RIP – Suzanne Somers I was such a fan of Three’s Company. It always made me laugh and Suzanne’s character, Krissy was probably the funniest. Here are some of Suzanne Somers’ best quotes:
“All my careers had hit walls at various points, but I made sure to reinvent myself and kept going.”
“Creativity is life.”
“What I really need is for people to know that I don’t just do this, I do this and this and this and this. We all have creativity in us and we all are multi-dimensional and we are all interested in a lot of things… and that women are fabulous. We can handle a lot of things.”
“I sell my problems. I’m a woman with problems. I’ve had problems since the day I was born. And I have found a way to turn my problems into assets.”
“Writing is my greatest passion because I can share the things that matter most to me with you.”
“Wisdom is the gift of aging; no young person can have or buy it. My success was and is self-evident. I’m alive. I’ve lived. I’ve thrived and have grown as a person. I’m now healthier than ever. Who can argue with that?”
“I’ve learned to follow the flow that life takes you on. Don’t fight it because you’ll probably end up doing the right thing.”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I was unexpectedly delighted yesterday when I opened up my Kindle app. A while ago, I had pre-ordered a children’s book of poems by Bob Odenkirk (of Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul fame) and it had just been downloaded to my Kindle. The book is called Zilot & Other Important Rhymes and it is adorably illustrated by Bob’s daughter, Erin. The book is engaging and silly and creative and fun. It’s a book that reminds me very much of Shel Silverstein’s offerings. Children and grown-ups alike, will delight in reading Zilot & Other Important Rhymes.
I devote Sundays to poetry on the blog. Here is “Lollygagging”, one of the poems from Zilot. I hope that you get a chance to do some real lollygagging of your own this Sunday:
“Lollygagging”
There’s not enough lollygagging
going on around here,
and daydreams are in short supply.
The whole week is jammed
with to-dos and to-don’ts.
No one is gazing at clouds in the sky.
THERE’S SO MUCH NONSENSE TO ACCOMPLISH!
I simply can’t do it all alone . . .
I’ll think stray thoughts and you mutter drivel.
You walk in circles and I’ll tunelessly whistle.
We’ll pandy about the most pointless of piffle
and cram this day full
of jabber and jibble.
We’ll aim to aim aimlessly
and traipse about spaciously
and fart around graciously
and fritter tenaciously.
Let’s not focus nor work
on what’s “necessary” or “needed.”
Let’s get down to beeswax
and get our lollygagging completed!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I really enjoy listening to the speeches given by Deion Sanders, the former professional football and baseball player, and now head football coach of the Colorado Buffaloes, college football team. Deion has always been passionate, intense, and inspirational. He’s been an attention-seeking and an attention-getting character since he first started emerging as a big football star at Florida State University. He went on to mostly be known for his years playing in the NFL (while playing major league baseball in the off season), winning two Super Bowls during his career, and once being named “NFL Defensive Player of the Year.” Deion Sanders’ latest gig is being “Coach Prime”, the head football coach for the Buffaloes, for whom two of his sons play on the team. Yesterday, the Buffaloes lost to Stanford, 46-43 in double overtime. This happened despite a 29-0 Buffaloes lead at halftime. Needless to say, Coach Prime was not happy. Needless to say, Coach Prime hates to lose. Before I touch on the part of Coach Prime’s press conference which was held after the game- the part which really got me to thinking, I should mention that five hours ago, Coach Prime tweeted this: “Lord I thank u for everything. I’ve learned to accept the bad with the good because if it weren’t for the bad I wouldn’t know what Good is.” Four hours ago, a member of the Colorado sports press, Brian Howell tweeted this statement: “Side note: Before the season, a lot of people wondered how Deion Sanders would be after losses. I’ll say this: Win or lose, he’s been great with media after games. Clearly upset tonight but told us, “You deserve my best and I’m gonna try my best to give it to you.”
Clearly, at age 56, Deion Sanders seems to have matured a great deal, and he works to be an example for the youth whom he coaches. During the press conference, Deion was visibly disappointed and frustrated with how the game ended. He spoke a lot about complacency and how much he can’t stand complacency. This is how the Oxford Dictionary defines complacency: “a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements.”
Here is the part of his conference that perked my ears up enough to really think about it and to write about it this morning:
“Make up your mind whether you’re in love with this game or you are in like with it. When you like it, that’s just a button you push. That’s what we do on social media. I, without a shadow of a doubt, am 100 percent in love with this game. When you love something you give to it unconditionally. You give it everything you got. Match me with my passion. Match me with my heart. Match me with my love. Match me with my consistency. . . .I love (the game) so much, but the game don’t even occupy the ability to love me back, that’s a strange love isn’t it?”
No, Deion, that’s not strange. That is the actual definition of true, unconditional love. I decided to use Deion’s speech for myself, for use in my own life. Perhaps you would want to join me in this little exercise? I have decided to list (privately) about five activities/occupations/roles in my life that I believe are the most important things to me. I am going to ask myself if I have grown complacent in any of these areas. I want to make sure that the people/places/things/actions which I am in love with, are getting my full passion, my heart, my love and my consistency. I don’t want to just smugly press “the like button” on the things which mean the most to me. That’s not living fully. That’s not living passionately. That’s not living with the unconditional love which is given to us freely, with the gift of life. Thank you, Coach Prime. I got the message. And it’s a beautiful message and not strange at all.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Friday is the day for surfacy, lightness on the blog. Fridays are for favorites. On Favorite Things Friday, I share one of my favorite things and I ask you to share your favorites. Before I actually get to sharing one of my favorite physical things, I want to share a great quote by the author Byron Katie:
Don’t be afraid to question your own beliefs. Make sure that these beliefs are truly yours, and that they from that all-knowing, wise, comforting voice from inside of yourself and from the depths of your own heart.
My favorite for today is Skinny Dipped Almonds. They are chocolate covered nuts which are thinly dipped with just a light covering of chocolate. They are just the right mix of sweet and salty. In my mind Skinny Dipped Almonds are amazing-tasting-candy-with-less-guilt. My favorite flavor would be the Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter variety. So good!
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Around a couple of weeks ago, I went for my yearly routine mammogram which I have faithfully done since my early forties. I’ve always been blessed to have it come back normal and I wasn’t expecting anything different this time around. I casually looked up my results in my patient portal, as I was sitting under the dryer at my hair salon. I gulped when I noticed that there were two pages, instead of the usual simple paragraph that essentially stated “all is well.” I then noticed that I had a voicemail waiting in my inbox from my primary care doctor. Ugh. I tried to remain calm and even, but I’ve been going to my hair stylist for years. I consider her to be a friend. She could read the dread on my face in one second, so I told her that my mammogram had come back with some issues, and I needed to set up further testing. My hair stylist tried to reassure me, and she told me that one time she had gotten called back, and even had to have “markers” inserted, so they could watch areas in her breasts more closely, year-to-year.
I’m not proud to admit that everything which I espouse on this blog, went out the window that night. After I scheduled my follow-up testing appointment, I stewed in my emotional abyss. My emotions were turbulent. I was admonishing myself for letting the last few stressful years, literally eat me alive. My imagination kept driving me to the worst case scenario, and it was demonically parking me there.
However, I am not one who likes to stay in the land of “Feel Bad” for long. I tend to feel my emotions immediately and robustly and fully, and then I try to move on. I reached out to family and friends for support and for prayers. Dr. Google states that about 10 percent of women are called back for more testing after their routine mammograms. From my informal survey, it seemed that around 60-70 percent of my friends had been called back at least once, and thankfully, not one of them has ever been diagnosed with breast cancer. We all seem to belong to the Dense Breast Club, which makes us more likely to need more testing. I knew that the hardest part of this ordeal was going to be the limbo time before I could get into the imaging center for further testing. At first, that time period was looking to be about three weeks, as the closest appointment which the imaging center had available, was closer to the end of this month. As I tried to steel my nerves, my youngest son texted me this: “Okay, I know you are probably a bit anxious right now, so you know, follow all of the advice you would typically give to me and know that is going to be okay.” Our youngest son lives with epilepsy, so I knew that I had to be brave, if not for me, then for my family, and for trying to live the peaceful philosophies that I have delved into, and I so deeply believe in. I had to “walk the talk.”
And so, for the most part, I did walk my talk. And then, amazingly, I lucked into a cancellation spot and so I was able to have my follow-up testing yesterday. The specialists did a more advanced mammogram on me, and they were still unclear about what they were seeing, so they performed an ultrasound next. My husband was with me. He is my rock. I was scared. I was nervous, but I also knew that whatever came of it, I would be able to handle it. I am blessed with faith, and loving relationships, and I know that society and medicine have come so far in the early detection of breast cancer and viable treatments. I knew, like my son reminded me, that no matter what, I was going to be okay.
Thankfully, it turns out that the areas of concern on my mammograms turned out to be two cysts and a lymph node, and they told me these results, a few minutes after the test. The radiologist stated that I did not need to come back for another year. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. (I’m on my knees.)
There is a naughty, foolish part of me, that sometimes would prefer to keep my head stuck in the sand. “What I don’t know, can’t hurt me.” I sometimes trick my brain into playing Jedi mind tricks on myself. “Total health and wellness, you are,” my inner Yoda likes to say. And truthfully, I think that the Jedi mind tricks are a good medicine to keep taking, as long as I keep taking them, with the prudent steps available to me from modern medicine. Mind and body and spirit are all interwoven, and they have a lot of influence on each other.
Before I got my final results yesterday, a calmness came over me. I feel a deep purpose in being the matriarch of my family. I feel a deep purpose in sharing wisdoms which I have learned, to be cataloged on this blog for myself and anyone else who cares to read them. I feel a deep purpose for following my innate curiosities about learning more about all of the fascinating people and things and experiences to be had in this world. I had an innate sense yesterday, that my purpose is not completed yet. My mission is still going strong. A sense of purpose may very well be the true pulse of life. One of the slogans used during Breast Cancer Awareness month is this: “Hope unleashes your superpower”. There is no doubt in my mind that hope and purpose are indeed, superpowers.
Ladies, if you haven’t already, schedule your yearly mammogram. Do it now.
“Breast friends get screened together”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
I have some early morning appointments so I won’t be writing much on the blog today. I do have a plan, though. Today, let’s all of us, let our souls come out of their hiding places, in a big, big way. Clearly, the the world needs a whole lot more love to flow, in order to let the light of our souls shine through all of the darkness. Give some love to whomever you come across today. Let your soul meet their soul. You both will be so much better off for it. This is often a tough world to comprehend for our timeless, peaceful, light-filled souls. But all souls, even the most hidden, “locked up, and chained up, and stuck in a dark basement” kinds of souls, all have the power to recognize the deep and powerful energy of love. Love is kind. Love has empathy. Love notices and focuses on what we have in common, not our differences. Love has mercy. Love is generous. Love is peaceful and harmonious. Love delights in the miracles of our natural world. As Zora Neale Hurston stated, love is the force that brings your beautiful soul to the surface. Let your soul shine today. The world needs your light. The world needs more light.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
“Courage is knowing it might hurt and doing it anyway. Stupidity is the same. That is why life is hard. . . . . .What is the difference between courage and stupidity in your life? A big part of adulting is not crossing the line where your rebelliousness turns into recklessness. The people who ride this line most gracefully usually have a clear eye on their values and a good friend or two who will tell them when they’re being a dumbass. If you can’t decide if you’re being brave or stupid, call a friend.” _ from the Spiritual AF inspirational deck by Roxan McDonald
Earlier this year, I reluctantly agreed to a plan to go on a trip to Egypt with my husband, this upcoming spring. Visiting Egypt is one of my husband’s biggest dreams for a long time now and although I was nervous and not nearly as intrigued as he is with Egypt, I decided that I should muster up my courage and support him and get excited about sharing another wonderful adventure with him. I spoke at length with a sensible friend who had recently traveled to Israel, and she encouraged me to go. At that time, I think that I was choosing to be courageous, and it seemed to me, at that time, that the benefits of the trip certainly outweighed the risks. Egypt might not have seemed like the most safe place in the world for us to visit, but in light of all of the random shootings which we have here in America, “safe” is a relative term.
However, considering the terrifying events of this past weekend, we have cancelled our plans to travel to Egypt this spring. At this point, courage to go there, clearly seems to me, to be veering far more into the realm of recklessness. At my age, recklessness does not appeal to me at all. It goes without saying, that my sensible friend would most likely agree with our decision to not go, in light of the new information about the particularly unstable, worrisome and devastatingly sad circumstances happening in the Middle East.
I love what Roxan McDonald has to say about the fine line between courage and stupidity. This line gets particularly muddled when strong emotions come into play. That is why it is always helpful to have people whom you trust in your life, to be your sounding boards, and your helpful “voices of reason.” In the end, the final decision is totally yours, as it should be, but it is so good to have other people in your life, whom you deeply trust and who have no other stake in the game, other than the fact that they care about you. These people can help you to clear your vision and to see perspectives that you may not have considered, because your decision making process is already clouded by your own preconceptions and heavy emotions. These sounding boards in your life, also help you to get clear on your own desires and inclinations. If you find yourself strongly protesting and arguing against what they advise, this at least, gives you a clear idea of how you really feel about something and what you, yourself truly wants to do. (It’s like that old, wise adage of flipping a coin to make a decision, and then noticing how you are secretly hoping for how the coin will land, while the coin is still up in the air.)
I believe that my husband and I will visit Egypt one day. (Of course, right now my deepest wish is for a peace and comfort for all of the innocent people who are experiencing so much pain and loss in this horrific trauma, and in other traumas happening all over our world. War is hell.) I also know that this time period is not the time for us to go there. At the very least, my level of anxiety would make it impossible for me (and thus, for my husband) to enjoy ourselves and immerse ourselves in the once-in-a-lifetime experience.
There are no perfect answers and decisions about anything in life. These answers and decisions are as unique and personal, as is each individual person and all of the mitigating circumstances surrounding each person. One person’s courageousness is another person’s stupidity. In the end, though, it always comes back to learning to trust one’s self. You have all of the answers that you need inside of yourself. Sometimes you just need a little help excavating those innate answers, and that is one of the beautiful blessings of having each other.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
Isn’t the cooler weather wonderful?! After such a hot summer, it’s like diving into a cool, refreshing, clear pool of water.
How’s everyone doing? This was a tough weekend. I’m feeling that universal, low-lying, but seeping in kind of stress in the air, like we had when the pandemic first started. And when you have that kind of permeance of uneasiness, swirling all around you, it sort of punctuates your own individual stresses, doesn’t it? Whatever helps you with stress and concern in your mind and in your body and in your spirit, is your own “toolbox.” Don’t forget to open your toolbox, and to use and to utilize your own helpful “tools.” (exercise, prayer, meditation, music, friendships, nature, healthy, wholesome meals, crying, release, easy chores, funny shows etc.) Also, use this as a time to find and to test new, healthy tools to help ease your stress during eventful times.
“Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious. If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another.” – Carl Sagan
“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” – Mother Teresa
“For me, forgiveness and compassion are always linked: how do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?”– bell hooks
“Humanity is good. Some people are terrible and broken, but humanity is good. I believe that.” – Hank Green
“We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings.” – Albert Einstein
“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” – Mahatma Ghandi
“During bad circumstances, which is the human inheritance, you must decide not to be reduced. You have your humanity, and you must not allow anything to reduce that. We are obliged to know we are global citizens. Disasters remind us we are world citizens, whether we like it or not.” – Maya Angelou
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
It’s poetry day on the blog. The finalists for the National Book awards were announced early this past week. John Lee Clark, a deafblind poet is one of the finalists for his book, How to Communicate. John Lee Clark says this:
“Slateku is a form I invented. It’s simple: It is a poem that is written, or could have been written, with the classic Braille slate and stylus. The slate has four rows of twenty-eight cells each. Some think of it as writing backward, pressing down right to left to make dots stand up on the other side, but I think of it as writing forward in a different direction.“
How wonderful to not only write poetry, but to have created a whole new style of poetry! This is inspirational and challenging. Why do all of your stitching in only classic stitches? Is there a dance you could create that wouldn’t fall in the traditional dance categories (hip-hop dancing only came about in the late 1960s)? What about art? Is it possible to do an acrylic-watercolor fusion? What would that look like? What would it be called? The fusion restaurants are everywhere these days, mixing all kinds of traditional food recipes, with other completely unique cultures and traditions. So today, don’t just write a poem, think about creating a whole unique form of poetry. Here are two of John Lee Clark’s slatekus:
What is the point of travel
For a DeafBlind person
Other than the food the people the shops
And all that
And here’s another kind of cheeky one:
The mutant four-fingered carrot
Is in the pot and growing
Sweeter as it relaxes
Its grip
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
The beauty of getting older is being able to look back at decades of being “yourself.” You become more curious about yourself. You become your own mystery to solve. You have experienced enough time at being alive that you start to notice patterns about yourself. What interests, intrigues, and attractions have been a part of you, in one form or another, since you were a child? Why do you have these inherent passions? Is this something that is in your heritage? I find myself getting more and more curious about my ancestors, not necessarily about the relations that are just a couple of generations away, but my lineage from hundreds of years ago. I have the sense that my ancestors are wanting me to explore these connections more fully, now that I am older and less distracted. Do you ever get this sense? The ultimate question and mystery to solve in our lives, for any of us, just may be “Why are you, “you”?” Follow your inclinations, intuitions, and your proclivities. Notice what has remained in your life, in one form or another, throughout your decades of living. Get interested in yourself. You are a fascinating enigma. With a puzzle like yourself to try and solve, you can never be bored.
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
