Okay, this is the part where you, my dear darling readers go, “Oh crap, she’s going to get serious on a Friday post. That’s not why I came here today.” But this is important for me to say. (sorry, not sorry) This morning I woke up to the sound of texts going off. One of my friends from college let us know that the husband of one of our sorority sisters had died by suicide a few days ago. He was a well-loved, successful doctor and a dedicated family man. They were known to post many of their family thrills and adventures on Facebook. Unfortunately suicide is more common than I ever wanted to believe. In the last few years, our own family has experienced suicide with two of our extended family members. This breaks my heart to hear of yet another tragic suicide.
Do you know why I write Friday posts? I write them because they are reminders that we don’t always have to stay in the mindspace of sad and serious and overwhelment and stress all of the time. We are allowed to, and we need to feel joy in all of the little “frivolous” things that bring smiles to our faces and to our hearts. Honestly the constant flow of the small joys is what is often more fulfilling and nourishing and sustaining for us, than the every once in a while, “Great Big Exciting Thing.” It is important for us to seek out and to savor the things which give us a sense of joy, and comfort, and interest, and amazement on a daily basis.
For a time, particularly during the shutdown of the pandemic, I answered a lot of questions on Quora. A while back, one person asked me to answer this question: What makes the journey worthwhile? and I got notice this morning that someone had “upvoted” my answer today. I don’t believe in coincidences. Here is my answer.
What makes the journey worthwhile?
“What activity/talent/passion do you do, that makes time stop for you? What activity gets you so engrossed in it, that you almost have an out of body experience while doing it?
These activities make the journey worthwhile.
What experiences have you had in nature that have literally taken your breath way? What things have seen in the natural world that had you so awe-struck that you had to ask yourself, if what you were witnessing, could possibly be real?
These experiences in nature make the journey worthwhile.
Who do you love so much, that when you look into their eyes you see both a mirror of yourself and the light of their own soul, all merged together, in such a way that this intimate connection sometimes actually brings you to tears?
These intimate connections with people/pets who you love, make the journey worthwhile.
What creations have you witnessed in art form, in architectural form, in musical form, in physical form, in written form, in acting form, that are so impossibly amazing and beautiful that it makes you proud to be part of the human race, who created them?
These creations make the journey worthwhile.
What little parts of your morning or daily routines, have you excitedly waking up, looking forward to doing, for the comfort and the structure and the security that they bring to your everyday existence?
These little comforts make the journey worthwhile.
What adversities have you triumphed over, that have added a level of strength and resilience and acceptance to your character that you never thought was possible?
These adversities make the journey worthwhile.
What food have you tasted, scent have you smelled, sound that you have heard, material have you felt, visions have you seen, and intuitions have you felt, can you still conjure up in your mind, because that particular experience was truly that overwhelmingly magnificent?
Your senses and the sensual experiences of life, make the journey worthwhile.
I think honestly, the original question is rather pointless. My question for you is this:
What DOESN’T make the journey worthwhile?”
And, friends, because I don’t like to disappoint you, my favorite for today is Happiness in a bottle, literally. This is an essential oil in a tiny little bottle made by a company called Earth Luxe. Supposedly the oil is an infusion of mandarin orange, vanilla and ginger. I’ve already sprayed so much Happiness in my writing nook that I have gone through two bottles of Happiness. Don’t we all deserve Happiness??
Have a great weekend. I’ll see you tomorrow.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Hi Kelly,
Just wanted to say that what you’ve written and what you’re going through is proof that your heart can hold two opposing emotions at a time: grief/sadness and joy. I know that we need to be able to be comfortable with that. What I don’t know is how to do that very well. I think that’s a tightrope we all need to learn how to walk so we don’t end up feeling like a bag of guilt rocks for having the audacity to feel joyful when others do not.
I agree, Gail. Thank you for this thoughtful comment. I often feel caught up in unsubstantiated guilt for my own happiness. I often feel that I have to defend my happiness by reminding others of the hardships that I have experienced (like everyone else), as well as all of my blessings. My feelings of joy are hard-won. And I just wish that all others could find the highest desire and ability to win their joy, and to claim at as their own and to never let it go.
Yes!