Month: September 2023

Soul Sunday

I adore Sunday mornings. I’m starting to think that they are almost as good as Fridays, and I LOVE Fridays. Play around with poetry today. Read it, write it, live it. Poetry allows us to read and to write secret messages to ourselves. It helps us to unravel the mysteries of life, as noticed particularly and uniquely by us. Poetry is powerful. My poem for today is below one of the many definitions of poetry, found in the dictionary.

“Felt Ear”

Why have we given contented a bad name?

A soft felt ear of a dog, lying and folding so delicately

in my hand, as I peer out into the sunlit stillness,

noticing no sudden movements nor longing to be anything

or anywhere but here. When we forget to be content,

we miss all of the beauty which we are building on,

and sometimes carelessly tearing down.

Every virtue has its shadow. Desire expands, as passion pulls

us outward but contentedness gives us the centering

to pull back in to what matters most. A soft felt ear . . .

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Ford Tough

I’m a scatterbrain this morning. We have a lot going on and a lot to do. So, honestly, I just googled “What to say when you have nothing to say.” Wow. Some suggestions were really weird and embarrassing. However, I came across a wonderful technique that would work for probably any socially awkward situation. An author and marketing specialist named Melissa Jeswald says that you should always make use of the acronym FORD (this is my week for acronym tips, huh?) when making conversation with people. People love to talk about themselves so FORD gives you the format for asking about people’s Family/Occupation/Recreation/Dreams. So if you have some socializing to do this weekend, remember to use your FORD. It won’t steer you wrong or into such taboo areas such as religion, politics, or health habits.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Friday C.R.A.P.

credit: THE-KEEP-CALM-O-MATIC

Here’s a couple of really good perspectives, for going into the weekend:

“When things are at their worst, you are at your best.” – what the extraterrestrial said about us humans, after visiting Earth, in the movie Starman

“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” – Pablo Picasso

Happy Friday!! Happy Best Day of the Week!! On Fridays, I keep the deep thoughts for Jack Handey. (If you ever need a deep belly laugh for laughing at a statement that shouldn’t be funny, look up some of Jack Handey’s deep thoughts. They are hilarious and ridiculous and easily a favorite of mine, when I’m in the right snarky mood for them.) Anyway, today’s favorite is a technique I heard about in a podcast. It’s a way to get rid of your negative thoughts and worries and ruminations, devised by people who study neuroscience. It’s called the C.R.A.P. board. C.R.A.P. stands for Conflict/Resistances/Anxieties/Problems. If you write all of the situations down in your own life that would fall under any of these categories, on to a piece of paper, and then do a few relaxing things like yawning, stretching, deep breathing, while looking at your C.R.A.P. board, supposedly this tricks your brain into believing that it can stop ruminating on, and trying to fix all of your C.R.A.P. because your C.R.A.P. is “stored”, and really not such a big deal. The three minute video below by the creator of the C.R.A.P. board, Mark Waldman, goes into more detail with it. I’ve only started mine this week, so I can’t attest to how well it works, but it was a worthwhile experience for me, just to put my own C.R.A.P. into perspective. For instance, lately I have been telling myself and anyone who is willing to listen to me, just how “stuck” certain things have been in my life. Interestingly, though, when I took a relaxed, detached look at “the stuck list” which I had written on to my C.R.A.P. board, I noticed that nothing there on the list was truly stuck. Every situation on the list is progressing, just not as quickly as I deem it should be going. The experts on the podcast I was listening to, kept repeating the idea that our beliefs and our stories that we tell ourselves are just thoughts that we keep thinking repeatedly, until they become embedded as our beliefs and stories about ourselves and life in general. Making a C.R.A.P. board can help you to find and weed out some of the faulty belief systems you may have programmed into yourself with your repeated, unexamined negative thoughts.

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=10153317002418658

Get rid of your C.R.A.P. and have a great weekend, friends!! See you tomorrow!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Like Rugrats

Trip, our Boykin spaniel, is out getting groomed by our mobile pet groomer, Angelica (and she is an Angel, because Trip is probably the devil in canine form). When I first met Angelica, she said, “Hi, I’m Angelica, you know, like on Rugrats.” I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder if her mother ever thought that this is how her daughter would introduce herself when she named her beautiful baby ‘Angelica’.” But honestly, I have never forgotten Angelica’s name, and although I’m ashamed to admit it, I’m not the best with names. However, whenever Angelica’s van pulls up to my house, this is the first picture that comes to mind:

Recently I reached out to an author named Tamara. She says that she introduces herself to everyone with a Dr. Seuss-like rhyming twist, so they’ll remember her name more easily. “Hi. I’m Tam-I-Am.” (She likes to go by the nickname “Tam”.) So when I emailed her, I started with “Hi, I’m Kelly-Bo-Belly.” Seriously. But then I thought, do I really want to call attention to my belly??? Oh well, too late, this go around.

Tam-I-Am claims that she also adds, “from Maine” to her introduction of herself to other people. “Hello, I’m Tam-I-Am from Maine.” She claims this makes for a great conversation starter because people either love Maine, or they are, at the very least, extremely curious about it. This reminds me of a woman I met, whom I will forever call, “Linda From Dunedin”. We have an adorable little town near to us called “Dunedin”. It’s Scottish and extremely hard to pronounce, for any visitors who aren’t in the know. It’s not pronounced “Doon-din” or “Dun-uh-din”. The correct pronunciation is “Duh-Knee-Din” (at least around here). Anyway, I met Linda From Dunedin at a women’s group, and that’s how she introduced herself to everyone. To this day, I don’t know anyone from that group who calls her just “Linda” anymore.

How do you introduce yourself to people? What about you is unique and memorable? You are the only, one-of-a-kind you someone will ever get the privilege to meet, and if they’re really lucky, get to know. As a name remembering trick, it is a common tip to try to tie someone’s name with how they look, or where they are from, or from a character in a book or a show that reminds you of them. Angelica Like Rugrats, Tam-I-Am, and Linda From Dunedin have already done the hard part of that trick for people. They know that people will want to remember them. And people with that kind of self-confidence and panache and “Hello World! attitude” usually are the memorable, interesting people in the world who make you feel happy and lucky to have met them. And even luckier if the relationship grows.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Dessert Menu Please

The other day, my husband and I got our calendars together to try to figure out and schedule fun “empty nest” plans – events, weekends away, etc. It was then that I noticed that our weekends in September were already filled up with plans with one or more of our grown kids. (Plans our kids came up with – not us.) If you are at all worried about loneliness in your soon-to-be upcoming empty nest, don’t be. My friends and family who have grandchildren (and yes, I’m so jealous) always say that having grandchildren is THE BEST. They always say that it is like getting the “dessert” part of raising kids. It’s so sweet and delightful and fun and easy and breezy. With grandchildren, you don’t have the worries, the everyday mundane stuff, the constant responsibilities, and when you are exhausted, the grandkids go back home. Everything that happens with grandkids is easy to laugh off as adorable, lovable, and easily solvable (by somebody else). Interestingly, I’ve been noticing lately that the empty nest also seems to give you the “dessert” part of your own kids, now that they are grown adults, with their own separate lives. It’s a lot of fun. It’s easy and breezy. The worries and the mood swings and having to juggle everyone’s crazy schedules are no longer on my everyday plate. And when we all start to get on each other’s nerves, we all head back to our own homes, to make our own meals, and to do our own laundry. Once you get past the “wow, that whole raising a family bit, it really went by so fast” existential shock of it all, empty nest is truly lovely. And the hatchlings still fly by the nest for visits, here and there, and sometimes even more often than you would think. And that’s when you get to savor being with the “dessert versions” of your own children, and they, too, get to experience the sweetest part of you.

“Desserts are the fairy tales of the kitchen – a happily-ever-after to supper.” – Terri Guillemets

“Dessert is a necessity of life.” – Adrienne Posey

“Work is the meat of life, pleasure the dessert.” – B. C. Forbes

“I love dessert. I can’t be guilty about it because I have to taste everything. I experiment.” – Martha Stewart

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

How to Say I Love You

Yesterday afternoon, I lounged on my porch and I read, in between lazily throwing balls into the pool for Trip and Ralphie to continuously retrieve. (Ralphie and Trip are our true-to-their nature sporting dogs, and all the while, Josie, our true-to-her-nature herding dog, was tirelessly nipping at their heels and earnestly making sure that they got out of the pool, again and again. This morning, we have three exhausted dogs, which makes for a nice, peaceful, uninterrupted morning for this writer gal. All by design . . . ) As I was reading and pondering, something in my reading and meditating and contemplating, sparked me to write this exact text to myself:

“What do you want from this day? From this experience? From your relationships? How do you want to feel? What kinds of outcomes are you looking for? Don’t be a reactor, be a visionary.”

We so often forget that we are the creators of our living experience. The job, the relationships, where we live, how we spend our time, what we eat and drink, what we think about, what we ruminate on, our hobbies, etc. are all of our own choices. If you don’t like some of your choices, you have the ability to change them. You are the one who brought them into your life in the form which they are in, so you have the ability to choose differently. Don’t pick “the victim stance”. It limits you so much.

All of the inspirational reading and listening I have done throughout my entire life – the books, the articles, the cutesy signs, the memes, the meditations, the quotes, really all circle around to the same overall ideas: Be intentional. Be grateful. Be HERE in the present now. Make conscious choices.

And here’s a big one that I want to finish out my year reminding myself and making it a forever practice (and this is a tough one, as a mother of four adult kids who are spread all over the east coast, and as one who has aging relatives and friends, and as one who when she loves, she loves hard and full and deep with her big ol’ entire heart) Worry does not equal love. I am not loving you in the best way that I can when I am worried about you. I put fear energy all around you when I worry about you. It makes you seem small, weak, and victim-like. I am loving you best when I believe in you – when I believe in your strength, and your vision, and your abilities, and when I have faith that Something/Someone so much bigger than all of us, is in your corner, keeping you safe, helping you to carry out your living purpose, which is for the better sake of all of us on this Earth, combined.

I have noticed that when I tell people whom I care about, “I don’t worry about you” and I say it with a tone that implies, ‘I know that you are going to be fine, more than fine. You’ve got the right attitude, heart, and guides to see you through’, this firm statement makes them sit up straighter and feel more empowered and confident than almost anything else I could say to them. “I don’t worry about you,” might be one of the most beautiful variations of “I love you” that we have in our spoken/written communication. Fear is the opposite of love. Worry equals fear, not love.

Readers, continue this beautiful year of your life, living fully and intentionally. Be grateful for all that you have created and will continue to create in your one and only unique life. Finish strong. I know that you will. I love you, readers. I don’t worry about you.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

My husband and I were at a Home Depot over the weekend, and of course, the Halloween decorations were already displayed in full force. The store had a big sign by the building sized skeletons that you could only purchase ONE PER CUSTOMER. How many giant skeletons could you possibly need? And where do you store them the other 11 months out of the year? I like buying things in bulk, but I don’t like buying really bulky things in bulk.

Going into a new season, is always a particularly reflective time for me. Recently, I read an interesting story about Louise Hay, the woman who started Hay House Publishing, known for their spiritual and inspirational books. She refused to repeat sad or depressing stories. If she heard negative news, she never repeated that news to anyone. I thought that would be interesting to try myself, and so I have been more conscious about what I share. It is amazing how my impulse to share salacious, temper-inducing, “juicy”, fearsome, agonizing stories is bigger than I care to admit. I’ve failed this attempt to trim the negativity that I spread, many times already. Certainly, if there is something that can be done for the people involved in a tragedy, or a warning of something dangerous impending is helpful to others, than sharing the information is kind, and sometimes even vital. But to pass on negative news, just for the sake of spreading doom, kind of just turns you into a Debbie Downer. Debbie Downer is a bigger part of my personality than my Pollyanna half likes to admit. But my DD can be put into her place – into her own dark little corner to stew all by herself.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.” -Steven Wright

Welcome to poetry day on the blog. How is the culmination of another summer in the rearview mirror feeling to you? Write a poem about it. Poetry can be your own private language with yourself. Your soul has the decipher code.

Here is the poem I wrote for today:

“Knee Deep in Mud”

Summer sometimes feels like walking through sludge

I want to fly but the air’s too heavy

And so I make imperceptible moves

Hoping that I am headed somewhere

Other than where I am stuck in the mud.

But then I get a gust of momentum

And I look back and I realized I have come further

Than I realized. There must have been mud in my eye.

Or a cloud over my spirit. Because there’s a trail of footprints,

I have left behind me. And the visions that lie ahead,

Are getting larger and clearer and more distinct every day.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

National Songs

“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane” – Jimmy Buffett

RIP – Jimmy

What a legend! What a way to show the world that a man can live a fabulous life completely and fully on his own terms. It is rare to have someone famous and recognizable and universally likable enough, that when they pass, almost everyone in the country takes a pause and notes the sad loss. Usually when one of the icons of my husband’s and my growing up years, dies, my kids say, “Who?!” This morning two of my sons have already texted about the loss (9:30 on a Saturday morning during a holiday weekend, and our sons are in their twenties – that says something).

When we have been socializing with and around, or having dinner with people from other countries, inevitably, at some point of the night, the people from one particular country all start loudly singing songs, all together, happily, arm-in-arm. They all know the words and they love to sing them. It’s a huge part of European and South American culture that I have experienced first hand. And it has always made me extremely envious. When I heard the news this morning about Jimmy Buffett’s passing, I thought to myself, if we did have a universal, national, party song the closest thing to it would have to be Margaritaville. Who doesn’t sing along to this song?

“Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been” – Jimmy Buffett

“Life is just a tire swing” – Jimmy Buffett

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Somebunny’s Friday

Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit. Happy Friday!! Happy Labor Day Weekend!! Welcome to the best day of the week!! Fridays on the blog are devoted to my Favorite Things! I’m not too much in my head on Fridays. On Fridays, I’m a lighthearted, material girl. As I was walking past this little antique desk we have in a little alcove in our home this morning, I remembered to change the beautiful, cardstock, glittery desk calendar to “September”, on its easel. I’m an old fashioned gal. I like clocks and calendars everywhere. (I like my reminders of time in the tactile form – the prettier the better.) Anyway, the calendar had a reminder page for me to order my 2024 set. And so I just did. I just love these calendars. It’s always a lovely surprise to view what artwork was created to highlight each month, all painted with a light touch of glitter. The last two years I have purchased my refills from Stevie Streck. In years past, I have bought them from the equally lovely Karen Adams. (Both can be purchased on Amazon) I also noticed that you can get a personalized pet version from Stacy Claire Boyd. Be true to the little things that make you happy, friends!! Add a touch of beauty to your desk and get a monthly surprise of delight, when you change to each new month. Blessings to all of us this September!!! See you tomorrow.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.