In the interest of time this morning, I am going to re-publish another one of my answers to a question on Quora, that seems to have resonated with people:
The question: Women who have had a son, has having a son changed the way you view men and boys? If so, in what ways?
“I am a mother of four children, three of them are young men. I was not raised with brothers. I have one younger sister. In short, in my younger years, men were more of a mystery to me. Then, my three sons came along.
I have found, by raising sons, that I am much more empathetic and sympathetic towards men than I have ever been before. I KNOW that men are much more vulnerable, and caring, than they ever want to pretend to be. I have stopped seeing men as so “simple.” I used to think that we women were so complicated and men were more basic in their needs and wants, but now I see how much more alike all of us really are, in just our genuine humanity.
I’ve always liked men. I have experienced mostly good men in my lifetime. My sons have deepened my affection and my understanding of men. Through me and their sister, I want my sons to experience the best side of women. I know that their experiences with me, will have a big influence on how they “see” women as a whole. I want my sons to respect women, care about women and see us as equals, so I am conscious of that when I interact with them. I also want them to have enough self-respect, to choose kind, considerate, loving women as their partners and friends.
In the end, I have tried to raise all of my children, my sons and my daughter, with self-assurance, self-respect and kindness and consideration for all other living beings. My sons are a little bigger, a little “smellier”, a little louder, and they eat a little bit more than their sister does, but underneath it all, they are four beautiful souls, trying to make their way in an expansive, wondrous, sometimes confusing and scary, but always interesting world. And they are forging their way through this, all in their own unique ways, no matter what their sexual make-up. Of course, it goes without saying each one of them is carrying an equal quarter of my heart with them, on their journeys.”
Are you passing on love or are you passing on pain? Heal your pain and pass on love.
