Tag: peace

Inside You

I was reminded of this proverb shown above, this morning while perusing the internet. What are you letting inside that doesn’t deserve a welcome mat? Another proverb says, “Wherever you go, there you are.” So even if you are Oprah Winfrey, Jeff Bezos or Taylor Swift, and you have homes and planes and yachts all over the place, at your immediate disposal, you can only be in one place, at any one time . . . . your own body, which houses your restless mind.

Dr. Nicole LePera recently posted this on X: “If your home is a place of peace, you’ve broken the cycle.”

Is your home a place of peace? I’m not talking about your bricks and mortar home. I’m talking about inside of you. Your body and your mind is your true home.

What is a peaceful place? A peaceful place is one of security, comfort, acceptance, and easy-going, light flowing energy. In a peaceful place you don’t expect to have to walk on eggshells, nor pretend to be someone or something that you are not. You don’t feel tension or trepidation in peaceful places. You don’t feel judged or condemned in peaceful places. Rarely do you feel the need to escape from peaceful places. Peaceful places tend to be our ultimate sanctuaries. Peaceful places make us feel like everything is alright.

Is your body/mind a peaceful place to be? Because if it isn’t, there’s nowhere else to go. You can try to escape it with mind-numbing activities and addictions, but you are still there. Even if it feels like you’ve escaped it for a moment, you are still there.

What if your soul/spirit/highest form of yourself was the keeper and captain of your mind/body? And all that your soul/spirit/highest form of yourself wanted, was for your mind/body to be a place of peace? What would be needed to keep your mind/body a sanctuary of peace? Who/what would be invited in, and who/what would be kept out? What thoughts and actions would become rituals to keep your mind/body peaceful? What thoughts and actions would be shown the door?

What if you were able to walk through life, shielded by the beautiful energy of your own place of peace, in every single moment, no matter where you happened to be? What if the waves and storms outside of you, try as they may, could not “rock the boat” of peace inside of you?

Ultimately, anything that we want outside of ourselves, is because of the feelings that we believe that these things will bring inside of ourselves. What if that thinking is all backwards? What if those feelings are available to us, right now, inside the quiet, peaceful sanctuaries of our own hearts? What if all of what we have brought in from “the outside” is drowning and overwhelming us, like a ship taking in too much water from the ocean around it? Is it possible that a simple, peaceful sanctuary of observance and curiosity, has been inside of us all along, but it has been overtaken by too many outside influences? Is it time to let “all that stuff” that doesn’t serve, drain out?

Ultimately a ship at sea, leaves for its voyage, with the captain knowing that there will be all sorts of weather, and unforeseen adventures along the way, but the ultimate goal is to arrive at its destination, with all of the cargo and crew, safe and intact. A ship at sea, has a good captain, who follows the inner navigation system closely, so that even when all that can be seen is ocean and sky, the captain of the ship, intimately and deeply understands that the destination will be seen on the horizon one day. In the meantime, the captain’s goal is to keep the ship afloat as a dry, safe sanctuary of peace, as it carries on with its journey through the vastness surrounding it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2283. Are you a good singer? (It really doesn’t matter. Just sing.)

Soul Sunday

Today, my web host did not want to cooperate with me. It’s usual reliability was thrown out the window. Trying to navigate the Login to get on to my blog, was so aggravating and wonky, I found my irritability meter going towards its threshold. And then Ed of Ed’s (our lawn guy) called with a bunch of excuses of why he hadn’t been able to come out this week to mow our lawn. (we don’t own a lawn mower because we employ Ed of Ed’s) Our lawn currently looks like the beginning spawn of a remake of the Amazon jungle. As my ire was simmering underneath my skin, I was reminded of just how typically reliable both my web host, and Ed of Ed’s, are in my life, and I typically have no feelings other than peace and ease and comfort, about their dependability and stability. It’s only on the rare occasion that things aren’t going as planned that my Inner Hothead pops in for a visit, full of indignant bluster. Rumi’s poem (below) is the perfect choice for poetry day on the blog:

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1039. What brand or product do you buy because you feel it’s trustworthy?

ODAT

One day at a time . . . . I love ODAT. It’s really the only way to go with anything: problems, goals, trips, projects, habits, healing, seasons. “Just for today, I will . . . . .” If you simplify anything down to ODAT, it’s doable. It’s manageable. It’s possible. It’s achievable. ODATs all add up, too. Ask anyone who has started a business, lost weight, kicked addictions, worked through grief, wrote a book, built a house, healed from a disease or an ailment . . . . Today, when you find yourself in a tiz over anything, apply ODAT. Figure out what steps or actions you need to do for this goal or situation, just for today. Let the ODATs take you to where you want to go. ODATS help you to grow. You learn patience, practicality, trust, faith, steadiness, and the ability to create good habits. You learn that your days all add up to your entire lifetime. You learn that you are able to do more in a day than you ever expected. You get planful instead of panic-full. ODAT. Make it part of your vernacular. Make it part of your breathwork. Make it your way of life.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

956. What is the craziest craving you ever had?

Soul Sunday

Good morning and what a beautiful morning it is here. I wish the same for you. Sundays on the blog are devoted to the talk of the heart and soul (poetry). Listen to your heart and soul today. Write yourself a poem. Make a beautiful connection with yourself. Here is my poem for today:

This is peace.

Light snore of dogs.

Sunlit pattern on the floors.

Easy breezes in the palms.

Lightly tinkling wind chimes.

Easy breathing, no aches or pains.

Unscheduled time.

Choices in the pantry.

Unconflicted mind.

Worries in faraway closed, dark drawers.

Seeping gratitude for all of the love in my life.

This is peace.

Peace is this.

Peace is noticing the good.

And soaking it in.

Becoming one with it.

Peace is truth.

I am peace.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

785. Do you believe in aliens?

Monday – Funday

credit, @woofknight, X

Only one April’s Fools day did I play a joke on the blog, and then I felt bad for at least five days after that (and maybe even more because I am still writing about it). So this year, no jokes. Happy April! Happy full swing of spring! Happy start to the 2nd quarter of the year!!

“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.” – Rita Mae Brown

I’ve been mulling around the concept of radical acceptance for a while now. Before you can make any meaningful changes in your life, you must come to a radical acceptance as to how things exactly are, right in this moment. You accept the reality of where you are, in this moment, and everything that comes with this moment – the emotions, the implications, the situations and the people whom you cannot change, and you come to a peace with these elements. You can also come to a radical acceptance of your past – events that have happened, good relationships and bad relationships throughout the years, the fairness and unfairness of life, etc. In short, with radical acceptance, you don’t mull over the unfairness of what could have happened, or the unfairness of what is. When you just utilize “regular acceptance”, this implies resignation and almost agreeing with “giving up” and this is why we often resist acceptance. Regular acceptance feels hopeless and dejected. Radical acceptance faces truth head on, with the idea of looking at your options going forward, with a practical lens. Radical acceptance allows you to clearly feel and to process your feelings about a situation, but then to move forward and to make decisions for your best interests, based on reality. Radical acceptance gives you power.

Unfortunately, we have a tendency to avoid radical acceptance of people and of situations because we don’t want to face things as they are . . . .we wish that things were different. We hang on to hopes that we can change a person, or change a situation, or change what has happened in the past, but these things are impossible. When we avoid radical acceptance, we live in a constant limbo and we dance with the same cycles of disappointment, again and again. When we avoid radical acceptance, we play a part in our own suffering. As hurtful as it can be, to face the pain of “what is” head on, is what will ultimately gives us relief and direction. Radical acceptance stops the ongoing suffering. It allows us to make boundaries and to change our mindset, instead of staying stuck in the mire of frustration and despair.

I’ve put the circle of control on this blog several times, but it bears repeating. When we allow ourselves to experience radical acceptance, we fully understand and accept what is in our control and what is not in our control.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1011. Name the biggest risk you have ever taken.

Monday – Funday

If you want to make people exceedingly intrigued by you, and perhaps even envious of you (although this is not advised – when people are at their most envious, they are often at their worst) you don’t need millions of dollars, a perfect body, a beautiful face, a loving relationship, amazing kids, and a fancy car. You just need to be “happy.” Choose to be happy every single day. You will absolutely glow. Unfortunately, happiness is something that is available to all of us, but we make it so hard. There are people I have known who had all of the things listed above, and they were some of the most miserable people I have ever known. Happiness truly is an inside job. A happy optimist isn’t in denial. The happy optimists recognize that there is a lot that needs to be different in the world. So they choose to work at changing these things, or they choose to accept these things. And then the happy, optimist goes on to savor the myriad of things that are completely wonderful in this world. Don’t make happiness elusive. Don’t make happiness contingent on what you have or what you don’t have. Don’t compare others’ happiness to your own. Like love, happiness just is . . . . And happiness really is available to all of us. Happiness is a peaceful contentedness that is still there in the background, when sad feelings arise. It is the peaceful contentedness that is still there, even when fear is at its height. Happiness is living life in gratitude and appreciating the stories about the experiences of the moments. Why have we chosen to make happiness such a rarity? Is it smarter to sound sad, angry and bitter? Does it really matter how “smart” anyone is? Be happy. Today, choose happy at all costs. You’ll be amazed that you had the power to be happy within you, all along. And you’ll also be amazed at how magnetizing a power that true happiness can be.

“Whoever is happy, will make others happy.” – Anne Frank

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1629. How are you still similar to your younger self?

Here’s a Nudge

What’s your theme of 2024? Yesterday a friend texted a Washington Post article to a lot of us that had a little tool in it, to find “your nudge word.” The article can be found here:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/interactive/2023/nudge-word-new-year-resolutions/

Do you have a nudge word that makes sense to you? Since our family is still visiting here all week, I haven’t had enough quiet, by-myself reflection time to figure out my “nudge word” for 2024 just yet, but I do love the concept. Interestingly, at this time last year, I had chosen the word “Resipiscence” to be my word for 2023. (I didn’t know it as a “nudge word” back then. The word “resipiscence” is a word that came to me at a workshop that I had attended early last year.) The dictionary describes resipiscence as this: “a return to a sane, sound, or correct view or position“. After experiencing the pandemic in 2020, the absolute worst year of seizures for our epileptic son in 2021, and the long, painful, drawn-out illness and eventual death of my mother-in-law of 2022, I wanted a word that I could repeat like a mantra, which represented to me, the getting back on track to a certain level of “normalcy” and peace and calm and stability in my life, and in the experience of our family. Despite a few unfortunate blips here and there, thankfully, 2023 proved to be a year of resipiscence for both me and my immediate family. I think that the idea of picking a nudge word or a theme for your year (or maybe even for individual experiences/vacations/pursuits, etc.) has great merit and can be quite powerful. It is the uncomplicated reminder of what you really want for yourself, and for the moments in life that you experience this year and beyond. So, nudge, nudge . . . . and if you are so inclined, please tell us about your own nudge word that you chose for 2024, and also why you chose it.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

OOOOPS! Much like trying to remember to date things “2024”, I already forgot my new feature. The Question Prompt of the Day from 3000 Questions About Me:

5. What is your current state of mind?

Snow White in a Bird Cage

We have had workers here this week repairing and re-screening our pool cage. For those of you who aren’t familiar with pool cages, many of us here in Florida have enormous, ugly metal and screen contraptions surrounding our pool areas. On the good side of these “bird cages” (as they are sometimes called), they help to keep bugs, wildlife (remember that in Florida, wildlife includes a plethora of alligators), and extreme levels of plant debris, out of our pools. On the negative side, they’re ugly. Still, I love my ugly birdcage. It keeps my doggies in, and the gators and the coyotes, out.

The owner of the pool screening company suggested that we make even more out of our back view by doing what is called a “panoramic screen” which requires less bars. See it above. (You can see the muse of my blog, Harmonia, peeking up, right over by the purple plant. You can read all about Harmonia if you scroll down on my blog’s home page). This is the view that I have from my desk, as I write to you, right now. That lush foliage you see, is part of a nature preserve behind the lake. This spot, in my writing nook, peering out at my view, is probably my happiest of all of my happy places. All sorts of birds waddle and fly by. We get deer and turkeys and herons and alligators and squirrels and possums and owls and armadillos and hawks. Essentially, I am Snow White in a bird cage. Currently, I am sitting here at my desk, filled with peace. Sometimes, different animals walk by and they quizzically peer over at me, almost like an opposite zoo, and at those moments, I am gratefully held captive by my overwhelming feelings of awe of the beauty, and the connection, and the easy, unforced flow of nature and creation.

There is one pool screen worker here who is spry and energetic and his job is to put up the ceiling screens which he does by perching up on a horizontal ladder held by beams. He is sometimes upside down, much like I envision Michelangelo being, while painting the ceiling of the Sistine chapel. It is nerve-wracking to watch. As the workmen were leaving last night, my husband and I were conversing with them about the project, and the spry, acrobatic man and I ended up having sort of a philosophical discussion about different things going on in society. He was making some very deep, astute, wise statements and I told him that what he was talking about sounded a lot like the things which I write about on my blog. With a sheepish pride he said, “Cool, I had an English teacher who said that I could become a writer.”

And for some reason, that statement filled me with gratefulness. I suddenly loved this man’s teacher. I almost felt brought to tears. I love when people see other people. I love when people inspire other people to be the beauty and the potential that they see in them. I love when people help other people to open up and to discover the loveliness and the magnanimity in their own unique selves. Isn’t this what we are supposed to do? Isn’t this what we are made for? What else could be more important? This is love. Love.

“I am a cage, in search of a bird.” – Franz Kafka

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Bad Men

Detective Martin Hart:
Do you wonder ever if you’re a bad man?

Detective Rustin Cohle:
No. I don’t wonder, Marty. World needs bad men. We keep the other bad men from the door.

The scene and the written dialog above is from Season 1 of True Detective. It’s one those inconvenient truths that when we are resting in our most idealized selves, we don’t want to believe. We don’t want to believe that the amazing freedoms that we have in our lives were sometimes hard won by people who were capable of doing things that we, ourselves, might not have it in us to do. It often comes down to the question, do the ends justify the means? And that’s a squirmy question.

I come from a family that has a lot of military veterans. So does my husband. I am proud of how much military service is in the history of my family. I remember, many years ago, getting into a heated discussion about something related to peace and war, during a book club meeting with another club member. Her background was that of a long history of academics and professors. I respected this member quite a bit. I considered her to be a friend and an interesting, thoughtful, intelligent woman. And I believe that she felt the same way about me. After making the whole book club feel immensely uncomfortable, we quieted down and we agreed to go out to eat together, and to talk about our different viewpoints further, with just each other. It was a nice dinner. It was civil. Nothing stands out about the conversation to me. Neither of us changed each other’s mind. But the friendship lasted. The mutual respect lasted. There were a lot of viewpoints that we completely agreed on, in different matters that we read about, in other books. We still exchange Christmas cards to this day.

I admittedly sometimes get into my woo-woo/yogi girl states of being, and I belt out John Lennon’s “Imagine All the People” at the top of my lungs, and I fervently wish that I could manifest this state of peace instantly for all of us. I don’t believe that there are many people in this world who don’t wish for peace and abundance for all. However sometimes, my romanticized, utopian view of the way things Should Be sometimes clouds my vision for truly seeing the way things are right now. And yes, I believe that we all can do our individual parts to “be the change that we want to see in the world”. (attributed to Gandhi and Joseph Ranseth) That’s really the best that any of us can do. And this “being the change” often looks like different things and different roles for different people.

We creative types love nuance. We love to see things in a different way and bring these “different ways” into fruition with our art and in our general ways of being. But sometimes we forget that looking at things “different ways” for other people, in other, more rigid, mechanical fields, other than that of the creative arts, can often be about having to make difficult, snap decisions between the lesser of two awful evils.

Perhaps instead of condemning others for their “stupidity” and their “war mongering”, we might be able to find some level of gratefulness for “the “bad” men who keep the other “bad” men from the door”, so that we are able to do our art, and our protests, and our comfortable day-dreaming about a utopian world where “bad men” don’t exist at all.

“The older I get, the less I know. By that I mean the less I am sure of. I view people with strong opinions on the big stuff with distrust. I don’t think we should have certain certainties on faith and politics; I think we should be open-minded.” _ Pam Ferris

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Tuesday – Museday

+ I hope that this child never changes. What is better than a person who carries emergency confetti, because they are always anticipating something to celebrate? May this sweet child need tons and tons of brightly colored, glittery confetti throughout their entire lives, in order to have it for everything that they feel the need to celebrate.

+ My husband and I have been watching the True Detective series. We are currently in the middle of season 2. Vince Vaughn plays a gangster character named Frank Semyon who says this to a young boy who has just experienced the death of his father:

 “Sometimes, a thing happens, splits your life. There’s a before and after. I got like five of them at this point. And this is your first. But if you use it right, the bad thing, you use it right, and it makes you better. Stronger. It give you something most people don’t have. Bad as this is, wrong as it is, this hurt, it can make you a better man. That’s what pain does. It shows you what was on the inside. And inside of you, is pure gold. And I know that. Your father knew that, too.”

(On an aside, the main writer of the True Detective series is Nic Pizzolatto. He is an incredible writer. The True Detective series is gritty and dark, but the character development and the quotes from the series are also ‘pure gold’. I love a show or a movie that makes me think long after I have watched it. Even if the series is too uncomfortably dark for you to watch, read some of the quotes from the series, especially Season 1. It will get your brain whirling.)

The “split your life phenomenon” is something that I have heard before. It is usually said after an enormous, untimely tragedy. But the Frank Semyon character gets it right. By the time we are fortunate enough to reach middle age and beyond, we all usually have at least one event that has happened in our lives that splits our lives into before and after. And as much as we would have preferred not to experience this said event, it does make us stronger. The grievous event makes us more compassionate. These types of events tend to awaken us and to jar us into understanding what is most meaningful to us going forward. And the silver linings can be alchemized into “pure gold” if we let the process happen.

+ “So many people need you to behave in a certain way for them to feel good. They condemn you for your selfishness. ‘How dare you be so selfish as to follow what makes you feel good. You should follow what makes us feel good.” – Esther Hicks

This is a good one for the holiday season. Are you expecting others to make your holiday season wonderful, by expecting them to do your bidding? If this is the case, are they the selfish ones, or are you? Why would you let something as important as your own well-being rest in the hands of others and their actions? Why would you give away control of your own peace of mind? Are you trying to make others feel good by walking on eggshells, doing their bidding, spending the holiday season on “shoulds” and traditions of others, only to feel resentful that no one is doing the same for you? This holiday season make your own peace of mind of utmost importance. Only do things that feel good. (and yes, that can often mean doing things for others, but only doing them because it feels good to do them, not with some kind of expectation that they will respond accordingly) I assure you that the best gift that you can give your loved ones this year is an inner peace that permeates all around you. They will feel it. They will rest in it. They will emulate it. Only do things that add to your own inner peace. Don’t allow anyone to steal your peace. Don’t give others control of your peace. Don’t expect peace to come from anywhere, or from anyone else, than your own inner wellspring. That’s where your peace lies, eternally.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.