if a majority vote leans one way or another, what does that really matter? The only thing that really matters when making a decision about your life, is what deeply resonates with yourself, at your very core. If you put the focus back on what resonates with yourself, versus what generates a bunch of “approval”, you will experience your deepest, most sacred connection to your own self and your own life. Authenticity never requires approval. It just is.
Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
This couldn’t be more apropos to where I live right now. My neighbors drove by the other day and I thought they got a new car. I was wrong; the pollen made their black car look grey.
When I first moved to Florida and I ended up at the doctor’s office every two months for sinus infections, my doctor told me that I live in one of the two worst states for allergies. Hawaii and Florida are the worst states for allergies because something is blooming, all of the time, all year long. She also mentioned that by driving a convertible, it was like I was driving in a giant vacuum cleaner, sucking up all the pollen as I drive along. (I decided that the inconvenience of sneezing and wheezing was worth the freedom of toplessness.)
There are few things more embarrassing than having an allergy attack during this pandemic. I feel like wearing a sign saying, “Chill. It’s allergies!” I watched this poor woman struggling in the grocery store the other day. She was sneezing and sneezing and sneezing, right into her mask. Blech! Poor thing.
Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Happy Birthday to my brilliant, beautiful, confident, talented, loving, level-headed, dream of a daughter come true!!! I love you with all of my heart. You are incredible.
***** On a more somber note, my heart is with all of those who have been traumatized by the horrible mass shootings that have happened in rapid succession these last few weeks. While so many of us are craving getting back to “normal”, I don’t think any of us are wanting mass shootings and violence to come back on to the regular scenery of our lives. My fervent prayer is for guidance on how to stop these senseless tragedies. But sometimes I think that we may already know the answer to that prayer. On an individual level, it is our own responsibility to create peace and happiness for ourselves. When we each have a core of peace and happiness, that is the energy that emanates from us, that is the energy that is given from us, and that is the energy which heals and uplifts the world, when it is felt in totality, and generated by the masses. That is what my 2021 tagline is meant to communicate:
Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
We are all sharing this beautiful world. Therefore we must each take individual responsibility for our own unique part, in this co-creation of our collected lives. It’s easy to say, “Well, I didn’t shoot anybody.” And most of us don’t stoop to that horrifying level of pain and aggression, but how many times are we sarcastic with our spouses? How many times are we dismissive of our children or short-tempered with people we work with? How many times are we passive aggressive with our friends, or perhaps, on social media posts? How many times do we treat the person who is waiting on us at the store as a machine, as we chat on our phones through the whole transaction? How many times do we mindlessly fill our own bodies with empty, unhealthy calories, instead of tall glasses of water? We have so many choices in our individual days, to take a pause, and to decide whether our next action is one coming from love, or one coming from pain. We are quick to judge other people’s actions. But if we stayed in our own lanes for one day, and really consciously and detachedly looked at each action that we decide to take throughout the day, we might be a bit aghast at how much pain we have a tendency to leak out into the world. And all of that pain adds up. All of those little drips of unhealed pain that we are unwittingly putting “out there” can lead to the crescendos of chilling pain that we witness in society today. At the same token, love works the same way. When we read stories about heroic acts, and kindnesses shown to strangers, we get inspired. We want to be part of that loving experience. We are quick to volunteer our time and our resources to a worthy cause because we are inspired by others’ loving actions. How many times a day do we say encouraging, thoughtful things to our families and friends? How many times a day do we take moments to rest our bodies, or to stretch our bodies, or to drink that tall glass of water? How many times do we make eye contact and offer a compliment to the kind person waiting on us at the store, or to the homeless person sitting outside of the store? Those loving actions all add up, too, and the energy of that Love flows out into the energy of Life, which we are all co-creating. And Love is infinitely more powerful than any hate. Pain waits for us to be unconscious and lazy in our thoughts and then in our actions, so that it can creep out a little bit more and a little bit more, sometimes leading to destructive acts like what happened in Colorado last night. And then pain and hate laughs, devilishly, at our shock and our dismay about the utter awfulness. But the thing about these eruptions of pain and destruction, is that they tend to be smothered by Love. The people of Boulder will hold each other, and they will help each other, and they will heal each other, and prayers will abound. We prove it to ourselves again and again and again. Love always conquers fear and pain. Love reigns supreme. Love becomes even more powerful when it is shared and multiplied. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to reach a point in history, where we no longer have to prove that Love destroys pain? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we didn’t even have statements that say that Love dominates? “Love dominates” – That sounds like a silly oxymoron. Love Is. Love Is. Love Is.
I mentioned the song “Shameika” by Fiona Apple, recently in my blog. In the music video, the first couple of minutes the real Shameika, firmly, calmly, peacefully says, “Take a moment.” This really stuck with me. Lately, before I say something to someone, or before I send a text, or before I put something in my mouth, or before I put something in my shopping cart, I breathe and I hear Shameika’s voice saying, “Take a moment.” And then, in that lucid moment which I am taking, I try to reflect, in a detached way, whether my next action is one of pain, or is one of Love. It is my responsibility to heal my own pain, so that I can be a clear vessel for Love. I can’t heal anyone else’s pain, but I can work towards making sure that my own pain, isn’t adding to another person’s pile of pain. If I determine that I was about to act out of my pain, that means that I have to take a look at my thoughts to see where that pain is coming from. It is a reminder for me to try to work through that pain with acts of Love, towards myself and towards others. This takes a lot of consciousness and honest effort. It’s so much easier to focus on other people’s “stuff”, and what I think that they should do and should be, but that it is pointless and fruitless. We’ve each been given one life, one vessel for Love. That’s a huge responsibility, in itself. But if we each did our part, the light flowing through all of us would expose all the darkness as nothing, just nothing. Light shines the dark away. Love Is. Love Is. Love Is.
Hear Shameika’s “Take a moment” in the first minute of this video. It will stick with you. It’s the most important message I have gotten all year.
Who says that men age better than we do? Cher is about as ageless as they come. I remember watching the “Sonny & Cher” variety show with rapt attention, when I was a kid. Just typing that sentence, made me feel really, really old. But hey, Cher makes “old” look pretty damn good!
Make up your mind to believe in yourself for the rest of this year, friends! Over this past weekend, we experienced the first day of spring. Astrologers believe that this is the true start of the year. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. I love all of the redos and retakes we get at the beginning of the year. If you were a little foggy on January 1st, that’s okay because you could reset your intentions for the new year on February 12th, which marked the Chinese new year. And if you were particularly unfocused through the first couple months of the year, that’s not a problem because March 20th marked the first day of spring and the start of the astrological new year. Three times is the charm! Trying to pretend anything after this date, is the beginning of the new year, could be perceived as a stretch, but at the same token, it is never too late to start anything. It makes sense for spring to start the new year, I think. There’s so much hope, promise, and freshness in springtime. Miracles abound in spring. Happy New Year, friends! This is what I think this beautiful spirit of Spring of 2021 is confidently saying to us: “I got you, babe!! . . . . . I. Got. YOU. Babe!”
Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Good morning, soul mates. I hope that this post finds you well. I hope that you feel comfortable, peaceful, grateful and filled with contentment. I hope that you are luxuriating in just “being.” I find that during the time spent in my weekends, I do spurts of “busy-ness” and then I relax into spurts of just leisurely “being-ness.” It’s easier to give myself to “being-ness” on the weekends, without guilt, or worries of messing up The “All important” Schedule.
My regular readers know that Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting– Second Half. On Sundays, I either write a poem or I share a poem written by another poet who has moved my soul. Today, I am sharing two short poems, written by other poets. These poems move my soul. I hope that you get moved, too. As always, I encourage you to share your poems in my Comments section. At the very least, write a poem. Scratch one down in a notebook. Poetry is your soul speaking to you, sometimes in mysterious ways. Listen to your soul. It has beautiful things to say to you. Here are today’s poems:
Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
This weekend is all about underdogs, I can tell. I can feel it by what I have experienced already. I’ve always heard that Americans love “the underdog.” Doesn’t everyone?!? Last night we enjoyed watching some March Madness basketball. Experiencing Number 15 seed Oral Roberts beat Ohio State (who was the Number 2 seed) in overtime, was a thrill, to be sure. What a victory! That’s what’s so great about the March Madness tournaments. I’m not even a huge sports fan, but I get roped in easily, because this is one series of games where underdog victories are common enough to give high hope to any team, or to any person, or to any business, or even to any gambler who feels like an underdog, themselves. Victory is always, always possible. “If there is a Goliath in front of you, that means there’s a David inside of you.” – Carlos Rodriguez
When someone underestimates you, it’s so delicious. I love the look on people’s faces when I have surprised them with a level of depth, or a secret strength that they just didn’t expect from me. I also love to be deliciously astonished when I see something special in someone, which I didn’t perceive immediately. This phenomenon is what makes getting to know a person, interesting, even after many years. This year I have noticed a new level of swag, determination and grit in my sweet daughter’s demeanor on the tennis court. People who played her last year, are getting a whole new competitor this year, and they don’t expect it. It’s so fun to watch.
On Thursday evening, there was a storm stirring. My daughter ran in from letting the dogs out, to let me know that there was a lonesome little duckling swimming in the middle of the lake, which sits right beyond our back yard. There were no other ducks in sight. The duckling was cheeping loudly and swimming fiercely. Any time that we got near to it, the duckling would get frightened and swim away from the shores into the middle of the lake which unfortunately is alligator haven. My daughter and I felt so helpless.
I ran inside and I contacted a wildlife rescue organization. I was told to text a certain number with my situation. The person at the other side of the text, asked me to text back some pictures of the duckling. This is the best picture that I could get, as the little guy still had its black feathers and was swimming wildly away:
The uninspiring text which I got back in response to my picture was literally this:
“Yeah I really need to see markings, because unfortunately if it’s a muscovy it’s invasive”
I didn’t like the undertone of the text (at all), particularly since I have seen a fair amount of Muscovy ducks around my neighborhood. (they have a lot of red waddle around their faces) And let’s be clear, a Muscovy duckling is not a Burmese python. This moment reminded me of a thriller movie, where the heroine is breathlessly trying to discuss her fearsome plight to a police officer, or to a lawyer, or to a corporate human resource person, and then the heroine suddenly realizes, with a sinking look on her face, that the person that she is speaking to, really isn’t on her side. In fact, the heroine gets that nauseous, adrenaline filled feeling that she has to instantly shut up, and break away and run, as hard as she possibly can, right at that very moment. (I know that I can be a bit dramatic, at times, but a little bit of drama never hurt anyone.) In that spirit, this is the text which I immediately sent back:
“Oh, it’s fine. I think it made its way back to the reeds :)”
Now honestly, at that very moment, the little duckling was swimming valiantly. It was still in the middle of the lake, but it was making its way across the lake, towards a big stretch of reeds where we have seen groups of duck families rest, many times. The duckling was swimming at speeds that would have given an Olympic swimmer a run (or a swim) for the money. The weather then turned fierce, and we had to go inside. I would love to make up a Hollywood-type ending, but I am committed to the truth here. We haven’t seen the little duckling again. Still, I like to believe that he made it safely to the reeds and to the outspanned wings of some other ducks. I believe this is the best outcome for him, and a highly possible one. I love to root for the underdog! Or in this case, the underduck.
If you are like me, and not quite as literate a person as you would like to pretend to be, you will find it helpful that I had to look up the meaning of Virginia Woolf’s quote. “What a lark! What a plunge!” are the opening words to Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway. I think that Tarn Wilson describes it best:
“Dictionary.com defines lark as “a merry, carefree adventure; frolic; escapade.” A plunge is “a leap or a dive,” “a headlong or impetuous rush or dash.” Today, take your life less seriously. See your undertakings as playful adventures. Approach them with curiosity, a willingness to learn, and an appreciation of fun.”
Friends, it’s Friday!! Time to plunge into a lark!!! My regular readers know that I try to take a break from overthinking on Fridays. On “Favorite Things Friday“, I typically discuss three favorite things, books, songs, movies, food stuff, etc. of mine and I strongly encourage you to share your favorites in my Comments section. Please see previous Friday posts for more favorites to try and to enjoy.
Today, I am going out on a lark, and instead of listing more of my own favorites, I am going to force you to think about your own favorites. The hobbylark article linked below, asks 100 questions, about your favorite stuff, experiences, people, books, etc. I’ve copied the first two sections from the article to get your juices flowing, but you must click on the full article, in order to get the full list of questions. What better way to add to that wonderful Friday feeling, than pondering your own very special favorites, that make your heart go zing?!? These questions make wonderful conversation starters to get to know anyone better, including yourself. Enjoy and have a wonderful weekend!!
Today, I am going to list the quotes which I have collected for my own thought museum, these past couple of weeks. These quotes all speak for themselves, and do not require commentary from me. Food for thought is delicious, nutritious and calorie-free. Devour!
“Most of us spend our lives as if we had another one in the bank.” – Ben Irwin
“Admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.”
“If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything, it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind, there are few.” – Suzuki Roshi
“Hope springs from realizing we are loved, can love and are love with skin on. Then we are unstoppable.” – Anne Lamott
“Focus on being productive, not busy.”
“True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.” – Oprah Winfrey
“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.” – Think Smarter (Twitter)
“If you can’t find joy in a cup of coffee, you won’t find it in a Lamborghini.” – SeekMastery
“No one should have the power to ruin your day.” -Valencia (Twitter)
Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
