Good morning. Sundays are poetry day on the blog. I experienced an incident recently that inspired the poem that I wrote below. Pick a recent event in your life that sticks with you, and commemorate and honor it with a poem. This is what poets do. And all of us are poets in our own way.
You showed up with tact and grace.
I showed up with “in your face.”
Luckily, I took the pause.
I kept the words between my jaws.
I watched you communicate what I wanted to say,
But peppered with kindness and love was your way.
It’s great to be an old dog learning new tricks.
From the other old dogs, who are in the mix.
What is the purpose of the friends in your life?
Besides entertainment and support for your strife?
Friends help you to learn to be a better you.
They often see the better you, before you even do.
Friends are mirrors, travel companions, and vessels of love,
Friends are gifts you give to yourself, with help from above.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
“We don’t talk about trees getting older, we say that they are growing. Let’s use the same language for ourselves. We are not getting older, we are growing.” – @Eternal.Knowledge
When she was a little girl, our daughter received the gift of a tiny little fir sprig in a cute little pot shaped like a Santa toy bag. When Christmas was over that year, she couldn’t bear to part with the little fir tree, so we replanted it in various pots over the years. Our daughter turns nineteen in a few weeks, and her little baby fir tree is that tree that you see on the right, in the picture above. We keep it on our front stoop, but it is starting to get so big that it is covering our windows. I told my husband that not too long from now, it may have to become our Christmas tree one year.
I saw the quote shown above the picture the other day, and I had to ponder it for a while. Physical growth is so obvious when things are young and turning into adult whatevers. Children are growing, plants are growing, puppies are growing . . . The truth is, we rarely talk about “growing” in more than a physical sense, in our regular everyday language. The focus on growth is physical growth most of the time, because like my daughter’s fir sprig, the growth is so obvious to the naked eye.
Emotional and spiritual growth is deeper and less noticeable. And where I think the above quote got it wrong, is that some people do stop growing as they age. They stunt their emotional growth, and despite aging, they really aren’t growing, but more so, they remain diminished in their closed mindedness, and they start to decay and to decline.
As trees grow older and mature, their yearly growth is less noticeable. You only realize their subtle growth by noticing new branches with young vital green leaves springing off of them. The goal for any of us, is to always be growing in new directions with our branches, right? The goal is to remain rooted in our deepest values, but to reach out into areas which we’ve never been before, and to continue to grow, and to learn, and to stretch our horizons.
We can choose to grow with our unavoidable aging process, or we can let ourselves wither and remain stunted and small and fade as we age. Aging is not within our control. Everything that lives right now is currently aging. Growing is a choice. Growing is what makes our own experience of living and aging, meaningful and interesting and full of wonder and purpose. Trees, even in the worst soil and the harshest of conditions, do their damndest to grow and to reach for the skies. Most trees live longer than we humans do. (especially the trees that live in harsh conditions -“their ability to survive these harsh environments and adverse growing conditions is exactly their secret to great longevity.” -nps.gov). The oldest trees are the Bristlecone Pines, and they are close to 5000 years old. Because the trees continue to grow, even in harsh and adverse environments, they continue to live to ripe old ages. Is there a correlation to their continuing to grow that allows trees to live long, solid, stable lives? I think that this is the real question to ponder.
No matter what our age is right now, we have a daily choice. We can choose to become decrepit and stagnant and worn out and despondent and resentful and stuck, as we continue to age, or we can continue to grow and to reach and to learn and to continually sprout new branches of ourselves, as we age. If we choose to age the latter way, us and everyone around us, will not so much focus on our inevitable, obvious physical aging, but will instead, be in awe of our ever-evolving masterful, majestic, inspiring growth.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Happy Friday!!! Happy Best Day of the Week!!! Happy Day to play with all of your favorite stuff!! On Fridays, here at the blog, that’s all I discuss – my favorite stuff. We weren’t given five senses for nothin’. Today’s favorite involves perhaps my favorite sense: Taste. My daughter was home from college visiting us last weekend, and we went to her, and mine, and her dad’s favorite store: Costco. My daughter begged and pleaded (Okay, huge exaggeration. My daughter suggested them, and I, without hesitation, nodded enthusiastically to throw them into the cart) for us to buy a bag of Trü Frü frozenchocolate covered strawberries. Oh! Wow! Let’s just say that the enormous bag of Trü Frü did not make it to this weekend. These luscious frozen strawberries are first coated with white chocolate and then they are dipped in milk chocolate. And these juicy babies trick your brain into believing that they are healthy, because you know, they’re fruit. Supposedly, three of them are less than 100 calories. . . if you can keep it to three.
Don’t fret. You can buy Trü Frü in many different food stores besides Costco. You can even purchase all sorts of varieties of Trü Frü fruit snacks on their own website. (I know where you are headed next.)
Have a fabulous, yummy weekend!! See you tomorrow!!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Today is a good day to give yourself what you need. Instead of being frustrated with others and their lack of fulfilling your needs, step into your power and give it to yourself. Talk to yourself about what your needs are (be the best listener and “hearer” that you have ever had in your life, for yourself), and what feels lacking in your life right now, and ask yourself, calmly but firmly, to find ways to fulfill your own needs. The direct route to anything whether it be a road, or communication, is usually the healthiest, easiest, and fastest way to get to the point of destination, where you are wanting to arrive.
Don’t expect others to fulfill your needs. Make the decision to be the best life manager you have ever been since you took on this role when you were born. Show yourself appreciation. Place boundaries where needed. Give yourself good nourishment, some solitude, some playtime, and sound rest. Be really honest with yourself about what you need, and be really honest with yourself if you have been indirectly trying to get others to fulfill your needs, and then feel resentful when they don’t. There is no better way to get respect from others than giving it to yourself first.
And remember, also, that it is not your job to fulfill other adults’ needs. If they directly ask for help, you can decide whether you have the current capacity to be of service, and then you can choose to do so, willingly and happily. You also have the right and the ability to say, “No.” You are not the only source to fulfill someone else’s various needs. Their source (just like yours) is bubbling inside of them.
(Most of my blog posts that read like the one above, are reminders and lectures that I give to myself. If you need this lecture, too, then I am happy that it helps more than me. If it doesn’t apply, than please just smile to yourself, and think, “Wow, that lady is one hot mess!” and feel smug that you are a little further along on the direct route of your own path in life, and carry on to have a wonderful day.)
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Yesterday, everyone in my orb seemed to be cranky. My husband was a grump all day. Most of the texts that I received throughout the day from family and friends were predominantly a litany of complaints. A man who had come to do some pressure washing at our home, had his pressure pump break in the middle of the job, and he was angry! I had a phone call with my irritable youngest son that was not pleasant. In short, I was surrounded by cantankerous energy and there was no escaping it.
In years past, being the spongy person that I am, I would have turned myself inside out trying to change everyone’s moods, mostly for my own comfort. If they all got into better moods, then their grey clouds wouldn’t overtake me. Also, in years past, I might have just succumbed to joining the Cranks Club. In my younger years, I had such loose boundaries that my motto might have been “Mi Mood-a, Su Mood-a”.
But at the ripe old age of 52, with a lot of reading and soulful introspection, I have grown. I no longer try to change anyone’s moods. I have my own fair amount of grumpy days and I am entitled to them. I don’t believe in “toxic positivity.” To stay healthy, you must feel (feel, not ruminate on nor marinate in, but definitely feel) your feelings, in order to free them. Ignored, stuffed, denied feelings have a way of turning into emotional explosions and illnesses and disorders. However, I also now make the strong effort to no longer take on anyone else’s moods. Yesterday, I, myself, was having a positive, serene, enjoyable day, and I wasn’t going to let anyone take that away from me.
In our parts, we have been enjoying the most beautiful crisp, clear, cool evenings for the last few weeks, with the perfect view of Venus and Jupiter coming closer together every single night. We walk our dogs most nights, but last night I wasn’t ready to go back into the house, after our walk. I hopped on to my bike and I invited my grumpier half to come along if he wanted to, and so he did. (Mostly my husband came along on our bike ride because he doesn’t think that my bike is well-lit enough. He’s protective, even when he is ornery.) And it was so lovely and peaceful and quiet and still and centering. My husband remained silently grouchy, but he enjoyed the excursion. I remained happy and grateful and cheery, and I enjoyed the excursion. And then we came home, we went to bed, and we woke up to the blank slate of our individual rested selves, fresh and ready to start a new day, on the first day in a hopeful new month, in the early parts of a lovely new year.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Remember when Dorothy and her cohorts met the real “Wizard of Oz” and they realized that the wizard was just a human being, nothing more and nothing less? I’ve been noticing this phenomenon in myself lately. Without really knowing certain people, I have either built them up, or I have torn them down with stories that I made up in my head about them. I already had made up my mind about a few people whom I had only met a handful of times. And then I spent some open-minded, inquisitive time with these people, and it’s like I am getting to know someone completely different and new. This prejudgment is not fair to others, and it’s embarrassing and sometimes a little devastating to me.
The important question which I have been asking myself, is why did I need to do this? Why did I turn certain people into characters that fit into my narratives? Did I need a supporting cast to validate my own decisions? Why do we feel the need for superheroes and villains to exist, when in real life, all of us are a big mix, in between the two extremes?
Everything you ever read about obtaining peace and serenity, comes down to accepting life on life’s terms, in the every single moment. That includes everyone in your life. In “The Wizard of Oz” it turns out that the wizard could have easily fit into Dorothy’s little gang of friends, going along the paths of their lives, utilizing their talents and accommodating their flaws. I read something recently that said what we love in others, is what we love about ourselves, and what we can’t stand about others, are traits which we wish that we could consciously see, and accept, and forgive within ourselves.
When you find yourself creating stories about the people and the events in your life, get less curious and detail oriented about the fantastical stories about others, and get more curious about your need to create the stories. What are these stories that you are creating, telling yourself about you, and your needs, and your desires, and your fears? Take other people off of their pedestals, and/or pick them out of your proverbial sewers, and get to know them with an objective, realistic, humanistic point of view. The lessons are not in the fictional sagas which we make up, but in the everyday, in-the-moment nuances found in our compassion for others, and for ourselves.
Cowardly Lion: “I have always thought myself very big and terrible; yet such small things as flowers came near to killing me, and such small animals as mice have saved my life. How strange it all is! – The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
Dorothy: “If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own backyard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right? – The Wizard of Oz
Wizard of Oz: “Frightened? Child, you’re talking to a man who’s laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe… I was petrified.”
Scarecrow: “I am convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folks are like the leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed.” – The Wizard of Oz
Tin Woodman (Tin man): “I shall take the heart. For brains do not make one happy, and happiness is the best thing in the world.” – The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Spring is right around the corner. Living in Florida, this statement brings up mixed emotions. When I lived up north, I couldn’t wait for spring. In Florida, spring brings in a big old influx of people who don’t know where they are going on the roads, and the reminder that a hot, hot summer is just around the bend. Still, I love spring. I love the natural change of seasons. Each new season brings a fresh new start to whatever in your life needs a fresh new start.
“Spring is the time of plans and projects.” — Leo Tolstoy
“Spring adds new life and new beauty to all that is.” — Jessica Harrelson
“It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.” — Rainer Maria Rilke
“An optimist is the human personification of spring.” — Susan J. Bissonette
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I am having one of those weekends that feels like a delicious, warm, comforting reward for a week of getting things off of my plate that have been nibbling at me. It’s so satisfying to look at my to-do list with lines all through it and to tell myself, “Okay, Lady, good job. Now, just go have some fun!”
Book I’m Currently Reading: The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest. I highly recommend this book. I’m halfway through it, and it is filled with interesting scientific facts about how our human minds work. I am finding this book to be interesting, helpful and in many ways enlightening.
Song I’m Currently Listening To: Bam Bam by Sister Nancy. This is such a great reggae classic. My daughter reminded me of it when she played it yesterday when we were driving in her car. I love that my kids bring back the cool stuff from ‘my day’ and make me love and appreciate these things all over again. I have reached an age that I am now so “retro”, that I’m actually kind of cool again. Bam Bam, baby!
Best Compliment I Received This Week: “I’m a really hard person to buy for and you completely nailed it.” It is such a satisfying feeling to give a gift, and to see that the person receiving the gift absolutely adores what you gave to them. We all love to receive gifts and we all appreciate the thought and the kindness and the resources and time that go into thinking about, buying, creating, packaging and sending gifts, but the total cherry on the top is when the the gift is exactly what a person loves and you, as the giver, get to be the simultaneous messenger/receiver of that love, and joy, and connection of the event of “just the right gift”.
Okay, friends. Please answer the above prompts just for yourself, or if you choose, in my Comments section. What’s happening for you right now? What’s feeling good this weekend for you? What’s your “vibe”?
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Happy Friday, friends!! Happy Best Day of the Week!! Our daughter is coming home for the weekend from college, so needless to say this is a great Friday for us! (but aren’t all Fridays wonderful?!) My regular readers know that I dedicate Fridays on the blog, to the materially fun and frivolous. On Fridays, I discuss stuff that I like. That’s it. Nothing deeper than stuff and fluff that I like. Please check out previous Friday posts for more favorites and please share your favorites in my Comments section. I’m always looking to add to my list of favorites in my life!
Today’s favorite I picked up the other day because I love all things related to stationery. (And I love all things related to dogs.) Of course I didn’t need another pad of paper, but this one makes me particularly happy. Today’s favorite is Eccolo World Traveler Dog Lover’s Pad. What makes this pad of paper particularly special is that each piece of paper features a different dog. There is not one duplicate of the same dog! We dog lovers know that each dog, even if they are of the same breed, are as utterly unique as individual snowflakes and fingerprints. If you are a dog lover (and most of us are, it seems) you will find this pad for jotting down notes and lists, a must-have! You can purchase Eccolo World Traveler Dog Lover’s Pad at Staples like I did, or you can order it from Amazon.
I hope that your tails wag all weekend, and that you have new exciting tales to tell of what you explored and experienced! See you tomorrow.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
