October 2021 - Page 2 of 3 - Adulting: Second- Half

Cute Baby and Wise Words

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

These are the tweets that spoke to me today (the adorable baby Starbucks is easily my favorite, how do I order one???):

(Credit: @ClaudetteGGibs1 – Twitter)

“Your essence is never gone, regardless of how many times the world breaks you. It’s what distinguishes you from the rest. That foundation will always bring you back to life. Every single time.” – @TheDragonflySky – Twitter

“You are driving on your own journey, which is the challenge for a comedian. You have a hard time making trains because you don’t want to be with the crowd. You are a lone voice of insight, humor and grace. The train people reflect a cacophony of chaos, noise, and unoriginality.” – @davidkrell – Twitter (addressing the brilliant comedian, Erica Rhodes)

” . . . You have to be strong here, you need yourself more than ever now. Don’t get down on yourself, don’t be hard on yourself. This is a hard time in your life right now and we have to figure out a way to get through this. Feel free to reach out. I can’t do much, but I do understand. Sorry this is happening to my friend. WE will find a way to get through this.” – Statechain1, r/Epilepsy

Yesterday, I had to tell my fifth-grade mentee that we would have to meet online again for a while via Zoom, until we can straighten out my son’s epilepsy medications. My husband was working from home yesterday, while I met with my mentee, but he does need to go back to his office, so I will need to be home with my son, for safety reasons right now. My mentee and I met online all of 2020, so we were thrilled to be back “in person” with each other this year. My mentee was understanding of my situation, of course, but she was also understandably sad. We both were sad. It was interesting to me that after we talked about the change, my mentee didn’t stay in her seat. She got up and wiggled around a lot. She distracted herself with bouncing her stress ball and she crawled around on the floor looking for crumbs which we may have dropped. It struck me that her little kid body, knew to keep moving. Sadness can really bring us to a stand still. The wisdom of her body, told her to get back up on her feet and to keep moving. Keep moving . . . . Keep moving. Just keep moving.

Trapped

We were at the hospital all yesterday afternoon. Again. My son sprained his shoulder while having another seizure. My regular readers know that my youngest son has epilepsy. And currently his seizures are not being controlled by medicine. My son is totally drained. My husband is totally drained. I am totally drained. I know that things could be worse. I know that there are many others who have it a lot worse, even with epilepsy. I know that I have been blessed in so many other ways, but right now I am honestly too numb to care. I am thankful that my son is alive. I am thankful that we have more medicines to try, and more medicine combinations to try, and more doctors and specialists to see. I am thankful that we have the means to pay for these opportunities. When there is life, there is always hope. But right now, I am totally drained. It is exhausting to even type this blog post. I believe that the storms always pass in life, but right now my family is stuck in a standstill doozy of a non-moving hurricane. And I am totally drained.

A Little Bit Psycho

Surround yourself with people who pray for you behind your back .. those are your people, those are your tribe

@TammyAIDip, Twitter

I feel your prayers, my friends. Thank you. Working through the trauma that comes with my youngest son’s epilepsy is a process, but the process feels lighter with the loving and kind energy of prayer and well wishes, moving through it. Again, thank you. I treasure you, my tribe.

“I always like for other kids to know that my kids’ mom is a little bit psycho.” – @emily_tweets, Twitter

I love this tweet. All of my children and their friends know that I have my quirks, and that I usually proudly own my quirks. I think that it is my middle son (the matter-of-factual medical school student) who would most deeply relate to this tweet shown above.

My middle son is reserved. His teachers used to love to accuse him of being shy, but that’s not honestly the case. There is a big difference. My middle son is confident, he just doesn’t care for spectacles. My middle son has a stealth self-containment. In the midst of chaos, he isn’t chaotic, but it turns out that he is often that sneaky instigator of the tumultuous happenings all around him. You know the type.

When my middle son was in elementary school, parents took turns organizing surprise “Fun Friday” activities for his kindergarten class. Now my regular readers know that I love Fridays. Fridays put me in almost a holiday kind of spirit. I get giddy, sometimes even ecstatic, on Fridays. And my closest friends and my family know that, unlike my middle son, I’m not particularly reserved. So on my turn of heading up a Fun Friday for my son’s class, I decided to go all out.

My middle son is an automobile enthusiast. He’s going to be that guy whose garage will always be more pristine, and probably larger than his house. He has loved cars since he could steadily hold one or two brightly colored Matchbox race cars, in his precious little chubby baby fist. He can name the make and model (and probably even the year) of any car he sees, like he is a walking Blue Book. So it was inevitable. I decided that I would go all out with “the car theme” for Fun Friday.

We were living in Charlotte, NC, at the time, and we had friends who worked at NASCAR, so I asked to borrow a racer’s suit. I also borrowed another friend’s motorcycle helmet. That Fun Friday, I proudly promenaded down the hall of the elementary school, donning my race gear, like I was a model on a catwalk. I had bags full of activities and stuff, all related to cars, that we were going to enjoy in his kindergarten class’ Fun Friday. And I, on that particular Friday, wasn’t just wearing a race car suit . . . . I was a race car driver, and a good one. On that day, me and Jesus, had the wheel.

I confidently opened the door of his classroom, where the children were sitting on the floor with each other working on a math activity. I stood in the doorway, hands on my hips, and then I whipped off my heavy helmet with panache. I smiled broadly (and probably in my son’s mind, a tad fanatically), as I eyed him, wondering, with glee, what he thought of my surprise entrance.

My middle son looked at me, eyes widened, and he gasped in horror. He turned to his friend sitting next to him, and in a loud whisper aimed towards his friend’s ear (and anyone else in close proximity), my son firmly pronounced, “Yeah, don’t mind her. She’s a little kooky!”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday Fun-Day

It’s been nice and cool here the last couple of days. (70s is cold weather here) I’m loving it. The sun is smiling sweetly on us, instead of scorching us with the deathrays of Florida summers. It’s honestly like a switch has been flipped. I want to put a proverbial piece of masking tape over that switch with “Do Not Touch” sharpied on the tape. I am feeling hopeful this Monday. I wish the same for you.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Good morning. Sundays are usually quiet and lovely and this one is no exception. I hope that this post finds you well and content. Sundays are devoted to poetry on the blog. On Sundays, I share a poem that I have written or a poem that someone else has written, which has moved me in some way. Write a poem today, even if it is something you choose to just share with yourself. Most of us write to ourselves anyway, even in published form. I started to write a poem, but I’m not strong enough to be vulnerable right now. My raw little mollusc self, feels more comfortable in her shell today. So here is a lovely poem from the great poet Rumi. You can never go wrong with Rumi:

Rumi - The Guest House | Inspirational words, Rumi quotes soul, Wisdom quotes

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Wicked, the Following Year

Hilda: Well, here we are again. Two snowbirds in Florida, baking in the sun. I see you joined me in gaining some pandemic pounds, Zelda.

Zelda: Oh Hildy, focus on the positive. Our spray tans are divine!

Hilda: Well, I’m thinking of getting a little work done, ya know? A little carving out, here and there.

Zelda: Oh Hilda, you are hauntingly lovely, just the way you are . . . by the way, did I tell you I got a Zoomsla, ya know, an electric broom. In ten Halloweens, we are all going to be flying electric. And all of my new potions are gluten and cruelty free.

Hilda: Cruelty free?!? What’s the fun in being a witch, then?!?

Zelda: Hilda, what do you call witches, like us, who live at the beach?

Hilda: Groan.

Zelda: Sand-witches! (Cackle! Cackle! Cackle!)

Hilda: Zelda, don’t make me fly off the handle with your stupid jokes. You drive me batty!

Zelda: Honestly, Hilda, I wouldn’t know the difference. You have the same expression all of the time: Resting Witch Face.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Carpe Friday

Hi friends and readers! On Fridays, I try to keep things surfacey on the blog. On Fridays, I list three favorite things, or songs, or books, or shows, etc. that make life something to be curious about. I call it Favorite Things Friday. (Fridays will always be one of my favorite “things”.) Please check out previous Friday posts, for more favorites and please add some of your own favorites to my Comments section.

Here are my favorites for today:

ME Medichoice Antiperspirant – I was given this antiperspirant at one of my hospital stays with my son last month. (see, even the worst circumstances can bear small gifts) Anyway, this is some of the best working antiperspirant I have ever used. I noticed that you can buy it on Amazon in bulk and it is relatively inexpensive, too. If you are like me and you have to switch up your underarm protection frequently, try this stuff out! You won’t be disappointed.

MAID – I just binge-watched this series on Netflix in the span of about 2 and half days. (It’s that good!) The series is based on a best-selling memoir of a poverty-stricken single mother, named Stephanie Land, who worked as a maid for six years while eventually earning a college degree. MAID was an eye-opening, heart-wrenching experience, and the acting is superb. Andie MacDowell plays the mother to her real-life daughter, in the series. She is a tremendous actress. This series has many timely themes for today’s world and it will give you lots of food for thought. (which is honestly, my favorite kind of food, although truthfully some of it was hard to swallow)

NspiredMpressions (Etsy) – I recently perused a local craft show and I purchased some amazing block printed, embossed and etched bookmarks from the artist who owns this Etsy store, Judy Bales. Judy is a print maker, who is quite talented and passionate about her work. I don’t see bookmarks available at her Etsy shop right now, but I imagine if you messaged her, she would be able to show you what all she has available to purchase. Here is a picture of my lovely purchases:

I hope that you have a lovely weekend! See you tomorrow!

“After living in poverty for the previous decade, struggling to pay bills by cleaning poop off toilets, it jarred me to be treated as an equal by people who previously could have been my clients” – Stephanie Land

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Overflow

My Bucket is Overflowing! | Peel The Onion

We have a rain barrel that sits solidly underneath a corner of where our roof comes together, creating a small waterfall. During the rainy season, especially, we have to release the plug on it, or else the rain barrel often overflows to the point that I wonder if the poor thing is likely to burst and to break. The rain barrel needs a constant release, in order for it to do its intended job. When the rain barrel is full with stagnant water, it isn’t helping anything. The heavy, full rain barrel starts sinking into the earth, making it impossible to move and it attracts biting mosquitoes and other poisonous pests. In reality, the rain barrel can’t possibly hold it all in. When the rain barrel is full, it just cannot take one more drop of water in. It’s too much to expect of it, to do so.

Sometimes I think that it would be more appropriate to keep the plug of the rain barrel open at all times, so that even on the days in which the rain barrel is overwhelmed by a cascade of water from a big, torrential storm, the rain water can flow through it, and soften and dissipate into the packed Earth below and also evaporate into the ocean of air surrounding it. And when the rain barrel has a big release of what it is holding in, that often turns out to be the best thing for the plants and the shrubs surrounding it. The green life takes the rain barrel’s tears, and they transform them into nurturance for their own growth. And what is really grand, is that after this cycle happens, many times, one can see a beautiful rainbow, right by the rain barrel. This is a frequent experience, because the sunshine always, always comes back. The sunshine dries the rain barrel inside and out. In their own ways and in their own time, both the sunshine and the rain cleanse the rain barrel, so that the rain barrel is always freshly ready and prepared and open, for what it was made to do.

“Allow the power to flow through you. Don’t try to capture it. You wish only to borrow it.” – G.G. Collins

“What comes out of you, doesn’t make you sick; what stays in there does.” – Edith Eger

Quotes about Emotional release (32 quotes)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Charlie and Milo

This is a picture of Charlie and Milo, twins with Down Syndrome, who are viral on TikTok. This picture gave to me my first, biggest smile of the day. In my experience, people who have Down Syndrome have that ability to make others smile. It seems like the extra chromosome that comes with Down Syndrome, also includes an extra dose of pure joy and happiness. Many, many years ago, I sold college textbooks for a living. One of my professors told me the story about how upset his family was when they learned that their fifth and youngest child had Down Syndrome. At the time, he said, the whole family believed that having a Down Syndrome child was the worst thing that had ever happened to their family. But, as the professor regaled me with many love-filled stories about his family’s adventures with his wonderful youngest son, and the close relationship which the two of them shared, the professor told me emphatically, that their Down Syndrome son was the BEST thing that ever “happened” to his family. (It’s funny how these are the kinds of stories which you never forget in your life. I forget a lot of stuff these days, but stories like these, I never, ever forget.) Here are some facts about Down Syndrome, taking verbatim from DoSomething.org:

Down syndrome (DS) is a genetic condition where a person is born with an extra copy of chromosome 21. This additional genetic material changes the course of development and causes the characteristics we have associated with Down Syndrome.^[1]

The exact cause of the extra chromosome that triggers Down syndrome is unknown.^[2]

One in every 691 babies in the U.S. is born with Down syndrome, making it the most common chromosomal condition.^[3]

There are more than 400,000 people living with Down syndrome in the U.S.^[4]

In 1983, the average life expectancy of a person with Down syndrome was a mere 25-years-old. Today, it’s 60.^[5]

Children and adults with Down syndrome share some common features, but naturally the individuals will more closely resemble their immediate family members.^[6]

Since the 1970s, public schools are required by law to provide a free and appropriate education to children with Down syndrome.^[7]

The likelihood of giving birth to a child with Down syndrome increases with maternal age, however, 80% of babies with Down syndrome are born to women under 35 years of age because this age group gives birth most frequently.^[9]

Roughly 25% of families in the U.S. are affected by Down syndrome.^[10]

While behavior, mental ability, and physical development varies from person to person, many individuals with Down syndrome grow up to hold jobs, live independently, and enjoy normal recreational activities.^[11]

Let’s be like Charlie and Milo today and let our inner joy take the lead with whatever we are doing. Who’s to say that people with Down Syndrome aren’t the wisest people on Earth? What’s wiser than to live in every moment with pure, unadulterated jubilation???

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Broken People

My son and I watched The Guilty with Jake Gyllenhaal the other day. It was a really good movie, underrated in my opinion. I won’t give any spoilers other than one line that really stuck out to me from the movie: “Broken people fix broken people.”

Don’t ever think that you don’t have something to give, because you have problems. Everyone has problems. Showing that you have overcome your problems (or at least, earnestly and honestly working on overcoming your problems) is more helpful to anybody, than pretending that you never had any problems to begin with. (You are only fooling yourself in that regard – people see through “fake” and “social media filtering” quite easily. People aren’t dumb.)

Some of the best friends whom I have ever made in my life, I met in a support group. We spent a lot of time crying together in a circle, passing around the Kleenex, before we made it to the part where we go out to eat and laugh our heads off together, on a frequent basis. These people help me like no others, because they “get it.” All masks are off. We have helped each other on a path of growing and healing and expanding, because the level of empathy and authenticity and our ability to sit with the truth is unmatched. These relationships have made me somewhat intolerant to “superficial.” I don’t have the patience anymore for “pretend.” Real is where it’s at, and the only way I want to be for the rest of my life.

Notice that when people go through the unimaginable, such as what Gabby Petito’s family is going through with the murder of their daughter, they do things such as immediately set up a foundation to help other families to find their missing loved ones. Helping others through what you have been through is cathartic for all parties involved. No one wants to think that the pain that they endure, is in vain. Pain can always be alchemized for some good.

Instead of avoiding your pain and pretending that it doesn’t exist, work through it. Even when you do this, don’t pretend that you have all of the answers. You don’t. Every time when I smugly think that I am now in the phase of my life in which I fully “get it”, as if I am some kind of saint or yogi or something, I’m whammied and humbled. Hard. But with the help of others who have walked a similar path before me, I get back up on my feet, and I try again, and I hope that it is this “getting back up on my feet”, which is what truly helps people, not just myself. I hope that others who are experiencing some of the upsets which I experience, can be inspired and feel hopeful by my path of trying. I hope that however shaky and raw my hands are at times, they are always available to help lift someone else up on this path which we call Life. We are all in this together. You and I are never alone. Broken can be healed.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.