I recently heard the term “human emotional thermometer.” This label means that you are the type of person who is continually taking the temperature of everyone else’s moods and then treating those moods of other people, as if they are your responsibility to fix/change/manage. Many of us women fall into this category. And while we are often very good at testing and managing other people’s emotions, our internal emotional thermometers are often broken when it comes to measuring our own emotions, and what personal needs those emotions are trying to guide us to fulfilling. As in touch as we are with the zeitgeist of the room, we are often entirely out of touch with our own internal feelings.
Are you a human emotional thermometer? Do you need to change the settings from “external” to “internal”? When we become more attuned to our own feelings and moods and thus start taking care of our own needs which these emotions and feelings point to, we actually embark on healthier, mutual relationships. When we can rely on ourselves to understand and to communicate and to fulfill our own needs, we can relax into the idea that others are capable of doing the same thing for themselves. The reality is that most others probably do not want to be “managed” by us, anyway. Finally, when we trust ourselves to keep our own temperature at normal, we stop expecting others to magically do it for us.
“Be a thermostat, not a thermometer.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Think of your moods as a thermometer that takes the temperature of your life.” – Robert Biswas-Diener
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.