Monday – Funday

I read an interesting article by Alan Cohen the other day. The article was talking about how there are easier ways to say “no.” The article suggested that instead of mustering up the courage to say “no” to things that we don’t want to do, we often subconsciously self-sabotage ourselves with accidents, or with other undermining behaviors towards our own selves. Sometimes pains and illnesses occur in our bodies, seemingly out of nowhere, that stop us doing from what we don’t want to do.

We don’t need to punish ourselves for our “nos”. There are easier ways to say “no” than hurting ourselves. Where do you need to be an advocate for yourself? Can you find some clues to this question in your body, or in your dreams, or in repeated negative patterns that keep occurring in your life? Be a detective about yourself. You may be surprised with the answers that you may find.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

What Should I Eat?

I’m so sick of figuring out what to eat all the time. – Erica Rhodes, comedienne (Twitter)

I was so validated when I read this tweet this morning. One of my biggest complaints over the years, being the stay-at-home parent to four kids, was figuring out every night’s dinner plans. I’m not a great cook. I don’t honestly love to cook. I find it frustrating that something that takes a lot of time and planning and expense, creates a big mess, and inevitably adds fat to my body, is also devoured in a span of a just a few minutes. I’m not denigrating those who love to cook. I admire you. I wish that I was as passionate about cooking, as I am about writing.

Now that my kids are grown and out of the house, I now realize that I still hate figuring out meals, even if it is just for myself. My husband gets tired of hearing me complain about figuring out dinner. (Breakfast and lunch long ended up in the “fend for yourself” category, even when our kids were still at home.) “I honestly don’t care!” he says with a frustrated tone. “Stop stressing about dinner! We’ll just eat whatever we feel like eating at the time.” But that’s part of the problem, too. How much time of your life do you sit in front of your open refrigerator, or your kitchen cabinet, and you think to yourself, “I’m really hungry, but nothing appeals to me. I’m starved, but I just don’t know what to eat.”? If we are honest with ourselves, true food cravings are few and far between, and they are usually related to hormones and/or emotions. True food cravings are wonderful, because they turn eating into a focused mission to be accomplished, above all other missions and chores.

Some people who read Erica Rhodes’ tweet were outraged, and called her privileged for even thinking such a thought, let alone tweeting it. (And then, at the other end of the spectrum, there was the guy in the comments, who truly does seem kind of privileged, when he mentioned his live-in chef. Sigh.) I think that it goes without saying, that of course, those of us who have plenty of food to eat, are extremely grateful for this fact. There is no need to shame anyone. Everyone understands that there are certainly many worse problems in life than figuring out what to eat. Still, it was relieving to see that a lot of other people struggle with this daily dilemma of figuring out meals. Here are some comments to Erica Rhodes’ tweet, that even if you don’t see them as viable solutions to this problem, you will probably get a good giggle from them. I know that I did. Comments to her tweet:

It’s such a bother! Makes me want the everlasting gobstopper from Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Every day! (Matthew Kenneth Gray)

I started eating salad every day for lunch six years ago. I hate it still after all this time but there’s a peculiar freedom in knowing I’m never going to enjoy lunch again. (Justin Stenson)

Grubhub needs a “surprise me” option. (John Dawkins)

Book a gig on a cruise. (Matt D’Rion)

Did Steve Jobs eat the same thing everyday? I know he wore the same clothes not to have to think about what to wear. Thinking about it, perhaps not the best idea anyway. (baranoide)

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

If You . . .

If you ever struggle with feeling like you are not doing “enough”, remember that you are just one tiny little cell of an immense, intricate ever-growing living organism. Do your own cellular function and know that it is enough. Know that your life is an important function to the life of the whole world, just as any tiny cell, helps to support the life of a whole body. Just one human body contains 37.2 trillion living cells.

If you ever struggle with gratitude, think about what Steve Jobs wrote above. Be thankful for all of the other “cells”, past and present and future, who have helped to co-create the life you have lived, the life you are currently living, and the life that you will live tomorrow. You will quickly become overwhelmed with immeasurable gratitude. You will be awestruck.

If you are struggling with anger, fear, frustration, resentment, indignity, try to step out of your own little “cell” for a moment, and see the bigger picture. Perspective often cures and frees the darkest of emotions. Steve Jobs died about a year after he wrote this poignant email to himself.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Friday Rising

Eruption at Mount Edna (Sicily) gives the illusion of a Phoenix in the sky (credit: @fastworkers6, Twitter)

What an amazing world we live in! In a matter of ten minutes (after studying this amazing picture above which was taken in May of this year), I watched a video of a newborn calf who was born at 3 a.m. last night, a lecture given about marketing by the late Steve Jobs, and a fabulous dancing video of the late Carmen Amaya, who is considered to be the greatest woman flamenco dancer who has ever lived. All of this greatness, arrived at the touch of my finger before 7:15 a.m. Why is this ability to see and to experience, and to learn about so much, so easily, so taken for granted? I remember the days of having to painstakingly research everything that I was curious about, utilizing card catalogs and microfiche. Don’t get caught in ruts, friends. Don’t watch the same news channels, droning on the same negativity every single day. Broaden your horizons. This world is incredible. Put your focus on what puts you into the state of awe.

Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! What’s my favorite thing for today? I live in Florida. Hair and humidity do not mix. I finally found a hair product that helps to keep my hair in relative form. It’s not perfect, but it is better than any other product I have tried thus far. Paul Mitchell Fast Drying Sculpting Spray is effective, relatively inexpensive, and available in travel size at your local CVS, in order to try it before you purchase the large size. (that’s how I originally discovered this gem of a product)

Please check out my previous Friday posts for more favorites, and do something this weekend that will put it on the list of one of your favorite weekends of all time!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Are You Conscious?

I’m delayed in writing this morning. Usually, I get right to my writing space and my mind space, and I go right at it, but today I got distracted by some interesting texts with friends concerning interpersonal relationships and expectations. And then I got wrapped up in an thought-provoking conversation with my husband about how much the manner in which he works on a daily basis has changed in these last two years since the pandemic. My husband, a banker, now works remotely from home for at least half of the week, and this has never, ever been the case in the previous 29 years of his working in his industry before the pandemic occurred. Neither of these exchanges had much in common except for one thing: conditioned living versus conscious living.

There has been a whole thrust of information and interest about “living consciously”, which mostly means paying attention to what we are doing, and why we are doing it. It means becoming really honest with ourselves about our choices, and what is important to us, and the reasons why we feel what we feel, and do what we do. It means becoming brave enough to live our own choices and our own beliefs, without being concerned about what others think about these choices. Living consciously, means living in awareness, and being true to ourselves. We independent, freedom-loving Americans love to believe that we are renegades who are fully in control of our own lives and destinies, but truthfully, until the pandemic happened, a much smaller percentage of corporations and workers believed that remote work could happen and could happen productively and successfully. We didn’t consciously make this major change in our society. The pandemic forced it on us. If you are interested in this major swing towards remote working, this article is filled with interesting statistics:

Statistics On Remote Workers That Will Surprise You

If I am honest with myself, the times that I best lived most consciously, and most aware and true to myself, happened after major crises in my life. To center myself, and to navigate out of these crises, I had to get really real with myself, about the parts that I could control, and the parts that I couldn’t. I had to get humble enough to seek and to accept help when needed. Nothing will get you out of a “zombie” state faster than a crisis. Even good changes, such as a money windfall, or kids growing up and starting their own lives, or a new grandchild, bring about meaningful transformations that force us to consider our whole state of living – what we do, how we do it and why we do it.

I honestly believe, as awful as the pandemic has been, if each of us use this experience to get really conscious and wide awake about our own individual precious lives, and how we spend our time, and how we live our own individual, unique values (without trying to control others – our lives are our business, their lives are theirs), like all tragedies, the losses which we have suffered in this pandemic, will not be in vain. The beginning of the year is a wise time to get conscious/introspective/honest about everything in our lives: our relationships, our health, our daily habits, our jobs, our finances, where we live, our spiritual beliefs, what we buy, what we eat, what we watch, where we spend our time, etc. In each of these areas, are we living authentically? What changes would we like to bring about? What can we change, and what is out of our control? Are we true to ourselves or desperately trying to impress/control others?

Pondering deeply is never a waste of time. Give yourself the gift of pondering before you consciously move on with the precious gift of another year of your own one life. Be brave. Be curious about yourself. Help yourself to fall in love with your life that you are consciously co-creating with the Divine.

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”– Dolly Parton

“Our time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”– Steve Jobs

 “And how can we truly know ourselves unless we get still enough to listen to just ourselves? Unless we give ourselves the time and space to tune in.”― Shayne Traviss

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.