Tag: mommy blog

Merry Friday!!!

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Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!! Happy Holidays! HA! New readers, on Fridays, I am not serious. On Fridays, I keep it on the surface, in the material world. Fridays are called “Favorite Things Friday” here at Adulting- Second Half and that is when I list three favorite songs, books, products, whatevers that I have enjoyed experiencing in my life. I strongly request that you add more to the Favorites, in my Comments. This year, sometimes it is best to keep it all on the surface, as much as you can. The deep waters run really deep this year. Today, it’s Friday, so let’s just float! Floaty Friday! Remember, too, to check out previous Friday blogs to see more favorites.

My regular readers know that my family has three dogs. We have Ralphie, the Labrador, Josie, the rough collie, and Trip, the Boykin spaniel puppy. It has taken me a while to find just the right kibble food for our fur friends. I did research online, I asked friends for suggestions, and I checked in with my vet. For at least a year, I have been feeding a mix of three dog foods that miraculously, all three dogs like to eat. All of our dogs have healthy skin and fur and none of them are overweight. I can order all three of these bagged kibble foods on Amazon, and I can have them delivered right to my door, which is a total back saver. Here is my magic mix of my three favorite dog foods (and of course, I often add in some cheese or broth or chicken or salmon, on occasion).

Hill’s Science Diet Dry Dog Food, Adult, Sensitive Stomach & Skin Recipes – This one boasts prebiotic fiber and chicken meat. I think this is the food that has helped firm up the stools, which is a plus in anyone’s book. My lawn appreciates this dog food.

Victor Dog Food Grain-Free Active Dog and Puppy Beef Meal and Sweet Potato – This dog kibble is particularly suited to active, sporting dogs, which my dogs all are – unfortunately, we don’t count any couch potatoes among our fur family. This one also has a formulation to help with their immune systems, and who doesn’t need a good immune system, this year in particular??

Wellness CORE Natural Dry Dog Food Original Turkey & Chicken – This is another one full of protein and omega oils. This is the one that supposedly boasts a great taste. (I haven’t personally tried it, but my dogs do empty their bowls.)

I have a big container in my garage where I mix all three bags of dog food together and these three bags last me a good month of feeding our fur babies.

Have a great weekend, my dear friends and readers!! Start making out your Christmas/holiday lists. It’s good to have something to look forward to, in the near future!!!

The Book in Your Heart

This has been a strange, limbo-like week for me. I’m still getting over my chest cold. My kids have been leaving our home, for their fall plans, in dribs and drabs. We will take my youngest son up to his apartment, on his college campus, this Friday, and my daughter starts her online classes for her junior year of high school on Monday. The other two boys are already away, doing their thing. My husband just ordered more home office equipment, as what has always felt like sort of a temporary situation – this working from home, is five months into being semi-permanent. I guess that our “official fall schedule” will start on Monday. So, this week, I feel like I am just treading water. This good-bye to summer is dragging out. I’m a little over this “long good-bye.” I’m ready for the next thing. As it is said, the best is yet to come, and I am ready to swim towards it.

Earlier this week we watched a show called, Street Food Latin America. This was a tricky challenge for me, to watch a show centering on delicious food, because I am trying to not eat after dinner every night, as an attempt to shed some of the pandemic pounds that I have put on. Still, the show was a good watch and the most intriguing cook on Street Food Latin America, was a woman named Pato Rodriguez. Her food stand, in the middle of the busy central Buenos Aires mercado, was obviously her life’s passion. In the show, she says that her customers ask her why she doesn’t have any children and she says, “You, my customers, are my children, and you are very spoiled!” And her customers were obviously spoiled. Her concoctions looked amazing. Even though she runs an unassuming food stand in the middle of a giant mercado, Pato Rodriguez has attracted famous Argentinian food critics to come to her stand, and to write about her amazing delicacies (the same writers who do the reviews for Michelin rated restaurants). When someone is absolutely “one with what they do”, so obviously living their passions and their dreams, their joy just oozes out of them. It can’t contain itself, and that joy is so contagious. I instantly liked Pato and I wished for her, nothing but a life filled with continued zeal for her cooking and sharing it with others. I could feel her deep enthusiasm for her life’s work through my TV screen. Here is a quote that she said, that was so right on the money, that I made my husband pause our viewing, so that I could write it down verbatim:

“I realized that people eat first with their eyes, then with their mouths, and then with their hearts.” _ Pato Rodriguez

That quote really made me ponder about how much it applies not only just to food, but to anything that we end up loving in life. At first we see something or someone who intrigues and captivates us, we devour our experience with that thing or that person or that place, and then, no matter what the outcome, whether the experience was a decidedly good one, or a mostly negative one, the moments of our focus on that particular happening in our lives, are imprinted on our hearts forever. The book of our lives, chapter by chapter, is kept in the cozy, safe, warm library of our heart. And we can open the book up and we can read it, and we can savor the experiences or at the very least, learn from the experiences, again and again and again. Our heart stores it all for us. As summer is closing, let a new chapter begin, and may it be one of the very best chapters, in each of our books!

Modern Day Doctor’s Visit

So, I went through a modern day scare yesterday. The backstory is this: Saturday morning I woke up with laryngitis and not even a bad case of it. My voice was just a little raspy. I had been swimming in our pool the night before and I had slept deeply, so I assumed the cocktail of chlorine activated lungs, mixed with some likely mouth-breathing during my deep sleep, helped to create my hoarse, gravelly sounding voice. I had plans to meet four of my dearest friends at a local park shelter (socially distanced, of course) on Saturday morning, so in a text prior to our planned meet-up, I mentioned my laryngitis, and I also mentioned that I had no other symptoms of sickness. No one seemed too concerned and we all had a wonderful visit, keeping our chairs a good distance apart from each other. The rest of Saturday, I felt fine. However, by Sunday, a cough had developed and by Sunday night, I was coughing up a storm, and I was very tired. On Monday, I knew that it was time to call a doctor.

I had my first telemedicine call of my lifetime, late yesterday morning. My doctor is always a bit late for my appointments, and she remained consistent in her ways, but this time, I could go about my business in my house, and I received a text when she was ready to meet with me. In the beginning of quarantine, in a whirlwind of hypochondria induced panic, I purchased a high-tech thermometer, an automated blood pressure cuff and an oximeter, so I was able to give her all of my readings. Everything was good. I could smell and taste anything and everything, and I know this, because I was checking out my scent and taste senses, every five minutes. I had a normal temperature, and my other readings were all normal, but my major symptom was this annoying, persistent dry cough and a tightness in my chest. Before COVID, I would have just written this off as a chest cold and not even a particularly bad chest cold, but in the throws of COVID, I was starting to think about my will, and if my will was updated. I started panicking about my family members, and my friends who I had just met with on Saturday, and an overwhelming feeling of responsibility and shame, washed over me. Did I really need to go shopping last week, just for the hell of it? Was it worth my health, and the health of my family and of my friends, to check out the Steinmart liquidation sale? Yes, I had worn a mask, but are masks really full-proof??? What’s the latest science on masks say today?! Why did the FEDEX delivery man not wear a mask, when he needed me to sign for a package, and more so, why didn’t I insist on him wearing a mask before I did sign for it?? What was even in that stupid package?!? Oh yeah, it was a ridiculously overpriced, pretentious perfume sample that smelled bad. Was anyone’s death worth me trying out a stinky perfume??? Why do I even need perfume right now? The only regular outings I really go to now, are cursory trips to the grocery store, and occasionally to places like Steinmart. Before COVID, it would never have even crossed my mind to go to the doctor with my minor, pedestrian symptoms. I would have felt silly and hysterical. But yesterday, I was inches short of an anxiety meltdown, on top of my annoying, persistent cough.

As expected, my doctor ordered up a COVID test for me. I think by her witnessing my wild eyes and sensing through the computer screen and our wi-fi connection, my high intensity worry over exposing my family and my friends (all middle-aged women with families of their own, including husbands with pre-existing conditions, and one gorgeous, little grandbaby), she felt it necessary to order a rapid test for me. I had to jam a mile long q-tip up my own nose, which caused my eyes to water incessantly, but that was a good release for the tears that had been building for hours in my eyes, as my wild imagination had already conjured up images of hospital rooms, and plastic tubes all over the place, and funerals, and sadness, and shame, shame, shame.

Fifteen minutes later, the results were texted to me. Negative for coronavirus. Thank you for answering my prayers, God. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. These are crazy times, indeed, bringing my own unique brand of crazy out, in all of its shining glory. Now, at least I can cough in peace.

How Bizarre, How Bizarre

Yesterday, as I was digging through my purse to find my keys, masks were falling out of my purse, all over the place, like it was a volcano spewing blue and white lava. Sometimes, when I reflect on moments like these, I sit in awe and wonder and disbelief, at just how completely bizarre my ordinary, suburban life has gotten to be. My friends send “Score!” texts when they find cans of Lysol or Clorox wipes for sale somewhere. Big Brother makes frequent, stern announcements over the speakers in my grocery store, to follow the directional arrows, in the aisles and when the announcement is made, everyone looks like sheepish robbers, while donning our masks, whispering apologies for having our carts pointed in the wrong direction. We’ve made the decision for our daughter to start out school online, fully recognizing that most of the high school teachers are my age and older, and thus, probably as adept with computers as I am, which is terrifying. Anytime anyone in our family coughs or sneezes or complains of a sore throat, the first step for me, is to practice mindful breathing, so as not to go into a full-blown panic attack. The list goes on and on. If we thought life was absurd before COVID, we are definitely in Wonderland territory, now.

“In the sphere of thought, absurdity and perversity remain the masters of the world, and their dominion is suspended only for brief periods.” – Arthur Schopenhauer

“Basically, at the very bottom of life, which seduces us all, there is only absurdity, and more absurdity. And maybe that’s what gives us our joy for living, because the only thing that can defeat absurdity is lucidity.” – Albert Camus

FTFRIDAY

Funny Friday Images

Happy Friday!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!!! Doesn’t Friday just taste like a cool glass of icy water on a scorchingly hot August day?! New readers, Fridays are devoted to the material stuff in life here at Adulting – Second Half. I take off my serious, contemplative hat on Fridays. On Fridays, I list three favorite things, songs, videos, beauty products, food stuff, etc. and I strongly encourage you to list your favorites in my Comments section. Please see previous Friday posts for more favorites, and please check out today’s favorites, below:

Karen Adams stationery – If you are a fan of beautiful old-fashioned paper cards, note paper and paper calendars, like me, you must go to the Karen Adams website. This stationery is some of the prettiest works of art in this genre, that I have seen in a long time. They have a stunning desk calendar that I just had to purchase for 2021, because frankly, 2021 can’t get here fast enough. I hope that 2021 ends up being as beautiful and full of quality, as is the Karen Adams calendar. These items are not inexpensive, because they have hand-done and well-done, discreet glitter accents, but considering how special and rare a handwritten note is these days, isn’t excellent, beautiful stationery worth the heartfelt sentiments being written on it?

Greenboxart.com Masks – Earlier this week I told you about the irreverent and delightful mask I purchased, depicting three angry birds. Well, I went to their website and I found that Greenboxart has four pages of delightfully cute and fun and vibrant masks, mostly depicting animals and nature. If we are going to make masks part of our daily uniform, for the unknown future, they should bring a smile to our faces before we even put them on, don’t you think? Smiley eyes are the best accent, when wearing a mask.

My Life as a Zucchini – If you are one of my regular readers, I know that you were wondering about what movie I picked for the grand finale of Family Movie Night. I picked “My Life as a Zucchini.” This stop-motion, clay-mation movie is short, sweet, funny and poignant. It did not disappoint. You can see it on Netflix and I highly recommend fitting in some time to view it this weekend. The movie is French, and it tells the tale of children in a foster care home. “My Life as a Zucchini” is part comedy/part drama, but whole heart. The movie only runs a little over an hour, which makes a great deal of sense when you think about how painstaking it must be to make a stop motion film. I got us some zucchini fries from PDQ to go along with the theme, and I highly recommend those, too. We devoured them!

Have a great weekend, my dear true-hearted soul sisters (and brothers, too) and friends!!

50 Best 'Friday Quotes' to Kickstart A Happy Weekend — TGIF!

Family Movie Night

I read something yesterday that struck me as very important. It was the question, “Is your soul begging for attention?” Our Soul’s siblings, Mind and Body are loud. They like a lot of attention and they know how to go about getting it. Our Soul sits quietly in the background, like a small, smoldering fire, that is just asking for some kindling and some stoking, to keep it alive and fiery and full of color and energy. Our Soul begs for attention through deep yearnings and leanings and our intuition. Our Soul is always trying to guide us to our life’s purposes, and to our strongest inborn talents and our most innate pleasures.

Early in March, when it became evident that the coronavirus was here to stay and that we would have to quarantine, we called the college boys home, we called our grown son, more than ever, and we called on all six of us, to make the best of a strange, scary situation. It was during these early days of the pandemic, that I heard my Soul begging for my attention. I needed to find a calming, group activity, that my entire family and I, could look forward to sharing together. With very limited options, I came up with “Family Movie Night”. Every Thursday night, one member of our immediate family would pick a movie for all of us to watch together (keeping the choice secret until the 8:00 pm start time) and then, we would discuss the film afterwards. Even my grown son, would watch the same movie, at the same time, and then Facetime with all of us afterwards. My family delighted me with their participation, their kindness, their enthusiasm, and their creativity. My daughter took things to a whole new level when she started decorating to the theme of her chosen movies, with coordinating snacks and goodies. I am the goofy, emotional, book/film nerd of my family and I think, at first, everyone went along with my idea because frankly, there wasn’t much else to do, and they love me and they like to please me. But as time went on, everyone seemed to look forward to “Family Movie Night”, more and more. We all got to see movies which we might have never chosen to watch, but ended up loving and appreciating; we got reacquainted with some really excellent old classics; and we got a lot of cuddle time on our large, semi-circle couch. My soul adored and relished in the attention.

Still, sometimes even really, really good things must come to an end. Everything has its season. With everything opening up more, and the college boys heading back to their campus lives, my daughter’s high school classes about to begin, and my husband’s and my eldest son’s work schedules getting back to a busier fall pace, the time has come for the Grand Finale of “Family Movie Night.” Tonight, I will host the last of nineteen Movie Nights, held in a row.

It’s a strange feeling to feel nostalgia and melancholy about something that hasn’t even ended yet. I knew that I would have to be the one to “officially” close out this chapter in our family’s history. No one else would have the heart to officially mark the end of “Family Movie Night”, but there would be individual excuses to bow out, and the tradition would fizzle and trinkle away, crowded out by penciled up calendars, and needed attention to other activities and obligations and priorities. I honestly didn’t want this tradition to go out, in the way of an aged-out athlete or an oblivious, elder business owner, who can’t move on, nor accept change, thus creating a whole lot of awkwardness and uncomfortable feelings, for everyone involved. I wanted everyone in my family to feel okay about the normal and natural progression of change in life. I didn’t want any guilt or discomfort to be part of what was otherwise. a wonderful memory and enjoyable experience for our family. That’s my job as a mom, right? Our job as mothers, is to nurture our babies so much, that they feel absolutely secure and confident about leaving our nests, and trailblazing their own paths in life. Our job is to make sure that they are paying attention to their Souls. And we do this by being wayshowers. When we pay attention to our own Soul’s yearnings, our children learn to do this for themselves.

I have the Grand Finale movie chosen for tonight. It is still a secret. I haven’t seen the film myself, so it might end up being a bomb, but my family gets a lot of laughs out of the “bombs”, too, so I’m not worried. It will be a good night. It will be a good ending to a great experience. It’s time to close this small chapter out, in the life of our family. I can’t wait to see what comes next for us. If I listen real closely, I know that my Soul will guide me to the next, right thing.

Never Alone

PPT - Stream of Consciousness PowerPoint Presentation, free ...

Yesterday afternoon, while texting with my recently widowed aunt, it seemed to me, that my aunt seemed to be a good bit cheerier than I did, which prompted some kind of deep-rooted shame in me (plus I had a really bad, tossy-turny sleep, the night before) and it started a big, red flag to wave frantically in my mind. At this moment, it became clear to me that I needed an outing. I showered (much needed) and I actually dressed up. I cleaned up nicely. I put on interesting high-heeled wedges which I have hardly ever worn, which ended up paying off later, with a very nice, sincere compliment, from a cute young lady who had a nice, crisp, confident style about her. So who cares that my feet still hurt today from the shoes I wore yesterday? As the old SNL saying goes, “It’s not how you feel, it’s how you look.” I take great pride in my shoe collection. My husband often says that all that he needs to do in order to keep me happy, is to keep me stock full, with puppies and shoes. I drove my convertible with the top down, despite it being ninety-five degrees out. I kept the air conditioning and the stereo cranked. My hair stylist is frustrated that I don’t wear hats more in the summer because she always ends up with a big, brassy mess/nest to contend with, when I finally roll into the shop, usually two weeks too late. I noticed, in the rearview mirror, that I will be getting another tongue lashing from her, next visit. I headed out to an adorably, quaint beach town not too far from my home and perused a few lovely, little gift shops, usually mostly filled with deeply rested and happy tourists, but yesterday, attendance was sparse. One of my other aunts once told me that she made a point of doing all of her gift shopping in her local beach town shops, after Superstorm Sandy wreaked havoc, as a way to support the local community and to keep the shops afloat. I like that altruistic idea, so I made a point to buy a trinket in every shop that I went into, for a little retail therapy for me, doused with some uplift for my community. In one shop, there was this ruffled looking, fluffy, little hen of a dog, who seemed oblivious to me. That got on my nerves. Dogs usually love me. It turns out that the dog’s name was Olivia and after a full five minutes of completely ignoring my high-toned chirping at her, she finally acknowledged my presence and rolled over on to her back, giving me the high honor and the ultimate privilege, of giving her a belly rub. It dawned on me, how very unconcerned dogs are about exposing their bellies to anyone and I thought to myself, “This is just another reason why dogs are better than us.” After purchasing a few other trinkets in another store, I noticed that the shop owner had written, “Your never alone“, in pretty purple handwriting on the lovely little recycled paper gift bag. I found myself being annoyed with the grammatical error, and than even more annoyed with myself, for being so damn nit-picky, when the sentiment, itself, was lovely and something that probably everyone needs to hear these days. Further, I am always making grammatical errors on my blog, in my speech, in my emails, and particularly in my texts (especially when I am in a group text with a friend who won “English Teacher of the Year”, in her state. I always wonder if my frequent and obvious errors are a subconscious passive-aggressive move on my part, or am I baiting her into correcting me, or am I just trying to help her to stay sharp, or (and this is probably the most likely) am I just really sloppy about texting?!?) Anyway, isn’t the meaning or the feeling of a message or sentiment, far more important than how it is conveyed? Does intention count for anything?? I got back into my car and the song, “Box of Sunshine” started playing and I thought, how perfect! My little car, with the convertible top down, is my own little “box of sunshine.” And as I headed to the grocery store, excited to try out my new ridiculously cute and colorful and silly mask that I had just purchased in the store that contained Olivia, the impervious fluff ball with a cute, chubby belly, I realized that I was eager (yes, believe it or not – “eager” is the right word) to don the mask which depicts three angry looking birds with serious consternation expressed on their beaky, little, piercing faces. And then, as I put my own face up towards the wide blue sky, I forgot about my brassy highlights, and my melancholy about the end of summer, and any grammatical mistakes ever made by anybody, and I remembered that I am never alone.

Gift from the Sea

Anne Morrow Lindbergh Quote: The sea does not reward those who are ...

Yesterday, I was reminded of one of my favorite little tomes of all time, Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. We had a family boating day, and while my husband and my middle son were silently fishing, my eldest son and my daughter and I swam over to a tiny little island to explore what treasures might be found. My gift from the sea, yesterday, was a lovely, surprisingly vivid, pink feather. My gift from the sun, yesterday, was a not-so-lovely pink sunburn. We used up an entire can of 50 level sunscreen, and yet still, the entire family is donning our (in various shades of pinkish tan, all the way to glaring red), badges of shame. It’s disconcerting to reach the age in life, where you have lived an entire cycle of boastful pride to shameful mortification, for the exact same behaviors. When I was a kid, having a tan was a badge of pride and honor. Any level of obvious sun exposure to your skin, suggested that you were lucky and prosperous enough to visit somewhere (even if it was just the neighborhood pool) to have enough leisure time to lay out and bake in the sunshine. We didn’t have iPads or phone games back then, so picking at our peeling skin was a strangely satisfying past-time. Now to be clear, I have witnessed family members and friends, deal with various degrees of skin cancer, so I know that where we are in the cycle of “it is shameful to have a suntan”, is where we should probably stay. Progress is not a backwards motion. Lately, it seems to me that rapid changes in societal beliefs and technological advances and scientific discoveries are happening at such warp speed, that it makes me feel like perhaps in a lot of ways, in a lot of my life, I was doing everything entirely wrong, and that I was often looking at things through a faulty, cloudy lens. But that’s not really true, is it? Growth happens all of the time. We start from a tiny little speck and we grow from there, constantly being influenced by internal and external forces, that help mold us into our latest uploads and versions of ourselves. We are works in progress, all of us, and that is true of all living things. Most of us are doing the very best we that we can, every single day. We deserve to give ourselves a break, like perhaps a relaxing day on the beach. Only next time when I give myself a restful day outside, I’ll bring two cans of sunscreen and a wider-brimmed hat. I’m not too prideful, to learn and grow from my experiences, in order to become the latest, best version of me.

gift from the sea Archives - Bookish Illuminations

Over and Out

My friends and I were texting about all the things which we have found ourselves “overdoing” during this virus crisis. We’ve been over-eating and/or over-drinking and/or over-spending on frivolous impulse items, just to try to make ourselves feel better in the moment. My one friend said that we must add “over-thinking” to the list. It’s true, isn’t it? There is something strangely lulling, yet also at the same time, rather titillating, about obsessing over COVID numbers or big storms or upcoming elections or “masks versus no masks” or the economy or back to school procedures. But no matter whatever we are over-indulging in, the relief is always fleeting and temporary. And then, much like any type of an addiction, the relief quickly wears off, often turning into remorse and regret and shame, which triggers our need for temporary “fixes” again, starting the cycle all over again.

It always comes back to mindfulness, doesn’t it? When we can become our own detached observers, and we notice when we have tipped our toes too deep into the overindulgence arena, in any of the various facets of our own lives, that is when we can mindfully choose different options for ourselves. When we notice our emotions and triggers, and we can find healthy alternatives for self soothing, we find that the overwhelming emotions will pass sooner than we thought they would. When managed healthfully, no regret will be left in the wake of a passing negative emotion. In fact, working on changing bad habits, can give us a sense of control in our lives, and who doesn’t want to feel like they have a little bit more control back, in these unsure times in the world?

I like this simple, concise meme about how to change bad habits:

Quotes about Breaking Bad Habits (27 quotes)
Quotes about Changing habits (42 quotes)

Animal Love Story

Josie, our collie, was teaching Trip, our spaniel puppy some yoga yesterday. It’s good for them to practice yoga, both mentally and physically. I should have joined in. (I’m giddy in excitement because our eldest son comes home today for a visit, but I’m not going to say anything because the superstitious part of me, just doesn’t want to jinx it.) Speaking of cute animals, did you see the news story about Hubert and Kalisa, the aging African lions at the Los Angeles zoo? (I cannot wait to see our son. We haven’t seen him, in person, since Christmas due to this damn virus. But again, I’ll just keep this upcoming visit, to myself.) Hubert and Kalisa were best friends and partners, and were rarely seen apart. They were euthanized together yesterday, because they each had quite a bit of ailments, at their ripe age of 21 years, which is apparently a very, very long life for a lion. (Of course, there is all sorts of drama with my son flying in, because besides the virus fears, we are watching the path of the hurricane, whose name I can’t pronounce (Why do we even have to get creative with names of storms, these days?!?) very closely. But I’m just going to keep my fears to myself and I am just going to stay positive.) I think that Hubert and Kalisa were like the regal, real life fur edition of The Notebook. (I can’t wait to announce on the blog that my son is safely in town, tomorrow. My readers are going to be so surprised and so very happy for me.)