Tag: middle age

The Price

“You cannot have diamonds without paying the price. Even those who come by their diamonds via gifting, pay the diamond price one way or another. It is something to consider before purchase or reception.” _ unknown

(I think that the quote above is a fancy, riddle-ly way to say, “Be careful what you ask for.”)

Ever since the Mega Millions lottery has been over $500 million dollars, I’ve been buying a couple tickets. Why not? Whomever wins has the same abysmal odds as I do. It’s actually been an interesting, life-affirming self-awareness exercise. In thinking of what I would do if I won, I immediately thought about how I would want to keep the winning of the Mega Millions relatively secret, not just for safety, and not out of greed, but mostly because I wouldn’t want much to change in my life, at all. Of course, I would want to help out my friends and my family but I think that I would do so, in nonchalant, secretive ways. I wouldn’t want the important relationships in my life to change, and I am old enough, and I am wise enough to know that they inevitably would, if I were revealed to be an instant multi-millionaire.

We were having a Facetime catch-up with our three sons last night, and our middle son who is currently in medical school, said that he and some of his fellow students were talking about what they would do if they won the Mega Millions (which is now currently worth more than a billion dollars). Would they finish medical school? Would they go on to practice medicine? My son said that he thinks that he would finish pursuing his medical degree, but he is not sure if he would go on to do his residency. Some of his friends said that they would quit altogether. That made me sad. It is incredibly difficult to get into medical school. (I witnessed the process with my own eyes. I have mad respect for those in the medical fields. It’s one of those needle in a haystack processes, getting into medical school, and then being totally dedicated to the daunting undertaking of seeing it all through.) It made me secretly hope that none of these students would experience huge windfalls before they realized their dreams. We desperately need dedicated, smart, resilient people in our healthcare system.

I’ve written previously about a babysitter we had for our first son, when we were new parents. Her family won millions in the lottery. Her father told me that the best part of winning the lottery for him, was feeling “secure.” Later I learned that our babysitter’s parents divorced, and her father and her brother were killed in a four-wheeling accident. Security comes in many forms, and security comes in many illusions.

That being said, I’ll probably buy a couple of Mega Millions tickets before Friday. It’s fun to get caught up in the excitement. And if I win, you may never know . . . .

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Keep On

credit: @tinybuddha, Twitter

I have often thought that one of my biggest blessings in my personal life is that I get a lot of joy out of the little things. Like for instance, I spent all day yesterday in delicious, giddy anticipation of another episode of Better Call Saul being released to Amazon. All day long, I reminded myself, “We get to watch Better Call Saul tonight!” (and even more exciting was the fact that 89-year old actress Carol Burnett was featured in this particular episode. I watched The Carol Burnett Show all the time, when I was a little kid. Carol still has “it”! And earlier yesterday, my friend texted Joni Mitchell performing her incredible song, “Both Sides Now” at a recent folk festival. Joni is 78 and suffered from a debilitating brain aneurysm in 2015. The message I got from the Universe yesterday: Just keep doing what you love. Do what you love until you can’t do it. Love sustains you. Love creates you. Keep doing what you love in some form or another, until you can’t do it anymore. Be yourself until the very end. So, on that note, you and I will be here at the blog on a daily basis for a long, long time. I hope that you’ll stay with me!)

I typically reserve poetry for Sundays. However, I read a poem yesterday that profoundly touched me and I feel the need to share it today. We have an extended family member who has been riding a roller coaster of major health issues all month. This situation has been incredibly stressful and painful for her, and for all of us. I found myself doing my typical, yet not helpful habits of future-tripping, ruminating, second-guessing, etc. This poem helped me to find my center. If you need some summer centering, I hope that this poem touches you, too:

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

What Matters

Some things matter and some things don’t. The journey of life is about discovering the difference.

~ Alan Cohen

I love the story I read over the weekend in People magazine. A little girl was on a flight with her parents, and as they left the flight and were walking in the airport, in the wee hours of the morning (I think around 2 a.m.), the little girl panicked realizing that she had lost her first baby tooth and that she didn’t have it with her. It had probably fallen out on the plane. A pilot, seeing the little girl’s distress, promptly came over and wrote a note, vouching for the lost tooth, for the little girl to give to the Tooth Fairy. The note asked the Tooth Fairy to accept the note in lieu of the tooth. I am sure that the Tooth Fairy accepted the note.

Kindness matters.

I also read an excellent article by Paul Sutherland in Spirituality & Health magazine. The article was talking about perspective. He wrote this:

“I have been immersed in spirituality and religion my whole life. I met a few “repent or go to hell” fearmongering Christians, Muslims, and Jews along the way. Listening to the frown-lined devotee who is keen to save my soul, I ask: “Are you happy?”

I pause for their answer. I then ask: “Are you saved, or content that your life is reflective of Moses, Jesus, or Muhammed, or whoever guides your worship?”

I then listen and simply say, “Seems if I had a personal relationship with God, was feeling guided by God’s presence, and had faith, I would be so happy, optimistic, and joyful that I would hardly be able to contain myself. I certainly would not be running around judging people and tearing down those God created in God’s image.”

Paul also told the story about lamenting about all of the world’s ills to one of his teachers. His teacher let him go on and on and then said firmly, “Paul. Suffering exists so we have something to do.” Paul Sutherland ended his article with this statement:

“I realize that, actually, suffering can be our call to optimism, to act, to hope, and to work for a world where every person goes to bed feeling safe, happy, loved, full, connected, and optimistic about tomorrow.”

Perspective matters.

Masaru Emoto, a famous Japanese author and researcher, studied water crystals and what the effects of words and feelings have on water crystals. Here is an example of some of his findings:

Whether you believe these findings about water crystals to be true or not, we already know what Emoto was trying to convey:

Gratitude matters. Wisdom matters. Truth matters. Peace matters. Love matters.

It appears what really matters in this world, are those things which are eternal and recognizable to all of us, no matter our age, our country, our language, our backgrounds, our educations, and our beliefs.

Love matters. Love matters. Love matters.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

credit: Rex Masters, Twitter

I hope that everyone is staying cool and comfortable and financially solvent this summer.

The wisest thing that I have read lately is from Taylor Blake, a young woman and a Florida farmer, who has recently received some fame for videos that she has put out on social media, featuring one of her dearest pets, an emu named Emmanuel. Taylor was recently a guest on the Jimmy Fallon show. This is what she recently wrote:

“I spent years of my life hating myself and blocking my own blessings because I allowed other people’s opinions of me to rule my life. I don’t care if you don’t think I am funny. I don’t care if you don’t like me. I love me and I will continue to create content that makes ME happy. <3”

That’s all I’ve got for a Monday. Have a great week!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Foothold

credit: @Chicanatravels, Twitter

Over a decade ago, I talked my husband into get a pedicure with me (his one and only professional pedicure). His poor technician gained muscles and my husband went down a shoe size. This meme pricked this hint which I keep getting from the Universe, to clean out my cabinets. I have 8,364 facial products and I tend to mix them all together (I’m an amateur chemist), so I have no idea what actually works, or if any of them even do.

I was walking barefoot in the grass this morning while taking my dogs out. That is one of the most healing things that you can do for your feet, and your spirit and your heart. I read once that when ever you need to feel grounded and peaceful and comforted, walk barefoot in the grass and chant “Pachamama” which is the Incan word for “Mother Earth.” Try it. It works. Despite all of our mistakes and taking her for granted, Mother Earth does all that she can to keep us comforted and whole.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Friday Frolics

Happy Friday, dear readers!!! Happy Best Day of the Week!! I just read this quote from tut.com:

“From where I sit, it is a mystery to me, how so many can look back on their past with pride, yet frown with disappointment at their present. Somehow forgetting that back then, they were just as self-critical . . . “

Just for this weekend, don’t allow yourself to be self-critical. Nothing is nearly as important as it seems. Last night at dinner, my husband, our youngest son and I were laughing so hard as we were recounting the different times in which he and his siblings had gotten into trouble with us, when they were little kids and the various “punishments” we served. I am sure, that at these times, our kids were probably literally sick to their stomachs, and I was my own judge, juror, and executioner about my mothering skills, but now these recollections have all turned into silly, funny, and perhaps even “fond” memories. As I have been told many times in my own life and I will now repeat to you, “Lighten up!” Friday is an easy day to lighten up.

On Fridays, I stay lightened up by sharing a material favorite of mine, whether it be a product, a website, a service, a game, a book, etc. and I ask that you share your favorites in my Comments. I used to list three favorites on Fridays, here at the blog, but that got hard on a weekly basis, so I have whittled it down to one favorite, although today I am going to share one favorite, plus a bonus favorite. Without further ado:

The Umbrella Academy (Netflix) – I typically avoid comic book/super hero/apocalyptic type movies/TV shows as if they were COVID themselves, but for some reason, my husband and I got to watching episode one of The Umbrella Academy and now I am hooked. I like the character development, the unusual story line, and the visuals. It’s a show that makes me want to be more imaginative and creative in my own life and thoughts. It inspires stepping outside of the box. If you are looking to shake things up in your own preferences and psyche and everyday life, I recommend giving this show a look.

Bonus favorite: Fresh Market’s Almond Amaretto Coffee – Even if you don’t drink coffee, buy a bag of this stuff and liberally sniff the bag all day long. I’m not sure that there is a better smell on earth, other than newborn babies. And if you do love coffee, this is taking coffee to a whole new level. If you drink black coffee, this is a calorie free dessert. What could be better??

Have a fantastic weekend!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Your Win

Simon: Trust me. I needed you today.

I couldn’t agree with Simon Cowell more. My friend sent this video to our text chat this morning and it turned my mood all the way around. This is Chapel Hart, a country music trio from a small town in Mississippi who wrote and performed a modern comeback to Dolly Parton’s “Jolene”, called “You Can Have Him, Jolene”. If you want to get your energy revved up this morning, and to feel inspired and empowered, listen to this amazing performance.

Chapel Hart: “We’ve been tryin to break into Nashville the last couple of years but it’s been kind of hard . . . I think country music doesn’t always look like us . . . .”

Simon: ” . . . . Sometimes you just got to break down that door.”

Howie: “You say country music doesn’t look like you. That is your win because you are going to be the original.“

What Howie Mandel said to Chapel Hart is applicable to all of us. YOUR WIN is your originality. You are an original. There has never been, nor will there ever be another one of you, with all of your distinctions, traits, mannerisms, perceptions, talents, gifts, experiences etc. Your win is when you empower yourself to be the truest, most authentic version of your best, original self. And then your win becomes our win, because we get to experience the fullest, most amazing version of the most original state of the one and only you. Trust me. We need you today. You need you today. Your win is our win, when you let yourself be your fullest, most original self.

Chapel Hart: Whatever your dreams, it doesn’t matter how crazy they are or how outlandish it is, if they say it isn’t a “real” job, you just show them that it is.”

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Snack Time

Credit: @eatinerni, Twitter

Eatinerni posted this picture with the line: “Follow me for more (great) recipes.” I love this dish. I’ve been making it since I was an early adolescent. And don’t be intimidated, it’s really easy to make. I can’t vouch for its nutritional value, however.

“We crave stability and we bore easily in it.” – Nicole LePera

I love this quote. I feel like this quote is the story of my life. I get to making things “simple-d down to nothing” any time my life feels chaotic and out-of-control, and then I start getting antsy, twiddling my thumbs, wondering how to jumpstart my mojo again. And this makes me sound like someone who can never be pleased, which is my least favorite kind of person in the world. Yuck.

I hope that we all can find our “happy medium” soon, not just individually, but in our institutions. I think that this is something that we are all desperately needing right now. The extremes are fraying our collective nerves. And it ain’t a pretty sight.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

My Advisor

I’m having a little bit of writer’s block. It doesn’t happen to me often, but nothing is stirring me, except perhaps the heat, and the humidity, and feeling a little stuck in my process of trying to move comfortably into the Empty Nest.

As I was writing the above sentences, my daughter texted me (she started her freshman year of college this summer). The text said this:

“Just had the best meeting with my advisor! He is so nice and I got all of my problems fixed lol.”

I found this comforting for many reasons. We all need to have meetings with “My Advisor.” “My Advisor” has a way of making everything seem easier, under control, and reassuring that all of our problems will be fixed. Do you need to schedule an appointment with your own “My Advisor”? Is this meeting a little overdue? Find a way to fit in a meeting in with your “Advisor” today in whatever form that takes for you: prayer, nature walk, meditation, quiet time, etc. It will be the best use of your time today. I promise.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Monday – Funday

Mondays seem to be a good day to talk about apologies for messing up. All of my horoscopes today seem to be warning me to be careful with what I say, and how I say it. (I’m a Sag – this should be a daily, flashing red light warning for me.) I saw this quote in a store the other day:

“Apologize for your mistakes, not your feelings.“

Make sure that when you apologize, you have actually done something wrong, or hurtful. You never should apologize for just being you (and that includes having and experiencing your feelings). And for when you do make mistakes, remember this:

“Go get a plate and throw it to the ground.

Did it break? Yes.

Now say sorry to it. Sorry.

Did it go back to the way it was before? No.

Do you understand now?” – Mindset for Quote

I think that this is a good reminder that apologies don’t fix everything. That being said, I think that an apology is the first step towards amends. You can either leave the plate lying on the floor, broken to pieces, or you can express your deepest apologies, and do your best to glue it back together. Will it be the same as before? No. But, if the plate is gingerly cared for, and shown that it is worth being glued back together, perhaps what comes of it, may be even more beautiful and precious than it ever was before. I wrote about this years ago, when I talked about the Japanese process of Kintsugi:

Beauty in Brokenness

Have a great week!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.