Tag: college

Saturday’s Kick Arounds

+ “If a thousand old beliefs were ruined in our march to truth, we must still march on.” – Stopford Brooke

I once watched a documentary where an Egyptologist/archaeologist was saying that many things that we hold to be true about ancient cultures have already been proven false because of the technologies of carbon dating and other discoveries from other sources of science. However, much of these new discoveries are still refuted, and left out of the history books, due to the fact that many academics refuse to “lose face.” No one wants to be proven wrong. And yet that is the way of progress – as conditions and perceptions change, so does reality. Finding the truth is often a process of “unknowing” everything that we are convinced that we already know. In an ideal world, wisdom and knowledge and insight, would always, always supercede our egos.

+ I recently read this fascinating story (which lead me to watching a captivating documentary and purchasing a book, of course – story of my curious life) about a strange, eccentric nanny, named Vivian Maier, who took hundreds of thousands of pictures of people, mostly on the streets of New York and Chicago during the 1950s/60s, and never developed the pictures. A man name John Maloof, purchased all of her negatives from a storage center that she had stopped paying for, for the paltry sum of $380, and astonishingly realized what an amazing talent this photographer had, particularly in finding the “soul” in the people of the photographs that she took. Vivian Maier had already died without a husband nor children, so this man made it his mission to make sure that her work was recognized for its greatness. Her photographs are now available in books, offered up in galleries all over the world, and many consider her to be one of the “greats” of street photography. Check out her website here, and enjoy this interesting little rabbit hole: https://www.vivianmaier.com/ If there was ever an artist who did the art, simply for the obsession of doing it for art’s sake, Vivian Maier is it.

+ One of my best friends from college texted us that she had just landed in Dublin, Ireland for her summer vacation. Coincidentally, my daughter, who is studying in London this summer, happens to be visiting Dublin this weekend with her friends. My husband said to me, “Can you imagine if you had been a prophet, and as you and your friend were sitting in a cozy, little dorm room in Virginia, you said, “We will be lifetime friends and more than three decades from now, you and my daughter will be in Dublin on the very same weekend?” I love this thought. It warms my heart. My deepest belief is that coincidence is just God being anonymous. Coincidence is always a delicious, enticing, comforting mystery.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

815. Have you ever been in a newspaper?

Soul Sunday

Welcome to poetry day on the blog. Plato said that “Poetry is nearer to vital truth than history.” Nietzsche said “Poets are shameless with their experiences: They exploit them.” T. S. Eliot said “It is a test that genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.” What is your truth? How can you exploit what you have experienced into a form of poetry? What are you struggling to understand? Write a poem. You might find an answer. Here is my poem for today:

“The Quest for Knowledge”

We are visiting you at your esteemed institution of learning,

My brilliant, driven, ambitious, beautiful daughter.

There are buildings, and books, and the bustle of ceaseless curiosity,

surrounding us everywhere in this oasis of youth and possibility.

Where will this erudition take you towards your lofty dreams?

I study you closely, pondering these things, quietly to myself.

But then I look up at your carefully crafted picture wall . . .

Beautiful pictures of beautiful people and precious pets,

Your family and your friends all glowing with mutual love and admiration,

The most interesting picture is placed in the center, simple framed words:

“I’ve learned that it’s not what I have in my life, but who I have in my life that counts.”

And this is when I serenely smile to myself, gratefully understanding

that you already know everything that you will ever need to know.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Seven Rocks

picture credit: CNN

Later this evening I will be travelling up to Virginia to reconnect with my seven best friends from college. We used to be really good about having a yearly reunion, but the last time we have had this reunion (or GW as we call it, “Girls Weekend”) was January 2020, when the coronavirus was just this weird virus happening over in China, that none of us knew anything about.

So more than three years later, all eight of us will finally reconvene, in person, again. And I am so excited. I have known these wonderful women for 34 years, since I was 18 years old. Imagine it – eight, 18-year-old ladies, just coming into early adulthood, connecting in college, and sharing funny, crazy college-age adventures together. (and yes, there were other friends along the way, but none of them seem to have “the sticking power” over the three decades that the eight of us magnets seem to have held on to, despite all odds) It is not lost on me, that as I am early entering into this next stage of my adulthood, I will be with seven of the women who helped me to enter into my first stage of adulthood, and who were there to support me, and to moor and anchor me, and to remind me who I am at my core, as I waded into the murky waters of becoming the adult woman, wife, mother, friend, and the overall person who I am today.

As anyone who has lived a life knows, none of us ladies knew what was in store for us, when we launched each other into the first halves of our adulthood. We had inklings. We had dreams. And all eight of us have experienced amazing, wonderful experiences, and also devastating events in our individual lives. This is just the way of life. But what isn’t always the way, is that not everyone has seven constants on their shores. Not everyone has seven giant rocks and pillars of support who have witnessed all of your milestones throughout your entire adulthood. Not everyone has seven people who know you intimately, and have decided to stick with you, and to focus on your lovely qualities and to mostly ignore your flaws. Such kind mirrors, long-time friends can be! Something in our friendship experience feels divine. Something about reconvening with these ladies right at this early empty nest period of my life, feels divine. Why wouldn’t anyone cling to the people and the experiences in your life which feel divine? There are seven strong pillars waiting for me to unite with them. We have survived storms and waves and calm and sunshine and even some battering among ourselves, and no doubt, we will continue to do so. Our shared friendship has withstood the test of time, and I believe that this combined friendship will help to see me (and us) through all of the next set of adventures in this next stage of adulting, and all the way through to the end of our journeys.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

College Days

We are visiting our youngest two children at their shared university this weekend. It’s the last home football game of my youngest son’s senior year in college. We’re only one evening in and I’m pretty, pretty exhausted. There was a time in my early adulthood that it seemed like I had just graduated from college myself. It was a good decade after graduating college, getting married and even having four kids, in which I would still feel as if I had just very recently graduated from college, myself. For the longest time, as an adult, I always felt just a few years out of college.

It is now safe to say that I don’t feel that way anymore. At all. It’s not even close. But it sure is fun to see my babies savoring their college years. And I assume that it will take a long while for them to no longer feel like the fun, silly, energetic, “the sky is the limit”, “life is a party” college co-eds, even years after they graduate. And that is a beautiful thing. The good stuff in life lingers long after it is over. Your experiences never fully leave you. In fact, your experiences do a lot to form you. Perhaps that glimmer of a young, radiant, excited college girl is shining out of my eyes a little bit this weekend. I can remember it (her) like it was yesterday.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

School Days

“Career OVER. I’ve made my mark. I’m done. We were lining up for lunch. A student gives me a hug. I immediately start joking. Are you looking for an A?! Do you want a candy bar?! She looks up at me and says: You’re the reason I come to school.” (credit: @joypcoffee, Twitter)

Teachers, you are amazing. I am friends with many excellent teachers. And I can still call out the teachers by name who made a big difference in my own life and of course, I can also call out by name the teachers who made a huge difference in the lives of our four children. Teachers, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The kids in our area started school this week. It feels surreal. This will be the first time in over two decades that I won’t belong to a PTA, or have to go on a scavenger hunt to find an odd colored folder with a specific amount of pockets that doesn’t exist.

Our youngest child, our daughter, started college this summer. She is home for a couple of weeks before she heads back to her university for the fall session. She was horrified when were in a store the other day and the clerk asked her if she was doing back-to-school shopping. “I’m in college,” she declared, loud and proud, for everyone around to hear. At what age does the shift occur when we no longer want to be noticed for being older and more mature? I can’t even remember. That ship sailed a long, long time ago for me. I did feel slightly delighted (and a little embarrassed) when I was purchasing BOGO iced animal crackers and the clerk asked me if these were for school snacks. “My kids are all grown,” I admitted. “These are mature woman sneaky snacks for when sugar cravings hit.” She nodded in full understanding.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Marco!

credit: Just Mike, Twitter

Laughing is good. There are a lot of funny people in the world. I saw someone pose the question on Twitter the other day, “Would you rather be smart or be funny?” A lot of people responded that most funny people tend to be quite smart. “Funny” itself is kind of a cute, funny word.

I pick up our youngest child, our daughter, from her university today. After a small bout of homesickness, she came out of her shell and took her first summer session at college by storm. My one son exclaimed that his sister had done more activities this summer at college, than he had done there in all four years. Funny.

Our daughter will be home for a couple of weeks, before she heads back to school for fall session. I am excited and aware. Once a child leaves home they never come back quite the same. And this is not a bad thing. It’s fun to see the facets of your children that are glistening new aspects of themselves, which only occur when they leave the nest and really explore things on their own, with a blossoming adult outlook. This is when your relationship with your children starts to evolve into a mutual, adult relationship, and this is when we parents and children start to explore each other’s personalities, experiences, perspectives on a more level ground. We get to know each other more as “people” versus rigid, hierarchical roles. I honestly enjoy this shift. It’s surprising, interesting, and a growing moment for both of you.

As has been the case with all four of our children, I think that our daughter is most excited to reunite with our dogs. They never disappoint. Dogs never hold back their exuberant feelings of love and excitement.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

My Advisor

I’m having a little bit of writer’s block. It doesn’t happen to me often, but nothing is stirring me, except perhaps the heat, and the humidity, and feeling a little stuck in my process of trying to move comfortably into the Empty Nest.

As I was writing the above sentences, my daughter texted me (she started her freshman year of college this summer). The text said this:

“Just had the best meeting with my advisor! He is so nice and I got all of my problems fixed lol.”

I found this comforting for many reasons. We all need to have meetings with “My Advisor.” “My Advisor” has a way of making everything seem easier, under control, and reassuring that all of our problems will be fixed. Do you need to schedule an appointment with your own “My Advisor”? Is this meeting a little overdue? Find a way to fit in a meeting in with your “Advisor” today in whatever form that takes for you: prayer, nature walk, meditation, quiet time, etc. It will be the best use of your time today. I promise.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Fret Less

What makes the other people in your life happy?

My husband loves to go biking on his beautiful, orange, sexy Italian bicycle for miles and miles. He comes back home all covered and dripping in sweat, with the widest, longest lasting grin that I ever see him wear.

My friend loves to kayak. She is a teacher, so she is off work for the summer, so our friend group rarely hears from her during the day, because she spends her days in bliss, floating and rowing on our beautiful, clear Gulf waters. Almost every morning we get a text, “I’ll be out on the kayak today!”

My daughter is loving her new, engaging, interesting college experiences. On Facetime, she delightedly showed us a coaster that she had made in a crafting class (she loves doing artistic things), and was thrilled to relay that she spontaneously jumped into a volleyball game. Apparently her days of playing volleyball in middle school came right back to her, and she was proud of the “high fives” that she received from new friends, for some smooth moves on the sandy court.

My youngest son loves showing us the creative projects that he is required to come up with, during his summer’s internship. Part of the job requires him to take pictures of happy customers with the power tools that he has sold to them. Every day, it is fun (and sometimes even surprising – there are some adorable, teeny women who love themselves some power tools) to peruse the pictures of the happy, anticipatory faces of the various customers with the tools that they are purchasing, probably with ideas of what they are going to create and improve in their own sweet nests at home.

A few of my friends are in new, fresh, budding love relationships. It’s so delightful to see friends whom I have known for decades look like excited teenagers again, as they explain the fun that they have been having getting to know the new loves in their lives. I sometimes can see their original fresh faces (the faces which I met when we were teenagers) shining through their smiles, as they excitedly, and yet shyly, describe their new escapades.

Our two eldest sons were visiting each other last week. They cheerfully and teasingly described biking to the beach together, and trying out delicious new restaurants which they both enjoyed. There’s nothing a mother loves more than seeing her kids lovingly share experiences together, even when they are no longer under her roof. When your kids elect to be together, instead of being forced to be together, you know that there is real honest love there. (good heart medicine for mamas)

Friends, the news these days is often not good at all. Reading the news or watching the news, makes me feel sick in the deepest pit of my stomach. To offset those sickening feelings which I know aren’t good for my mental or my physical health, I try to think of happy thoughts. There is no easier way to do this, than to think of the people whom I love, doing the things that make them feel happy and whole and alive and inspired. And when I do this, guess what I feel inside? Happy and whole and alive and inspired. People who love me, can think of me in my purposefully cluttered writing nook, every once in a while gazing out of my large windows, to see the inspiration of the gorgeous nature surrounding me, enjoying the quiet snores of the dogs whom I adore, contentedly napping all around me, as I connect with the deepest, most creative, most eternal part of myself, struggling to type the words fast enough, that are bursting forth from my heart. I am so happy writing my blog. What makes the people whom you love happy? Think about that thought. Imagine it fully. Now, transit that thinking into what makes you happy. Go do more of it. Fret less, experience more. Look for the happy.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Again

I am here at the freshman orientation at my daughter’s university. This entire month has been a whirlwind of activity and all of it with emotion attached to it. I am eager for a quieter, more steady month in June.

Since I have four children, I have had the interesting experience of being considered one of the young moms for my eldest son (I had him when I was 25), and one of the older, more seasoned moms with my daughter, our youngest child. All four of my children have (or will have) attended the same university. At this point, I honestly think that I could run this orientation myself. Still, it is new and fresh and exciting to my daughter and I am thrilled for her. I am also thrilled for all of the first-time university parents who will attend today’s events with wide eyes and lumps in their throats. Today, in my older, seasoned mom role, I want to hug all of them and let them know that it will be okay. It’s all going to be okay. In fact, it’s going to be great. This is just another doorway into new and fresh adventures for the entire family. And it will be amazing.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Protective Love

30 Best Mother-Daughter Quotes - Sweet Quotes About Moms and Daughters

Our daughter got into her university of choice last night. She will attend the same university that her beloved brothers have attended. Not one of my children has worked harder at this goal of being admitted to this university than my daughter. (and I know that our sons would heartily agree with this statement) We are all so proud of her, excited for her and we are shedding our family’s protective love armor all over her, as she takes these first big steps into the adventure of her fast approaching adulthood. My heart is swelled with pride, love, and awe for the precious gift of my little girl, and her blossoming into a vibrant woman of value and excellence and determination.

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Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.