As school approaches, and reflecting upon that fact, there are so many times I have thanked my lucky stars that my children are mostly grown and very self sufficient. I cannot fathom what it has been like to try to home school young children, while possibly holding down a job, on top of all of the worries about health concerns and what is going on with the economy right now. Raising young children is an all-encompassing, draining yet exhilarating, 24/7 gig, in good, normal, peaceful times. Raising young children during a pandemic would be enough to put anyone over-the-top. I read an article that had compiled some of the latest, funniest quotes by young parents on Twitter. Here are a few:
“I love that my 6 yr old enjoys watching Jeopardy even if she just announced she wants a Nano Knee brand knee replacement” (Molly Erdman)
“I don’t like to brag but I had 19 seconds earlier where none of my kids yelled, cried, peed on the floor or asked if we can adopt a pigeon and call it Peppa” (MumInBits)
“You think you are in charge of your house until your kid gets out of bed and you panic and hide the ice cream you are eating.” (Simon Holland)
“I’d rather hear my toddler say the F-word than “Again!” (Molly McNearney)
Still, (even though this well-kept secret, doesn’t quite dawn on you, until a few years into parenting – Nature must have designed it that way, for the sake of evolution), parenting is a LIFETIME gig. It’s like being appointed to the Supreme Court, except totally and completely without the power, the prestige, the respect nor the quiet, stately office space. So yesterday, I was having a group text meltdown, support meeting with some fellow mamas of almost grown children. We’re used to having our college kids home for a few months out of the summer, but during normal times, our almost grown children are usually busy with summer jobs at the beach, or waiting tables, and then hanging out with hoards of friends, or going to sporting events or parties and concerts and usually, those couple of months of summer, are broken up by a week or so, of a memorable, relaxing, family vacation, escaping to parts unknown for a teeny bit (just a smidge) of family togetherness. Granted, I have saved a lot of money on Uber rides lately (a charge that we have always made clear, will NEVER be questioned, by us, on the credit card statement), but the family togetherness that we all have been experiencing, since the middle of March, is A LOT. And the understandable resentment and disappointment that our almost grown children are feeling, about not getting to experience the usual, much anticipated rites of passage and coming of age experiences, tends to get directed towards the people who love them the most, and who are most concerned about their health and their safety and their futures – their parents.
Dads seem to have a magical way of rising above all of the negative vibes floating around the household (even without sports to watch on TV), but we mamas soak all of the negativity in, like miracle grow sponge creatures, and we worry and we feel sad for everyone. We worry about our spouses and their work stresses and their health and their sanity. We worry about our kids and we feel sad about everything that they are missing out on, since “normal life” went right out the window, this spring. We mamas worry about our aging relatives, our aging neighbors, and we worry about our friends and their families’ stresses. We mamas worry about our coworkers, the medical workers and grocery store personnel in our communities, and we certainly worry about our kids’ teachers. We worry and feel sad for our pets, wondering if they are soaking in all of the craziness that we are feeling. We mamas worry about the politicians, at every level, and all of the crazy, spur of the moment decisions that have to be made by these leaders – these decisions that affect almost everyone, in some way, these days. In short, our prayer boxes are stuffed. The lids won’t stay on them.
And then the resentment starts creeping in. Who in the hell is worrying about us mamas? Who is thinking about how all of this has affected our lives? Everyone in our families looks to us to reassure them, to comfort them, to be the sounding boards for them, to help them make difficult decisions about their upcoming schooling, and to help them to understand and accept the limits that should be set. Our families need us mamas to be the punching bags for all that is wrong in the world. And we can take it. Mother Nature designed it that way. We women are incredibly strong. As I stated earlier, it’s an evolution thing. That’s why it is so good for us mamas (no matter what ages our kids are) to have girlfriends to lament to, who totally and completely understand. It’s not just protesters who need A Wall of Moms to lean on. Apparently, most of the world, needs A Wall of Moms, and so do we moms. We moms need A Wall of Moms. Luckily and blessedly, we have each other to lean on, even if it is just in our minds. Being properly socially distanced, we link arms (proverbially) and we provide shoulders to each other, to lay our heads on, in order to rest. Our hearts find each other’s energy, and the wall of light and love, that this energy creates is so loving, so warm, so strong and reassuring, so knowing, so understanding, so calming, and so faithful and reliable, that we soak it all in, to sustain us, for another day of parenting in this pandemic. No matter what the ages of our kids, the subjects or sizes of our families, we women are the heart of it all, and we know it. Or maybe it’s more than that. A little humor always helps. SpacedMom on Twitter says it best:
“I’m the Krazy Glue that holds my family together.”
