The artist Titsay put this artwork up on Twitter and calls it “A Collection of Things That Bring Joy.” I love this picture. I so relate to it. If you would see my desk or my closet, you would say, “Oy!” and yet I call it “joy.” Every little knick knack which I own holds some kind of meaning to me. That being said, I am fully aware that I need to reduce my clutter. It has been on my to-do list, to do so, since January. I keep looking for that wide, clear space on my calendar, in order to start my decluttering process, that wide space that just doesn’t ever seem to appear. Note to self:
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
The other day, I said to my daughter, “Oh, it smells like rain.” And she agreed with me, but I doubt either one of us could accurately describe what rain smells like. In Australia, in 1964, scientists coined the name “petrichor” for the refreshing, cleansing smell of rain, after a particularly dry season. Petrichor comes from two Greek words meaning “blood of the gods” and “stone.”
Last night, my husband and I were watching a show about nature and it showed that elephants have such a powerful sense of smell that they can find water from deep within the dry, sandy earth. Other animals rely on elephants to dig and to find this water, so that they can drink from it, after the elephants finish. It turns out that, among many other wonderful things, elephants are enormous ecological divining rods.
Supposedly our human sense for smelling rain is better than a shark’s ability to sniff blood in the water. I think that is why I like shows about nature or observing nature around me. It’s such a keen reminder that we are so much more than our minds, and the stories that we tell ourselves. We are just complicated animals who have lost the awe for what our senses can tell us, and do for us. We need to remind ourselves of our own amazing ability to sniff out petrichor when we are wandering through dry spells in our lives. We need to take some time every day to just be in our senses, and to use our senses to lead us to cleansing refreshment and renewal when we think that our wells have run dry. We need to learn to trust our whole selves, and not just our minds alone, as without checks and balances, our minds tend to be a little tricky and deceiving.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Two of my favorite feelings in the world are rarely discussed. Happiness, love, joy, glee, pride, excitement, peace, gratitude are all well-known “up” feelings on the feelings wheel/scale, but two of my all-time favorite feelings that I literally bathe in/saturate in/soak fully in and appreciate immensely, beyonds words are: 1) Having my curiosity satisfied (even if something/someone/some happening ends up being terrible, at least I know . . . Wondering is the worst state of limbo and being in limbo is one of my least favorite feelings in the world) and 2) Relief. I had to put a period after the word “Relief” because the feeling of relief is that solidly good. Both of these emotions are “results of results.” Both of these emotions eliminate uncertainty.
Since last summer our family and our extended family has been in what feels like a constant state of having to anticipate, and having to plan for both unusually good and unusually bad life-changing events. There have been graduations, new schools, major illnesses, funerals, dealing with estates, major trips, planning moves to new places, new job offers, etc. etc. etc. There have been so many new decisions to make. Now, I grasp that this is often just the way of life, but sometimes life gets a little clumpy, and since last summer, we’ve been rolling through a big ol’ clump of change that for now, at least, seems to have levelled out a little bit. We can breathe. The storm has passed. The direction ahead seems a little more clear in the windshield. (Now this is the point where I take a pause from writing, and I knock on my wooden desk until my knuckles turn bloody.)
Anyway, for today, I am luxuriating in the feeling of relief, and the gratitude for feeling this sense of relief. The weight feels lifted off of my shoulders. I can feel the grateful pause in my mind, and in my body, and and in my soul. I no longer have a million “What ifs?/How’s this going to go?/What’s next?” swirling around in my mind. I could have lived without the clustered clump of the major highs and the major lows which my family and I just experienced in less than a year, but perhaps the wonderful, cleansing, breathe out moment of relief that I am feeling right now, makes it all worth it.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I thought that the above “card” was better than a poem today. Certain holidays that bring up so much joy, also can bring up an intense amount of pain. Remember, no matter what, today is just a day. And there is no one true definition of love. . . LOVE IS.
And to my children: being your mother is undoubtedly the greatest experience of my life. I love you all, intensely, gently, yet ferociously, forever and ever and ever.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I slept in this morning and it was so delicious. I am taking this “do whatever you want/it’s all about you” Mother’s Day weekend thing quite seriously. So far, so great. And what I want to say to all of you, no matter who you are, or what you are (we all some have feminine energy in us), celebrate Mother’s Day. You don’t have to be an actual mother to understand the wise, serene, fiercely strong beyond measure energy which lies inside all of us. This is the mother/female/yin energy which leans towards protectiveness, and nurturing, and guiding, and sheltering, and hoping, and feeling connected to all living things. This weekend, celebrate everyone in your life who has helped to “mother” you – your own mother, your grandmothers, your aunts, your friends, the neighbor ladies who helped you to grow up, your pets, and most importantly, yourself. You have mothered your own self your entire life and you will do so until you die. Honor your inner mother.
When I was in Rome, I purchased some things in a jewelry boutique, and I connected to the lovely, fashionable young man who owned the shop. The shop owner had an adorable shop dog, an aloof black Chow Chow named Mala (who was as diva as they get). The shop owner and I talked about our mutual love of animals and as I left and I wished him well, that is when he looked at me deeply and he said, “Thank you, mother.” And there was a little twinge of me that was like, “Ah shucks, I’ve clearly reached the age where the youngies never confuse me as their contemporary,” but there was a bigger part of me that swelled with pride and connection and gratefulness that he felt comfort and joy from me . . . the kind of energy that deserves the title, “mother.”
I have this thing about my purpose, lately, that I visualize. I call myself “The Rose Quartz.” When you go into any metaphysical/spiritual shop they usually have bins full of crystals for sale, all used for various purposes. Each crystal is supposed to carry an energy that helps you with various aspects of your life. If you need clarity, you might be lead to buying selenite. If you need courage, you might be advised to buy carnelian. Rose Quartz is often considered to hold the energy of unconditional love. Now, I don’t honestly know if I completely buy into “crystal magic.” I do own many crystals mostly because I am attracted to all things beautiful and shiny. Also, I do believe that everyone and everything which we witness here in life are just various forms of energy (and there are scientific physics laws that prove this). However, there are a great deal of people out there, who do believe that rose quartz is full of the energy of unconditional love. And so if someone is willing to purchase a small pink rock because it helps them to feel the highest form of love in the Universe, why can’t I make it my purpose to be The Rose Quartz in human form? Why can’t I be the The Rose Quartz for my own children, and for your children, and for anyone whom I come into contact with, during the day? I have reached the age, with enough life under my belt, to so appreciate the living Rose Quartzes who have touched my own life throughout my over fifty years of struggle and triumph. I think it is time for me to step into my own Rose Quartz-ness, state of being. I invite you to join me. It’s a beautiful, glowing, calming, change-the-world-and-change-myself-in-the-process (without having to do too much), kind of a purpose.
And in completely other news, I loved the movie version of Are You There God? It’sMe Margaret. So did my 19-year old daughter, and so did the group of sixty-somethings sitting beside us in the theater. There was a lot of Rose Quartz energy I was feeling in that theater yesterday. The two best moments in the movie, in my opinion, were these (SPOILER alert):
When the “too-nice/too eager to please/too codependent” mother of Margaret finally stood up for herself with the overbearing PTA mom and when the PTA mom tried to get Margaret’s mother to volunteer for a gazillion more activities, her mom said this:
“Thank you. I’d really love to, but I don’t want to.” It’s okay to like what you like, to do what you want to do, and to say no. “No” is a full sentence. (Remember this, Rose Quartz – Rose Quartzes show themselves unconditional love, too! And when they do, they give others the ability to feel comfortable to do the same for themselves.)
And finally, when Margaret and her mother had just been through a traumatic, emotional evening and they were both utterly depleted, they sat on the couch together and they cuddled, and the only thing that Margaret’s mother said to her is this, “Isn’t it exhausting trying so hard all of the time?” And Margaret and her mother obviously felt so connected and understood in that moment, and I believe that all of us women in the theater felt so connected and understood in that moment, too. I know that my daughter and I both grabbed each other’s hands. (Remember this, Rose Quartz. Rose Quartzes don’t try. Rose Quartzes just “be.” Rose Quartzes just be what they are – a solid, beautiful, stone, calmly and easily holding the true energy of the Universe – pure, unconditional love. They glow with that energy, so that when others encounter Rose Quartzes, they too, remember to reach deep within, and to feel that same loving energy within themselves.)
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! I’m not going to be writing much today, because I am going to a matinee with my favorite daughter (yes, she’s my only daughter), doing one of my favorite things (going to the movies), and seeing a movie based on one of my favorite books of all time. (Are You There God? It’s Me,Margaret by Judy Blume) I’m so happy that they finally made a movie out of this great book. I love all things book related. Not only are books my favorite, but so are bookstores, and libraries, and those little free libraries that look like bird houses, and bookmarks and book covers . . . . . .
Today’s favorite has nothing to do with books, however. Today, my favorite is a hairspray that the kind, informed clerks recommended to me, when I was at Sally Beauty Supply the other day. (Remember, I live in humid Florida. Humidity is not kind to hairstyles.) When Sally clerks first recommended their best selling hairspray to me with the selling feature of “it works, but you can still comb through it” in my mind, I automatically turned that statement into, “Oh okay, so it doesn’t work.” But I took the professionals’ advice anyway, and it turns out, this hairspray is good stuff. It works! Professional Sebastian Shaper Plus Hairspray is the best that I’ve tried yet in my long life with my fine and stubborn hair.
Now, I’m going to go use a little bit of this liquid gold in a bottle on my hair, as I prepare to see my movie with my best girl. Have a great Friday!! See you tomorrow!!!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I read a word the other day on a sign that has become a sort of meditative mantra for me lately. The word is “Godfidence“. The word itself sounds powerful and solid and omnipotent, doesn’t it?
The hardest thing about loving your adult children is that you must love them without always loving their choices. And you have no right to circumspect their choices for them, like you could do when they were little. You just can’t pick up their arms and drag them away from trouble, like you did when they were cubs. It was so much easier to be the ferocious mama bear when all of the dangers were “out there” and the cubs quickly fell in line behind you. When your cubs are grown, what is dangerous becomes a bone of contention between you, and everyone just has to fend for their own comfort and safety. That’s when this mama bear has to remember to breathe and stay solid in her “Godfidence.”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I have a friend who is going through a really tough time. What is the most comforting thing someone has ever said to you? (Seriously, please share your answers in my Comments section, if you can.) These are the times that you really fumble for the right words. Everything seems like it is the wrong thing to say. Everything seems to come out “wrong.” I guess the constant mantra in words and deeds is, “I’m here. I care. I’m here. I care. I’m here. I care . . . . “
In happier reflections, what I DO love about having my adult children back home is witnessing their maturity. Once kids have had to do their own grocery shopping, cook their own food, do their own dishes, do their own laundry, etc. etc., it’s amazing how much quicker they are to lend a hand at home and/or to lavish some real appreciation for when these things are done for them. It feels good to see the blooms of maturity in your babies. It’s the sweetest part of the “bittersweet” ingredients of experiencing your children growing up and maturing.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I’m delayed writing this post because my daughter was telling me all about her experience last night – her first night at her new summer job at a local beach ice cream shop. It’s a busy place. Time will fly. My daughter said that what she’s most amazed about is how much work there is behind the scenes in one of these little specialty shops. Most of her work will be in the preparation, the cleaning and the stocking. Serving customers an ice cream cone is actually a small part of it all.
This reminded me of a parable I recently read. A speaker asked a group of people how much time it takes to get a cheeseburger at McDonalds. Most people answered that it takes between 3-5 minutes. The speaker reminded everyone that someone had to grow the wheat and then bake the buns, grow and cut the onions, make the ketchup from tomatoes, butcher the beef, and then form the patties. Then a truck driver had to get all of the ingredients to the local McDonalds, where workers had to put the items into the freezers and refrigerators, then cook the burgers and wrap them up, etc. etc. The point is, nothing in this world is as easy as the finished product makes it appear to us. A photograph of one happy moment in a family’s life is not even close to the entire story of events, and experiences, and ups and downs, and sacrifices, and worries and joys that make up any family. Everything in life takes longer and more effort, and more hands and hearts, all the way around, in order to create it, than we want to believe that it does. Finished products can be so deceiving. Don’t expect ease, and quick fixes for anything that is worthwhile to have in your life. Even fast food hamburgers and ice cream cones take many hands, and a lot of time and energy, in order to get you to the finished product.
When you are frustrated about something that you want to create and manifest in your own life and it is taking a lot of time and effort with no end in sight, whether it be with a job, or a relationship, or an accomplishment, remind yourself that most things don’t come easy. Ultimately though, the effort, and the discipline, the time and energy and focus, and the blood sweat and tears, is usually the part of what makes any completed end product so especially satisfying to savor and to enjoy. (Do you want whipped cream and a cherry on top? Let me go milk a cow and pick some cherries.)
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
