Month: April 2021

Sweet Friday O’Mine

Hi friends! I am exhausted. This has been a big week in the life of our family, and we have a big weekend ahead of us. Still, I am feeling good. I am feeling a whole lot of pride, and also some comforting relief that everything came together without too many hitches. For my new readers, Fridays are devoted to favorites. On Fridays, aka “Favorite Things Friday“, I list three favorite things or songs or books or websites or apps, etc. that have really added to the surface-y, fun experience of my life. I strongly encourage you to add your favorites to my Comments section. Here are my favorites for this week:

Trader Joe’s Chicken Shawarma Thighs – I mentioned that recently we had gone to a Trader Joe’s after a long hiatus. I found a little bit of heaven in this package of deliciously marinated chicken. The Chicken Shawarma thighs will become a new staple of mine as soon as all of the rumors really become true, and we actually get a Trader Joe’s built closer to us, in the supposedly near future. What does Shawarma taste like? It tastes like chicken. (because it is chicken) No really, it tastes like chicken on explosive, spice, taste steroids (and I mean that in a truly positive sense). Just yummy!

Vitamin Water Zero Sugar Ice Cool Blueberry Lavender – I LOVE vitamin water. It tricks me into drinking a lot of “water”. This particular flavor of Vitamin Water is supposed to give you a hint of “chill”. With iron, a bunch of Vitamin Bs, plus some l-theanine and chamomile, this water is supposed to help you to keep healthy and calm, and it only costs you 10 calories. While all of that nutrition, sure is great, I only learned these facts recently, when I finally read the bottle. I’ve been drinking Vitamin Water Zero Sugar Ice Cool Blueberry Lavender for a while, mostly because it is just so damn tasty and refreshing! Drink and chill out.

Guns N’ Roses – Sweet Child O’ Mine – This is a forever favorite jam of mine. My husband and I belted out this badass ballad yesterday, as we were driving home from a few days of driving all over our beautiful state of Florida. This is a great classic, and an energizing song to bring in any adventure filled weekend. If you haven’t heard it in a while, play it now. You will start head bangin’. And it will feel awesome! Bring back Hair Bands!!!!! Love you, my fellow Eighties kids!! Where do we go now????

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

The Funny Thing About Life

Life is funny. Life gets really interesting when you start to dig deep. Life is truly at its best, when you are willing to scratch beneath the surface and to truly experience it, at its most authentic, interesting fullness. Life gets really real, when you let yourself deep dive into your feelings. This past 24 hours I have gotten to know, and to love, people who I have known since I was a child, even better than ever. This past 24 hours, I have made new and fast and devoted friends with people whom I had once kept at a cautious and competitive distance. This past 24 hours I have grown an even more massive respect for my child’s coach, only because his pure humility never allowed him to share, with any of us, his true and poignant story of hope and triumph, until I pretentiously pried it out of him. This past 24 hours I have prepared myself (as much as I can) for the upcoming ceremony that says to me, and to the world, that another child of mine, is striding into his adult life, with me being relegated as a supportive and loving witness and cheerleader. In these past 24 hours, I let myself fall into a pure and open and intricate and trusting and total experience of staying in the present. It feels like I may have dropped another layer – a layer that I had once created with the thought that it was there to protect me, but instead was only working as a hazy muffler, to the purest sounds and vibrations of a life lived fully, and intensely connected to the moment. This last 24 hours was so amazingly good, even though everything didn’t always adhere to my “shoulds” and to my hopeful expectations and to my plans. Life is funny. Life gets really interesting when you just let it happen. Life is good. Life knows the way.

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“What day is it?” asked Pooh.
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh.”
― A.A. Milne

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Go Mom!

I am writing this on the pre-night of a serious competitive sporting event for my only daughter. I have a love/hate relationship with these kinds of events. Why do I have this twisted relationship with my kids’ sporting events, you ask? First of all, I personally stink at all activities that require any kind of coordination, so I have so much pride in having remarkably athletic children (that’s the love part), and secondly, I detest the person whom I become at these venues (that’s the hate part). “Sports Mom” is not a good look on me. And I detest all of the other parents at these affairs, because their behavior amplified, makes me reflect on the worst part of my own self. “Sports Mom Multiplied” is not a good look on any of us. The kids, on the other hand, are great. They are fun. They roll with the “ups and downs”, and they just enjoy the actions of doing their sport. However, usually, the rest of us “adults” decide that these events are for us to showcase our worst possible demons and traits, and to make the deeply flawed mistake of trying to live vicariously through our children. Today, I will do my best to “cheer quietly from my heart”, as my daughter, directly and enthusiastically requested from me. Today, I will try to keep things in perspective, and I will try to keep my ego in check. This will be a much more challenging task, than trying to physically win a States championship, or anything like that. I hope to prevail. My daughter hopes that I prevail, too. She’s rooting for me.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Drag Queens

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

My family has a lot going on this week, and all of it is colored with intensity, and excitement, and a whirling mix of emotion and nostalgia, and also with a smidge of worry and concern. I am feeling a little bit overwhelmed. So, what I do on times like these? I lean on my friends to indulge my idiosyncrasies. I lean on my friends. My friends know me and they get me. Last night, right at dinner time, I texted some of my closest friends this meme:

“Your Drag Queen name is your Grandmother’s first name and the last dessert/sweet you ate. Go.”

Answers:

Dorothy Cookie. Marietta Glazed Popcorn. Mariam Coconut Macadamia Cookie. Lessie Krispie Treat. Florence Jellybean. Mary Kisses. (suddenly interspersed with, “Honey, are you okay?”) Brigitte Pistachio Frozen Yogurt. (“Honey, when’s the graduation?”) Ethel Brownie. Mildred Milkyway. (“Wow friend, this is way too much at once.’) Cecilia Carrot Cake. Anna Rainbow Cookie. (“Good luck, friend, enjoy. One day at a time.”) Martha Strawberry Cake. (“Hang in there, girl.”) Jessie Chocolate Chips. Nina Fruit Snacks. Sarah Super Sour Scandinavian Swimmers. (“Best wishes, friend, I know that you will handle it all with grace.”) Geraldine Cheesecake.

I love my friends. When I try to play everything off as easy, and funny, and silly, because I am always trying to prove that I am just so damn “upbeat, clever and chill”, my friends play along, and yet at the same time, they hold me, and they love me, and they know me, and they hug me from afar. And they are with me. And then, I suddenly know that everything is going to be okay, mostly because I’ve got all of my girls in my back pocket. I know that the next time a “crisis” comes along, and I end up adeptly choosing to handle the situation, by astutely asking my dearest friends some off-the-wall, stupid, meaningless questions, they will answer me, as if it is a major priority in their lives. And they will laugh at my responses. And I will laugh at, and I will appreciate their responses. And all at the same time, my friends will shroud me in their love. And they will comfort me, and they will make me feel like I can handle anything. Treasure your truest friends, ladies, because they are your treasure. They’ll get you through it all, like no others can. I love you, my friends. You know who you are. Thank you for indulging me. Thank you for making me feel important enough to answer my “drag queen name request” at the most inconvenient of times, and at the same time, being so intuitively able to read between the lines. That’s love, my friends, and I feel it.

Time and Good Friends - Live Life Happy | Friends quotes, Friendship quotes, Life quotes
The best 20 quotes about friendship | SayingImages.com

Monday Fun-Day

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I love this story! I love uplifting stories. Recently, a friend of mine offered up a helpful tool to use when you are at a major crossroads point in your life. She said to ask yourself, “What story do I want to tell?” This question is a great question to wake you up, out of your immediate emotional knee-jerk reactions. This question forces you to consider the long-term ramifications of your actions, on you, on your life, and on the effects your actions have on other important people in your life. You are writing the story of your life, friends. What story do you want to tell?

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Soul Sunday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Good morning, soul mates. I hope today finds you in a peaceful, tranquil place. My regular readers know that Sundays are devoted to poetry here at Adulting – Second Half. On Sundays, I either write a poem or I share a poem which has moved me. Poetry comes not from your head, but from your heart. Sure your mind can help with the rhyming and the creative twists and the remembering of obscure and interesting words, but the reason why we often get a lump in our throats when we read a poem, is because our heart is touched by the emotion that brought the words into being. Write a poem today, friends. It will help you to hear your heart.

I am embarking on a big, busy, fun, exciting, but emotional week in the life of our family. Another one of my children will be graduating from college, among other exciting and nerve-wracking events. As I reflect on this fact, swirling with the 500,000 different emotions this type of event brings to the surface, I’ve been meditating a lot on the idea of letting go. Sometimes it feels like the whole purpose of living a human life, is to learn the lesson of letting go. This poem, written by another poet, says it well, I think (I feel):

If you cannot be a poet, be the poem. | Pretty words, Eh poems, Words quotes

Get Out of the Way

I love this video! Imagine loving to eat anything that much. Did you run that fast to the coffee maker this morning? I came close. Who knew that meal worms could be that motivating? What’s your meal worm? What motivates you so much that a whole flock of showy flamingoes would knowingly step out of your way, as you zoom towards your prize? Knowing your motivators is a superpower. Knowing what motivates you, is what will help you to propel towards your goals. Usually we have at least a vague sense of our goals, but a lot of times we don’t reach our goals because we go at them the wrong way. We don’t take steps that motivate us, and we lose interest quickly. A great way to figure out what motivates you is to think of times that you felt the most proud of yourself, and/or the most fulfilled in your life. List those times. Look for commonalities. Things that compel you to take action, are things that motivate you. You are motivated to take action towards the things in life that you are doing or would do for free (even if you are paid to do it).

Another trick to figure out what motivates you is noticing what you think about when you wake up every morning. What excites you about your day? What are you eager to get to? What do you find yourself talking about frequently? These things are your interests and your passions. These things are the rewards that will motivate you to take action. Perhaps honestly reflecting on your passions and motivators, may help you to shape, and even to reshape your goals in life. Remember, Fabio loves mealworms. I don’t love mealworms. They aren’t my motivator. Mealworms are kind of gross to me, actually. I’m betting that you don’t love mealworms either. They aren’t your motivator, at all. And that’s okay. Variety is the spice of life.

I love writing this daily blog. I don’t get paid to do it, but I would be so lost without it. I think about writing first thing when I get up in the morning. I think about my blog throughout my day. I think about things to write about in the shower, and when I am getting ready, and when I am walking around, doing my chores, etc. I question every event in my life, with the frame of: Would this be a good topic to write about? Quite possibly I would actually do the Fabio speed-paddle to my computer every morning, if I had to, just to fire up WordPress. Writing is one of my mealworms. It’s a delicious, juicy, nourishing, personal made-for-me mealworm, that I would have a hard time living without.

A friend of ours is going to be retiring in the next year or so. Interestingly, some of the things that he wants to do in retirement, are a few nights a month of bartending, and also, being a tour guide in a local aerospace museum. I thought to myself, “Wow, our friend is a very social guy. He obviously likes the idea of being with big crowds of strangers. He probably likes the idea of meeting new and different people all of the time. These are the types of activities that excite him and energize him. Being in social situations and crowds is a huge motivator to him, obviously.” Now, neither of those activities appeal to me at all, but it delights me that our friend knows himself, and he knows what he wants to do. I find other people exploring, and then knowing, and then doing their own unique passions, so inspiring and interesting. I don’t want Fabio’s mealworms, but I am vicariously thrilled with his passion for his mealworms. What are your mealworms? It’s a great thing to meditate on this weekend. You might surprise yourself. Feel free to share your mealworms in my Comments section. It might inspire a few of us flamingoes to try something new. It might remind us flamingoes, that we can fly.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Friday, you look Great!

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Good morning friends! Today is my favorite day of the week and typically on “Favorite Things Friday” I list three favorite things or songs or books or movies, etc. that make the tactile world we live in, so much fun. My process is this: when I revel in a “favorite”, I run to my Barnes and Noble Desk Diary calendar (a previous, and still all-time favorite) and I scribble that particular favorite anything, on my nice large Friday space. Unfortunately, today’s space is filled with plenty of “to do” stuff, but alas, no favorites. This morning, I was lamenting this with my husband, scrambling to find “favorites” and asking him to brainstorm with me. My husband reminded me that I treasure my authentic connection with my readers, so I can’t be fake, and pretend to love and to adore anything that I have barely tried. So, today, I have no favorites to share. Please forgive me. As I have mentioned, I am in the midst of a three week period, crammed with “big ‘stuff’, events, celebrations, concerns, etc.” that in an ideal world, would be spread out a little more evenly throughout the year. It’s like having too much salt on one part of your meal. That salt tastes better when it is evenly spread, but such is life, sometimes! I’m rolling with it, and I’m trying to stay in the moment.

The other night, I was returning 18,000+ HomeGoods decorative items (only a slight exaggeration), because we are in the middle of changing around our bedrooms and as we all know, what looks good in the store, doesn’t necessarily translate at home. In trying to appease the understandably exasperated sales clerk, I started listing all of the things which we have going on in our family life (which precipitates me having to get my rooms in order, in a big hurry), all happening in this short time period. As I was doing this, I was incredibly annoyed with myself. It’s so lame to do this. The clerk isn’t going to remember any of that stuff, which has nothing to do with her, and frankly, she doesn’t care. Nor should she care. Yada yada yada. But I kept on rattling on and on. Eww. Yuck. I don’t owe the clerk an explanation. She doesn’t owe me anything but courteousness. So much nervous energy happening, as I spout out loud, what my frenzied, and emotionally charged calendar events look like throughout the rest of this month. But you know what? We were both wearing masks, but we caught each other’s eyes and our eyes smiled, knowingly and warmly, at each other. We got it. Two middle-aged women who have been around the block a few times, gave to each other, in just that one look, the feeling of understanding, humor, empathy and reassurance. That, my friends, is the beauty of our shared humanity. And that shared humanity will always, always be a favorite of mine. I revel in it! Have a great weekend!!!

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Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Beautiful Mother Earth

Happy Earth Day! “Earth Day” and I were born in the same year – 1970, although the Earth, herself, is actually 4.543 billion years old. Damn, it sure took us a while to realize that maybe we should celebrate Earth, and to work on not taking her so much for granted (and we really are just at the beginning baby steps on that quest, aren’t we?). What do you love most about Mother Earth? Is it her endless gifts? Is it her awe-striking beauty? Is it her resilience? Is it her loyalty and steadfastness? Is it her ability to house and to feed a whole plethora of living beings? Is it her healthy, reliable relationship with the sun and the moon and the stars? If there was one utterly, genuine physical example of Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree, Mother Earth is the ultimate, in the “unconditional giving and loving” regard. On this day, and every day, dearest, most beautiful, most awe-striking, most loving, most nurturing, most hospitable Mother Earth, we humbly say thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

“We should honor Mother Earth with gratitude; otherwise our spirituality may become hypocritical.” – Radhanath Swami

“Treat the earth well: it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children. We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we borrow it from our Children.” – Native American Proverb

“Praised be You, my Lord, through our Sister, Mother Earth, who sustains and governs us, producing varied fruits with coloured flowers and herbs.” – Francis of Assisi

“When we recognize the virtues, the talent, the beauty of Mother Earth, something is born in us, some kind of connection, love is born.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“How strange that nature does not knock, and yet does not intrude!” – Emily Dickinson

“We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us.” – Albert Einstein

Lovely quote about the world for Earth Day

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Karma

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Think Smarter (Twitter) nailed it again. Karma is more complicated than we use it in the casual sense, here in the West. From a Eastern religious viewpoint, karma involves past lives and future lives, and the inner and outer states of our consciences, etc. Still the basic premise of karma is, “What goes around, comes around,” or “The energy that we put out, is the energy that we get back.”

When my kids play sports, and a bad call is made, I always think to myself, “Well, karma is a bitch,” and more often than not, the consequences of karma happens. Referees have a tendency to make good calls and to make bad calls, for both teams. Still, I find the karma idea, quite comforting. It helps me to stop ruminating in “the unfairness of it all”. The idea of karma helps me to keep my head in the game, right in the very moment, as the game is being played. Perhaps karma is just another word for “faith.” Perhaps karma is saying, “The Creator of All That Is, being incredibly creative and powerful, will best know how to take care of this situation. Trust this, and move on.”

I think that we like the concept of “karma” because rarely is justice served instantaneously. Swift justice is a rare thing. And justice is complicated. The motivations behind actions can be “good” or “bad” and even the labels of “good or bad” are often subjective. “Good” deeds can be done with bad intentions, such as a large donation being made to a worthy charity in order to sway a vote, for example. “Bad” deeds can be done with good intentions, such as stealing a loaf a bread, in order to feed a child.

The bottom line is, if you are comfortable with how you live, and your motivations, and your actions, karma is a comforting concept. You do what you have control of doing, and then you let go, and you trust the Almighty Universe with the judgments and the consequences, of all that is going on around you. Perhaps, the hardest part of all of this, is that you must trust the Universe with the timing. When it comes to karma, the Universe doesn’t use Amazon Prime. There is rarely instant gratification with the justice which we feel is deserved and we want served. But maybe that is the merciful side of our Universe. We all have made mistakes, and we all have made bad judgments, and we all have done things which we regret doing, with motivations coming from the lesser sides of ourselves. We are all relieved when we are forgiven and we are shown mercy for our own transgressions. Often, we feel the most relief when we have to pay a price for our wrongdoings. Experiencing consequences often makes us feel like we have “done the time for our crime”. Experiencing the repercussions of our actions, helps us to forgive ourselves. Finally, experiencing the negative ramifications of our actions, usually motivates us to do some self examination in order to change our future actions, so as karma states, the consequences of our future actions will be better for us in our own lives, and for all others in our outer world.

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Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.