You’re Fired!

Earlier this year, my aunt and uncle came to visit us.  We were very excited to see them as we don’t get to see them very often due to the fact that they live in England.  So, I spent a lot of time preparing for their visit.  On the day of their arrival, the rest of the family was at school and work, so I did the final preparations.  (you know shopping, cooking, shoving things in closets)  About an hour or so before their due arrival, I set the dining room table elegantly and I lit a scented candle before heading to take my shower.

About 5 minutes into my shower, I heard a voice I’ve never heard before.  It was an extremely loud, urgent woman’s voice broken up intermittently by a piercing beeping sound.  Her voice firmly screamed, “Fire! Fire! Fire!”  Now right outside of the shower entrance was Ralphie, our labrador retriever.  He is a water dog, through and through, and we’ve had to train him that he cannot shower with us, so he just waits right outside the shower door hoping to catch some mist.  Ralphie went into overdrive the minute the screaming woman started screaming.  Lacey, our collie, who usually walks around the house herding dust bunnies (mostly her own hair), came running to meet me at the shower, too.  Now, I’m kind of “hit or miss” when it comes to emergencies, so I didn’t think to grab a robe or a towel.  I just ran naked out to the dining room with my hysterical canine entourage in tow.  There in the center of my dining room table, the centerpiece had fallen into the candle and the middle of the table was on fire.  If I had done it on purpose, it actually looked kind of cool and dramatic, but obviously, there is nothing really cool about a wooden table being on fire.

It’s funny when you look back at these things and observe your reactions.  At that moment, I was honestly just annoyed as hell.  The noise of the screaming woman fire alarm and the barking dogs was driving me mad.  I was running naked from the kitchen to the dining room, tripping over my hysterical dogs, with pitchers of water and the whole time, in my mind, I was going over whether we would have to eat in the kitchen now and would we all fit?!?  Seriously.  As I was throwing water at my table, I started wondering if I would have time to buy another tablecloth.  Thankfully, my mind wasn’t going to the fact that my whole house could burn down with me and the pups with it.  I guess minimizing is my emergency defense mechanism?!?

In the end, I was able to put the fire out, and luckily, since I had a thick tablecloth and even thicker table pads, our dining room table (which has a lot of sentimental value – granted, dining rooms tables usually do, due all of the family meals, holidays, games, arguments and celebrations that are often shared around them) was completely spared.  In fact, we even ate in the dining room that night.  Despite the campfire aroma, all went very well.

So what is the point of this story?  None really.  I just think it’s funny and it is good to laugh every day.  Especially at yourself.