More Carrots

“Whenever I get discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words of my then 3 year-old after she puked carrots all over the living room floor: “I’m gonna need more carrots.” – Jessica Valenti

Out of the mouths of babes! Our three-day weekend was taken up by a lot of our hot water pipes being replaced in our house. Today, we start interviewing drywall people. Yesterday, in a fit of frustration, I insisted that my husband and I drive around town, looking at neighborhoods that we may want to settle in, when our daughter heads to college, in about a year. I was angry at my house. I felt let down. They say that comparison is the thief of happiness, but yesterday that proved false. Kind of like “the country mouse” in the fable of “The Country Mouse and The City Mouse”, I felt a new sense of relief and appreciation and comfort, when we arrived back home, from our drive around town. Just like my body, my home may be getting a little worn down, but its bones are good, it has beautiful views of its surroundings, and it is filled with love. For now, we stay put. Maybe all that we really need to do, is to plant some carrots in our garden.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love. 

Monday – Funday

26 All Time Best Betty White Quotes & Funny Memes In Honor Of Her (98th!)  Birthday

Betty White’s 99th birthday was yesterday. Talk about a walking smile – Betty is that!! What an inspiration she is to so many people, mostly by being so alive and joyful!

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

I read a news story over the weekend about a very courageous waitress and an equally courageous little boy in Orlando, Florida. The boy was with his family in a restaurant, and the waitress noticed how frail he looked, and that he was covered in bruises. The family did not order him a meal. The waitress wrote a note on a piece of paper. “DO YOU NEED HELP?”, the paper sign read. She held it so that only the boy could see it. At first the little boy shook his head in a slight “no”, but she persisted a few more times, and he finally nodded “yes” assuredly. The waitress called the police, and it turns out that the boy and his sister were being severely abused and malnourished by their parents. The children were taken to safety, and their parents were arrested. The police officer handling the case said that this kind of bravery, shown by both the waitress and the little boy, is extremely rare. In most cases, people just look the other way. And also in most cases, people aren’t brave enough, to ask for help when they need it. This is the year to be a new kind of brave – the bravery shown by a waitress and a little boy.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love. 

Soul Sunday

The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.
– W. B. Yeats

Good morning, friends and readers. I hope that you have slept soundly and are enjoying a lovely Sunday. Here at Adulting – Second Half, Sundays are devoted to poetry. Why is poetry important? Alice Osborn says it best, I think: “Poetry is so important because it helps us understand and appreciate the world around us. Poetry’s strength lies in its ability to shed a “sideways” light on the world, so the truth sneaks up on you. No question about it. Poetry teaches us how to live.” I think that as the Yeats quote from above says, the world is full of magic things. Poetry helps us to sharpen our sensitivities to all of the magic surrounding us.

The inaugural poem this year will be written and read by a 22-year-old poet named Amanda Gorman. She is the youngest poet to ever write and recite an inaugural poem. I cannot wait to read it. This is the poem that Robert Frost recited at John F. Kennedy’s inauguration:

“The Gift Outright”

Poem recited at John F. Kennedy’s Inauguration
by Robert Frost

The land was ours before we were the land’s 
She was our land more than a hundred years 
Before we were her people. She was ours 
In Massachusetts, in Virginia, 
But we were England’s, still colonials, 
Possessing what we still were unpossessed by, 
Possessed by what we now no more possessed. 
Something we were withholding made us weak 
Until we found out that it was ourselves 
We were withholding from our land of living, 
And forthwith found salvation in surrender. 
Such as we were we gave ourselves outright 
(The deed of gift was many deeds of war) 
To the land vaguely realizing westward, 
But still unstoried, artless, unenhanced, 
Such as she was, such as she will become.

I would like to suggest that we all take some time today to play around with our own words, and to write our own inaugural poems. It would be an excellent way to express and to discharge all of the tumultuous thoughts and feelings that we may be having, about what is going on in our country, during these turbulent times. If you are so inclined, I would love to see your poems in my Comments section. You, my readers, are a blessing to me, to all of those who love you, and to yourselves, if you are doing a good job of self care. Do a good job of being the blessing that you are to the world!! Do a good job of just being “you”! That is your greatest offering to the world.

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love. 

S.O.W.

I have written about West Virginia before. West Virginia flies under the radar, and under the cloak of a lot misperception. It turns out that the West Virginia state government has done the second best job of distributing its vaccines to her people so far, with 67% of their allotted vaccines already given in shots to the arm. (North Dakota has distributed 77% of its allotted vaccine.) Apparently, West Virginia had a 65 years and older, priority policy much earlier than the federal government suggested the policy, in its guidelines for distributing the coronavirus vaccine. West Virginia gave their policy of prioritizing vaccines for their seniors, the name S.O.W. which stands for “Save Our Wisdom”. I love this.

Quotes about Elders wisdom (45 quotes)
Experience matters | Words, Elderly quote, Inspirational quotes

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love. (this will be the daily mantra of the blog, for the rest of this year.)

Om Friday

Can we get an OM YEAH? #happyfriday #om #yoga #yogafam#yogateacher  #yogaclass | Yoga quotes funny, Yoga funny, Yoga quotes

Hi friends! Happy Friday! Usually on Fridays, I list three favorite things of the material world that make life a more sensual, intensified, interesting experience, for me. Lately, though, I would be okay with less intense, less visceral, more even keel experiences, how about you? In the beginning of the year, I get into cleaning out mode, so the idea of finding more “things” to add to my life, feels exhausting and smothering.

Yesterday, I took Trip, our nine-month-old Boykin spaniel puppy to a local park to play “fetch to the death.” Okay, not really to the death, but he would have been game to try. His high intensity, disorganized, unfocused puppy energy has a tendency to start working on all of our nerves, including our two older dogs, so I thought that it would be good for him to have an outlet for everything that was stirring up his insides. It turns out that the park outing was maybe needed by me, most of all.

For a good five years in my forties, I was a regular yoga practitioner. I am not sure why I got away from it (probably my frenetic need for variety and novelty), because yoga is wonderful, for the body and for the soul. Anyway, as I was driving Trip and myself over to the park, one of my favorite yoga chants came up on the play list, and starting playing over my radio. It turned out to be the perfect background music for watching my little puppy, run for joy towards a little yellow ball, again and again, with three elegant deer munching on grass, undisturbed, in the background.

Today, I am going to share this song with you all, as my only favorite for today. Get out your best hippie chic, light up a patchouli candle and let yourself sway to this chant, for as long as you need, to remind yourself, Everything is going be alright. Love, Peace, Freedom for us all. Have a delightful, tranquil, amazing weekend.

The Friday Funny: Yoga | Ramblings of the Claury

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love. (this will be the daily mantra of the blog, for the rest of this year.)

Oh Sh*t

“Apologize when you are wrong, not when you feel insecure or embarrassed.”

I saw this quote on the internet the other day. I have touched on this subject before here at Adulting- Second Half. (when you write a blog every single day for years on end, that tends to happen. Just as my kids roll their eyes, as I repeat the “same old stories”, I see that it is happening here at the blog, too.) Still, this one bears repeating. And I won’t apologize for it.

Years ago, a friend told me that I apologize too much. She said, instead of apologizing, say, “Thank you for your patience with my repeating the same themes in my blog.” (just an example) It was advice that has stuck in my mind, for years and I try to utilize it.

When I get nervous, I repeat myself or I ask the same questions a gazillion times. Yesterday, the hot water pipes broke underneath the tile and our kitchen cabinets. Yay. About 200 times before the sun rose in the sky, I asked my husband if he was going to call a plumber. Of course, he was going to call a plumber. My husband is a responsible man, and he didn’t want this to turn into a bigger mess than it had to be, either. I know this. But unconsciously, I asked him, out loud, 200 times if he was going to call a plumber. It is my way of self-soothing. It is my way to reassure myself. The question was just a substitution for “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.”

So, when my husband (quite understandably) lost his patience with my questioning, I did not apologize. I just explained that I understand that my nervous habit would be aggravating and I will try to work on it, but he knows, after being married to me for over 26 years, that old habits die hard. And I gave him the same explanation that I explained to you about my quirky compulsion, in the paragraph above. And then I alluded to some of his quirks, that I have chosen to live with, because the overall package of him, more than makes up for, a few little annoying idiosyncrasies that are addendums to an otherwise amazing person.

I think that we will start talking to each other again tomorrow. (wink)

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love. (this will be the daily mantra of the blog, for the rest of this year.)

A Hole in the Bucket

Given recent events, the outcry to stop our nation’s division is getting louder and louder, but how can this be done? The reasons for the division, in the first place, come from such strong fundamentally different ideas about what the right solutions are, for so many facets of our society. My friend recently repeated what is often said to couples who are having marital problems. We need to stop thinking of each other as enemies, tearing each other to the bone, and instead, see each other as loving people, allied against the problems which we face. Perhaps this would be easier to do, if we contemplated and we realized how much more alike we all are, than we ever truly and deeply realize.

I recently read a parable that made so much sense to me. My regular readers know that I sometimes explain humanity with the idea that we are all branches, or leaves, or roots of the same tree. Sometimes, I make the analogy that we are all different cells of the same body. This new parable talks about the idea that we are all submerged buckets in a huge, vast, timeless, limitless ocean body of water. Our submerged buckets are all individual and different. The buckets are different sizes, and different colors, and different shapes. Some of the buckets are quite fancy and some are quite simple. Yet, each bucket is truly unique. Even the buckets that appear to be the same, the “twin buckets” so to speak, are submerged in a different part of the ocean, and so they are likely to have unique marks left on them, from a passing shell or a shark fin, that helps distinguish them from all of the the other buckets. In short, these buckets represent our own shells. Our shells are made up of our own living bodies and forms, plus our personalities and our egos. But interestingly, just as all of the submerged buckets are filled with the same ocean water, all of our submerged buckets, each contains inside of itself, the exact same “stuff” – soul, spirit, God, Awareness, consciousness, Love, Source, whatever you want to call “It” – essentially the stuff, the essence, the force, etc. that makes all living things “alive”, versus inanimate, unconscious things like our couches or shoes or bricks. Thus, as the ocean is inside and yet also, outside all of the submerged buckets in the parable, so is the very same Universe inside and yet also, outside, all of us and all living things. Keep in mind, all of the buckets are one-of-a-kind. They come in all arrays of colors and all forms. They have landed in different parts of the deep sea, and so they have had vastly different experiences. Some buckets are quite porous, almost like a thin membrane, and what is inside of the buckets, and what is all around the outside of these buckets, flows in and out of them, quite easily. These buckets might sometimes get labeled as “fragile and sensitive.” Some buckets are solid and thick and stay deeply rooted at the bottom of the ocean, surviving all sorts of deep water disturbances. These buckets might sometimes be described as “hardened and tough.” Some buckets have been really been put through all sorts of tests, attacked by sharp toothed fishes and steel propellers and pollution, and they have the scars to prove it. Perhaps these buckets sometimes get called “damaged.” Some buckets have been around quite some time, and they are covered with barnacles and sometimes are considered to be “set in their ways”, deeply rooted in the sand. Some of the buckets have gotten so old and so worn, that they have disintegrated, so that the part of the ocean which was once contained inside of them, has flowed back into the vastness of the stable ocean that has surrounded them, for all of their existence. The buckets are all just buckets. They aren’t good nor are they bad, they are just vehicles for the ocean water to flow into and to experience itself, in a distinct light. Each of the buckets was formed differently from a physical standpoint. Where each bucket has landed into this vast ocean, and what they have experienced in their individual places of landing, have helped to shape and to evolve them even more, into their own unique selves. If we can see ourselves as the submerged buckets, we know that our outer shells are just the form which we were born into, plus the experiences that we have gone through along the way, creating a recognizably unique person, and a colorful personality. Still, like the submerged buckets, we are all filled with the same “stuff”. And better yet, just as the ocean covers all of the submerged buckets, we are all surrounded by the very same powerful “stuff,” that is also contained inside of all of us. A lot of us have forgotten that fact. A lot of us think that we are just the shells of ourselves. A lot of us think that we are just the bucket part of ourselves, and that is when we lose all sense of our connectedness, with all that is. That is when we play small and get mean and greedy and defensive and fearful and angry and puffed up. Because really, what is a bucket compared to the vast ocean? A bucket by itself, is dwarfed by the ocean and lonesome on the shore. A bucket, by itself, is a fearful state to be in.

In yoga, people often greet each other with “Namaste.” Loosely, translated, it means, “The spirit in me, recognizes the spirit in you.” In other words, I can see past your bucket form, to all of the beauty and creation which is held inside of you, and which is also held inside of me. Maybe if we all work harder at seeing past the bucket walls, of anyone we meet, (understanding that their bucket covering was created out of their own experiences, which may have been vastly different experiences than our own experiences), we can get a glimpse of what really lies inside. Maybe by us trying to see the spirit inside of others, we can help them to remember that they are much, much more than an empty, decaying vessel, and in the same light, they can do the same for us. And then all of us can feel more confident, in the face of the challenges ahead of us, knowing that everything which we need, in order to prosper, individually and societally, is inside of all of us, and all around us, for all of eternity.

He fills heaven and earth as the ocean fills the bucket that is submerged in it, and as the ocean surrounds the bucket so does God in the universe He fills. “The heaven of heavens cannot contain Thee.” God is not contained: He contains.”

— Aiden Wilson Tozer

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love. (this will be the daily mantra of the blog, for the rest of this year.)

Declutter Our Minds

Are you passing on love, or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love. (this will be the daily mantra of the blog, for the rest of this year.)

“You spend most of your time inside of your head. Make it a nice place to be.”- Growth Hub

This is the time of the year, that a lot of us do some decluttering in our homes. My husband went to town on his closet the other day, and he filled up a nice, big bag for Goodwill. My closet cleaning is still at the intention stage, but it is a priority – a major one, that I plan to get to, in the coming days. My friend was asking a group of us for ideas about how to decorate her shelves, after taking all of her clutter, off of them. One member of our friend group, who has exquisite tastes, was singled out for ideas. She is a self proclaimed minimalist, but what I loved the best was her answer. My lovely friend said that you should fill your shelves with what you love, and what makes you happy, because truthfully, you are the only one who sees your shelves on a regular, daily basis.

The same sentiment certainly applies to our heads, right? We are the only ones with access to our minds. The inside of our heads is sacred space, so holy that we are the only ones privy to what goes on, inside of it. Sure, we can spill out what is churning in our brains, to other people, but oftentimes, what we spill out in our conversations, and our interactions with others, is usually just a regurgitation of everything which we have allowed into our minds.

When we get on a health kick, we become super conscious about what we are eating and drinking and consuming. We get real honest with ourselves about what is good to put into our bodies, and what about our diets, needs to be laid to waste. When we declutter our drawers and our cabinets and our shelves, we often use the Marie Kondo question, “Does this item spark joy in me?” Perhaps, we should use these same methods, when decorating the insides of our heads.

I imagine if we wanted to create a real ugly devil’s den inside of our heads, we could fill our minds with every negative news piece we could find. We could fill our minds with ruminations about everything that we don’t like about our jobs, our country, and the people who annoy us. We could fuel the raging fires with our fears, and our worries, and focus our imaginations on possible upcoming catastrophes. What would a decluttered mind look like, though? What if we took it down to the studs? What if we kept open doors on both sides of our heads, so that thoughts could come in, and just as easily pass on through, keeping our minds open and breezy and clear to views which might really resonate with us, down to the true command center of our hearts, where our precious souls reside.

The older I get, the more I see simple truths. What is good for the body and is good for the soul, is good for the mind. What is happening outside of us, is often just a projection of what is happening inside of us. We frequently forget just how much power and control we really wield, in our lives. Just as we clutter up our houses, we also have the power to clean out what no longer sparks joy. Just as we fill up our bodies with junk food, we can fill them up with wholesome nutrients, instead. Just as we can obsessively click on one negative news story, or triggering social media post after another, we can stop and we can breathe, and we can clean out what does not belong in our sacred mindspace. The irony of it all, is that we are always trying to control and fix “the outsides”, but if we control what is happening inside of us, the outsides usually look a whole lot better. When we take care of our bodies, we have more energy, and we fit into our clothes better. When we take time to really feed our souls with what feels good to us, by communing with nature and people and animals and our Source, we no longer have gaping holes that we try to fill with things that clutter up our lives, or substances that hurt our bodies. When we take the time to cleanse our minds of negative thoughts and beliefs and worries, we have more wide, open space to fill our brains with wonder and awe and amazement about all of the miracles of life surrounding us. When we stay in our own lanes, and when we focus on the only triumvirate that we do have any real control over, that being our own minds, our own bodies and our own souls, the outsides just have a way of taking care of themselves. When we have an inside sense of calm and control and order, we no longer need to concern ourselves with controlling anything outside of us. Trying to control “the outsides” was just our fruitless way of trying to get that internal sense of calm and control and order for ourselves, which has been available to us, all of the time. Ironic, right?

“Everyone wants peace, inside and outside, and we would all have it if we knew how. Now we know how. It begins with you.” – Byron Katie

“Create a friendly atmosphere on the inside and outside. Live Friendly. Be a friendly person on the inside. Have the attitude it takes to be smiling internally first.” – Jeffrey Gitomer

Soul Sunday

Hi friends. I don’t think that this past full week of the new year is what any of us were aiming for, to start the year out right. These are strange times which we are going through. However, we are not alone. We are experiencing a lot of “stuff”, together. I am grateful to commune with all of you, as we navigate another year of our lives, together. My regular readers know that I dedicate Sundays to poetry. Please share your poems (they are there, in your heart – put a pen in your hand and let them flow out. You will be pleasantly surprised – “Shakespeare’s a poet, and doesn’t know it”) in my Comments section. Today I wrote this poem (I hope that you may relate, and that you can enjoy some familiarity, with me):

It Never Fails

It never fails,

Every year I find it,

That one little relic,

of the holidays past,

That I forgot to put away.

This year it was a sparkly hand towel,

In the powder room,

Depicting a Christmas tree,

Shiny, erect, hopeful and bright.

Could it be a subconscious hint?

Much like a woman who leaves her glove,

After an enjoyable evening out,

Perhaps it’s an honest mistake,

or perhaps it’s an intuitive gesture,

From something deep inside,

Trying to connect and to keep and to hold,

The magic of the moment alive,

For the entire year to come.