Who Loves Friday?

I love owls, don’t you? Owls are definitely one of my all-time favorites. We have a noisy one who lives nearby, and hearing “our owl” always makes me happy. Happy Friday!!! Happy Favorite Things Friday!!!

We arrived home from Belgium in the wee hours of Saturday morning. We were exhausted and ready for bed by late afternoon, but we kept trudging on with unpacking and reacclimating. Our youngest son has epilepsy, but it is thankfully usually controlled with his medications. He texts us every morning and every evening to let us know that he took his meds, as a safety measure to make sure that he is on top of taking them. Well, Saturday he had an all-day work event, playing volleyball on the beach, and then he fell asleep when he got home to his apartment with his phone ringer turned off. When we didn’t get his text Saturday evening, and then we couldn’t reach him (despite me calling him 100 times), I was hysterical (exacerbated by my own lack of sleep). Anyway, I won’t get into the fact that I embarrassed him greatly with a police wellness check (all three of our sons had a field day with that one) but all of that hoopla could have been averted with a tip that I just learned from my daughter. iPhone users:

“When you tap on edit, go to the individual’s ringtone and tap there. Scroll to the top of that page and there is a setting for Emergency Bypass. With that switch on, you will receive sounds from that caller even if the phone is on Mute or Do Not Disturb is on.”

This excellent emergency tip is my favorite for this Friday. I’m sorry, I don’t know if other cell phones offer this feature, but it is certainly something to look into for your own peace of mind.

Have a wonderful, safe and easy-going weekend!! See you tomorrow!!

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1849. Have you ever slipped on a banana peel?

Accept It and Come Back

Recently I watched an inspiring video of the tennis great, Novak Djokovic being interviewed about the secret to his success. He said this: “If you lose your focus, if you know . . . . things start to go the wrong way for you, it’s fine. Accept it and come back. And I think that recovery of how long you stay in that emotion is what differentiates you from maybe others. I think the recovery is actually more important than working hard to stay in the present.”

I sent it to my youngest son who is a salesperson. In my way earlier younger years, I was in sales, too. There is a lot of rejection in sales. It can mire you down. But I believe what Djokovic says: feel the pain of rejection, accept it, and then get right back up into recovery mode.

Whatever is going on in your life, accept it. Face the reality of it. “It’s fine.” It’s life. But then put your energy into moving forward into recovery mode. As humans we tend to put a lot of energy in trying to keep things the way we think they should be: steady, problem-free and even-keel. But life doesn’t work that way. And so then we extend a lot of irritated energy into complaining about all of the things that we can’t control in life. As time has proven to us, again and again and again, a lot of life is out of our control. Like Djokovic says, “It’s fine.” It’s life. “Accept it and come back.” Put faith in what you can control which is your attitude and your belief in yourself that you can face and recover from any adversity. You have the tools. Accept it and come back. Accept it and come back. Accept it and come back.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2614. Are you a hypochondriac – or the opposite?

The Glimmers

I read about a good technique yesterday attributed to a writer and psychotherapist named Deb Dana. She says that the opposite of our “triggers”, are our “glimmers”, and it is equally important to know both. We all know our triggers pretty well: “Oh ugh, there’s that annoying neighbor . . . . let me run back into the house or dive into a different grocery aisle. Oh, Negative Nancy is calling . . . . I’ll let that one go to voicemail. Oh, this is a really sad movie that reminds me of a really sad time in my life. Time to turn it off.”

When we know our triggers, we can devise ways to avoid them or to remove them from our lives, but sometimes the negative feelings from the triggers remain. What’s the remedy for the feelings that come from “triggers”? The remedy is to switch to our “glimmers” which are thoughts that make us happy. “Glimmers” can be vacation memories, or thoughts of our children or our pets, or a scene from a show or a movie that makes us laugh out loud. Unfortunately our brains our biased towards negativity (in primitive times, this kept us safe), so it is vitally important to know what our “glimmers” are, when we need to switch out of our triggered state.

List your current glimmers and make it a purpose to find some new ones today. When you find yourself triggered, have your glimmer list handy.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2298. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness, or strength?

Tuesday Muse-day

Happy Passover to my Jewish friends and readers!

+ I watched an Oprah special recently where she mentioned that an expert told her that when we enter the empty nest, we go from the role of “manager” to the role of “consultant”. It’s a tough transition, sometimes. When we were managers, our children had to take our direction, or face the “dire” (tongue-in-cheek) consequences. As their consultants, they can choose to follow our directions or not. As I have been transformed into a “consultant” for a while now (our eldest son is 28), I am often pleasantly surprised to see two things: My adult children actually seem to (sometimes) want my advice, and sometimes they even actually follow it. And even better: My children sometimes don’t follow my advice, and as the results show, their own decisions were the right ones to make. It’s good to see that my babies have good minds of their own.

+ I love this quote that I read yesterday. I think that it describes the idea of “free will” better than any other way I have seen it written or explained. “Somewhere inside we hear a voice. It leads us into the direction of the person we wish to become. But it is up to us whether or not to follow.” – Pat Tillman (who left the NFL to serve in Afghanistan, where he died in 2004)

+ “Our deepest fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasure.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Today’s a seriously serious Full Moon. It’s in Scorpio which is a sign that goes deep and gets real. It’s never afraid to look into the dark shadows. The ancients believed that full moons were times of deep transformation and letting go of what no longer serves you. Scorpio is associated with the phoenix rising from the ashes. This is a perfect day to figure out what needs to be let go of, or transformed in your own life. What activities and experiences (people, places and things) in your own life give you inspiring, loving life energy, and which of these things deplete your life energy and make you feel small? Perhaps making a list of your energy givers, versus your energy depleters will help you to get real with where transformation and change is needed, in order to fill your life with more that “fills” you. Listen deeply for that voice inside of you to shed light on the shadows. Then make small changes in the direction towards the person you wish to become.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

948. Do you spend too much time pleasing others to your own detriment?

Monday – Funday

Credit: cherryman.com

“I counted my years and realized that I have less time to live by, than I have lived so far. I have more past than future. I feel like that boy who got a bowl of cherries. At first, he gobbled them, but when he realized there were only few left, he began to taste them intensely. . . . .The essential is what makes life worthwhile. And for me, the essentials are enough! Yes, I’m in a hurry. I’m in a hurry to live with the intensity that only maturity can give. I do not intend to waste any of the remaining cherries. I am sure they will be exquisite, much more than those eaten so far. My goal is to reach the end satisfied and at peace with my loved ones and my conscience. And per Confucius “We have two lives and the second begins when you realize you only have one.” – excerpts from the poem, “The Valuable Time of Maturity” by Mário de Andrade

There is no better sleep than when you are truly exhausted. I learned that last night when I slept for close to twelve hours. There is no better meal than when you are truly famished. There is no better living than when you realize that your living comes in limited supply. Spend your living on truly living. Savor all that is good in life. Savor your moments. They get spent away every second. Don’t waste “any of the remaining cherries.” Note to self: When you get yourself in a tangle, ask yourself is this good use of my remaining cherries?

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1100. Can you build a house of cards?

Soul Sunday

Jet lag is a real thing. It’s a really real thing. Despite sleeping soundly all night, I feel the need to creep back into bed. Welcome to poetry day on the blog. Any poem which I would try to write, right now, would be even more garbley goop than my original poems usually end up being. Below, this poem speaks to the joys and experiencing of traveling, better than any poem I could ever hope to write. “A journey can become a sacred thing”

For the Traveler

by John O’Donohue

Every time you leave home,
Another road takes you
Into a world you were never in.

New strangers on other paths await.
New places that have never seen you
Will startle a little at your entry.
Old places that know you well
Will pretend nothing
Changed since your last visit.

When you travel, you find yourself
Alone in a different way,
More attentive now
To the self you bring along,
Your more subtle eye watching
You abroad; and how what meets you
Touches that part of the heart
That lies low at home:

How you unexpectedly attune
To the timbre in some voice,
Opening in conversation
You want to take in
To where your longing
Has pressed hard enough
Inward, on some unsaid dark,
To create a crystal of insight
You could not have known
You needed
To illuminate
Your way.

When you travel,
A new silence
Goes with you,
And if you listen,
You will hear
What your heart would
Love to say.

A journey can become a sacred thing:
Make sure, before you go,
To take the time
To bless your going forth,
To free your heart of ballast
So that the compass of your soul
Might direct you toward
The territories of spirit
Where you will discover
More of your hidden life,
And the urgencies
That deserve to claim you.

May you travel in an awakened way,
Gathered wisely into your inner ground;
That you may not waste the invitations
Which wait along the way to transform you.

May you travel safely, arrive refreshed,
And live your time away to its fullest;
Return home more enriched, and free
To balance the gift of days which call you.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1744. How do you feel about the statement, “Home is where the heart is”?

Field Notes

Hi friends. I missed you. I just got back home from my trip after midnight last night. My husband and I were travelling all through Belgium, which is six hours ahead of us on the East coast, so to say that I’m exhausted and out of sorts, is an understatement. Still, I feel the magnetic pull to come to my precious blog, so here I am (still in my robe, most of my stuff unpacked, two loads of laundry under our belts, and lots of loving on our three elated-to-see-us doggies). We chose to go to Belgium because my husband is a huge cycling enthusiast and having watched many European bike races on television throughout the years, he decided that he had to see one in person. When he mentioned going to Belgium, all that I could think of was chocolate, french fries, and waffles. It wasn’t hard to convince me to go. And it was wonderful (especially the chocolate, french fries and waffles.) Here are some of my travel notes:

+ Belgium is a European country about the size of Vermont. For the first time, we rented a car in Europe versus taking the trains. It was so fun and interesting to do it this way. It made me feel more immersed and less touristy than I ever have felt in a foreign country. It was fascinating. Belgium seems to be a microcosm of bigger countries much like the USA. We went to Brussels, but also to other northern cities like Antwerp, and Ghent and the medieval village of Bruges. The northern part of Belgium is highly Dutch influenced, and the people mostly all speak English. The southern parts of Belgium, particularly in Wallonia, are highly influenced by the French, and much fewer people speak English there. The architecture also was notably different as we travelled south, with the northern Dutch buildings and houses being much more ornate. The habits and traditions of the people were markedly different, as well. I suppose ever country has its own version of “the north and the south.”

We spent a lovely night in a teeny, beautiful, mountain town in what is called one of the smallest cities in the world – Durbuy, Belgium, before heading to the town of Huy, where the final finishing stage of the professional cycling race called the La Flèche Wallonne takes place. The cyclists have to climb the Mur de Huy (translation – Wall of Huy) three times to finish the race. The Wall of Huy is a hill with the average gradient of 9.7 degrees although some parts of it, are 26 degrees steep (that’s STEEP). This final climb on the Mur de Huy is after the cyclists have already ridden for miles all day, and also, for many days previous (for instance, the Tour de France lasts 23 or 24 days). Cyclists are tremendously strong, gritty, resilient athletes. What started out as a nice sunny spring race day, ended up being a cold, wet, 40 degree day, with rain, sleet, snow and hail and lots of mud. It was brutal and grueling for the cyclists. Over forty of them had to drop out of the race. It was brutal and grueling for this Florida girl (who is used to sun, heat and no hills) to walk up the “Wall of Huy”, in totally non-waterproof attire, to be a witness to the finish, but my husband was in his own special heaven, and I got a lot of “good wife/friend/partner” points for being a good sport about it all. Honestly, it was thrilling and fun to see the long-standing traditions that go along with the spectator sport of professional cycling, such as the cycling teams’ travel cars throwing candy and hats out to the crowds along the way, and people loudly yelling “Alle! Alle! Alle!” which means “Go! Go! Go!” to the passing cyclists, all the while as the spectators pounded furiously on the boards of the flimsy gates, which only keep spectators slightly apart from the cyclists riding on the road. I had never before witnessed anything like this in person. It was a truly, memorable experience and retrospectively, the dramatic weather changes made it an even more interesting event, and a fun memory forever.

+ As you can imagine, the biggest American imports in Belgium are McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Starbucks, Burger King and Coca-Cola. They do fine with their own brands of beer (we saw the monastery in Dinant where they still produce Leffe beer, which first started being brewed in 1240 A.D.). When we travel, we try to avoid these American staples as much as we possibly can (one time in Austria, we saw an embarrassing display of crappy processed foods like hot dogs, peanut butter and marshmallows, in a grocery store under a huge red, white and blue display sign that said, TASTE OF AMERICA), but this time, when we were travelling between towns, we were starved, and a McDonalds was our only fast option. Interestingly, this Belgian McDonalds sold chicken wings, and burgers with upgraded bakery buns and unusual cheeses. They did not have any ketchup or mustard to offer to us. The Belgians love their mayonnaise for their fries, and there was a curry sauce for the chicken nuggets. Honestly, it could have been because we were starved, but this was truly one of the best McDonalds meals I have ever eaten.

+ Speaking of Americans, I have to give us wonderful Americans a huge shout out. One of our servers, after the bike race, said emphatically, that Americans are the nicest tourists that come to his country (Australians are a close second), and we experienced this first hand. As we were getting on to the first leg of our three plane rides home (Brussels to London), the carry-on luggage space was all filled up. (My husband and I only brought carry-on luggage for this particular trip, because we had several flight stops, and we knew that we would be travelling all over the country. We could not afford to lose our luggage.) So the flight attendants were telling my husband and I, another American woman (who had paid extra, for guaranteed carry-on availability) and a man from another country, that we would all have to check our luggage, all the way through to our final destinations. We were sick about this, as we had valuables and souvenirs, and we had all packed our things like medicine, and whatnot, like we would be able to easily access it. And of course, we did not expect to see our luggage ever again, if we had to check it all the way through like this, right at the door of the airplane, in a foreign country. Needless to say, the other passengers were not thrilled with the hold-up either, as we all waited for our luggage to be taken by the airline’s authorities. The flight attendants worked fervently to make room for two bags, but ours were still needing to be checked. The sympathetic baggage attendant suggested that we ask for volunteers from other passengers whose final destination was to London, to check their bags instead. At first, no one offered to do this when the flight attendant made the pleading request in an announcement. All of the sudden though, two gracious American women, a mother and a daughter, offered to check their bags and thus, we were able to keep our luggage with us. These wonderful women wouldn’t even accept lunch/Starbucks money from us, as a token for their kindness. If ever I have felt a duty to pay a kindness forward, it is now. If I were in their shoes, I’m not sure that I would have done the same thing. But now I will (I suppose this is how kindness spreads.) I was so completely and utterly grateful to these women, but truthfully, also so very proud, and yet not really surprised that they were generous, kind, empathetic Americans.

+ My favorite story of the trip was when we spotted a boutique in the Sablon area of Brussels called 29th/October. This is my husband’s and my wedding anniversary date. We will be happily married for 30 years, this October. I had to go in and get a souvenir. It felt like kismet! Well, the story gets even better, because as I went to purchase the bracelet which I carefully picked out, I was waited on by the owner of the shop, who was a young woman who was also the artist who had created my bracelet. It is signed by her. And she was overjoyed to hear that October 29th was our anniversary, as she loudly called her mother (who was helping in the shop) over to meet us. It turns out that October 29th was named after her parents’ wedding date, and this young woman was one of their four children. (We have four adult children, too!) These kinds of stories are what make me the happiest. Goosebumps, for sure.

+ What I love most about travel is the humbling perspective it gives to you. We are all just one teeny, weeny part of this whole thing that we call Life. I felt like I saw millions and millions of people as I travelled around in one small country, on one of our smallest continents. When I purchased a candle made by a wife of a supposedly extremely famous celebrity in Belgium, the clerk was shocked that I had never heard of these people. One night, as we exhaustedly laid in our hotel bed and flipped through the TV shows (all French), it was funny to see a version of our HGTV show, House Hunters. If you think our kitchens are outdated, you should see some of these European houses’ kitchens that looked they could have been over a hundred years old!! There was also a show that appeared to be like Survivor, but it took place in castles, and the contestants were called traitors. I suppose what I am trying to say, is that the world isn’t all about ‘us’ – not even close. But I actually find this to be a relieving and comforting thought. Perhaps if we just trust Life, enjoy our experience of it all, and be truly engaged with our experiences, and then try to be kind, and leave mostly good along our way, I really believe that’s all that we need to do, or are meant to do. It really is that simple. I am also astonished, as I travelled around one small country, on one of our smallest continents, how much beautiful countryside still exists everywhere. My husband and I drove through miles and miles of gorgeous country fields dotted with patches of brilliant yellow rapeseed (an unfortunate name for a beautiful flower) and enjoyed standing under enormous trees in Bruges that had to have been hundreds of years old (despite the common Belgian custom of pollarding, which is to constantly prune the trees so that they stay in their adolescent stage – must we really project our fear of aging on to the trees?!?). We still have a lot of natural beauty and abundance all over this planet. Nature is honestly usually the most astonishingly beautiful thing that I ever witness on any of my trips, even after witnessing unbelievably grand works of architecture and art. I went up to one big tree in a field in Bruges and the first thing that I noticed on the tree’s enormous girth, was a tiny red ladybug. Both the colossal tree and the teeny insect have their own place, and their own experience on this Earth, and they seem to know to savor the experience and to blissfully share it with each other. Perhaps part of their experience on this Earth, is to serve as pure examples of peaceful, beautiful, trusting beings which remind us to be the same way.

+ And a bonus favorite, since I missed Favorite Things Friday, yesterday: Despite watching a few movies on my flights that left me wondering why anyone even thought that these particular movies should have ever been made (I nickname these types of movies, “This Just Has To Get Better at Some Point, Right???” movies), I did enjoy a gem. Watch Jules. It was one of the sweetest, most heartfelt, amusing movies I have seen in a long, long while.

It’s good to be back, friends. There really is no place like home! Thank you for staying with me during my break from writing, and thank you for indulging me with my “field notes”. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. See you tomorrow.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1699. What is the last song you danced to?

A Little Break

Stream of thought:

For some strange reason, my childhood mailman came to mind this morning. (that’s sort of an oxymoron, “mailman- maleman”) His name was Joe and despite living in Pittsburgh, PA the man was always deeply suntanned, before tanning beds became a thing. Joe wore his hair in a pompadour like James Dean and he walked up to each of our homes, as our mailboxes were hung right next to our front doors. He smoked long brown cigarettes as he delivered the mail, and Joe was always friendly to us kids, keeping rubber bands around his wrist and giving them to us when we pestered him for them. Do you remember your childhood mailperson? What about your bus drivers? Your school janitors? Particular teachers? Some people just have a way of “sticking out” in our memories, you know? I’m sure that Joe would have no idea the impression that he made on us little kids. I find this sort of comforting and hopeful. Perhaps in our lifetimes, doing nothing except going about, doing our daily business, we make an impression on more people than we realize. It’s such a good reminder to remember the kind of impression which we would like to make, especially for the little ones coming up in this world. The impressions we leave are our little chinks and marks and nicks on the world. Joe didn’t do anything particularly special, other than to smile and to take the time to pass out a few rubber bands, as he reliably delivered the mail each day in his cornflower blue uniform. And yet still, I remember Joe to this day. He’s probably passed on as I am 53, and I bet that Joe was my age when he was delivering our mail. But he left a mark, and it was a good one. . . .

Do you have something that you do everyday that you so look forward to doing? Do you have morning rituals or evening rituals that are your comfort signatures of the day? I have many, but perhaps my favorite habit is writing this blog almost every single day. It fills me with such joy and a sense of purpose. Thank you for being such a vital part of it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That being said, I am headed out on an adventure tomorrow and I won’t be back to writing the blog for over a week. I love writing this blog so much, that I used to take my computer along with me, wherever I went. I’ve written this blog from different states and even different countries. But I have learned from this experience, that it is best for me to fully immerse myself in my adventures, by leaving my daily rituals behind me. I’ve often thought that one of the best parts of travel is when you start to miss and yearn for all of the comforts and joys of home. Leaving home (fully) makes you appreciate it more.

Since I won’t be writing for the next couple of Fridays, I did want to leave you a bonus gift – a favorite of mine! The Insight Timer phone app has some of the best sleep meditations I have ever tried on it. There are so many different courses and guided meditations on this app, and so far, it has all been free. The Insight Timer is one of the most quality apps I have ever downloaded on my phone. Check it out!

If you miss me while I’m gone, please go through my archives. I’ve been writing this blog for several years now. It always tickles me when I see in the stats, years-old blog posts that are being viewed. I think there might be some treasures in there . . . .

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

1921. Do you prefer cats or dogs? (I love most animals and my childhood cat is a legend in my mind, but I’m a dog girl at heart.)

Tuesday’s Tidbits

+ Yesterday I received the sweetest text that I have gotten in a long time. It was a really kind, unusual, thoughtful compliment, out of nowhere, from a friend whom I haven’t seen in a while. It made my day! It made me want to do the same for other people. Don’t hesitate. Use this blurb as a nudge from the Universe to reach out and send some love to the first person who comes to mind. You won’t regret it. It’s the little things and kindnesses that keep our humanity afloat. Love makes the world go ’round.

+ I just read a really good interview that the author Cheryl Strayed did with another New York Times best selling author, Steve Almond. It was filled with good excerpts, but here are a few that I found to be interesting and sometimes relatable. Steve Almond’s words are the ones in italics.

“That’s often how you know a piece of advice is useful: the inconsolable urge to tell the advice-giver to f*ck off.” (This is so true, isn’t it? If there is a thread of truth in a piece of advice that we get, it tends to trigger us. If the advice doesn’t apply, we can easily dismiss it or laugh it off.)

“. . . .becoming less of an a**hole. That’s what therapy did for me. I woke up to the various ways in which I was being inconsiderate to other people—and to myself.” (Therapy can be incredibly useful, when you are in a humble state of really wanting to make changes, instead of just wanting, and hopelessly waiting for everyone else to change.)

“A couple of years ago, I was taking a walk with my teenage daughter. It was winter. Beside us, the Mystic River was sheathed in a plain of gray ice. I don’t remember what we were discussing, only that, at some point, she turned to me and said, “Dad, you’re like this guy who’s always walking on thin ice. But underneath that ice is a lake of rage.”

It was the single most devastating, and precise, assessment of my personality ever rendered. I wanted to drop to my knees—in awe and gratitude. And I’ve spent every day since thinking about what I can do to drain that lake of rage, which can be properly understood as a lake of poison.

Mostly, that’s consisted of me trying to shift from reaction to reflection. That is: to recognize when I feel the lake start bubbling and to ask myself: What’s going on here? Why am I being triggered? What pain or doubt or fear am I concealing?

I’m not suggesting that I’m walking around in some state of grace. Far from it. But I am in the process of trying to identify when and why I feel wronged. There are moments when I need to speak up (to stop walking on thin ice). But there are far more moments when my contempt is simply a way of hiding my vulnerabilities behind grievance.“

(Personally, I think by middle age, it is quite common to encounter many people walking on thin ice, and underneath them, lakes of rage. I think by middle age, many people realize that they haven’t lived a life true to themselves and the waters underneath them churn with anger and resentment and regret. The remedy is to thicken the ice, by being more true and authentic to yourself, going forward. When you love and trust yourself to tend to your own best care, it’s much easier to extend your kindness and grace to others.)

“Our job in life is to esteem who we are and what we’re doing. I don’t mean by this that we should just give ourselves a big hug and pretend that solves all our problems. But I do think that people tend to be too hard on themselves, and that this self-loathing inevitably gets inflicted on the folks around us.

I see this as a writing teacher, too. It’s the reason my new book has such an awkwardly aphoristic title. Over and over, I find myself encountering students who are, in one way or another, blocked when it comes to telling the truth—about their own experiences, and that of their fictional characters. The reason they’re blocked is because they felt guilty about breaking a long-held silence, fearful of the reaction they might receive, ambivalent about all the emotional disruption that comes with writing into deep truth. I tell them that the only path forward is through mercy. If they write with the intention of understanding, and forgiving, everyone involved, they’re going to travel further into the truth.

So I stand by that advice, especially for writers.“

Steve Almond’s latest book is Truth is the Arrow, Mercy is the Bow: A DIY Manual for the Construction of Stories.

+“We want to be present to the beauty of our life, not the story of it.” – Ashwini Narayanan

This is an important quote. We tend to start telling ourselves stories about what is happening right in the moment. We start with the labels and the judgments and the categorization and comparisons (I wish I had a dollar for everytime I said, “This reminds me of” . . . . ugh!), and instead of just feeling our feelings, we start telling ourselves more stories about why we are feeling what we are currently feeling. The next time that you are having a beautiful moment, and you catch yourself narrating it, in that very moment, tell the inner narrator to “hush”. You will best be able to vividly remember the moments and then later tell stories about them, only if you allow yourself to fully be present for the instantaneous “beauty” of living your life, in each and every moment.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

896. What is the coolest nickname you’ve ever heard for someone?

Monday – Funday

This is a rare day. Are any of you going to be able to fully witness it? According to NASA, the next total solar eclipse won’t be until August 23, 2044 and its full effect will only be able to be seen in three states in the United States. It’s a special day today!

This weekend I was reminded that the combination of our two water loving dogs, Ralphie, the Labrador retriever and Trip, the Boykin spaniel, together in our pool area, does not make for a relaxing evening. Inevitably, in order to have peace and less frenzied energy, we end up having to banish one of the boys to another part of the house. This weekend it was Trip’s turn for banishment. Josie, our rough collie, does fine herding one canine swimmer, but “having” to keep an eye on two “furmaids”, just puts her over the top.

This got me to thinking that often people and things that are wonderful individually can often make dangerous combinations. Our eldest son and our youngest son are funny and gregarious. They have us rolling with laughter all of the time. However, I have known not to sit them together at restaurants and certainly not in church pews during serious ceremonies such as funerals, since they were little boys. Funny and gregarious can become obnoxious, loud and over-the-top combustible, with the shared antics of these two young men, in seconds flat.

I looked up on the internet “some of the worst combinations”. Reddit users had some good and funny answers: “toothpaste and orange juice”, “rubbing alcohol and paper cuts”, “wasabi on your fingers and rubbing your eyes”, “milk and pickles”, “using your cell phone and driving” . . . . Some things are just better experienced on an individual basis.

Of course, some things are best experienced together. Sodium and chloride are poisonous substances until they are combined to make table salt. Two shoes is always better than one shoe. And I do love hearing all three dogs snoring in unison, in their beds, at the foot of our own bed, when we go to sleep at night. That chorus is comforting music to my ears.

Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.

Here is the question of the day from 3000 Questions About Me:

2013. If you got lost in the woods, what would you do?