Today is a good day to give yourself what you need. Instead of being frustrated with others and their lack of fulfilling your needs, step into your power and give it to yourself. Talk to yourself about what your needs are (be the best listener and “hearer” that you have ever had in your life, for yourself), and what feels lacking in your life right now, and ask yourself, calmly but firmly, to find ways to fulfill your own needs. The direct route to anything whether it be a road, or communication, is usually the healthiest, easiest, and fastest way to get to the point of destination, where you are wanting to arrive.
Don’t expect others to fulfill your needs. Make the decision to be the best life manager you have ever been since you took on this role when you were born. Show yourself appreciation. Place boundaries where needed. Give yourself good nourishment, some solitude, some playtime, and sound rest. Be really honest with yourself about what you need, and be really honest with yourself if you have been indirectly trying to get others to fulfill your needs, and then feel resentful when they don’t. There is no better way to get respect from others than giving it to yourself first.
And remember, also, that it is not your job to fulfill other adults’ needs. If they directly ask for help, you can decide whether you have the current capacity to be of service, and then you can choose to do so, willingly and happily. You also have the right and the ability to say, “No.” You are not the only source to fulfill someone else’s various needs. Their source (just like yours) is bubbling inside of them.
(Most of my blog posts that read like the one above, are reminders and lectures that I give to myself. If you need this lecture, too, then I am happy that it helps more than me. If it doesn’t apply, than please just smile to yourself, and think, “Wow, that lady is one hot mess!” and feel smug that you are a little further along on the direct route of your own path in life, and carry on to have a wonderful day.)
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Your post today is spot on, thank you! I needed the lecture too and always enjoy your posts. ❤️
Thank you, Vicki. <3
Kelly,
I’m finding out the hard way, that I impose a lot of MY expectations and ways of being & doing on others. It is causing me much stress from over-thinking and over-doing.
I need to put ME first. I often think about many others who put themselves first, and then I try to compensate for their ‘not doing’ whatever. I think of them as selfish and self-absorbed….however, I am learning, they are looking our for themselves & putting themselves first. A way of life I am not accustom to.
I really need to change this.
Thank you for this thought-provoking reminder.
Make everything that you choose to do for others, your own choice for you, Joan. You are not the only source for meeting everyone’s needs. Everyone’s Source is within them.