Tag: empty nest

Book Nerd

In the beginning of the year, I download books to my Kindle like they are candy. On top of the books that have been so kindly gifted to me, I gift myself about 100 more. (okay, that is an exaggeration, but I do get particularly book hungry at the beginning of the year, and my appetite is voracious) During most of the year, I methodically read books, one at a time, but during the beginning of the year, I dive into my books like its a smorgasbord of ideas and words and interesting stories. My pile of books becomes like a plate which you have filled up at a “serve yourself, all you can eat” banquet or buffet, with all of the books piled up, and running and oozing into each other, and thus, I can’t remember what flavor or tidbit belongs to which brilliant piece of literature. I get overwhelmed and delighted with everything that sits before me, and I want to devour it all, and fast. I am not sure why I do this. I find myself reading too fast and not always savoring the different styles of writing and genres. Perhaps there is more downtime around the holidays that I want to use up, or maybe I am always looking for some inspiration to help me with my “theme of the year.” Or maybe it is just that I love to read, and fresh starts remind me to do what I really love to do, in my life.

I saw on Twitter that Stephen King recently celebrated his 50th wedding anniversary. That interesting and inspiring tidbit, spurred me to look up more information about Stephen King, and to order his book, On Writing A Memoir of the Craft. Honestly, I have never read any of Stephen King’s fiction books because I am a huge scared-y cat. I’ve seen maybe three Stephen King movies, and those viewings were decades ago, and they still terrorize me. I wrote off “all things scary”, quite a bit a time ago. My flight/fight response is very dramatic and intense, and it is not healthy for me to go through it, or for anyone else to have to witness it. Still, in just reading the first few chapters of this book, I realize how much I have missed out on. Stephen King is a master. His writing is so engaging, it is almost an out of body experience.

I read everywhere. I read advertisements. I read people’s faces and energy and emotions. I read quirky signs in stores. I find a lot of good short reads on Twitter. Something that I read on Twitter recently, is a question, which is really a tool that I plan to use all of the year of 2021, until I forget about it. The Twitter blurb said: Am I passing on love, or am I passing on pain? And I thought to myself, on the flip side of this, when I am experiencing dialog or reactions or actions, from other people, is what they are doing: passing on love or passing on pain? When I am kind, generous, paying attention and listening, thoughtful, using direct communication and exuding optimism, these actions are coming from a place of love. When I am sarcastic, cynical, mean, passive aggressive, violent, judge-y, tossing out guilt trips, or being manipulative or controlling, these actions are coming from a place of pain, and it is my job to filter through those feelings of pain, to heal myself, so that I don’t act from a place of pain, for most of my time. Me, and my relationships, will be healthier for that honest introspection. At the same time, if I use that same kind of consciousness and mindfulness, when noticing other people’s actions and reactions, I can keep a level of detachment, and thus not personalize these interactions so much. When a person is being cruel or hurtful, that is coming from a deep rooted pain within themselves. It is not my job to fix that other person’s pain. It’s not even possible to do so. Only that person can heal their own pain, but it helps me to see the angry person, who I am dealing with, in a more empathetic light. It also helps me to see with whom I need to have better boundaries with, in my life. Finally, that question is a really good question to ask ourselves, about how we treat our own selves. Am I passing on love (to myself) or am I passing on pain (to myself)? How do I speak to myself? How do I nurture my body? Do I protect myself from toxic people and experiences? Do I treat myself to the things that speak to my deepest, most intuitive sense of self? How I interact with myself is often deeply entwined with how I interact with others. This simple question brings a level of mindfulness and consideration to all interactions, which can really help to lift up the amount of peace in anyone’s daily life.

I think that is why I love to read so much. There is great, great power in words. An eleven word question that I casually read on Twitter, may be a life changer this year for me, if I consciously remind myself of the question, and I utilize it. Someone once told me that you are the culmination of the people you meet, the experiences you have, and the books that you read. I believe that this could be true. Perhaps my book reading frenzy in the beginning of my new year, is just part of those resolutions or intentions that we all make to ourselves in the beginning of the year, in the hopes of becoming a better version of own selves. If the books that I read, are a part of who I become, I want to find and to explore and to discover as many different facets of myself, and my living experience as I can, before I no longer have the ability to do so. Books help to navigate me, to myself, and that is why books are meant to savor.

Monday Fun-Day

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Good morning! I’m feeling a bit “slow on the go” and perhaps a tad irreverent, this morning. In the beginning of the pandemic, I shared links to websites which I had found, that were counting the numbers of coronavirus cases, in different parts of the United States. Today, I am happy to share a link to a website, which shows the number of vaccines administered, in each state. It is updated daily, and it shows the percentage of people in your state who are currently vaccinated against the coronavirus. This is a number that I am happy to see go up! Here is the website:

https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/covid-vaccine-tracker-global-distribution/

Happy First Monday of the year! May it be the best Monday of your life!

Headed Home

My husband said in our family text chat, that he thinks that 2021 is going to be like 2020, in reverse. We asked him for clarification and he said that spring was the big turning point in 2020, of having to accept the coronavirus, and all of the changes it was making in our lives. My husband thinks that spring of 2021, will be the big springboard of taking us much closer to “normal” again.

Before my husband gave his own explanation, I immediately envisioned the long hikes we have taken as a family, over the years, in many of the National Parks. Living through last year, was much like climbing the uphill part of the hike. The uphill part of any long, challenging hike is exhausting, frustrating, full of trepidation and yet also, anticipation. Sometimes you feel like you aren’t going to make it. You keep wondering, “Is this hike ever, ever going to end?” You start to concentrate on just the next step and then, the next step. Then, when you finally reach the summit, or the pinnacle, or the destination of your hike, the views are clear. The relief is palpable. One time, after my husband and I climbed to the top of Camelback Mountain in Arizona, I literally started sobbing at the top of the mountain. I felt so much relief, release, pride, exhilaration, and exhaustion, all at once, and the emotions hit me like a hurricane. So, in staying with my hiking analogy, we’ve come to the destination of hope, with this virus. We have a panoramic view of hope. We have created effective vaccines, but we still have the hike down the mountain, of getting everyone vaccinated, and assimilated back into some close form of our previous normalcy. The downward part of the hike is usually so much easier. It usually goes so much faster. There are still tricky, slick areas and you must be careful, but it always feels surmountable. And the destination at the end of the hike, is a known entity. It’s your family car that reliably takes you back to your loving, warm, safe, comfortable place that you call home. Friends, we are headed home. Doesn’t that feel good?

Happy New Year Friday!

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Happy New Year!!!! 2021 is finally here!!! I do think that it is an excellent sign that 2021 is starting on a my favorite day of the week, Friday. Friends, I stayed up way, way past my bedtime last night. I am wanting to enter the new year, quietly and introspectively, while cooking up the luckiest meal of the year. We always have pork, sauerkraut, kielbasa, mashed potatoes, black-eyed peas and collard greens, every year on New Year’s Day. What is your traditional new year meal?

That first paragraph was my roundabout way of saying that I won’t be doing my usual Favorite Things Friday post today. Please forgive me. I wish for all of us, only the best that life has to offer in this hopeful new year! Savor this fresh new start! See you tomorrow!

Smiley

Yesterday, my daughter and I picked up some takeout for dinner, and the young man who came to the car with our food, was a walking smile. He was what jubilation looks like in human form. Though wearing a mask, his eyes glittered when he talked, and the wide smile that must been on his face, was easy to picture behind the mask. When he walked to the car, it was more of a float/bounce.

“Let me ask you something,” I said. “Are you always this happy and joyful?”

“Oh, yes ma’am,” he said, without any hesitation, but perhaps with a tinge of “aw shucks” sheepishness. “My manager calls me ‘Smiley’.”

“Don’t ever let anything change that about you. It’s delightful. Your energy is wonderful,” I told him. (I love that I’ve reached the age that I can say things like that with some guise of wisdom and authority and knowingness. I like to think that I come off like a sage – ha!)

The blissful boy just smiled some more, and bounced on to the next car. My daughter turned to me and said, “That was nice of you to compliment him, Mom. I could tell that he liked that. Men don’t get complimented as much as we do. I’ve read that they relish in compliments longer, and really enjoy them.”

“Wow,” I said. “I love to compliment people. I get as much joy from their reaction as they get from the compliment. I am never dishonest, though. I only compliment what I truly like, and notice, and appreciate about something special and unique about a particular person. Maybe we women should relish in our compliments, too. Maybe we women should really enjoy and believe what the kind person who gave us the compliment had to say, and just soak it in, and marinate in it, all day long.”

Readers, let’s do that in 2021. Let’s make one of our resolutions to believe the nice things that people have to say about us. Let’s make one of our resolutions to notice and relish and appreciate and acknowledge the wonderful qualities of other people and of ourselves, and to say these things out loud. Let’s “glow up” in 2021 and let’s help others to “glow up”, too.

Happy New Year’s Eve, my friends and readers. We’ve reached the last day of a shocking and treacherous year. That makes us strong, resilient, optimistic, hopeful, resourceful, adaptable, and supportive people. You are strong, resilient, optimistic, hopeful, resourceful, adaptable and supportive, and I love that about you. Thank you for being a stable force in my life, and making a positive difference in it. Enjoy the evening!!! Glow up!!!

Everest

In 1953, Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay were the first people ever to reach the summit of Mt. Everest. Before that time, it was believed that this feat was not even possible. By the end of the year 2016, 4,469 people had successfully climbed to the top of Mt. Everest. Some of them more than one time. In 2018, the most people reached the summit in any one year, 800 people, to be exact.

This year, we have proved that a safe, effective vaccine for a deadly virus can be made in less than a year. In fact, we have proved that more than one vaccine for a deadly virus can be produced in less that a year. What has been a devastating disaster, has also proven to be a beacon of hope and wonder and proof of our amazing, inventive abilities. We have helped future generations who may have to go through pandemics, by our successes and our mistakes, throughout this ordeal. This is why we study history. Studying history is not about memorizing dates and names. It’s about learning from our experiences, and providing a template for the humans who come after us. Is it possible that a far deadlier virus is likely to come to this Earth, in the future? Is it not also likely, that because of our experience with the coronavirus, and the vital necessity to find a vaccine, we will prevent lives lost, not only now, but also into the future, with our better, expedient vaccine creating science and techniques? I recognize that this fact, does not take away from the pain and the terrible losses which we have suffered throughout this COVID crisis, but it gives some meaning to all that we have been through. Those who died, did not die entirely in vain. Their deaths lead to the deep sense of urgency, to find a way to stop the spread of the virus, quickly and effectively. And we did it. We created several effective vaccines in less than a year. This has never happened before.

On a personal level, this is a reminder to never say never. Don’t lose your dreams. Don’t lose your clear visions for yourself, for your family and for this world. Be a believer. Don’t stay mired in “impossible.” Anything is possible. Study history. Be inspired by the visionaries, the inventors, and the desirers for a better world. Be the change you want to see. Believe that the best is yet to come. Believe in the best of yourself and of others. Climb your own personal Everests, and create a life that heals and nurtures you, and safeguards you from negative forces. The world will be uplifted for your own uplifted being. Step into the power that has always been inside of you, and inspire others to do the same. If we use this year, and the hard lessons that came with it, to help us to step into our higher powers (as so many of us already have, in so many ways), nothing will have been in vain. Nothing. And the world will shine like never before.

I Am Proud

I am really proud of you. You dealt with a difficult situation, an extremely difficult year – a year filled with unknowns and trepidation and fears, and you handled it. You have one very tough experience under your belt, and the good that has come of this, is that you realize that you are stronger than you ever knew yourself to be. You dealt with disappointments and losses, and you took them on the chin. You learned to live in the moment, to savor the simple things in life, and you learned to have true compassion for yourself, and for others. You grappled with a wide array of extreme emotions, from yourself and from others, and you came to an understanding that life is much more complex than black/white, right/wrong – in short, life isn’t always as clear cut as we want it to be.

I am really proud of you. You learned this year, that gratefulness for what you do have, is the true sanctuary of the heart. You got exposed to so much in life, that you may have taken for granted, and yet, you also got the realization that there was a lot of distracting, superfluous stuff in your life, that was easy to shed, for a clearer path of where you want your life to lead. Through a very muddling, confusing, chaotic year, you were able to get clear on your highest values.

I am really proud of you. You had to spend a lot of time with yourself in 2020, and sometimes that person (yourself) is the hardest person to get to know. We tend to be the toughest, most judgmental critics of ourselves. There was a lot of time for “reflection” in 2020, and sometimes what we see in the mirror isn’t all that pretty, but when we learn to love ourselves, flaws and all, we are better unconditional lovers of others. I am proud that you came around to the gift of self acceptance.

I am really proud of you. You may think that you are all scratched up, weather beaten, bruised and vulnerable. You may feel exhausted and spent, but you are not what that small part of you sees. You are beautiful. You are made pure by the faith and the hope and the love, that kept you going. You may feel like you are hanging by a thread, but that thread you are holding on to is a steely, unbreakable golden thread. This golden thread keeps you connected to the miraculous experience of living life’s overwhelming, enticing and exciting adventures. This year you experienced the full array of what it means to live life on a precarious playing field, with its own terms, and you are humbler and better for it.

I am really proud of you. You shine. I can’t wait to see what is in store for you next. You have proven to yourself that you are resilient, kind, bold, able to face your fears, thankful, and deep. With all of that in your armor, no matter what awaits, you are prepared for it, and as always, your adventures in living, will be awe-striking. Go forward and upward from the ashes of the old you. You have a new layer of light that will help you through any experience that lies ahead on your path, and you have realized a strong connection to your inner compass. And that unbreakable compass that dwells deep inside of your heart, will never, ever steer you wrong. You know this now, more deeply than ever before. I am really proud of you.

Monday Fun-Day

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This Monday, every one in my family has the day off. This is a delicious way to do a Monday. If I were to describe my family’s 2020 holiday season in just one word, that word would be “nurturing.” We didn’t do our usual array of activities and parties and sometimes, even small trips. We mostly stayed home (we had a cold front here in our part of Florida), we ate a lot of comfort food, and we “played” with our new things. My eldest son said that he particularly enjoyed “the banter” of our family, as he lives by himself in an apartment. I love “the banter”, too. One night, my husband and I went to bed earlier than the kids, and we could hear them all laughing and teasing each other in the kitchen. It was music to my ears. I hope that this post finds you calm, and centered and nurtured, as well. I think that this is a very sweet and healthy way to enter into the new year.

“Nurturing is not complex. It’s simply being tuned in to the thing or person before you and offering small gestures toward what it needs at that time.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

Soul Sunday

Hi friends. My regular readers know that Sundays are devoted to poetry. Poetry is mysterious. It leads people to bring more of their own selves to the words, as poetry is more open to interpretation, than most forms of writing. I think that a lot of us think that we don’t like poetry, and then we open our minds to it, and we end up liking it a lot. Poetry is freeing. Here’s my poem for today. Please, as always, feel safe and comfortable to add your own poems to my Comments section.

JUST FOR ME

The poems that are coming to me this morning,

Are too private to share.

The shield over my heart, tells me to expose no more.

Today the muse needs the soft protection,

of holy hands and feathers, and leather bound covers.

Today the words are just mine.

As are the complicated feelings,

That sometimes words just can’t describe.

Some days, my written language is solely my own.

A story made just for me.

On a Light Note

There is a woman named Rose Ann Timpa, who occasionally puts out a list of “funnies” on our Nextdoor (neighborhood) app. I am not sure if these are her own creations, but they are funny, regardless of who wrote them. I am going to share the ones she offered up today. It is good to start the day on a light note:

I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one.

I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.

I miss the 90’s, when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was.

Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, “That can’t be accurate”?

I thought getting old would take longer.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.

Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.