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Collector of Experiences

“Shlemiel!  Schlimazel!  Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!” – Laverne and Shirley

A few weeks ago, my husband and I started chanting this theme song in unison to our eldest son who had a business trip in Milwaukee.  He seemed puzzled and probably figured that his parents had finally lost it all of the way.  RIP – Penny Marshall.  I’m sad that my kids didn’t enjoy the magic of “Laverne and Shirley.”  So good!

Yesterday, my middle son and three of his friends got up in the wee hours of the morning to check out the Space X launch.  Unfortunately, all four launches ended up being postponed.  They decided not to risk it again today, but it sounds like they had a fun “road trip with the boys.”  Recently, my middle son told me that he has become a “collector of experiences.” I like that.  I think that experience is probably the best thing that you can collect in life.  You get some pretty special by-products by collecting experiences, such as learning and wisdom, empathy and a bigger view of Life.

“Our headspace dictates our perspective . . . our perspective dictates our experience . . . our experience is nothing short of life itself.” – as seen on Twitter

 

Another “No Horsepucky” Tale- Holiday Edition

A few Christmases ago, I ordered a bench for our living room, that was handmade.  It has a really cool flokati shag cover that reminded me of my favorite rug to lie on when I was a little girl.  I had actually ordered it that October, but for some reason, it was taking a long time to be made and then to be delivered, and I finally got notice that it was to arrive on Christmas Eve, via UPS.  I actually found that delivery date to be exciting and special and was eagerly awaiting its arrival.

Christmas Eve rolled around and during our festivities, I kept wondering when my bench was going to arrive.  It got later and later, and the bench wasn’t being delivered, so I checked my email for the delivery status.  The email showed that it had been delivered!  Now, we were home all morning and it’s a pretty big, heavy bench so it would not have easily been stolen off of the porch.  I was distraught.  I called the company and UPS and they put “tracers” out to see what might have happened with our package and they told us that we would likely hear something within a week or two.  I was so disappointed!!    

Now, I’m not sure if it was intuition or just my demanding, impatient side that doesn’t do well with disappointment, but I remembered that sometimes our mail delivery person sometimes transposed our address numbers with another neighbor with a similar but different number-ordered address, (who we did not know) several houses down the street.  I had to put that neighbors’ mail in their box more than a couple of times, due to the dyslexic confusion.  My husband and son, eager to get away from my welling dismay, agreed to walk down the street and to see if perhaps, that is where the bench had accidentally been delivered.

My husband and son were gone for a good 45 minutes and I was starting to get concerned.  The holiday spirit was zapping down to nothing in our house.  They weren’t answering texts and calls and I was getting ready to walk down the street to see who or what was keeping them, when all of the sudden, they opened the front door, carrying in the lovely bench!  My hunch was correct!  But here is the best part of the story . . . 

The neighbor was a new neighbor of Eastern European descent.  She was older, had just recently moved here, and she did not know too many people.  She had been thrilled when my husband and son arrived at her door, because she believed that they had been sent “specially” to her.  You see, her family heritage has a strong tradition and belief, that on Christmas Eve you cannot leave your house, until you have first, entertained a visitor and given them a gift. She had a party to get to and was patiently waiting for a “visitor” who might appear. So, not only did my son and husband come back with the beautiful bench, but my lucky son also received a bag of candy and a crisp $20 dollar bill, after a nice little visit with our sweet neighbor and some coffee and cookies.  She said that she hadn’t even looked at the box that UPS had placed by her garage earlier that day because she just assumed it was things that she had ordered for Christmas.

I’ve written before that my friend has told me that coincidence is God being anonymous.  I think that it applies here to this very true, heartwarming story that I think about, with a smile, any time that I glance at my bench.  No horse pucky here!! (please check out my other previous “no horse pucky stories”- all crazy, but true) 

The Most Important Lesson

“One of the Best and Most difficult lessons you can learn in life is that no one owes you anything and you owe yourself everything.” – FofF twitter

We have started to get close to the crescendo of the holiday season.  I see it in my family and I see it in our stores.  I see it in the local restaurants and I see it in my neighbors’ faces.  There are parties after parties, food overloads/comas, last minute stresses, shopping and shipping fiascos, final exams, and on a personal level, our family spent most of yesterday on a wild trek/scavenger hunt for the last, decent, real Christmas tree in our part of Florida.  (we found it, thank goodness!)

Over Thanksgiving, our 18-month-old Labrador dog, Ralphie, was a frenzied mess.  We had 16 people in our home and a lot of those people were teenagers who liked to swim with him, in our pool.  He was ecstatic and on total sensory overload.  At one point, someone made the comment that he was like a toddler who was beyond exhausted and just didn’t know what to do with himself.  With his long tongue sticking out, he aimlessly started pawing at everyone and everything with a wild, blank expression on his face.  I think that this is the state that a lot of us get to at some point in the holiday season, and I think that it is starting right now.  

It is at this point in the season, that it is so important to stop, pause and just breathe.  Nothing is as important as we have built up in our heads or that our stressed bodies are making it feel like.  Everything that is truly important will get done.  Everything that is meant to happen, will happen and all will be fine.  All is well. 

I love the opening quote because sometimes during the holidays, often us females particularly, try to do so much to make the holidays “perfect” with the hidden expectation that if we do everything just right, Santa or someone else is going to make the holidays “perfect” for us.  Deep down though, we know that this is not how it works.  As we are finishing up the season, we must bring the focus back to ourselves.  We must remember that no one can fill up our mind, body, spirit needs except us, and that “trifecta of filling up” is our biggest responsibility, to ourselves so that we can be there for others.  Today, we need to be honest with ourselves about what we need.  Those needs should be on the top of today’s holiday “to-do” list.  

“Slow down.  You’re too important.  Life teaches you how to live it, if you live long enough.” – Tony Bennett, on what advise he would have given to Amy Winehouse

Happy Birthday Beethoven!

Happy Birthday to Beethoven and to me! Beethoven is 248 and I am 48.  I’ve actually reached the age that when someone asks me how old I am I have to roll my eyes up into my head, think, do some math and finally come out with the right answer.  When I was a kid, I used to think that was a lot of bunk when adults did that, but I now realize that forgetting your age, really does happen.  You reach middle age and you know that you are in a certain age range, but the actual number never sticks with you.  I’m not sure it that is a sign of early dementia or subconscious rebellion/denial, but I now know that whatever causes it, it’s a real thing.  However, for today, I know that I am 48.

I guess being 48 means that I really am approaching age 50, in a very serious way.  Honestly, I really don’t mind.  My body is definitely slowing down, and that gets frustrating.  I wore some pretty high heels to the Christmas party last night and I feel like I ran a marathon in record speed this morning, my body aches so much.  Still, from a mental, emotional, and life stage point of view, I am very optimistic about my fifties.  I feel like I know myself better than I have ever known myself.  I think I approach life with more curiosity, appreciation and acceptance than I ever have before.  I no longer try to conquer and control Life.  I’m better at letting Life flow.

When I was on the brink of my forties, my whole life changed in many, major ways.  Let’s just say that my husband and I were the Poster Kids for the Recession.  Our life as we knew it, completely and irrevocably disappeared and we ended up having to move our large family to a whole new city and state, to begin again.  And, guess what?  It’s a cliche to say it, but it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to our family, on so many fronts.  I strongly believe that God/the Universe knows what it’s doing.  My faith lies in that.

Years ago, I read a very fun, upbeat book in which the author insisted that everything that happens to you, is meant to guide you to joy.  Now, I get that statement can be a tough pill to swallow, especially when you are going through one of those really rough “Why me?” times in life, but if you really look for it, there is a glimmer of goodness and transformation in every single experience.  I believe that with every fiber of my body.

I once again want to thank you for reading my blog, commenting on my blog, bolstering me and rooting for me.  You, my readers, have been a wonderful gift in my life this year.  Happy Birthday to me!  It’s going to be a great year and a great upcoming decade for all of us!! 

    

Reminder: It’s A Wonderful Life

“What I don’t like about office parties, is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller

We have my husband’s company Christmas party tonight.  I thought that the above quote was hilarious, but I have no intention of getting him fired.  We need his job.  

My husband and I watched It’s a Wonderful Life again last night.  I had so many observations this go-around, watching it.  First of all, I actually found Jimmy Stewart to be sort of handsome in the movie.  I don’t know if this is an aging thing, or what, but that surprised me.  The movie was made in 1946, the year that my parents were born.  The cars, the telephones, the clothes, the hairstyles, the manner of speaking, etc. in the movie, looked so impossibly antique, more so than ever to me!  Again, an aging thing?!?   Although It’s a Wonderful Life was a box office disappointment, it was nominated for five academy awards and it is usually in the American Film Institute’s list of top 20 American films, ever made. In 2007, it was considered the most inspirational American movie ever made.  Even with it being a black and white film and getting old enough to seemingly be from a different world, the message that the movie makes is still so resonating.  The point of It’s a Wonderful Life is that everyone matters.  Every life makes such a difference in other people’s lives, in ways that are so intricate and complicated, that without that one person’s life, everything would be different for everyone else.  Jimmy Stewart’s character is on the brink of suicide, considering himself a financial failure, yet when his guardian angel shows him how different life would have been for all of those he loves without him, he realizes the value of life in itself.  He realizes his own true value and the very significant, important, holy meaning of his own life.  By the end of the movie, he opens up his eyes to see, just how much he is loved.

“Being rich means having something money can’t buy.” – FofF

Friday Farkle

“Happiness is a day.  It’s called Friday.” – UpJourney

Ring the Bell!  An Angel has gotten its wings!!  Friday is the Angel of the Week, right?!?  Happy Friday!!!  One of my babies comes home from college today.  Yay!!  That makes it an extra special Friday!!  Life is good – especially on Fridays!  Readers, I keep it real surface-y on Fridays.  I call it “Favorite Things Friday” and I list three favorite things, websites, songs, beauty products etc. that I just love!  I encourage you to check out previous Fridays for other favorites and please also comment on your favorite things, that have helped make your life extra special.  Without further ado . . . . .

SNL Youtube “Turtleneck” skit with Dane Cook – This skit makes me laugh until I cry.  When we lived up north, I would always make my sons wear those adorable wool Christmas sweaters because they were, well, adorable.  And the boys were miserable!!  We would go to Christmas at my grandparents’ house and my grandparents liked to keep it real balmy, in their house.  Before you knew it, all three boys (daughter not born yet) would itch their sweaters right off and strip down to their undershirts, like they were auditioning for Chippendales.  Anyway, who couldn’t use a laugh at this point in the season??  Check it out. 

Cat Cosmetics Lip Gloss – Rich – Who doesn’t like rich?  Remember Catherine Hickland who played in Knight Rider?  Well, she still looks great and she has this fabulous make-up line!  I have bought this lip gloss for years.  I love the consistency and the fabulous sheen and color.  I’ve tried others and nothing compares.  I keep coming back to it.  It is sort of an iridescent, peachy, pinky shade, but there are all sorts of good shades to choose from.  Catherine also writes a fun blog and does great make-up tutorials.  Check it out.

Ghirardelli Peppermint Bark Collection – Why doesn’t Ghirardelli offer this candy crack all year long? Actually, it’s a good thing that they don’t.  I’d weigh 500 pounds and be severely malnourished.  Eating these chocolates (by the bagful) is perhaps on my list of 5 Top Holiday experiences, every year.  I try other peppermint bark, and it’s good, but nothing compares to this San Francisco sensation.  I mean, I’ll never turn down any peppermint bark, ever, but still this stuff is still the ultimate!  Check it out, but save some for me.

Okay, readers!  Give me 5 minutes to list your favorites.  A lot of us need ideas for last-minute gifts!! (I hope I’m not alone in this.)

“Shake Your Pom Poms – It’s Friday” – SoloQuotes

Holiday Hottie

Recently I read this question/answer in Quora.  The questioner asked, “What age is considered middle age?”  The best voted answer came from a writer named Rufus Evison.  He said, “It keeps changing.  The important thing is not to give up making an effort.  If you are resting on your laurels and getting fatter, that is middle age.”

The truth hurts.  Today I am making an effort.  I am going into the salon for my pre-holiday beauty refresh.  I will be there for hours and hours.  That is definitely a sign of middle age for women – the older you are, the longer you will spend in the hair salon.  We have a couple of holiday parties coming up this weekend and I am making my effort to try to look like I am just at the early stages of middle age.  I’m going to try to make the hours and hours spent in the salon today, look more like an “effortless, popped out of bed, looking this way” freshness at the parties.  Ha!

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve mentioned eating cookies and other holiday treats a lot in my blog, in recent weeks.  Ugh. It shows.  And I don’t live up north, so I can’t hide those few extra pounds in clothing layers, bulky Christmas sweaters and oversized coats.  Double ugh.  I wish that these parties were costume parties with themes like Best Jolly Santa or Fattest Frosty.

I read once that you can look completely “finished” if you just put your hair in a neat, tidy, nape pony tail, wear over-sized sunglasses and bright lipstick.  That’s been my “go-to” look lately.  That, or baseball caps, or even just my warm, fuzzy robe, have been the “holiday look” for me, so far.  I get that these are pretty weak laurels to rest on, Rufus.  So, it’s off to the salon, I go.  If I really want to look younger than middle age and look like a “holiday hottie”, I may have to stay at the salon throughout the holidays, and be ready just in time for the New Year’s Eve celebrations.  Hmmmmmm . . . . 

Frozen

“For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There’s more than enough of that in the world as it is — and people will usually just give it back anyway!” — Anne Bristow

I’m in a frozen state right now.  I’m in Florida and it is cold for Florida, but it is not frozen.  What I mean is that I’m in that state of mind, when I am so overwhelmed thinking about what needs to get done before the holidays, that I’m essentially frozen.  I am doing nothing constructive towards what really needs to be done and allowing myself to be totally sidetracked by completely inconsequential tidbits, that have absolutely nothing to do with the holidays.  I’m in a state of frozen-ness with my heart rate pumping, my mouth drying, sucking down way too much coffee and yet I can’t seem to get a game plan down and then, to take any sort of action towards that game plan.  I like to think that I’m not the only mouse getting distracted by with what to do with my cookies.  Am I right?

It’s times like these that I feel like cursing the maker of “The Elf on the Shelf.”  My teenage daughter still looks for the elf’s new location every day and doesn’t hide her disappointment when the elf remains frozen in its same spot, day after day.  Maybe our elf is comfortable where he landed.  Maybe our elf doesn’t need to be-bop all over the house, but just wants to sit in a still, holy peace during the holidays.   Maybe our elf is in the same “frozen state of mind” that I’m in.  He is getting old. 

Seriously, whoever came up with the “Elf on the Shelf” is probably now a multi-millionaire by giving the rest of us another guilt-induced chore during Christmastime.  Wow.  That’s the Christmas spirit.  Here’s my idea.  I am going to become a travel planner for elves.  Next year all of our elves are going to be away for the holidays but if you pay me $29.95, I’ll make sure that your elf sends his kids a post card from Monaco.

Okay, even reading this over, I can see that I have a bad, Grinchy attitude today.  Time to thaw my frozen state.  I don’t want to be on the naughty list.  Speaking of lists, I have a Christmas to-do list to get to, and maybe even actually cross one or two items off that list, for a little peace of mind.  I’ll get to that after I fill up my coffee cup, grab a cookie and read up on the latest news about Meghan Markle.

Llamas, Sloths and Gnomes

Every year, there seems to be a few particularly popular symbols or creatures and true to American form, we take that character and run with it.  We put it on everything from towels, to soaps, to cups, to garden accessories, to underwear.   This year I have seen a lot of llamas, sloths and those cute, little gnomes, in which the only thing that you can see is their adorable little ball of a nose, sticking out from under their pointy hats.  At Christmas time, these items seem to multiply, and usually with little holiday additions, like holly berries and some tinsel, to add to their charm.

I have not been immune to this craze.  I have a couple of sloth accessories, several llama trinkets and about 500 versions of the nose gnome.  I’ve loved gnomes since I was a kid and this particular version is extremely irresistible to me.

When my husband and I were first married, we became friends with a Swedish family, who came to America for a couple of years, on a work visa.  Our Swedish friends said that one of the things that struck them the most about America, was the overwhelming abundance of choices, when it came to just about anything.  They said that they even found toothpaste shopping to be stressful, due to the plethora of brands and flavors.

It’s easy to be a collector of just about anything in America.  There are so many options available.  I think that this is something that many of us take for granted.  Truthfully, some of us take this American perk, a little too far, thus the TV show,  Hoarders.  Every once in a while, I make myself watch that show, just to keep myself in check.  I don’t want my readers to watch that show someday and see me buried in a pile of llama, sloth and big-nosed gnome trinkets.  I want to still be able to get to my computer and to write.  Plus, I want to still have plenty of room for objects portraying the new “in” symbol of cuteness, every single year. 

That Was Fast

Today is my youngest son’s 18th birthday.  Out of my four children, I only have one baby who isn’t technically an adult.  I have three “adult children.”  I remember for years when older women would comment on my kids’ cuteness, I would politely ask them if they had children and they would say something like, “Yes . . . well I mean, they’re all grown up now.”  When you are in that younger mom stage of life, you never imagine that you’ll be that older mom stammering out an awkward answer to the question, “Do you have kids?”  Yet, now, I am that awkward older woman with four, mostly grown children.

I have even more compassion for that older mother now.  That older mother has seen a lot. She’s been through a lot of joys and sorrows, and hopes and fears.  She’s had experiences that she never imagined having,  raising those kids to adulthood.  She’s filled with pride, joy, amazement, relief, nostalgia and wonder.  She’s filled with hope, awe, curiosity and questions of what to do next. She thought that maybe when the kids were older, she wouldn’t feel so vulnerable, but she now has come to the wisdom that her heart is walking around on multiple sets of legs, and those legs are walking farther away, going on Life’s wild adventures, leaving her heart even more exposed than maybe it has ever been before.  

So now, when a sweet, beautiful, frazzled young mother politely asks me if I have children, I say, “Yes, I have four mostly grown-up children. And they are wonderful.  Enjoy and savor your babies.  They are your most amazing, miraculous co-creation with Life.”