Tag: Queen Elizabeth

I’m Okay

Hi readers and friends. Judging from concerned texts which I have been receiving from some of my inner circle who are also Adulting-Second Half faithfuls, I felt the need to come to let you know that I am fine, and I hope to be back to my regular daily blogging by Monday, at the latest. Unfortunately, I came down with a doozy of a virus on Monday night and it has knocked me off of my feet. Throughout this past week, I have been miserable, fatigued, bummed, annoyed and mostly, extremely listless. I finally succumbed to going to the doctor on Friday who confirmed that my virus had turned into a mess of two ear infections and a sinus infection, and she swiftly put me on antibiotics and steroids. The medications are starting to kick in. I still don’t have a lot of energy, but I have pain relief and thankfully, my head no longer feels like it is going to explode.

My daughter left for her summer study abroad studies in London earlier this week, and so I suppose, in missing her and feeling the need to channel her, with my utter lack of energy, I firmly sat on my little brown couch, with little brown dog, and I mostly binge watched most of The Crown, all week long. (I may be one of the few women left on Earth, who has never seen The Crown before this week.) In doing so, my curiosity lead me to reading this book: Lady in Waiting: My Extraordinary Life in the Shadow of the Crown by Anne Glenconner. It is the true story of a member of the British aristocracy who served as a lady-in-waiting for Princess Margaret for 30 years, and she also was one of Queen Elizabeth’s attendants when the queen was coronated in 1953. It is an honest, candid, highly readable book which was written in 2020, when the author was in her eighties (The author is still writing books, now at the age of 91). I could not put the book down. I expected to be disgusted and off-put by her accounts, but instead I found her biography intriguing, fascinating and oddly, sometimes even relatable. No matter what our station in life is, we women all juggle what it means to be women in service not only to ourselves but also to our husbands/partners, families and communities, all while being strongly influenced, and sometimes limited, by societal expectations.

Coming here to the blog, for the first time since Tuesday morning, despite being utterly played out, has made me realize how much I’ve missed writing it, and feeling a connection with you, my readers. I missed you! Thank you for the well wishes and concern. I pride myself on my robust immune system and I am not used to being “kept down” this long, but I believe that the body has a wisdom of its own and I am willing to succumb to this wisdom and healing that only true rest and surrender has to offer.

Good night, friends. I am headed to bed. I will be back “in form” by Monday. <3

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1217. Are you being true to yourself?

Monday-Funday

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

I think this is why there is such an outpouring for the loss of Queen Elizabeth II. She didn’t sit on her throne of entitlement. She didn’t expect or demand people’s respect (while arguably, she had more “titles” and “higher up duties and obligations” and “familial roles” than almost anyone). She earned people’s respect. There are so many examples in life, where people have expectations of treatment just because they have a certain title or a function, and they believe that’s all it takes for others to bow down to them. And then they sit in their victim chairs and pout, when they don’t get the respect which they think that they “deserve.” That’s not how life works. Respect is earned through our actions, our values, and how we treat others. Respect is not “a given”, just because of the titles and roles one has in life.

RIP, dear Queen Elizabeth II

You have earned our respect.

Mother Bear

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

My husband was giddy yesterday, talking about the football games that had happened over the weekend with his officemates. Mondays at the office can be rough, yet my husband seemed to be in a particularly good mood. Football is a unifier. Even if you aren’t a big sports fan, you still usually have “a team” because it is the team of the city where you live, or your city of birth, or the university you attended. You identify with your team and your fellow fans. You feel united with an energy bigger than yourself.

I know that this overwhelming outpouring for the Queen of England, before she is put to rest with Prince Philip, is hard for some people to understand. There is a reason why western civilization has evolved away from monarchies and aristocracies. The Queen herself was essentially a figurehead, yielding not much more than what they call “soft power”, which is more of an influence, than any right to demand. And there are a lot of questions as to whether the monarchy is even necessary, or should be supported, considering its sometimes sordid past.

I believe that the grief which is being shown over the death of Queen Elizabeth, the world over, is an outpouring of the loss of a long-standing, consistent, unflappable, dedicated being whom anyone could claim as their own favorite, if they so chose. In a world so full of change that seems to be happening at the speed of light, a world so full of stark polar opposition in our politics, a world that seems to be questioning and rewriting so many of our long standing traditions, laws, and rituals, we cling to the things that are steadfast. We cling to the people and the things that will be there for us, in some form or other, no matter what else is happening. We cling to football, and “the holidays”, and pizza, and classic movies and ageless songs, and the moon and the stars, and all of the things that have stood the test of time, because these are the things that unite us, and the things that we can mostly agree on (even with playful rivalries). In a world of heightened disagreement and divisiveness, we cling to the things that we can all dedicate ourselves to – we cling to the things that are available to all of us, to claim as our own. We cling to anything that reminds us that despite all of our differences, we all make up one humanity. We cling to the people and the institutions which allow us the shared security and enthusiasm to unite with each other, and to band together over shared loves and losses.

The whole world seems to have lost a symbolic, steadfast grandmother when Queen Elizabeth died. Just like our own grandmothers, she wasn’t perfect. She made mistakes. But she was utterly dedicated and dutiful to her family, to her responsibilities, and to what was required of her. There was no question that the Queen was on the watch, and she wasn’t going to stop, until it was time for her to pass on. I think that so many of us can relate. So many of us have been supported by strong, determined women, who see “their duties” out to the very end, with a steely dedication to do right, by what life has required of them. I mean no disrespect to my male readers here, but in my experience, it comes more naturally for women to fully dedicate themselves to something more than just themselves. Look at nature. No one wants to run into a mother bear. We have lost a universal mother bear. This hollow sadness and almost disbelief which so many of us are feeling about this loss of the longstanding queen – this sadness is something that actually unites us. And that is why we are carrying on our grief, as long as we can. Feeling united feels good, even in times of pain.

Friday’s Majesty

Credit: Gregorio Catarino, Twitter Photographer of Queen Elizabeth, age 10, in July of 1936 was Lisa Sheridan

RIP – Queen Elizabeth II

“I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong.”

When we judge people, we often forget that we all started out the same, as innocent little children, new to this world and to this living experience. No matter what anyone thinks of the British royals, or of the monarchy, no one can deny Queen Elizabeth’s unwavering commitment to her duties, carried out with a deliberate dignified stoicism, from childhood on. It is difficult not to respect people who are wholly devoted to something bigger than themselves, for their entire lives. It is only when these people pass on, that their constancy and loyalty is fully and truly appreciated.

Happy Friday, friends!! On Fridays, I discuss favorites. Life is an experience and there are so many wonderful things to experience in a lifetime. My favorite for today is Karen Nimmo who is a clinical psychologist and writer from New Zealand. She has so many practical, no-nonsense self-help tips in her articles, her 4-minute therapy sessions on Facebook, and in her books. I always glean helpful wisdom whenever I take the time to read one of her articles or to watch one of her short videos (plus I delight in listening to her wonderful Kiwi accent). Her blog on medium can be found here: https://medium.com/on-the-couch And her Facebook videos can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/KarenNimmoPsychology (I see that she has already posted a video about grieving people whom you don’t even know, such as for Queen Elizabeth)

Have a wonderful, restoring weekend, friends!!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

What Is

The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee is happening in the United Kingdom right now. At age 96, Queen Elizabeth is the first British Monarch to have achieved 70 years of service, given to her country. There are all sorts of celebrations and activities happening in the United Kingdom to mark this occasion, all over their country, throughout this weekend.

I happened upon a recent monolog by Bill Maher making fun of some of the rules and customs surrounding the British monarchy. Apparently there is one Earl whose only job is to carve the queen’s meat, and when having a meal with the queen, the minute the queen stops eating, everyone else is required to put down their utensils and stop eating, as well. To many, this seems ridiculous, particularly since monarchies are created by birthrights, and are not actually merit based. Still, even in recent years, when there has been quite a lot of scandal surrounding the British monarchy, a large majority of people in the United Kingdom support keeping the monarchy in place, and they take pride in its long, stable tradition. Many British citizens believe that their royalty brings a lot of interest and tourism to their country, and that it unites the people in their shared heritage. In all fairness, I can’t go grocery shopping here in Florida, without seeing pictures of some members of the British monarchy on our magazines, at any time that I am there. It’s safe to say that the fascination with British royals is a worldly thing.

I think that a vast majority of all of us people, like our traditions and our pomp and circumstance. We like the feeling of unity and pride and meaning, with the recognition of our shared rituals. Any decent comedian could rip apart any of our celebratory ceremonies for their apparent silliness, and unnecessary steps, and regulations, and uniforms, and accoutrements. Having just gone through my daughter’s high school graduation ceremony with the mortarboards and the robes, I am sure that if I were an alien visiting from outer space, I might quizzically consider this societal custom, with perhaps even a giggle. And of course, when observing other country’s and other cultures’ traditions and ceremonies, these events often seem so foreign and unfathomable to any of us who are used to thinking that our own traditions and celebrations are what is “correct.” If we are honest and aware, a lot of our current ceremonies and traditions and rituals, whether they be religious, or of the military, or educational, or governmental, could easily be poked fun at by any person with sound thinking abilities. In fact, many of our traditions have been changed throughout history (even in our own lifetimes), due to the realization of the impracticalities and absurdities and even dangers of any particular custom or tradition.

My thoughts on customs and traditions and rituals, is this: Be conscious of what you are doing. If this tradition brings you pride, happiness, positivity, connection, enjoyment, contentment, and it doesn’t hurt or harm anyone else, then it is a good custom for you, and for your loved ones to enjoy together. Who cares if it seems silly or extravagant or outdated or pointless to others? If it is beautiful and meaningful to you, and to others, then it is a lovely creation, worth holding on to and sharing, in your life’s experience. If this custom, tradition, or ritual is harmful and used for control and manipulation and entitlement, that brings harm to others, then be honest with yourself, is this tradition one that you want to continue celebrating in your life? Is this tradition meaningful to you, or is this something that you have been unconsciously doing, by just going through the motions due to the expectations of others, or out of an irrational fear that has been imposed upon you?

When anything is considered in life, it always comes down to the same thing, doesn’t it? Awareness. Notice what is, and contemplate what is, and decide if you want to be part of what is, or if you want to change what is for the better. And at the same time, allow this same courtesy to others, even if their traditions are different than yours.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Are You Serious?

“What is funny about us is precisely that we take ourselves too seriously.” – Reinhold Niebuhr

“Let us not take ourselves too seriously. None of us have a monopoly on wisdom.” – Queen Elizabeth II

When I was a kid, one of our favorite family past times was for my father to set up the slide projector. (the one with the round tray that would click noisily through the slides) Then, my mother, father, sister and I would laugh heartily at the old family pictures. We would giggle at the bouffant hairdos, the bad Toni perms, the funny glasses and even us kids would laugh at ourselves, with our pigtails and our bell-bottomed gauchos. Many of these pictures were just a decade old and yet, they were outdated enough, for us to find them to be laugh-out-loud hilarious. What’s even funnier, is that we were watching these slides in the 1980s with our enormous hair and shellacked bangs, in our mauve and teal-colored family room.

I have been binge watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. My youngest son has watched a couple of the episodes with me and a few times he has commented on the fact that he can’t believe some of the ways that they talk on the show, or what they do and wear, really happened. He finds it to be ridiculous. The show takes place in the late 1950s. Most of us “second halfers” in adulting, have parents who were kids and young adults in the 1950s. Yet when we watch shows like Maisel and Madmen, they seem otherworldly . . . from a time long, long ago.

Bottom line is that almost everything that we consider stylish, tried and true, and important and crucial right now, is likely to seem funny, trite, silly and sometimes, even impossible to understand, in the very near future. Everything that is weighing heavy on our hearts right now, is more than likely to work itself out, to the point that we will eventually have a hard time remembering what had upset us so much. And this cycle happens many, many times over, just in our lifetimes. Why would we take anything too seriously, when we fully understand that this cycle happens, again and again?

“I don’t believe in being serious about anything. I think life is too serious to be taken seriously.” – Ray Bradbury