Blog - Page 93 of 233 - Adulting: Second- Half

Tidbits

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Happy Memorial Day. Happy Start of Summer! I know that a lot of you northerners are opening up your pools today. Jump right in! I was always so excited about the opening up of pools when I was kid living in Pennsylvania.

This weekend has been deliciously lazy for me. I’ve slept in, all three days and I make no apologies for it. I’ve done very little in the way of chores, and I have done a ton of reading, which is one of my most favorite activities in life. I’ve read an interesting book, and half of another good book, and I am all caught up on my stack of magazines. Here are a few tidbits that I gleaned from my magazine reading over this weekend:

+ Avocadoes are berries. (No wonder why I like them so much!)

+ Crepuscular animals are animals that are most active at dawn and dusk. I was reading about red pandas at a zoo and the keeper mentioned that they were crepuscular, so she advised that it was best to view them in all of their glory, at dawn and at dusk. It then occurred to me, that squirrels are also crepuscular (they are – I looked it up) because every morning my dogs go nuts (dumb pun intended) at the squirrels hanging out on our fence, running along it and teasing our dogs mercilessly, as I am trying to write my blog. And then, once again, every evening, as I am starting to cook dinner, I noticed that my dogs also start whining like crazy at our back door, because the squirrels are doing wondrous Cirque du Solei acts on our bird feeder, without fail. So now you have a new word in your vocabulary – crepuscular. (and you also now know that avocadoes are berries. Jeopardy, here you come!)

+ And my final knowledge drop of the day, comes from an article by Kevin Anderson from Spirituality & Health magazine. He says that we do not heal and solve the problems which we ruminate on. Rumination just causes extra anxiety, stress and even depression. He recommends using the visual of a dog, wearing a cone. Dogs wear those cones on their heads after having surgery in order to avoid constantly licking and biting at their sutures. (I can still picture our adorable Josie, the collie puppy, after her spay surgery. She was such a good sport about wearing the cone, despite running and bumping into everyone and everything!) Anyway, any time that you find yourself stuck in agonizing rumination, put on your proverbial dog cone and do not allow yourself to “lick those scabs.” Anderson suggests actually putting your hands by your neck to symbolize “the cone” and bring your attention back to your breath and to the moment. Most of our problems are solved naturally and organically, after we have taken the steps which we are able to do about our problems. After taking the steps to do what you can, put on your “cone” and get into and stay in the flow of life!

I’ll end with these wise words that Rami Shapiro wrote to a reader who is overwhelmed by all of the sadness and atrocities in this world. Rami quoted the first century Rabbi Tarton, “While it is not up to you to complete the task of perfecting the world, neither are you free to abandon it.” This goes right along with a reader of Real Simple magazine who wrote in to answer the question, “What was your mom’s mantra during childhood?” Sallie Rupe answered, “Be a blessing.” I heard it every time I left the house.”

Soul Sunday

My blog is devoted to poetry on Sundays. Poetry has a way of penetrating one’s emotions like no other form of communication. I read this poem, which I am going to share below, the day after the Texas elementary school shooting massacre. When I looked for a good copy of it to share today on the blog, I found it in the form of a Ted Talk. I can think of no better poem to share today than The Opposites Game by Brendan Constantine:

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

To Be Home

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Is there any more delicious of a feeling, than basking at being home, and being unscheduled at home? After experiencing over a month of one major thing to do, or place to go, after another, being at home right now, in this moment, feels luxuriously restful, safe and rejuvenating to me. There is no bed that feels more comfortable than your own bed, and there is no place on Earth that you feel more yourself, than your own home. I have often thought that sometimes the absolute best part of being away from home, is the appreciation that you feel for home, when you return to its loving grace. It is not surprising to me, that when people pass on, their loved ones are often comforted with the words, “He’s at home now. She’s home now, and at peace.” Home is equivalent to peacefulness and tranquility and comfort and serenity. Peacefulness is our true home.

Friday Gangster

RIP -Ray Liotta

During the pandemic, my family and I had a weekly “movie night”. On “movie night”, all six of us (including my eldest son who lives in another state) would watch a movie chosen by one of us (we all took turns picking out the movie of the week to watch) at the same time, and then we would talk about the film afterwards. My middle son chose Goodfellas for us to watch during one of his turns to pick a movie, and I remember thinking, “Why?? Are you serious?!? I’ve already seen that movie like a million times!” And then we watched it, and Goodfellas was, of course, amazing. In fact, in the end, we all ranked all of the movies that we had watched over those several, long months, during those never-ending days of lockdown, and Goodfellas turned out to be our universal favorite out of all of the movies that we had watched together. So today, on Favorite Things Friday here at the blog, I choose Goodfellas as one of my favorite classic movies of all time. Pop some popcorn, sit your bottom down on your couch, and watch Goodfellas once again tonight. You won’t regret it.

Today, we are still at freshman orientation at my daughter’s university which is the same university that her three older brothers attended. We are at our fourth freshman orientation of the same university, within eight years. My takeaway of this particular orientation is that the pandemic has made all of us a little rusty. This version of freshman orientation is a little more subdued, a little less seamless, and a little more jaded. This is the first time that we have had to watch a seven minute video on what to do in the case of an active shooter on campus. Watching this video was horrifying, terrifying and honestly, the most quiet and somber energy which I have ever experienced in a large ballroom, full of people. I believe that we are all trying to get back to a peaceful, comfortable, serene “normal.” It’s going to take some time and some patience and some compassion for us to get there. However, we will get there. We will. Believe it.

“To me being a gangster was better than being president of the United States.” -Henry Hill, Goodfellas

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Again

I am here at the freshman orientation at my daughter’s university. This entire month has been a whirlwind of activity and all of it with emotion attached to it. I am eager for a quieter, more steady month in June.

Since I have four children, I have had the interesting experience of being considered one of the young moms for my eldest son (I had him when I was 25), and one of the older, more seasoned moms with my daughter, our youngest child. All four of my children have (or will have) attended the same university. At this point, I honestly think that I could run this orientation myself. Still, it is new and fresh and exciting to my daughter and I am thrilled for her. I am also thrilled for all of the first-time university parents who will attend today’s events with wide eyes and lumps in their throats. Today, in my older, seasoned mom role, I want to hug all of them and let them know that it will be okay. It’s all going to be okay. In fact, it’s going to be great. This is just another doorway into new and fresh adventures for the entire family. And it will be amazing.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

What Are We Doing?

I did a Google search of when the last time we did a major gun law reform law in the United States. It was in 2008 and I couldn’t even really decipher what the law even really meant. The Sandy Hook tragedy happened in 2012. The Parkland school tragedy happened in 2018. Just in this month, in a matter of days, here in the United States in 2022, we have had the Buffalo, New York mass shooting tragedy, a Taiwanese church in California attacked by a shooter, and now 19 elementary school students and two adults were killed in Texas yesterday. People will argue that it is people who kill people, and not guns, but have we given strong gun control laws a fair try?? Have we tried solid gun control laws at all, to see if this might actually make a difference?!? We all know that inanimate objects (and access to inanimate objects) are far easier to control than it is to control people. We all know that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing again and again, and to expect different results. Recently I have said, more than once, even before yesterday’s horrific tragedy, that I was so relieved that all of my four children made it through their primary schooling without a school shooting incident. How pathetic is that?!?

“It takes a monster to kill children. But to watch monsters kill children again and again and do nothing isn’t just insanity—it’s inhumanity.” -@TheAmandaGorman

The Next Note

Hi friends. It’s been a crazy morning here. I like this quote. Mistakes happen. We all make them. It’s a matter of learning from them. If you learn from your mistakes, they can be some of your greatest strengths and blessings. Mistakes can create the best next notes you have ever played.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

We have a fancy bowl filled with stuff like this. We add to it about weekly. Unfortunately, I can’t write a long post this morning. I have to get my son and his girlfriend to the airport. Sob. So much good happened over this weekend which I haven’t had the time and solitude to process. I have savored every moment (that flew by so fast), but that’s the fun of reflecting on, and processing major moments in your life – you get to savor them all over again.

TOP 25 QUOTES BY ANTONIO DAMASIO (of 70) | A-Z Quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good morning, readers. Today is poetry day on the blog. It’s always fun to play with words and that is what poetry is – just playing with words. When our children are little, and they are trying to communicate, we often say to them, “Use your words.” Today I say, “Play with your words.” Here is what came out of my own word play today (Have a wonderful rest of your weekend!! Stay in the moment and savor it all.):

When you were my baby girl, I fondly gazed at your tiny toes,

And when you were a little girl, I dressed you up in bows.

When you were in middle school, I soothed your highs and lows,

And when you were in high school, we loved shopping for your clothes,

Watching you graduate yesterday, my face glows and my heart grows,

You are a golden girl who will have a wonderful life, this your mother knows.

The Marathon

I recently said to my husband, “I feel like we are about to cross the finish line of a major marathon.” He said to me, “Well, we have been parenting for 26 years.” (Our eldest son turned 26 in April, and for those of you non-runners like me, who for the longest time thought that those stickers on cars that state “26.2” perhaps referred to a Bible verse, the stickers actually refer to the fact that a marathon is 26.2 miles long.)

Today is my daughter’s high school graduation. She is the youngest of our four children and she is our only girl. She has opted to start college in the summer, so in about a month, this empty nest thing will truly be our reality. When I am not feeling curiously numb about this graduation ceremony soon to happen, I feel this:

pride/shock/awe/sadness/happiness/confusion/clarity/relief/exhaustion/vitality/excitement/fear/emptiness/fullness/curiosity/wonder/reminiscence/hilarity/anticipation/gratefulness/longing/protectiveness/faith/hope/love/love/love/love/love/love/love

and all of this is happening in rapid fire succession, or perhaps these emotions are actually happening all at once. I really don’t know. Some experiences cannot be put into words, as hard as I try.

This is what I do know, though. This marathon has been completely and totally worth it. This marathon has been, and will always be, the most important, meaningful race of my life. I honestly had no way of preparing for what it would mean to be tasked with getting four amazing souls safely from babyhood into their adulthoods, but I kept my stride. I stumbled here and there, but I always kept on going. I caught my breath, and I kept on going. I kept the pace. And I held the hand of my husband, throughout it all, and so together, today, we will cross this finish line completely tied. It won’t even be a photofinish. We will do this crossing over the finish line together, completely as one, just like we did at the starting line, a little over 26 years ago.

“Of all the races, there is no better stage for heroism than a marathon.” – George Sheehan

“Ask yourself: ‘Can I give more?’ The answer is usually: ‘Yes’.”– Paul Tergat

“When you run the marathon, you run against the distance, not against the other runners and not against the time.” -Haile Gebrselassie

21 Awesome Running Motivational Quotes For Your Next Run

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.